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after they win, jaehwan looks for him, desperate, smiling like a fool and they fuck until both are shaking, the others are no longer screaming and celebrating, and the rising sun is seeping through the window. minhyun looks at the younger and his heart is shouting “it's time to get away”, get up, tell jaehwan they can’t do it anymore, it's too risky. but jaehwan is asleep, heating up his side and he is not able to move.
he almost doesn't sleep and when jaehwan shakes in his sleep, but doesn't wake up, he decides that he can't stay. daniel is leaving his room at the same time he closes the door and they look at each other, everyone taking out the younger ones knows what is going on between him and jaehwan.
daniel's eyes don’t show judgment, but it is obvious what's going on in his mind, he can’t let his hormones make everyone pay if they get caught, fanservice is good, but having two members in some kind of love relationship or sexual is very very bad.
he spends two days fleeing jaehwan, the tension in the bedroom becomes so heavy that jisung needs to ask him to solve whatever is going on there. of course it's not easy, jaehwan looks hurt when he says they should stop, that they need to focus on their lives as idols, they don’t make eye contact and minhyun has to stop himself from holding jaehwan’s hands.
the next days are tense, minhyun is tense near jaehwan who doesn’t even seem to care about his presence. as time passes things get better, after two months they can talk casually and minhyun denies to himself that he still thinks of jaehwan, all the time.
sometimes minhyun catches the jaehwan looking at him and he feels fire lick his insides, the urge to push him against the wall and kiss him, but most of the time it is he who looks at jaehwan, wishing things were different, that in an alternate universe they might still be together.
the worst part is controlling his jealous, pretending he doesn't feel it, that he don't care when someone holds jaehwan where he used to hold. and jaehwan being the social butterfly he has always been, is always around many people, always touching them, holding them by the shoulders or hugging them, he knows that he has no reason to be jealous, it is uncontrollable how much he wants jaehwan to be his.
☆彡
have been six months, officially they have another year and the fear of time affects everyone, the more they drink the louder their conversations become, even the youngest who aren’t allowed to drink are talking loudly.
the manager thought it would be a good idea to leave them alone, jisung in charge but he is already almost as drunk as the others, his cheeks are pink and his gasping laugh. minhyun knows that he should stop drinking, as one of the elders he has responsibilities together with jisung, he shouldn't cross the line and shame himself in front of his dongsaengs
he takes another shot when jaehwan approaches a group of girls and boys, his eyes narrow unconsciously and he bites his own lip. jaehwan is obviously drunk, throwing himself over a girl who smiles cheerfully and hugs him back, the two turn into a person and minhyun swears that he sees red.
the chair clawing on the floor makes a sound that awakens everyone on the table, sungwoon tries to hold him and ong holds the chair that almost falls, the others stay aware while minhyun tries not to break something on his way to jaehwan, he's not drunk, jealous seems to intoxicate him more than the two bottles of soju.
his voice comes out hoarse when he speaks and jaehwan jumps up, startled. "let's go," he tries to pull the youngest, who doesn't even move. "kim jaehwan! we're leaving now."
“no,” he says, but lets minhyun take him in his arms. "minhyun, the others aren’t coming?"
minhyun checks if he has his keys and phone, they are already outside, he doesn't want to talk to jaehwan because he’s afraid of what he might end up doing. "i said we were leaving," as they wait for the cab he buys a bottle of water to jaehwan.
more than twenty minutes later they are in home, minhyun goes straight to his room and almost knocks the door as jaehwan shows up and faces him.
"what?" he asks abruptly.
"why?" jaehwan looks so nervous. "why did we have to go home? what did i do wrong?"
"oh," minhyun laughs, he sounds so sarcastic. "so you don't know." he takes a step forward and jaehwan shakes but doesn't move away, minhyun keeps approaching and stop when his lips brush jaehwan's cheek. "you," he closes his eyes and breathes deeply to control his feelings, at least he tries. “don't play with me, jaehwannie.”
"are you jealous, minhyun? tell me, please. be honest with me." jaehwan grabs minhyun’s shirt and makes them get closer. "you still want me?" he kiss minhyun's neck and pushes him toward the bed.
"jaehwan," he tries to speak but is too afraid, his body shakes when the back of his knees hit the bed and he falls sitted. “tell me you don’t want me, hyung. tell me and i’ll leave you alone.”
they look at each other and minhyun raises his hand to caress jaehwan's face, the younger closes his eyes and waits for minhyun decide what he wants.
he just want minhyun to be happy.
"jaehwannie, i can't," he says quietly, "i can't be without you."
"i love you," jaehwan lets out a sigh. "i love you so much, minhyun. after it's over i want to be with you, forever."