Chapter Text
Rain is not only drops of water
It’s the love of sky for Earth.
They never meet each other
But send love in this way. (1)
(The sixth month of the year 1515, Maisan)
The Prince arrives at the temple with six of his ladies in waiting and his faithful attendant Eunuch Park early in the morning. It was a four-day travel from the Capital. Despite the warmth of the sun, the journey has been serene for the prince, though he doubts the same for his retinue. The heat has been intense for the past days and he's been apologetic to his stewards the moment they stepped out the palace gates. Despite suffering from the heat, all they did was make sure that the prince is comfortable.
A monk welcomes them and helps settle all the possessions they traveled with, guiding them through the small temple and into their temporary chambers for the next weeks. The prince is offered a humble, small room - quite different from the grandiose of his palace back in Hanyang. No bed, nor silk sheets, just a thin mattress lay neatly on the floor. Even windows, there are none, except for the door, plaid with hanji, already torn in some parts.
Yet, the prince likes it. It's not every day he can be in a place where no ministers would judge his every move, nor there would be the suffocating presence of his attendants. It is just too much for him even if he grew up and lived in the palace all his life. It’s not every day that he can be an ordinary man, not the Crown Prince of Joseon.
As his retinue finishes all the arrangements for their stay, the prince goes to visit the sanctuary where the rain ritual will be held. It surprises him as he pulls open its doors as it was empty, aside from the wooden altar at the corner where a porcelain vase stands, a branch with green and brown leaves dangling gracefully from its mouth. Covering the walls are windows side by side, lanterns hang in each corner.
“Your Highness, you have arrived.” A deep, yet gentle voice speaks beside him, and the prince finds a young man, bowing in courtesy. The prince only sees the top of the man’s hat but the striking hue within is obvious to him. The other lifts his head as he is acknowledged, and flashes the prince a smile, heart-warming and soft as he pulls off his hat. His eyes are the color of hazel, his hair, a ravishing shade of rose, one that surrounded Kyungsoo’s mother’s garden in the palace, where the prince used to play as a child.
The prince is amazed at how a man could be this… beautiful.
“Ah, yes.” The prince answers back, not before clearing his throat to distract himself from staring longer. The other flashes him another smile, the corner of his eyes crinkled by the stretch.
“My name is Kai, Your Highness.” He bows again. “I will accompany you through the ritual. Please be comfortable.”
“I am pleased to meet you,” the prince replies. “Kai.” Ah, this name. It’s a name he’s never heard of but still, it rolls off his tongue quite… nicely. “What an unusual name you have,” he adds, “but it fits you.” He sputters before he is able to comprehend his thoughts.
Kai chuckles softly. “Thank you, Your Highness.” The prince could’ve sworn he could hear birds chirping in his ear. “I hope you enjoy your stay in this humble temple and may your prayers be heard.” He says with a shy smile. “I shall take my leave. I will see you in the morning.”
Kai turns his heels and walks out the door, and the prince, struck by an unknown force he cannot describe, continues to watch the other’s retreating back, at the lavender hanbok Kai is wearing, donned with flowers fit for his beauty, dancing softly against the wind.
When the prince lays at his temporary chambers that evening, he dreams of a field of flowers bending and moving in the direction of the wind, each bud the color of Kai’s hair, covered in morning dew.
~
The prince is awakened even before the sun has risen in the east. The ritual should start in the second hour after light covers the sky completely.
Waking up in the shabby chamber for the first time feels surreal for him, similar to the strange feelings of his on the first morning after being crowned as Crown Prince. The palace was indeed a cruel place, a den of tigers and lions waiting to devour preys. By work of a miracle, he was spared from the mayhem and a curse that took his younger brothers' lives, and in turn of events, was crowned as heir to the throne, and sat where his elder brother, Prince Seungsoo, son of the late queen, sat almost all of his life.
It was never his intention to be more than what he could have been - just a young prince born of a talented court lady from the Royal Kitchen. Her mother found favor in the King’s eyes and was chosen to be his concubine, eventually his Royal Consort. He loves her dearly, and if only the King had his way, Lady Do would be queen. A new Queen ascended to the throne after the former was charged with treason for plotting the deaths of the other princes in the palace, to protect the crown on her son’s head.
Now the prince has duties to fulfill, and his only wish is that to make his mother and the king, as well as the people of the land, proud; or at least make them believe he is worthy of his place.
Many believe he is undeserving. While the former Crown Prince was from a powerful clan, he is not. But what made it worse is the drought that struck the land after his coronation. The young prince then was questioning the heavens as it seemed displeased of him as the heir. He feared the deposed queen’s words before her death sentence - that Kyungsoo will never be King.
Since then, the land continued to suffer from poverty and hunger, epidemics spread like wildfire in the provinces killing many - all the blame was put on the crown on his head.
Now the people, the ministers and the members of the Royal House expect him to prove himself, and that the heavens approve of his enthronement. They believe it is he who should appease the heavens with a ritual so that it accepts him as the heir to the throne; also so that the heavens send rain for the people’s crops to grow once again, for the land to flourish.
It is a desperate time for his people and their families. It is a desperate time for the prince.
So there he is in that chamber, humbled to his core, without the comfort of the palace and its extravagance of a life. He is a nobody here; not the Crown Prince - only Kyungsoo , the representative of the people to plead with the heavens to give life back to their dying kingdom.
“Your Highness, are you awake?” Eunuch Park’s voice echoes through the room the prince is in, like how it was back in the palace to begin the day. Kyungsoo hums in response, fighting off the sleep that’s still creeping through his senses, as he failed to succumb to it for the past hour because of the persistent thoughts in his head.
Myriad of thoughts fill his head since he woke up; and though he barely remembers the last of his pondering, the dream he had the night before is clear in his memory - the striking color of the flowers in the field. Somehow, the prince looks forward to the ritual as he would be able to see that beautiful shade of rose again.
The tall eunuch, still wearing the same green robes he wore in the palace, comes in with folded clothes on his arms, and waits until the prince stands, to clothe him and officially begin his day.
The prince dons a white ensemble of a hanbok, the simplest he’s worn since young, with its fabric not made of silk but a material thicker and rather simpler. The eunuch lets the prince’s hair loose for the ritual, tying only the upper section into a knot, and the rest combed straight down his back. After a while, Eunuch Park steps back and mutters, “You are ready, Your Highness.”
And Kyungsoo takes it as a signal to take his leave for the sanctuary.
~
When he steps inside the sanctuary, Kai is already there kneeling by the altar. His hair, braided loosely down his back, is decorated with small flowers, white and red, in contrast to the black ensemble he is wearing.
Upon realizing that the prince has arrived, he turns to his side to look at him somehow, and bows his head in greeting, “Your Highness,” acknowledging his presence.
Albeit hesitating, the prince walks to him and kneels by his side, taking careful glances, unsure of what he must do. The head priestess in the palace have rehearsed the ritual with him, but being with Kai strangely felt like it won’t be the same as he was taught.
Kai stares at the porcelain vase on the altar, eyes calm and soft. He looks at peace. It’s the second time Kyungsoo gets to see him and yet, the astonishment he experiences from looking at his features lingers for long. It feels like the first time. He notices the other’s neat, thick brows and hazy hazel eyes, the sharp nose and jaw, his plump pink lips and the sun-kissed skin that looks glorious on him. He could almost believe that Kai was from a different land, if not for the fact that he speaks their language fluently.
It’s a question for a different time because suddenly, Kai looks at him, muttering a question. “What are you praying for?” Kyungsoo realizes he’s been staring at the other as long as Kai did at the altar. A soft smile appears on Kai’s lips as he waits for an answer.
Kyungsoo breaks eye contact, feeling his cheeks flush from being noticed. Since when does he feel intimidated? He’s so used to intimidating his subjects but Kai seems different. All these feelings are foreign to him. Pulling his thoughts together, he confidently stares back at the hazel eyes that draw him in like a spell.
“That the heavens send rain for my people.” He replies. Kai nods at him before shifting his gaze back to the altar. Kyungsoo feels a little change in the air as if something shifted. The air feels thick.
“Is that all you need? Is it really the only thing you came here for?” Kai asks him again.
The prince only nods in response. By all means, it is the reason why he had to leave the palace and come all the way to Maisan, to this temple. “ The drought has been too long. ” He thinks to himself.
“I see.” Kai replies, the disappointment obvious in the tone of his voice; yet Kyungsoo doesn’t catch it, because he is already focused on the task in hand. He begins to stand up from where he knelt and kneels again, repeating until the sun has set, with one thought in his mind - a genuine wish for the heavens to send rain.
It goes on for days - the ritual, or however it must be called as Kai didn’t lead him through a ceremony he expected. On the second day, he stopped Kyungsoo from his prayer, and told him to just sit still, to ponder on the reasons why he was there.
He kneels there in silence each day, from early morning until Kai says it’s over and lets him leave, with Kai left alone in the Sanctuary to finish the ritual.
They never talked following the first day, and Kyungsoo never met him outside the sanctuary, to his curiosity. When he sits there, he focuses on praying to the heavens silently, trying his best to not mind Kai’s presence. And though he tried his hardest, he would always find himself looking, staring.
And during these moments, these subtle glances, Kyungsoo finds himself being drawn to the other, to his mystery and his silence, to the peace Kai undeniably shares with him.
One day though, about three weeks into the ritual, Kai finally speaks to him again.
He doesn’t look at Kyungsoo, but he utters a very familiar question, “What are you praying for, Your Highness?”
His answer doesn’t change. “That the heavens send rain for my people.”
“You come all the way here, four days away from home to ask something as simple as rain, is that it?” Kai replies coldly. “And when the rain comes, then what?”
Kyungsoo stares at him in silence. He never really thought further than that. The land needs rain, but he never looked past it. For the first time, he tries to think harder, to come up with an answer that hopefully, would satisfy the other.
“I came here for the ritual - one that would send rain to the land. So that the people may be able to farm and feed their families. They can trade once again, the market will be alive, and the people will be happy.”
Kai shifts from kneeling to sit cross-legged, and faces him. “So what is it you ultimately want then? Is it the rain? Or that people have food? Or that they be happy?”
Kyungsoo finally replies with confidence upon Kai’s attention on him. “That they be satisfied with their life under my father’s rule. But more than that, I pray that they accept me as his heir, and they believe I was chosen by the heavens, too, or at least I did enough that the heavens listened to my plea; that I moved the heavens for them.”
Finally, after weeks of stoic and empty looks, a smile appears on Kai’s lips. Kyungsoo’s chest lightens at the sight of it, taking a deep breath. He swears he could smell the sweetest scent of flowers.
“I pray that the heavens hear your plea.” Kai mutters. He stands up from where he sits, and Kyungsoo notices a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, how the other softly bites on his lips and how he suddenly was struggling to look back at him. Kai manages to bow to hide the struggle, folding his hands together, hiding them in the sleeves of his black hanbok.
“Is there something wrong? Please tell me.” The prince asks, uneasy. Deep inside, he is afraid Kai would go back to giving him the cold shoulder. Kai shakes his head and instantly lifts his eyes to look down on him. Kyungsoo mutters breathless, “I’d rather hear your thoughts than be kept in the silence.”
Softly, Kai replies, “I was wondering if…” he stutters, taking a deep breath, “if you’d like to stay until I finish the ritual.”
With an invitation like that, the prince couldn’t say no. He does stay, of course, and he finds more reasons to be amazed; because that evening, when the sun is almost setting in the west and the sky got darker, Kai danced.
He danced like a delicate flower carried by the wind; like water running gracefully through rivers but as vigorous as it falls down violent waterfalls. His long arms extended like wings of a crane dancing for their mates, that the sleeves cannot hide the lean muscles within. His shoulders and back bend like that of branches dancing in the strong wind while his feet slid across the floor like he floated on air. The more he spins, the prince’s eyes focused more; the more he dances, the deeper he is drawn.
Kyungsoo realized the fact that Kai is more beautiful than nature, as if he is nature itself and that he can't help but be pulled into his presence.
Kyungsoo, in his trance, finds himself walking to the other, catching the extended arm mid-turn and when Kai stops in surprise, he pulls him close, not caring for anything. He traces his fingers from the roots of the other’s pink hair and let his fingers run down, the loosening the braids, the flowers decorating Kai’s hair falling to the floor. The prince notices now how the other is a head taller than he is and that in his most humble state, this man, Kai , his beauty, grace - all of him - is beyond him.
Unbothered by the proximity, Kai whispers to his ear, “What are you praying for, Your Highness?”
Inebriated by his pull, the prince whispers back, “That I find happiness, too.” Kyungsoo stares back with glassy eyes, with his breath hitching and chest pounding, all the while Kai leans down, lips touching his in a soft, chaste kiss.
“The heavens shall listen to you, Your Highness.” Kai whispers against Kyungsoo’s lips as he pulls away. The prince stands there undone and is filled with such bizarre thoughts of longing and want; but what wakes him up from the trance is the sound of soft drips and splatters.
In the serene sanctuary, the sound of droplets meeting soil echoes louder and louder as moments pass.
The rain has come at last.
Eunuch Park comes rushing into the sanctuary with joyful eyes, his hair and robes soaked in the rain they are all waiting for.
“Your Highness! It's raining!” The eunuch mutters as if it was not obvious by the view beyond the doors, where the attendants are already dancing in the rain, arms in the air and hands clapping in joy.
Kyungsoo, himself, can't contain his joy that he pulls Kai into his arms in an embrace, feeling the other chuckling, shoulders shaking against his body. “Your pure heart moved the heavens. Your prayers were heard, Your Highness,” Kai whispers against his ear, circling his arms around the prince as well, an arm flat on Kyungsoo’s back while the other pulls strong around his waist drawing him closer.
The prince has never been embraced like this his whole life until now. He is royalty after all; but in this man's arms, it didn't matter - he was no prince.
“Kyungsoo. My name is Kyungsoo.” The prince whispers in joy and a grateful heart, embracing Kai tighter. “Thank you, Kai.”
~
The two continue to spend time in the sanctuary for more days, for one, one night of rain is not enough. They have to continue praying for more. The second reason would be the prince growing fond of watching the other dance as the light outside fades away until it is only the fire flickering from the lanterns that lights the room. By then, Kai’s silhouette dancing in the dim lights offers the prince solace; the prince wanting to bask in that special moment a while longer. They sit there morning until afternoon, until Kai finishes the day with the dance Kyungsoo already grew familiar with.
On the seventh day since the first rain, the prince walks out of his chambers only to find Kai standing outside the door, dressed in a blue hanbok, a shade that is similar to the colour of the sea. Kyungsoo felt underdressed as he only wore the ensemble for the ritual.
As if hearing his thoughts, Kai chuckles. “You may want to wear something else, Your Highness. I was thinking of taking you to see the nearby town. I think we deserve rest after six nights of rain.” He looks excited as a child even under the shadow of his hat, yet his features look more mature than his own, Kyungsoo notices. He used to think that he looks strong and regal, but next to Kai, he looks rather common.
Kyungsoo can only nod in response, albeit feeling an unusual excitement. He hastily walks back into his room, calling for Eunuch Park to ready him more suitable clothes. Once done, he is just in a slightly darker shade of blue than of Kai’s, his hair tied into a topknot, with his hat secured with a knot on his chin.
When he walks out again, Kai is already atop a horse, fingers clutching onto the reins.
“Shall we go?” He asks with a sheepish smile. Kyungsoo looks around and waits for an attendant to bring him his horse but no one seems to be coming. “Come on now, Crown Prince,” Kai teases, “The sun isn't going to wait for us.” He offers his hand with a slight grin on his face. “Hop on.”
The unexplainable feeling bubbles once again in Kyungsoo's chest. Without a second thought, he takes the other’s hand and lets him pull him up. Back against chest, an arm around his waist while the other hand holding on the reins, it feels too intimate.
He feels Kai’s breath on his nape as they go on their journey, and the warmth against his back makes him even more conscious of the heavy feeling in his chest being this close to Kai. He is unsure of what to make of it, but one thing is for sure, Kyungsoo is happy like this, close to him, close to Kai.
They ride down the mountain and arrive at the outskirts of the nearest town, and the prince notices the smiles on the people's faces as they greet each passerby. It becomes livelier as they go further into the town proper. Kai leads them to one stable run by some noble in town, and there have their horse taken care of so they can walk around the town for a while.
They walk along the streets, not as crowded as those in the capital, but still as busy as the markets back in Hanyang. Children play happily in the puddles of water from the rain of the night before, and men walk through the streets with baskets on their back filled with herbs. Kyungsoo watches merchants’ faces light up seeing the mass of customers stopping by their stalls. Not a week has gone but the immediate effect of the rain is already obvious.
“My Lord! Please take a look at my things! You may find something you like!” One merchant screams happily at the two while waving his hand; and Kyungsoo, seeing the colourful variety of items on the said merchant’s cart, pulls Kai with him to the street corner where the merchant is.
“Ah, my Lord, you don't seem to be from here.” The merchant mumbles. He looks at Kai with a slight bow and his eyes widen in surprise. “You visited, my Lord. How long has it been?”
Kai chuckles at that, nodding casually to the merchant. “It's been a while, yes. My friend here is from the capital.” He says as he looks at Kyungsoo. “We are seeing the town for a while. How's business in the last few days, Minseok?”
“It's been great, my Lord.” Minseok beams. “The previous years were rough. I had to stay in the capital for months in a year to sell, to be able to feed my family. This town was almost deserted but thanks to the rain, we were able to run back here with our families. The market ran two days after the first night of rain and all the people are so happy, my Lord.” The merchant replies excitedly.
Kai nods with a satisfied look on his face. “That's great to hear, Minseok. Anyway, what do you have for me?” He eyes the items on the cart and the merchant does as well.
“My Lord,” the merchant winces, “what can I offer to a man like you? You have everything.” Minseok shyly murmurs then looks at Kyungsoo, “but for you my Lord, I have items for you to remember this place by when you return to the capital.”
He looks down his cart and ogles for a while, probably contemplating what would he offer to someone like Kyungsoo, having no idea what kind of a man he is. His cart is filled with ornaments made of shells and pearls bracelets and chain rings that women would definitely love. On one side, pouches and brooches are displayed and on another, colourful hair pins, ribbons and pendants. It's funny how this merchant sells items only for women but still he ponders hard what he would give Kyungsoo.
One that catches the prince’s attention though, is a strip of red silk cloth with strings at the end. He suddenly remembers his mother back when he was younger, before the crown and all. She used to cook for him the most delicious of meals, even preparing a banquet on her own in honour of the prince’s birthday. She would always use that specific ribbon to tie her hair and it looks almost the same as the one in the cart.
Instantly, as if hearing his thoughts, Kai reaches down to the hair tie he is eyeing, tracing a finger over the soft fabric and then, handing it to Kyungsoo.
“Do you like it?” he asks, pointing at the ribbon in Kyungsoo’s hand. The other smiles, letting fabric glide over his palms as he pulls it with his fingers.
“My mother used to wear something like this,” he explains. “This reminded me of her, that's all. She asked me to keep hers after my younger brothers died, a remembrance that I lived.”
“How about this one, my Lord?” Minseok interrupts, handing him the same item but in a different shade. It is in a lighter shade of red much like Kai’s hair, rosy and pale.
“Something to remember me by, I guess?” Kai adds, smirking as he eyes the piece of cloth in the prince's hand. He chuckles lightly as he hands the merchant a silver or two. The prince is about to argue about him buying the item but Kai’s hand is already waving in the air. “Take it as a gift from me, Your Highness.”
He casually looks at Minseok for the last time and slightly bows his head with a finger on his hat and then walks away. “Thank you, my Lords.” The merchant says as he bids goodbye. Kyungsoo quickens his pace to match with Kai’s long but slow strides ,and they walk through the street a little longer, stopping by a few more stalls. They walk side by side in comfortable silence. Be it his imagination, but sometimes, the prince would catch Kai’s hazel orbs looking at him, but more often, unknown to the prince, it is him being caught looking at the other.
When the breeze started to grow colder and blow harsher, making their robes flutter, Kai suggested they travel back to the temple.
~
It is almost sunset when the two reach the temple in the mountains, and a horde of uniformed men are loitering in the temple grounds, talking among themselves animatedly. Court ladies are there as well, talking among themselves, smiling as they talk to Kyungsoo’s personal attendants.
Kyungsoo jumps down from the horse as Eunuch Park runs to them, grinning, not before bowing to greet Kai as well. “Your Highness, you have returned. You are summoned back to the palace.”
“Is that so?” Kai murmurs, pushing himself to the side, to jump to Kyungsoo’s side. Kai looks at him, waiting for any reaction.
Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do, or to think. Still, the smile on his eunuch’s face disturbs him. “You look more excited than I should, Eunuch Park. I didn’t expect to go back too soon.” He says with a hint of disappointment in his voice.
Noticing the prince’s troubled voice, Eunuch Park quickly bows in apology. “Your Highness, this place doesn’t suit you.” He explains. “The Crown Prince must be in the palace where he belongs. You have done your task well in this temple, Your Highness. The King orders you go back.” The Eunuch finally retreats and goes on his way back to the prince’s chambers, completing the arrangements for their leave.
The prince sighs. Going back to that chaotic place would be much more dangerous for him now. Through the rain, he has proven he is worthy of his title, but it only means that his life is much more at risk. His position as Crown Prince may have strengthened because people will believe that the heavens approve of him, yet the more power he has, the more people would threaten him.
If not for the responsibility on his head and the greater future ahead, he would opt to stay there in the temple, where it is serene. He was never at peace in the palace.
Besides, if he leaves now, he’d leave Kai behind. There’s just no place for him the capital, and it will endanger them both if word gets out that the prince favors a shaman in the mountains of Maisan. It would ensue chaos. He just can’t do that to this Father.
Strangely, Kai pulls his hand and warmth seeps through the gaps of Kyungsoo’s fingers, and only then the prince realizes that the other has intertwined their fingers. “I knew our time will be short, and that you won’t stay for long. Please remember me when it rains.”
“I’d like to stay longer.” The prince mutters. “If only it would rain, just for a few hours to delay my journey.”
Kai chuckles as he nods, telling him he wishes the same.
The prince remembers the first night it rained. He remembers Kai in his black hanbok, hair braided with flowers, dancing beautifully. If only-
“Will you dance for me then? Before I leave?” The prince inquires. “Maybe the heavens would answer my wish one last time.”
“Of course, Your Highness.” Kai lets go of his hands and begins to make way for the sanctuary. They walk through the crowd, while the prince follows, earning bows of greeting from the royal guards and the court ladies, but the prince’s mind is concentrated on the man whose back is slowly getting further away, almost gone as Kai opens the door to the sanctuary.
“Your Highness,” a man suddenly kneels in front him, halting Kyungsoo from his dazed walk. “I am General Kim. My men and I will escort you back to the capital.”
“Give me an hour before we leave. Wait until I come out of the sanctuary and let no one in.” He commands.
The general bows, “As you wish,” finally retreating back to his post.
Kyungsoo’s chest tightens with varying emotions of fear, joy, and sadness. Somehow, learning that he will part with Kai made the air in his lungs feel thick and heavy. For the many reasons why he wants to stay longer, he cannot just point which one is the main motive to stay. Figuring he won’t find answers anyway, he reaches down the ring handles of the door and helps himself in, and closing them behind him.
Kai stands there waiting.
“Your Highness.” He greets, bowing, with a playful smile ever on his lips. With the time the two spent together, the prince only wishes for Kai to treat him like this - like he is no royalty, like a friend. Knowing that Kai is only playing with him with the fake formalities, he chuckles.
Feeling comfortable, albeit the pounding in his chest, Kyungsoo walks to the other with heavy steps, realizing that every step would mean time is getting shorter for them. His hand reaches to the ribbon on Kai’s chin, pulling them loose, taking his time to take off the hat, and finally dropping them unceremoniously to the floor. Kai turns around and lifts his head, that the prince can reach up to the headband around his head, inviting the prince to untie it for him. Unclipped, the cloth falls down to the floor, and his hair falls down his shoulders elegantly.
It is breathtaking. Being so close to Kai, Kyungsoo notices the strands of his hair are thick as a horse’s mane, but it is soft to touch. Each strand is a different shade of rose, from pale to red to almost white, but collectively, the shade is that of the petals of the flower peony. With deliberate movements, the prince takes comfort in running his fingers through Kai’s hair, untangling some.
Kai suddenly turns around and looks at him with hooded eyes, taking him by surprise as he is pushed down to the floor. Kai leans down on him, his hair falling over his shoulders as Kyungsoo lays uncomfortable with the position and helpless under him. Their gazes fall into each other’s lips and then back to the eyes, but Kai just kneels there, staring and staring, taking in every sight.
“Please, don’t forget me.” He whispers as he leans closer to the prince’s ear. “When the rain falls, I pray you remember me.”
When the first drops of rain echo from the roof, lips found one another, and Kai is kissing him, full of passion and heat, fingers caressing Kyungsoo’s cheeks and down his neck as he deepens the kiss. The prince surrenders as he knows what his body wants, despite his consciousness screaming at him for letting Kai touch him. More than him being touched, he cares for Kai, that if anyone sees, Kai would be killed in an instant. Kyungsoo pulls him closer, not minding the persistent thoughts in his head.
He doesn’t mind. He chooses not to mind. He’ll be leaving. Why should he hold back?
“When will I see you again?” Kai whispers as he breaks the kiss, pulling away just enough so that his hazel eyes can meet Kyungsoo’s round ones.
“I don’t know.” The prince whispers. “Will I be able to see you again?”
Kai, slightly disappointed of his answer, pulls away and sits back down on the floor, pulling the prince up to sit in front him.
“I can’t promise you anything.” Kai murmurs.
“But I will see you again, right?” Kyungsoo asks, hopeful.
Kai, instead, answers with a familiar question. “What are are you praying for lately, Your Highness? Will you plead the heavens that we meet again?”
Kyungsoo isn’t sure. He is hopeful, but at the back of his mind, looking past what they have, there’s just no place for Kai in the Crown Prince’s life. Yet, he answered, “yes,” despite the uncertainty; even if he isn’t sure if he was willing to ask the heavens if he could be with this man and sacrifice so much. “I hope we meet again.” He says.
“Then I will hope so, too, Kyungsoo.” Kai smiles softly, fingers tracing the other’s cheek gently, stopping at the corner of his lips. Kyungsoo notices that Kai just called him by his name. The rain outside suddenly stops falling even before Kyungsoo can ponder, and a knock comes from the outside. Eunuch Park announces that they are ready to leave.
“Thank you, Kai.” Kyungsoo quickly mutters, taking Kai’s hand. They both stand up, before Kai once again kneels in front of him to bow, palms flat on the floor. It is the highest form of respect.
“It was an honour serving you, Your Highness.” He says. He stands up and walks past the prince without a second look, leaving the baffled prince alone, feeling empty and confused.
That night, Kyungsoo began his journey back to the Capital, with no goodbye from Kai.