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An even pap pap pap announces Jack’s arrival, the man coming at full speed before vaulting over the back of the couch. His ass painfully collides with the two men sitting squeezed together and with their eyes glued to the holo-display of a large TV before them. A good amount of squirms interjected with hissed curses later, he wiggles himself in between the two of them.
“Sup nerds, what’cha up to?” Without any shame or reservations, Jack shoves his hand straight into a bowl full of their designated fun time snacks, and then starts obnoxiously crunching.
“Uh, hi?” It’s Vaughn who first manages to break out of the outraged silence, “just playing, catching up, uh, the usual stuff?” To him, Jack’s still an unknown quantity despite knowing one another and working together for a couple of years now. While he has no problems dealing with Jack’s generally bad attitude at work, this version of the stubborn man, somewhat more domestic with his, or rather, Rhys’ colourful socks and a worn out thick sweater feels far more dangerous. The fact that he tends to play pranks on everyone does not help.
That is why it’s Rhys’ duty to come and save his best friend from his best… frenemy.
“What do you want? We’re busy, go drown some baby skags or set a bandit on fire.” The split screen is currently showing his character bleeding out and Rhys elbows the man closest to him just to get some of his anger out.
“Yeah, I can see that cupcake, busy dying ,” Jack’s forcefully too long and too loud laughter sends crumbles in every direction, making Vaughn protectively cover his pad, “damn these chips really suck, no wonders you two are doing so badly if all you’ve got are those crappy snacks!”
“Then don’t eat them, god, they aren’t for you!”
“But I’m hungry!”
“There are leftovers in the fridge, go get yourself some!” In one last attempt at saving their snacks, Rhys grabs a handful of chips and hides them in the only safe place he knows. Inside of his mouth.
Vaughn does the same, and for a few moments, the three of them fight over who can fit the most or swallow the fastest, and Rhys thinks he’s finally winning, the mission on the screen completely abandoned until the artificial voice announces their failure.
It takes them a while to settle their dispute, the sad remains of the snacks scattered over the floor, Jack seemingly taking great pleasure in the chaos he has created, “all right losers, now, deal me in, you clearly need some help here.”
Vaughn tilts his head slightly, baffled both by the unfitting wording and the meaning itself, “really? Do you even know how to play?”
“Listen, shrimp , I was born with a pad in one hand and mountain brew in the other, now, move it,” snapping his fingers impatiently, Jack all but snatches the third pad from Vaughn’s hands and eagerly thumbs the buttons, well, at the very least, Rhys supposes, the man is familiar with gaming culture although he honestly hasn’t seen him play anything before, ”now, what exactly are we even playing?”
Two hands vaguely gesture towards the cover of the game lying on the table, Jack’s eyes immediately lighting up, “oh I know this one! Really vintage. Saving the galaxy and all that jazz, Mas…” whatever he had to say, is instantly muffled when both Vaughn and Rhys slap their palms over his way too talkative mouth.
“Shh, you don’t want that other video game company filing a lawsuit, do you?” Hissed straight into Jack’s ear. Apparently he doesn’t, or just doesn’t care enough to continue talking.
The holo display stretches to accommodate for the third player, the view now split into three even sections and they all get to pick their characters for the next mission. Jack ends up choosing, unsurprisingly, a vanguard class and a heavy shotgun, nasty smirk curling his lips when they are dropped off at the LZ.
Survival mission, one of Rhys’ favourite, facing against waves of bug-like enemies.
For a while it goes more or less smoothly, Vaughn with his turret carrying the team and to their surprise, Jack’s doing fairly well despite sticking to the far end of the map and randomly charging left and right. At least he’s staying alive.
Troubles start halfway through, his vanguard taken down by the hostile praetorian and Rhys, driven by some strange feeling of protectiveness, rushes forward with a medkit in hand to revive this moron. The very same moron who’s right now choking back on sinister laughter, “wait wait Rhysie, damn you’re so bad, I’m coming to save you, just spam that space button and don’t bleed out!”
Rhys feels the need to point out that there are no ‘space buttons’ on their pads but frankly, he’s a little bit too stunned to say anything.
“Okay, now! Back on your feet soldier, and stop lagging behind!” Jack sounds way too pleased with himself as Rhys almost automatically keeps nudging the buttons to work through the approaching enemies although his narrowed eyes stay fixed on the other’s excited face. “Ha! Saw that!? That collector just went all fwoosh!”
The vanguard charges off the edge of the map.
Rhys can’t believe what he’s seeing but it’s Vaughn who voices their concern, “Jack? Do you know which character is yours?”
“Sure!” one finger points towards the middle screen and the sentinel crouching behind a stack of crates.
This momentary distraction costs them the mission, and while Jack is too busy blaming everyone for being useless, Vaughn decides that he has had enough of the constant bickering and watching his N7 rating plummet to the ground, so, with a half-hearted ‘I should go’, he waves them goodbye.
“See what you’ve done? My ‘kill cerberus lunatics and chill’ night just went to hell!” crossing both arms over his chest, Rhys keeps angrily eyeing the other man.
“Eh? Not my fault your weirdly buff BFF felt bad about losing that match! Anyway, now, my turn to choose the next game!”
The first pick turns out to be a classy fighting game but Rhys has a feeling it would only end up in a real fist-fight or at least a scuttle, so he says no and subtly points Jack in the direction of a title he has been waiting to finish for a little while.
“This one cupcake? Can’t say I’m familiar with it.”
“Oh, hmm yeah, they have released it a few years ago, someone thought making a game based on Vault Hunters’ stories would be a good idea. I think I’m one or two missions away from the finale. Oh! And it has -you- as the villain…”
Jack is already plucking the data stick containing the game out of its box and switching the one currently plugged into the gaming console.
“Neat. All right, lets see how well they did portraying this handsomeness… aaand what is this shit?” It’s the character choice menu and Jack keeps swiping between the six playable heroes with his eyebrows narrowed, “oh come on, this is some bullymong crap, who would even want to play as these dweebs.”
Rhys doesn’t even try to argue, locking in Zer0 and settling down to watch the other man fume in anger. Jack doesn’t need long before he comes up with yet another of his ‘bright’ ideas, bouncing up to run towards the repository room where Rhys tends to keep most of his valuable data. He’s back within seconds, victoriously clutching another data-stick in his hand, only to quickly jam it into the empty slot of the console.
The display sizzles and glitches before a large announcement takes over most of the screen.
New playable character added
From behind it, Jack’s overly pleased face grins at them.
“Are you for real?!”
“Yup,” and with that, Jack idly kicks the discarded pad before throwing himself onto the couch, “ha! Witness this pumpkin, no hands!” as on cue, he wiggles his fingers in the air while the ‘Jack’ on screen starts choosing his loadout.
“Damn, you are like one of those highly viral viruses…”
“Can’t stop, won’t stop pumpkin!” The smirk shot Rhys’ way is borderline evil and leaves him wondering where -else- has Jack uploaded himself.
After some consideration, he decides he’d rather not know.
“Uh, okay, so the plot so far, although I’m guessing you more or less know it, is that Lilith has been captured and we need to save her and Pandora.”
That has the other man rolling his eyes, “let that bitch rot.”
“Oh come on, it’s just a game…”
But it’s never ‘just a game’ with Jack, the man getting seriously involved into mowing down WAR Loaders and virtual copies of his ex-employees until they just about reach the opened Vault and the Handsome Jack shows up.
“Hey! Look pumpkin! That’s me! Hey me! Stop calling me a bandit, I’m here to save you, this time we’re gonna get it right!”
Except there is no ‘saving’ when the bullets start raining down on them and it’s up to the assassin to deal with the duplicates of the final boss, Jack choosing to run towards his video game version and trying to greet him in the usual mmo style of awkward hops, crouches and friendly melees. It’s one of those melees that eventually chips away at the last few HPs of their enemy. In the vault key goes and the view trembles when a hulking beast appears over the inverted V of the vault entrance.
“Wow, they did a damn good job on the Warrior!”
“Really Jack? Really? You wanted to control -that- thing?”
“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t!”
“That’s insane! Look at this thing, god damn it Jack!” Rhys keeps anxiously tugging at his hair, and pointing at the screen.
“And now you sound like those stupid vault hunters, you better watch what you are saying...” Jack’s voice sounds unexpectedly close and spiteful, the man having crawled closer, his attention completely unwavering despite the hero on the screen currently unloading a whole clip straight into the Warrior’s glowing chest.
That sends a cold shiver running down Rhys’ spine, he has grown too used to Jack as he tends to behave around him nowadays, that sometimes, the man’s past and real nature escapes him. Whatever and whoever Jack has become, the bloodlust and maniacal tendencies are still integral to his core programming.
This, however, isn’t the time to dwell on it and Rhys concentrates on helping in taking down the monster, the fight long and hard, leaving his fingers stiff by the end of it. Jack on the other hand, seems at the very least half sympathetic towards the Warrior, often urging him to duck or hide in the lava, his voice mixing with that of the in-game Handsome Jack. The very one currently trying to hold his insides from spilling and yelling curses in defeat. It takes Lilith finally start threatening to kill him herself for Rhys to notice that the flesh and bone Jack has grown completely silent.
The CGI Lilith makes her move when neither of the heroes do but before she can finish Handsome Jack, a single shot rings in the room and the gaming console shatters into pieces.
Jack’s eyes are burning with hatred and the hand holding the gun keeps ever so slightly wavering.
“This. Is. So. Much. BULLSHIT! I’m 100% sure that’s not how it went! Have you seen that, pumpkin?! What a load of crap, that fight was too easy, I wouldn’t have died so easily at the hands of those MONSTERS!” He’s angrily pacing around the living room, knocking over whatever dared to be in his way as he keeps on ranting.
“Jack? I’m, uhhh, I’m sorry, I didn’t know this is where the story would lead, I thought they wanted to leave that out till the third game…” for once Rhys feels a small dose of regret, watching Jack stomp around like a skag in a cage.
“Ohhh I want to get my hands around that self-righteous bitch’s throat so badly, and squeeze until her stupid neck snaps, to think that it was her and her lil’ pet Vault Hunters that have somehow played dirty and fucked me over? God DAMN it! Argh, there must be another Vault with something similar to the Warrior, I’m gonna find it to hunt her down and burn EVERYTHING!”
That’s enough in Rhys’ opinion, and it’s high time to make Jack snap out of his current bout of rage. Carefully, he comes closer, making sure the other man sees him, one hand coming up to lightly rest over Jack’s arm.
“Hey, hey, Jack?” he’s trying to keep his voice steady and low, soothing enough to calm the other down without making him think he’s being coddled, “it’s fine, you’re here, we are gonna find all those Vaults if you want to, okay? Look at Pandora, over the last few years we have subdued nearly 90% of it, see? There no longer are any bandits, we did it, it’s fine, and next month the first terraforming team will be arriving on Elpis…” as gently as he can, Rhys tugs the other man closer and into his arms, and as he keeps talking, angry, green and blue eyes turn more focused on him rather than whatever carnage Jack has been imagining, “and then we’ll take over other borderland planets, okay?”
There is a semblance of calm and rationality returning to the man, and soon, Rhys’ embrace is hesitantly returned.
“Jack, you uhhh, the game you, said you wanted to create a paradise here, right?” He can feel the brush of Jack’s nose just above his collarbones when he nods, “and that’s what we’re doing here but… how about something else hmm? Nowadays Atlas is a company only on paper. I can give you a paradise but wouldn’t you rather have … an empire?”
“Damn baby,” Jack’s voice is slightly rough and yet he still manages to crack a slightly forced, lopsided smirk, “I love it when you talk megalomaniac to me, that’s hot!”
Jack is a warm, heavy weight of bad intentions in his arms, and Rhys thinks, that he likes him like that best.