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Lucien, who was 18 by now, was very well capable of freaking out about lots of things. At the moment one of his biggest concerns were the finals that were creeping up to him with fast steps. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to get everything done, if he would make it through the class and if he would try to get into college …? He wasn’t even sure what kind of stuff he wanted to do at all? Studying something for the sake of studying and not working? Working? Life choices? - Everything pulled at him.
The only solace he had was Ernest. They had started dating a while ago, things were difficult but they made it work somehow. At least that was what Lucien had thought.
He knew he had been a bit absent lately, that he hadn’t spend as much time with Ernest as he had wanted to but god, did he really need to replace Lucien just like that?
They were sitting outside on the schoolyard and Ernest new ‘friend’ was with them, happily talking with him. God, Lucien wanted to either kill himself or that guy. The thing that was even worse was the fact that they were in the same class so of course they spend time together.
“Please tell me you didn’t start the project either,” Leonard said chuckling and leaned a bit over the table. Did he do that on purpose?
“Nah, who do you think I am?” Ernest casually said, shrugged a bit and leaned back, shoving his hands into his pockets.
Leonard chuckled, Lucien rolled his eyes. Fucking prick.
“Susan is probably getting a pat from the teacher for her shit, she told me she’s been working on her stuff for like 20 hours or so,” Leonard shrugged and grinned a bit.
Ernest made a sound. “What the fuck?! 20 hours? Dude, if I’ll do it last minute I’ll have one minute for it,” he exclaimed, earning another chuckle from Leonard. “She’s such a teacher’s-pet,” Ernest added annoyed.
Leonard huffed. “You’re a teacher's-child. How’s that any better?”
Ernest snarled but let out a laugh. “Fuck you, Lee.”
“Oh my god,” Lucien groaned annoyed, rolling his eyes and looking away. The eyes of both, Ernest and Leonard darted over to him. Ernest raised one eyebrow.
“Something wrong?” he asked and Lucien wanted to scream. Ernest didn’t have a judging tone but it damn much felt like he was blaming him for something. He probably blamed him for interrupting his fun. God.
“I guess I’ll leave you two alone for now,” Lucien just growled and got up. “See you later, Lee,” he kind of spat the others nickname before he turned around and walked away from the scene.
He heard Ernest sighing and saying: “I gotta take care of this real quick,” before he stood up and walked after Lucien. “Wait a sec, man!”
Lucien didn’t and continued to walk away. “You don’t need to take care of this ‘real quick’, just get back,” he mumbled but Ernest didn’t hear him. The younger reached him though and grabbed his wrist to hold him back. Lucien sighed, stopped and turned around to Ernest.
“What?”
“What’s your problem?” Ernest asked, confused and maybe even mildly pissed. He knew Lucien and he knew that he could behave like an idiot, but this situation went right over his mind.
“There is no problem, everything is fine I just don’t wanna hang around when you’re spending so much quality time with your friend over there,” Lucien said venomous, Ernest was spending way too much time with that guy. Not that he demanded the other to always pay attention to him, but god, this was bothering him.
“Ahh,” Ernest made, a slight smile on his features. “That’s your fucking problem, you’re jealous.”
Lucien huffed annoyed. “I’m not! Or do I have a reason to?”
“God, Lucien!” Ernest breathed out. “I am allowed to have friends, you know?”
Somehow that hit Lucien harder than he would have wanted it to. Of course Ernest was allowed to have friends, god he could hang with all the people he wanted. It was just that he needed to get along so damn well with that dickface right in the time where Lucien already knew he wasn’t spending nearly enough time with the other. He felt like he was being shoved aside, as if that guy was a cheap replacement. Or maybe he had been the cheap one all along?
“He is just a friend, my god,” Ernest groaned as Lucien didn’t seem to answer. Lucien felt like an idiot for being bitchy about this.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” he shrugged and crossed his arms in front of his chest, slightly shifting and avoiding Ernest’s gaze.
“It’s not,” the younger sighed now definitely annoyed. Lucien has never made a fuss about things like that.
“You can’t possibly be that insecure,” Ernest muttered, not meaning any harm with it. That didn’t change the fact that it did harm anyway.
“Fuck you,” Lucien gritted his teeth and looked into another direction to avoid the other’s gaze. Ernest sighed deeply and kept quiet for now. He didn’t want to anger Lucien any more and he was really not feeling like any drama right now.
“Does he know?” Lucien suddenly asked as another rush of anxiety went through his body. Ernest and him had figured too much out already for some fucking asshole to pry them apart again.
“Does he know what?”
“That we’re a thing, you know. Does he know?”
Ernest growled and crossed his arms. “It’s not like we ever started to talk about that,” he said and hurt Lucien with it. It wasn’t like he hid it, it wasn’t like he wasn’t telling people that they were an item, it was just that Leonard and him weren’t that close. They never talked relationship to each other, so Ernest didn’t randomly share it with him. He wasn’t someone to shove things like that into others faces.
Lucien on the other hand believed this to be Ernest’s subtle hint on a breakup. Great, fucking great.
“Sometimes I wonder why I still put up with your crap!” he spat before he walked away again, this time with more force.
Ernest stood there, dumbfounded before he waved Lucien off and slowly walked back to Leonard.
“Everything good?” his friend asked, but Ernest just rolled his eyes. “No idea, I talk to him later,” he said and they continued to talk about homework, susan and duchess latest adventure in youth pastor josephs garden.
Lucien got home later, still angry and hurt. He briefly greeted his father before he walked upstairs and fell flat onto his bed. God why was Ernest such a freaking prick.
The moment Lucien’s body hit the soft cushions of his bed, felt the safety of home surrounding him tears started to stream down his cheeks. He bit down his lower lip and his anger vanished into guilt and self-hatred.
He hadn’t meant to lash out like that and it hadn’t really been that bad actually and god, that guy was most likely just a friend. He should get his fucking act together.
He hid his face in the pillow and wished to merge into it.
It didn’t take all too long until someone shoved his room door open. The door was closed again and Lucien pushed himself more into the soft embrace of the cushions, still hoping to become one with them.
“You make me sad … just looking at you,” Ernest said as he walked over to Lucien and sat down on his bed. Lucien muffled something into his pillow.
“Did you calm down?” Ernest asked and Lucien turned his head over to him.
“... Fuck you,” he mumbled and Ernest chuckled. Lucien’s voice lacked any bite. He probably had calmed down.
“Wanna tell me what was going on?”
Lucien shrugged a bit and played with the soft fabric of the pillow. “I don’t like that guy.”
“Really? I could have never guessed, oh my god!” Ernest called out and Lucien shot him a deadly gaze. This wasn’t the moment for his poorly placed sarcasm, his stupid grin made Lucien smile slightly anyway. Fuck that guy.
“You’ve been stupid, Lucien, honestly. We’re just friends or something, maybe not even that. We hang out in class and I’m copying my homework from that guy. It’s not like we meet up or anything,” Ernest explained and Lucien slowly sat up. It sounded reasonable to him and that made this whole situation worse. He really didn’t have any reason to be a dick to Ernest.
“And I didn’t tell him about us, because he never asked,” Ernest continued looking over to Lucien who nodded slowly, before he let out and frustrated groan.
“I was a prick wasn’t I?” he mumbled but his mood seemed to swing again. “But you didn’t need to fucking start and replace me like that.”
Ernest furrowed his brows. “Eh … what now?”
“I mean it, while I am freaking out you go around and suddenly find your extroverted self.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I wasn’t replacing you. One of you is plenty, fuckass.”
Lucien let out a huff and slapped Ernests upper arm. The teen started to laugh slightly and Lucien's features softened up a bit more too. Ernest just chuckled slightly.
“Okay, great, now that this is over, wanna do something fun?” he asked.
“Like what?”
“Playing some videogames?”
Lucien nodded and smiled slightly before he got up. “Okay, sure,” he said. Videogames made everything better. Ernest got up as well and before Lucien could walk over to the playstation and get everything ready, he grabbed his wrist again, stopping him in his movements.
Lucien looked over to the younger and again he screamed internally because of the fact that Ernest was a bit taller than him by now. Apart from that he was still Ernest, scruffy, idiotic and cynical Ernest with an unhealthy love for hoodies.
Ernest let go of Lucien’s wrist, leaned over to over to Lucien and gave him a kiss on the lips. Lucien flicked his tongue and bit down Ernests lower lip. The other pulled back.
“Hey!”
“Get your ass over to the couch, I want to beat you up not making out!”
