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There’s a decision to be made in this moment; a decision they’ve been making over and over again over the last— decade? Long enough.
Phil’s a good-looking guy. Phil’s also a great guy. Phil is Dan’s best friend. They work well together as work partners, friends, sort of platonic life partners, and Dan doesn’t really think they wouldn’t work well together romantically, but.
But.
But there is that ugly voice piping up from the depths of his insecurities. What if they do mess up romantically? What if all the societal bullshit gets to them? What if no matter how well they communicate as friends, they can’t manage to keep that up once they add that extra layer? What if that pressure is what finally makes them crack, ends their streak of being closer than two people should be while still liking each other as much as they do?
That’s bullshit, of course, and rationally Dan knows that. They’ve fought plenty, and ugly, and they’re not where they are because of some sort of cosmic good luck, but because they’ve made that choice over and over as well.
Phil’s looking at him calmly, and Dan can’t quite make out if Phil’s already made his decision, and if so which one it is. He’s got that sort of “it’s up to you; I trust you” expression on, which Dan thinks is supremely unfair right now. Dan can’t be the only one to make the decision of where their life heads from this moment on. He’s not sure why this time it’s harder than the others - maybe because he caught Phil’s eye and knew he was thinking the exact same thing he was.
If that’s what we were, I’d kiss you right now.
Usually it happens for Dan when Phil doesn’t notice, and Dan assumes it’s the same for Phil. This mutual recognition of their potential is throwing him off a little.
Maybe. Maybe a decade is long enough. Maybe they can risk a little change.
Heart pounding, stomach somewhere between his knees, Dan leans in, clocks the realisation on Phil’s face, and then that moment where he decides - again? - to let it happen. So, really, it’s not just Dan making the decision. It makes him smile a little, the thought.
Then Phil’s lips are suddenly right there, and he’s touching them. With his own.
Only softly, carefully, as if their friendship hung in crystals all around them and if he moves too quickly he’ll dislodge them and have to hear them crash down to the floor all around them. It wouldn’t be the first time Dan knocks something over because he has no control over his limbs.
But the only thing that happens is that his eyes have fallen shut at some point and Phil kisses him back.
Slowly, Dan’s stomach climbs back up from between his knees, bringing a tingling heat with it, and a gasping breath when he remembers that that’s a thing he needs to do, as well.
Phil chuckles a little at the noise and then lifts a hand to put in the hair at the back of Dan’s skull. It’s all– fuck, it’s all really nice.
Dan tilts his head and quiets the doubt with the touch of Phil’s tongue against his.
Definitely the right choice.
The End