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You looked up at him in awe, still after all this time it was awe that swept your expression and thoughts each and every time you looked at him. A successful and famous General, a role he took on without complaint despite it not being how he thought his Jedi life would go. He was kindhearted even after all the pain and tragedy he’d experienced in the galaxy. You were proud to call him yours, your Jedi, your Obi-Wan. You smiled fondly at how long you had danced around each other. You had met him at the end of his Padawan days, he was in the company of his Master. You worked in a small eatery in a district not too far from the Jedi Temple. Master Qui-Gon often visited with his Padawan after training or missions. You enjoyed their company, listening to their banter, sometimes even joining in. After his Master’s death, you were there to comfort him, you saw the pain and sadness in his eyes despite his assurance he was coping. You’d noticed how he would stare off into the distance outside, you’d bring him a cup of his favoured tea and a slice of cake, you’d give him a bright smile and pray that he’d give one in response. He’d simply nod and give a quiet thanks. He’d visit you more often after that, however he was the Master bringing along his Padawan. You were fond of Anakin, he helped fix things when they broke down unexpectedly.
“Your Padawan is something.” Your back was to Obi-Wan as you leaned against the counter. He hummed.
“Yes, he’s something alright.”
“Putting you through your paces Master Kenobi?” You threw a cheeky smile over your shoulder at the Jedi. He simply shook his head, a smile on his face.
You watched as both Obi-Wan and Anakin grew, both in age and wisdom. There were times when you wouldn’t see them for weeks at a time, at first it worried you but after a while you learned to wait patiently.
You stared at the two young men enter the eatery, it had just passed mid-afternoon. It was relatively quiet so your attention could be placed fully on the them.
“Y'know Master Kenobi, there’s people who simply cannot seem to grow a beard no matter what they try. I’m glad to say, you are not one of those people.” You smiled sweetly at the Jedi. He chuckled happily at your words.
“Why thank you dear one.” He replied, his hand going to stroke his facial hair.
“Please don’t encourage him.” Anakin almost whined.
When the war started, you feared for your friends. You saw how drained they were when they’d visit. You could always tell a good battle from a bad, their expression gave it away as soon as they stepped through the door. Obi-Wan had always tried to shield you away from the horrors the war had brought their way, he’d flash that smile of his and hope that you’d think everything was fine. You’d known him too long, you could see straight past his smile.
“Its on the house.” You’d always say to them after a particularly gruelling day. Some days you’d give them their favourite dessert to take back to the Temple, grateful to see a bright smile on their face as they left. You worried deeply for your Jedi friends, you couldn’t begin to think of the toll the war was taking on them. Then came the day Duchess Satine passed. Obi-Wan entered the eatery a couple days after the news broke on Coruscant, alone. You’d raised your brow at his figure as he sat in the corner, away from his usual spot. His fingers were constantly messing with his beard, his gaze off in the distance as if in great thought. You’d heard the rumours of Obi-Wan being involved with the Duchess’s death, from the way his brow was furrowed and his figure tense, you reckoned that despite his strict following of the Code, there was something between the two.
“Master Kenobi…” You gently placed a tray on the table, afraid that he would startle with how far away he seemed from the present.
“Ah, good afternoon.” He started meekly, once again trying to give you that smile as if he wasn’t suffering.
“Obi-Wan,” you reached for his hand and took it gently in yours, he didn’t try to pull away. “You can throw that smile around as much as you want, but I’ve known you long enough to see right past it.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss Obi-Wan.”
“I couldn’t save her.” Obi-Wan’s brow furrowed.
“I’ve heard the official statement. Obi-Wan, believe me when I say that you did all that you could.” As you spoke you gently caressed his hand in your grasp. Softly you brushed you hand upwards, running your fingers over his wrist. He didn’t respond to your words. Reluctantly you pulled your hands away from him and poured him a mug of his favoured tea, preparing it exactly to his taste. You placed it in front of him and nudged it towards him.
“Drink my Jedi friend.” You smiled sweetly.
“Friend,” he smiled fondly at your words. “You and I have known each other since my Padawan days. Perhaps trying to seem unperturbed by recent events was a poor choice in your company.”
“Perhaps.” You said as you placed a small plate with the dessert your favourite Jedi ordered regularly since first dining at the eatery.
“I often forget you know me so well dear one.” Obi-Wan spoke almost cheerfully as he took the cutlery and began to eat.
Obi-Wan visited the eatery alone more often after that day. You would talk animatedly, he’d sit at the counter to talk to you easily, he’d tell awful jokes sometimes but either way, his company was something you adored. His visits were the highlight of your week.
“Looking good Kenobi!” You called over your shoulder as he entered.
“How would you know dear one, you haven’t yet looked at me?” His tone was joking as he sat at the counter.
“My dear Jedi, you always look good. I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who takes such pride in their appearance.” You smiled.
“Now what can I do for you?” You asked gently leaning on the counter in front of him.
“The usual.” He replied simply. The two of you talked cheerfully for a couple of hours until your shift ended.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave you Master Kenobi.” You said as you looked at the time.
“Perhaps you’ll allow me to walk you home?” He questioned.
“I’d be honoured Obi-Wan.” You smiled brightly at the young man. He offered his arm to you as the both of you exited the eatery, you took it happily. It wasn’t a long trip to your apartment, it might have been incredibly small and overly priced but it was home nevertheless.
“Well… this is home.” You shrugged as you stood at the door. Obi-Wan nodded and took a glance down the corridor.
“I suppose this is farewell for now dear one.”
“Dear one? You always call me that, why?” You finally ask, you’d kept the question to yourself for as long as you could remember; you enjoyed the nickname, you were afraid he would no longer call you it if you asked about it.
“Well, because you are very dear to me, old friend.”
“Hey! Enough with the old!” You teased, “Hmm,” you tilted you head, Obi-Wan raised a brow at you. “Anyone would think you were flirting Obi-Wan.” You teased, quickly you leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“I really do like this beard.” You say, your fingers brushing over his jaw. Before he could reply you flashed a smile and entered your apartment. You held your hand to your chest, wishing for it not to beat so hard and fast. You smiled to yourself and felt the heat on your cheeks.
It wasn’t long after that day and with an immense amount of reassurance and planning on both parts, the two of you began a clandestine relationship. Obi-Wan was a generous and kind lover. It was in the arms of that lover that you found yourself now, looking up at him in awe. You watched as his brow furrowed suddenly.
“Satine.” He called out. Your heart froze in your chest at the name. On the anniversary of her death he’d opened up about his past with the Duchess. You listened intently and comforted him when he fell silent. Sometimes you feared you were trying to compete with a ghost. You felt his arms tighten around you, Obi-Wan called out her name again.
“Obi.” You whispered sadly, reaching up to cup his cheek.
“Satine.” He sighed, leaning into your touch. You swallowed harshly.
“Obi-Wan.” You tried to rouse him.
“Satine… no…” He called out pained, his grip on you tightened further. You pulled his arms away from your body and sat up, you pulled you knees to your chest and ran your fingers through your hair. You let out a sigh and looked back at the Jedi. He stirred in his sleep before waking.
“Is there something wrong my dear one?” He fretted, sitting up and trying to pull you close but you pulled away.
“Dear one?” He questioned.
“You were calling her name out.” You said quietly. Slowly you stood and went to the window, staring at the outside world going by.
“Oh…”
“Obi-Wan… I love you… You know that right? But sometimes…it… It feels as if I’m,” you sighed sadly and wrapped your arms around yourself. “It feels like I’m competing with the dead.” You finally aired your fear. Abruptly you felt warmth wrap around you as a blanket was draped over your shoulders, solid arms wrapped around your front gingerly.
“My darling… I’m afraid there will always be a part of my heart she resides in,” he paused a moment, noticing the slump in your shoulders at his words. “However my dear one, I love you deeply,” he stepped to stand in front of you, he took one of your hands and rested it over his heart. “My darling, in this whole galaxy I haven’t met anyone quite like you, despite Satine holding a piece of my heart, the rest, the rest, dear one, beats for you.”
You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face. You reach up and cup the Jedi’s face, stroking his cheeks with your thumbs before leaning up and pressing your lips against his.
“You Obi-Wan are a hopeless romantic.” You grinned, pressing another kiss to his lips, he kissed back eagerly. He hated to see you hurt, to see you upset. His fingers went through your hair, keeping you close to him as he kissed back. His lips soft, his beard tickled you, causing you to giggle inbetween kisses. He raised a brow at you, a smile on his face.
“Come on Obi-Wan,” you took his hand and guided him back to the bed. “Time to return to sleep.” You curled up under the covers.
“Of course my darling,” Obi-Wan pulled you close to his side, his fingers brushing over your cheek. “With you by my side, in my arms.”
“I believe that’s the only way.” You grinned widely, leaning over to press a final kiss against his lips before settling down beside him. You rested your head on his shoulder and let him hold you. Yes there was some doubt on your part in the relationship, but Obi-Wan would always reassure you that you were the only one for him. Always.