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Loki woke up slowly. Mornings were always tough for him, at least until he had his first cup of coffee. He laid in bed, his eyes closed.
He tried to turn over and get a few more minutes of sleep, but there was a heavy weight on his chest, and he couldn’t move. It was common for him to wake up with Darcy’s head on his chest, so he didn’t really think much of it.
"Darcy," he said. "Darcy, move your head."
When he got no response, he reached out with his hand to shake her awake; to his surprise, his hand only met air. If Darcy wasn’t there, then what was sitting on his chest?
Loki slowly opened his eyes. He blinked once, then twice, not believing what he saw.
The ugliest creature he had ever seen - a cat, he believed the mortals called them - was sitting on his chest. It was huge, easily a good twenty pounds. Its fur was a hideous shade of brown mixed with black, and one of its ears looked like it had been bitten in half. Its eyes were big and gold, and fixated on his.
"Meow."
"Darcy!!!!!" Loki cried out. When there was no response, he tried again. "Darcy, get in here!"
After a few seconds Darcy came in through the door, two cups of coffee in her hands.
"Oh, I see you’ve met Myeu-muh," Darcy said, grinning. "Isn’t he cute? I found him wandering outside, and he looked hungry, so I let him in."
She placed Loki’s cup on the nightstand next to him. The monster cat finally got off of his chest and walked over to Darcy, purring. She scratched him behind the ears, and it closed its eyes in bliss.
Loki looked askance at her. “The last thing I would say is that it is cute.” he said, then added, “You named a cat after Thor’s hammer -and not just the name of Thor’s hammer, but your mispronunciation of its name?”
"Well yeah," Darcy said, sipping her coffee, "He’s big, you can’t move if he sits on you, and you wouldn’t really want to pick him up without asking, would you?"
"Are we keeping this…creature?" he asked.
"It’s not a creature, Loki, it’s a CAT," Darcy said, offended. She scooped the cat up into her arms and continued, "Yes, we are keeping him, and that’s that."
Darcy turned and walked out the door. Loki got one final glimpse of the cat, and frowned. He could swear the cat was giving him a smug look.
He reached for his cup of coffee, ready to get up for the day, but changed his mind and turned over, burying his head under the pillows.
It was way too early for this.