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"Like Richard here could ever land a date with a girl." Bighead teased, nudging Richard with his elbow as the whole group laughed. Richard laughed with them, taking a sip of the alcoholic concoction Jared had put together.
"Never gonna happen." He confirmed, fiddling with his cup as he avoided eye contact. Even with people he trusted, eye contact wasn't a thing he was good at.
"Don't say that, Richard, you'll find someone. You're quite a catch." Jared piped up, voice soft and sincere as it always was.
Richard looked up at him and smiled, hoping his blush wasn't too noticeable. There was obviously a miscommunication somewhere between them, but that could be settled in the morning. For now, he was just going to enjoy the attention and the compliment.
When Richard woke up hungover in the morning, he didn't remember that it had happened at all.
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"Well, we could try and come from the diversity angle." Jared told them while brainstorming ideas.
"We're obviously not as diverse as we could be, but for as small a company we are, we're covering two different types of diversity. Race and LGBT. We could use that as a point to try and gain support."
"Wait, wait, wait," Dinesh cut in, his face contorted into a confused frown. "which one of us is gay? Because, I did not get that notice." He looked around the group, as if trying to figure out who had hid this from him. Richard frowned right back, about to answer in the positive when Jared did instead.
"Oh, that would be myself, Dinesh. Though I'm not actually gay, I'm bisexual."
"Why... Does that makes a strange amount of sense?"
The discussion continued, all of them trying to figure out how to advertise the company while Richard now remained silent, stunned.
Oh my god. he thought to himself, blinking rapidly. They all think I'm straight. They had seen him with women, right? He had no interest in what was going on there.
This is the funniest thing that's ever happened to me.
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Dinesh slumped down in the seat next to him, sighing and holding his head in his hand.
"I told you you wouldn't have any luck." Gilfoyle said, taking a sip of his beer. Dinesh groaned, taking a much longer pull from his own drink.
"What do they even see in that guy, anyway?! What's he got going for him?" He ranted, arm making sharp, annoyed motions as he talks.
"Well, he's an attractive guy." Richard answered, checking him out again for the first time since Dinesh sat down.
"What the fuck, dude?" Dinesh asked him bluntly, face morphed in confusion.
"Well- like- I'm just saying. He's got, attractive features, and junk. Not that I know what his junk looks like! I just meant, stuff. You know?" God, channelling his inner high-school-Richard was hilarious just for the looks on both their faces.
"That's really gay." Dinesh answered, really just hitting the nail on the head. Richard looked down at the table, pretending to be annoyed.
"Look, whatever. You know what I meant." He muttered.
This is probably the best corporate party I've ever been to.
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"Wow. You really have always been a proper ladies man."
"What?" Richard asked, turning to see Gilfoyle holding a laptop.
"Found some old photos of you. On that MySpace you forgot to delete. Prom with Bighead? Really?"
Richard smiled softly, he'd almost forgotten how much fun he and Bighead had that night.
"Yeah, it was a great time. We did dinner and the whole matching flowers thing. He even convinced me to dance towards the end of the night."
Gilfoyle grunted, closing the laptop.
"You are way to proud for this to be used against you. It's a wonder more people don't think the two of you are dating." He shook his head slightly while Richard frowned slightly.
"I'd rather people think I was dating my best friend than for the guy I want to date thinking I don't even like him." He replied pointedly, raising an eyebrow as Gilfoyle's head turned towards him.
"We weren't talking about that." He snapped.
"Weren't we?" Richard answered easily, smiling to himself as Gilfoyle narrowed his eyes and left.
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Erlich was always a large presence. He seemed to exude confidence and charisma. It was no different here at the bar they were celebrating their latest success at, the blonde attracting both men and women with easy flirting and sly smirks.
Richard kind of envied him, it always took a lot out of him whenever he was in the mood for action. He was good at it, it just took so much effort. Richard especially envied him because the guy he was flirting with now was super fucking hot.
He was just drunk enough to not care that he was playing the "how long can I convince them I'm straight" game, holding his head in one hand while he blatantly checked the guy out. Dinesh and Gilfoyle were arguing over something he wasn't bothered to care about, Jared was getting more drinks, or maybe food, and Erlich was coming over to the table, staring Richard down.
Whoops. Shit.
He grabbed his drink and looked in another direction, even though it would be useless at this point. The man sat down next to him, clapping an arm around his shoulders, a wide grin on his face.
"Richie! You don't have to stare like that, buddy, I will absolutely teach you how to flirt with the ladies if you want me to." Erlich declared, face flushed from alcohol.
Richard laughed, ducking his head and pushing at his side slightly.
"No, no, you go have fun. I'll be just fine without the ladies." He answered dryly, batting away the hand Erlich was trying to muss up his hair with.
"Alright, but don't say I never offered. You enjoy being lady-less." Erlich said as he walked back over to Super Hot Guy. Richard sighed and rolled his eyes.
"I will."
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Jared was a blessing, truly. One he knew he didn't thank enough, but that didn't seem to stop him. He was there providing support, ideas and his tireless dedication everyday, and more. More being soft smiles, gentle reminders to eat and drink water, hands on his shoulders as he handed him cups and paperwork, light blushes and bright smiles when Richard did remember to compliment him.
He made many blunders in his game of "how long can they think I'm straight", most of them being his interactions with women. Dinesh and Erlich tease him about it, while Gilfoyle just calls him a loser. But not Jared.
Jared, instead of making fun of him, would just smile at him, ever the comforting presence, and offer him kind words.
"Don't worry, Richard. You're brilliant, kind, and good looking. You'll find a lovely woman to settle down and be happy with."
He always ended up blushing, ducking his head down to his keyboard or his lap, just grinning at the compliments. He almost believed Jared could like him back, but Jared was like this with everyone. That's just the kind of person he was. Still, the idea of asking him out had made its way into his brain, even distracting him at times.
Then he met Winnie.
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Richard didn't do this often. Go out by himself to a gay bar to try and find a hook-up. Just when he was really, really desperate. The last time he'd done this had been.... Fuck, before he'd even joined Hooli. He'd gotten good at this game over the years, even if it didn't come naturally to him, a few drinks and he was a convincing actor. It got him what he wanted.
What he wanted, was exactly what he was getting right now. Back pressed against the bathroom wall, legs wrapped around a strangers (did he say his name was Charles? Charlie? God not important right now) waist, tongues mixing together desperately.
They both came at almost the same time, half collapsing against the wall they were leaning on. Charles/Charlie grinned down at him, making sure he didn't fall down as he stood on his own two feet again. They were fixing themselves up in the mirror when he turned to Richard.
"Wanna switch numbers?" He asked. Richard startled, biting his lip as he looked up at him.
"I, uh, thought we were just doing a hookup."
"Oh, yeah, we are. But if you find yourself single, lonely and desperate, well, you're a good fuck. Fuck buddies without the buddies." Charles/Charlie answered, holding out his phone. Richard pursed his lips, the guy was nice, and crush on Jared or not, he was very often single, lonely and desperate. He smiled and nodded, holding out his own phone and typing his name and number into (ah, it was Charlie) Charlie's contacts.
Charlie winked at him as they traded phones back, leaving him behind to finish cleaning up. Richard went back to work on the really fucking stubborn mark on his shirt, when someone bolted into the room and started throwing up in the nearest toilet they found. He frowned, debating with himself, but when no one came in to check on them, he decided on trying to help.
"Hey, uhh, are you okay?" He called through the stall door, his hand shaking by his side.
"Yup. Uh-huh. Totally fine, I'll be fine. Thanks." They answered, but that wasn't a drunk voice, that was a panic attack voice.
"Are you having trouble breathing?"
"I- I-"
"Look, I get panic attacks too, so I've got a whole bag of tricks you can try. Just breathe with me now, okay? In, two, three, four, out, two, three, four. In, two, three, four, out, two, three, four..." He continued on for a little while, silently thanking Jared for doing this with him so many times he could use the same technique, until he heard their breathing slowly even out.
Richard was faced with a woman when the door opened, who gave him an embarrassed smile.
"Sorry about that."
"Don't even worry about it. You wanna go sit outside?"
"Yeah, thank you."
He led her outside, standing close by while she got her wits about her again.
"God, I'm really sorry about this."
"No- uh, it's fine. Really. I wasn't doing anything important. Are you alright, though? Do you need help getting anywhere?"
"No, once I've calmed down I should be fine. I'm Winnie, by the way."
"Richard."
They smiled at each other, before Winnie pulled out her phone and sighed.
"I... I got a text from my parents. One of the usual 'when are you gonna settle down with a man' spiels, which normally I can handle, but getting one while I was in there... I just. I know they wouldn't... You know..."
"Yeah, I know." Richard nodded, running a hand through his hair.
"I just- I wish I could just get a fake boyfriend, to get them off my back for a while."
"I'll do it."
"What?" Winnie asked him incredulously, but the idea cogs in his brain were already turning.
"Yeah! If you really want, I'll totally be your fake boyfriend. Most of the people I know think I'm straight, and the one who does know has been my best friend since we were kids, he's kept my secret before, he'll do it again. We don't have to do it for long, just a few weeks to get them off your back. It could totally work."
Winnie was chewing on her lip, but she looked interested.
"You sure this friend of yours will keep quiet?" She asked hesitantly.
"I'm positive." Richard answered confidently. She seemed to debate for a bit longer, then let out a long sigh.
"Can we meet for lunch and sort out our stories?"
"Yeah, of course, I'll give you my number."
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Richard had forgotten how easy it was to fool straight people.
The whole time he'd been 'showing off' Winnie to the guys, he felt like he was betraying her. He was way too awkward, way too not interested to be believable in any way. Instead, they ate it up. They made fun of how awkward he was, but they fully believed he was a hopeless straight guy. It felt like high school all over again, especially when he'd catch Bighead sending him smirks and smug looks whenever they talked about his 'relationship' with Winnie.
It wasn't for long though, he knew. Soon enough, Winnie was coming to him to sort out their 'break-up' story. She kept coming up with wilder and wilder stories, overthinking everything until Richard had to take over.
"Listen, it's okay. We'll put it on me. Everyone thinks I'm pretty hopeless, so I'll pick a pet peeve of mine and I'll blow up about it, way out of proportion for normal people. You end it because you can't deal with me. That's all we have to do. You'll be just fine."
Winnie let out a deep breath, closing her eyes.
"Thank you, Richard." She murmured, squeezing his arm. Richard just shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck.
"It's the least I can do."
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"Dude, your girlfriend broke up with you because you couldn't let fucking spaces go! Fucking spaces!"
"Well- tabs are easier, and more efficient!"
"You'd be better off dating Bighead."
"Don't bring me into this."
"You don't have to do this, Richard."
"I just heard, what the hell did you do, Hendricks?!"
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Richard sighed, dropping himself onto the couch, only moving to lift his feet so Bighead could sit, placing them in his lap once he had. Bighead silently handed him a pack of gummy bears, then clicked play on the Ducktales DVD they had set up. They were both quiet, Richard's thoughts a thousand miles away as he chewed on the candy, Bighead rubbing his thumb over Richard's ankle.
"The game isn't as fun as it used to be." Richard muttered about three episodes in, staring at the blue bear in his hand as if it might give him the answers he wanted.
"You could just tell them." Bighead offered, not letting up from the others ankle. A secret calming spot you had to know Richard inside and out to find.
"How bad at being straight do I have to be?! I've called guys attractive in front of them, I've checked guys out, hell, I even told Gilfoyle about our prom date and none of them have figured it out! I 'broke up' with Winnie over differing coding opinions! I could literally write gay on my forehead in capital letters and I still doubt they'd get it!" Richard sighed as he finished his tirade, throwing an arm over his eyes.
Bighead frowned, tilting his head slightly before poking Richard's leg.
"What's this really about?" He asked.
"What?"
"This isn't what's really bothering you. I know you. Spill, or I'll confiscate your candy." He threatened, squeezing the others ankle. Richard sighed, but pushed himself up onto his elbows.
"I may... Be starting to fall in love with Jared." He admitted, chewing on his lip.
Bighead grinned and punched Richard's shoulder lightly.
"Dude, tell him! It's obvious Jared likes you too! You should totally go for it!" He enthused, already thinking up date ideas Richard would inevitably ask him for. Richard was shaking his head, laying back so he was looking at the ceiling.
"Jared's like that with everyone." He sighed.
Bighead huffed in annoyance, crawling up so he was laying over his best friend.
"Richie, he's not like that with everyone. Yes, he's a good dude and is nice to everyone, but he doesn't blush when anyone else gives him attention, he doesn't automatically bring everyone else a drink whenever he gets up to get his own- unless they ask but that's not the point. He doesn't go on and on and on about how wonderful, smart and brilliant anyone else is. He's generous with compliments, but it's really something else when it's you. You gotta trust me here, Richie. Don't you trust me? Don't you trust me? Trust me? Trust me? Trust me?"
His repetition had the intended effect, Richard laughing at his antics, relaxing and casually swatting at him.
"Yes, yes, of course I trust you." Richard answered, smiling fondly as Bighead sat up again.
"Good. Then you'll give it a shot?" He challenged. Richard let out a breath, nodding slowly.
"Not just yet, but yeah."
"Awesome!" Bighead grinned, shifting them both so they were sitting up and he had his arm looped around Richard's shoulders.
"Now we can actually watch the show. Pass me the gummy bears." He asked, making grabby hands until Richard complied.
Richard leaned into Bighead's side, his head resting on his shoulder as they shared the pack of candy.
"Thanks Nels." He murmured softly, smiling as Bighead squeezed him closer.
"Anytime, Richie."
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The guys were acting weird. Weirder than they normally were anyway. They kept sending him odd looks, smirking at something that wasn't him, whispering together in another room. Richard tried not to let it bother him, but there was only so much of this he could take.
"What is it?!" He snapped around four o'clock, which was way longer than he expected to last. Dinesh and Gilfoyle shared a look, before Gilfoyle turned to him.
"Winnie posted something on Facebook you might want to look at."
Richard frowned at them, but nevertheless pulled out his phone and opened up the app, clicking until he got to Winnie's profile.
"I can't keep this a secret anymore. I'm gay, and this is my girlfriend."
The linked picture had Winnie kissing another woman's cheek, the woman beaming. It was sweet, and Richard sent through an 'I'm proud of you' in her private messages.
"Well?" Dinesh said impatiently, making Richard look up.
"Well what?" He asked, not knowing what the other wanted from him.
"She's gay." Dinesh pointed out.
"So?"
"After dating you."
"O.... Kay?"
"Dude, you turned your girlfriend gay!"
Richard sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. He was really tired of Dinesh's casual homophobia, but he didn't want to deal with that right now.
"I didn't turn her gay." He stressed, turning back to his computer. He saw Dinesh start taking a drink and forced a straight face as he then added.
"I was her beard."
As hoped, Dinesh choked. There was a clatter behind him as Erlich dropped his phone, even Gilfoyle froze to just blink at him.
"Gummy?" Bighead offered, holding out his packet.
"Thanks." Richard smiled, taking a small handful and throwing one in his mouth.
"Richard! You're gay?! Since when?!" Erlich demanded, shock written all over his face. Richard laughed, running his free hand through his hair.
"Uh, since always? I figured out you all thought I was straight when Jared told us he was bi, and I'll be honest, it was hilarious. I tried to see what it would take for you guys to catch on but you never did. Then I met Winnie and she needed a fake boyfriend so I said I'd do it. Even after we broke off over coding opinions, though tabs are better than spaces, none of you seemed to get that I just don't like women."
The three of them seemed too shocked to do or say anything, just staring at him slack jawed while Bighead subtly took photos. Jared, ever the HR manager, was smiling his soft smile, his eyes shining as he looked at Richard.
"We're all very glad you could tell us, Richard. We appreciate how difficult it can be." He said gently, so gently Richard couldn't help but look over and smile at him fondly.
"Thank you, Jared."
Bighead offered Jared some gummy bears, but smacked Erlich's hand away when he tried to take some.
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Something just felt wrong. Ever since he'd come out to the guys two weeks ago, something had just been... Different. Not a good different. He couldn't quite place what it was though.
Jared came by with a cup of tea and a reminder that he should go to bed soon, and that's when it hit Richard. Jared hadn't touched him in two weeks. No hands on his shoulders, no taps to get his attention, no feet resting on top of each other under the table. Nothing. The realisation made him feel sick to his stomach, texting Bighead in a panic over what it could mean.
He didn't necessarily feel relaxed after the conversation, but at least he was no longer panicking, which was something.
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"Hey JJ." Bighead smiled as he entered the kitchen, watching the other put together a pot of tea.
"Oh, hello, Nelson. Would you care to join me?" Jared asked, easily returning the smile.
"Sure thing." He answered, sitting where the other invited him too.
Bighead surprised Jared by not putting any sugar in his tea, just a bit of milk, and the man grinned when he saw the expression.
"My nan taught me to drink tea, and she refused to let me turn it into a 'sugary monstrosity'." He explained, shrugging one shoulder. Jared smiled and nodded, sipping on his own drink.
"I watched the cartoon you suggested, and you were right when you said it was excellent. I absolutely adore it."
"Oh my god, you did? Old twins or young twins?"
"Oh, definitely Dipper and Mabel."
The two sat together discussing plot points, characters and theories for most of the afternoon, sharing tea and biscuits with the odd embarrassing story of Richard thrown in for giggles. Friendship between them had always been hopelessly simple. Tea drinking afternoons would be added to the list of things they do together easily, and maybe cartoon marathons based on Jared's reaction to Gravity Falls.
He didn't want to spoil the light mood they'd created, but Bighead knew he had to. Sighing softly, he placed his cup down and ran a hand through his hair.
"Listen JJ, I know you probably have good reason, but Richie's noticed you don't touch him anymore. Like, casual displays, and he's kinda freaking out about it."
Jared bit his lip, fiddling his thumb with the lip of his cup.
"Oh, I didn't mean to make him worry." He murmured, his leg starting to bounce with nerves.
"I know. Look, you don't even have to bring it up, just, start doing it again. Once he gets used to stuff it's hard for him to let them go." Bighead said, gently nudging the shin that wasn't moving with his foot.
"Why did you stop, anyway?"
Jared glanced away, his cheeks going pink.
"I- uh... I didn't want him getting the wrong idea. Or rather the... Right... Idea." He mumbled, the blush spreading all the way to the tips of his ears and down his neck. Bighead resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. And people call me an idiot. Instead he tapped a finger on the table.
"I'd go for it if I were you. Even if you don't, which you should, just start being close with him again. He hasn't texted me this much since he first left for college." He suggested, smiling softly as he poured the last of the tea into their cups.
"Now, as for longer running cartoons, I suggest Adventure Time or Steven Universe."
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Richard was frowning down at his laptop, standing at the kitchen counter when a hand landed on his shoulder. He glanced up, feeling jittery when he saw it was Jared, going back to his problem with a smile. The room was quiet except for the sounds of tea making and the clacking of keyboard keys.
There was another hand on his back as Jared placed a cup of tea down in easy reach, and Richard could still feel the phantom presence of it as he made to walk back out to the main room.
"Jared- wait." Richard blurted out, made momentarily brave by tingles.
"Yes?" Jared replied, always ready to help.
Richard faltered for just a moment, but took a deep breath and made himself continue.
"Would you- uh. Would you like to go to dinner with me?" He asked, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. Jared's answering smile was blinding, wide and bright as he clasped his cup with two hands in his excitement.
"Oh Richard, I'd love to."