Work Text:
Tanith realizes that she hadn't given the situation nearly enough thought when Charlie makes a startled noise in the middle of sex, his eyes opening. He says, "Meryl," and Tanith stares at him, her heart aching, and then she realizes that he's saying that he dropped his shields, that Meryl is inside his head.
She reaches up, presses her hand to Charlie's face, and says, "Hi, Meryl." Charlie jerks against her, clearly not expecting that, and she smiles before pulling him down to kiss her.
She should have thought about it before, she realizes after Charlie has fallen asleep beside her. She strokes a hand over his curls gently and hums to herself. Of course it could happen. Charlie and Meryl are close, even closer than Ben and Tanith had been, and their bond isn't as old or as practiced as the one she'd had.
Meryl calls Tanith in the morning and says embarrassedly, “Sorry about that, I didn’t realize you two would be – you know.”
Tanith presses her lips into a tight line to keep from laughing. She breathes in quick through her nose and says before she can rethink it, “What was it like?”
There’s a shocked silence on the other end, and then Meryl laughs incredulously. “I think you spent too much time with Johnny in Vancouver,” Meryl tells her, but there’s nothing accusing there. “Uh, I don’t know. I mean, you know what it’s like, right?”
“No,” Tanith says. “It never happened.”
“Seriously? In the, what, nine years you were bonded, you never accidentally butted in on him having sex or masturbating or anything?” Meryl sounds disbelieving.
“Nope,” Tanith answers. “Ben and I – we were pretty good at shutting each other out when we weren’t practicing. We – we’re close, but not like you and Charlie.” She doesn’t know what it’s like to be bonded to anyone else, but Ben’s voice had been only a faint presence in her mind even when they had skated. They had never delved into each other’s heads; they had kept their lives and minds separate.
“Oh,” Meryl says softly. “I thought – I thought you guys were closer than that.”
“I think it was different for us. We’re just – we’re not like you guys.” Tanith rubs her face as Charlie stirs next to her.
“You’re talking to Meryl?” Charlie asks, which is a little freaky.
“Hi, Charlie,” Meryl says and she goes quiet, as if listening. Tanith looks over at Charlie, who has a look of faint concentration that she recognizes from when he talks to Meryl. She abruptly feels very shut out, out of place.
Tanith invites Meryl out with them to dinner a few weeks later, despite her own misgivings. She does genuinely like Meryl, she really does. It’s just – she can’t help but feel like the third wheel around them because Charlie and Meryl don’t even need to talk most of the time, they just look at each other and laugh.
She understands, now, how Evan felt when they had dated. She hadn’t thought anything of dipping in to say hello to Ben every now and then, and she hadn’t really understood how Evan felt when he had asked her to not do it when they were together.
She doesn’t want to ask Charlie not to talk to Meryl, though; to them, it’s like breathing, and she could never ask him to give up his best friend for her. No way.
Meryl makes an obvious and concerted effort to speak out loud to Charlie during dinner, and tells a bunch of crazy stories about her family until Tanith is laughing despite her normal reserve, clutching at her sides.
Charlie excuses himself to go to the bathroom before dessert comes and Meryl leans in. “So I never answered your question,” she says and Tanith furrows her brow, confused. Meryl grins. “When you asked what it was like, eavesdropping on you guys.”
“Oh!” Tanith says, feeling a little embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“No, it’s all right. If I didn’t know what it was like, I would be curious, too.” Meryl lays a hand on Tanith’s, eyes wide and earnest. “Do you still want to know?”
Tanith narrows her eyes at Meryl until Meryl cracks and starts laughing, unable to hold a serious face for that long. “Actually,” Tanith says, “yes.”
Meryl sobers and glances around to be sure that people aren’t listening to them. She leans in and says, “It’s like you’re watching and you’re part of it at the same time. You can feel it, like an echo.”
Tanith tries to imagine what that’s like, but finds she has no frame of reference whatsoever. “That’s…” She trails off, not able to find the right word.
“Weird?” Meryl suggests with an arched eyebrow. “Freaky?”
“Kind of hot,” Tanith decides and Meryl chokes on her water, startled. “You – do you want my permission to ‘eavesdrop’ whenever you want?”
“What?” Meryl asks just as Charlie makes his way back to their table. He’s frowning, which means he caught at least part of the conversation. “Seriously? Um.”
Tanith turns her hand palm up so that Meryl’s fingers lace with hers. “If Charlie’s okay with it.”
“If I’m okay with what?” Charlie asks curiously and Meryl looks to Tanith, silently asking permission. Tanith nods and Meryl looks up at Charlie, no doubt showing him their whole conversation. Charlie sits down and settles his hand atop theirs. “You girls,” he says, shaking his head. “I never know what’s coming.”
After that, Tanith can always tell when Meryl stops by Charlie’s head for a visit, because he jerks a little and then says, “Hi, Tanith,” before kissing her. Tanith wonders sometimes if the kiss is an apology from Charlie for the weirdness of it all or if it’s a kiss from Meryl.
She kind of hopes it’s the latter.
Meryl comes over for movie night one Friday and curls up on the other end of the couch, tucking her feet underneath her and adjusting her loose sweatshirt. Tanith, wrapped in Charlie’s arms, can’t help thinking that Meryl looks awfully lonely. She scoots out of Charlie’s grip, towards Meryl, and puts her arm around Meryl. After a startled moment, Meryl leans into her.
Halfway through the film, Tanith gives into her curiosity and turns Meryl’s face towards hers. Charlie is half-asleep on the end of the couch, watching the film with a vague look on his face. Meryl blinks up at Tanith, confused, and then Tanith kisses her, relishing in that she’s able to surprise Meryl. Tanith likes surprising people.
Meryl makes a startled noise and Tanith hears Charlie jerk upright behind them. Tanith grins and pulls Meryl closer, feeling Charlie’s hand creep around her waist.
“What are we doing?” Meryl asks when they part for air, her eyes wide.
“You and Charlie, you’re a package deal,” Tanith says. “I get that. And I am perfectly happy with that.”
“Really?” Charlie blurts out, startled. “You don’t – I don’t know, feel left out?”
“Of course I do,” Tanith says, “at times. But that’s just one aspect.” She smiles up at Charlie, tilting her head back. “I can still surprise you.”
“I like surprises,” Meryl says quietly, clinging to Tanith’s hands. She and Charlie are staring at each other, obviously talking quickly. To her surprise, Tanith finds that she doesn’t mind not being in the loop.
“Maybe,” Charlie starts, talking a little faster than usual, “maybe, if this doesn’t implode or end, maybe once Meryl and I retire, we can see if – if we can add you in.” He looks at Meryl, who nods. “Nothing to say we can’t.”
Tanith smiles and leans against Charlie, coaxing Meryl up to lie against her. She doesn’t want to say that she prefers the privacy of her own mind, because there is something nice about having someone always there for you. “Maybe,” she agrees.
Meryl purrs and pushes her head into Tanith’s hand, blinking her eyes sleepily. “I think that’s a good plan.”