Chapter Text
Three hours ago the “Wild And Gorgeous” group chat came abuzz when Myra Ibrahimovic, sent out a message reading “I need a drink. Let’s have a girl’s night out.” followed by various laughing-crying emojis by her friends all reminding her that they all lived in different countries. Myra replied that she, unlike her other girlfriends, had access to a private jet, which would be picking them up soon, except for Mikaela. Mikaela would be picked up by Myra in car, which Mikaela jokingly demanded that Myra better pick her up in a limousine.
An hour later, there was knocking in Mikaela and David Silva’s front gate to find a black limousine waiting for access by the gates.
“I told you we’re having girls’ night out.” Myra said through the intercom.
“I’m not dressed!” Mikaela replied after letting Myra in her house.
“Well, change clothes and get your makeup kit, you’re putting your face on in the jet. Next stop - La Liga!” Myra declared.
Mikaela quickly private messaged the girls saying Myra wasn’t joking. She was really going to pick them all up and unless they wanted to look less that glam, they better start preparing.
After a quick trip to Barcelona and then Munich, the Ibrahimovic private jet landed in a private airstrip some kilometers from Milan, and there 3 ladies waited for them.
“We’re ready to party!!” Ani Castillo said as she boarded the jet, with Puja Puri and Dia Baez following behind. Inside the girls exchanged kisses and pleasantries with Dr. Alonso-Hummels, or Angie for short; Theo Naidoo, and the two girls from the UK - Mikaela and Myra.
“Well don’t you girls look lovely,” Mikaela said as she stood up greet the girls.
“We were actually going to have aperitivo so, we’ve been ready for a while,” Puja said.
Myra handed out champagne flute to Puja. “Without inviting us?” Myra pouted.
“It’s not my fault we all live in different countries except us. Hey! I had to take a train to get to these two!"
“Find yourself a Milan player boyfriend,” Ani raised her glass at Puja who just frowned at her while Dia just smiled watching the two start up again.
“The train ride is just 1 hour.” Dia said.
“Or I could just find new friends.” Puja said nonchalantly.
“You wouldn’t dare!” Ani cried out, scandalized at the thought. “Would you? Who would I torture then?”
Puja just ignored her.
“Would you?” Ani repeated.
“Enough teasing.” Mikaela said taking pity at Ani’s pouting. “Let’s take some pictures. Isn’t Intagram modeling one of your WAG duties?” Mikaela joked.
The girls spent some time taking pictures in and out of the jet, before deciding what their next destination is.
“So what do you girls say? A night at Ibiza?” Myra asked.
“Too crowded. Also, clubs are filled with horny barely 20-year olds trying to get it on with anyone in a skirt.” Angie said.
“Something a little more laid back.” Theo suggested. “We need to get drunk before we do anything crazy.”
The girls chuckled and nodded in agreement.
“The girls and I wanted to do an aperitivo. Milan isn’t that full of student anymore since it’s already August and everyone has fled for picturesque destinations,” Ani explained. “Why don’t we do that?”
“An Aperitivo! You always talk about that.” Myra said.
“Do we need to call and make reservations?” Mikaela asked.
“In Brera? I remember that was a beautiful area.” Myra reminisced of her time in Milan.
“No need to make reservations,” Ani said. “Brera is beautiful but it’s also for the rich and snobby.”
“Hey!” Myra complained.
“Just kidding girl!” Ani was quick to say and laugh. “Let me take you somewhere a little more....normal.”
An hour later the girls were walking in the midst of a relatively small crowd for the area of Moscova, a usually hot den for university students looking for cheap alcohol.
“Navigli is good, but I think it is a little overrated.” Ani said as she waved to a guy and he ran to welcome them.
“Ciao!” The guy greeted them. “Your place is ready.”
“Grazie Mauro!” Ani air-kissed him before leading the girls to a vacant table on the sidewalk.
“Well this is cozy.” Angie said. sitting on the metal chair. The girls took seats in a way where Ani and Dia had no other choice but to sit next to each other.
“It’s not the glitziest place but it’s not that bad. They make great aperitivo here and the finger food that comes along is just delish!”
The girls all started telling Ani what they wanted to but she was quick to shake her head. “No no no. We’re having an aperitivo and it’s just right that your drink are of a proper Milanese night. Ci penso io.” Ani offered and the girls shrugged. “Who prefers ginger and who prefers citrus?”
After placing their orders, Mauro comes back with a tray of Moscow Mules and Aperol Spritz with a platter of finger foods including cold cuts, cheese, chips and some vegetarian bruschette.
Ani raised her glass for a toast. “To us!”
“To our boys!”
“And to the upcoming season - May the football gods have mercy on us.”
“Forza Milan!” Ani declared loudly, feeling confident in her own city.
“Juve.” The Puja and Dia murmured and smiled behind their drinks as Ani opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water.
“No no no! Dia! You can’t say that. You’re in a relationship with a Milan player!” Ani whispered loudly making the girls roll their eyes. Here Ani went again trying to convert Dia.
“Just because he plays for them doesn’t mean I’ll cheer for that team.” Dia said, repeating a conversation they have had in the chat for quite sometime now. “If your boyfriend moved to, I don’t know, Chelsea for example.”
Ani made a face at the thought. “Exactly my reaction when Andre told me of this move.” Dia said and the girls laughed at Ani’s frowning. “If Alessio moved to Chelsea, would you support Chelsea?”
“I’d support him.”
“Exactly.”
“But Juventus is - ”
“Legend.” Dia said.
“L-E-6-E-N-D,” Puja spelled.
“And this year it’ll be 7.”
“I mean. I don’t know if we should be talking about 7…” Ani trailed off with a smirk. “Plus. you can’t spell Legend without END.”
“Ok! Enough Serie A banter. You know no one watches that except you three.” Myra teased.
“Hey!”
The girls laughed and shifted the discussion to their daily lives, catching up with each others lives as if they didn’t already talk 24/7 on the chat.
The WAGs chat started as a support group Myra set up for WAGs. She had one of those days where she was the frontpage of a tabloid with the title “Third little Ibrahimovic on the way?” She wasn’t pregnant, she just ate a heavy meal before going shopping for a friend’s baby shower.
The group was initially composed of Myra and Mikaela. Myra and Mikaela met at a derby match in one of the VIP boxes of Manchester United. It took little conversation for the two women to bond over how boring the game was and how poorly both teams were playing. Myra invited Mikaela over after the game but Myra was surprised to be turned down by Mikaela as she had to wait for her ride home, a certain City player that went by David Silva. The two started hanging out more and more, sharing not only daily lives but also the issues of being a WAG as well as their passion for football. David felt a little less enthusiastic about Myra keeping his wife in the United fanclub when he was trying to bring her over the blue side of the city.
Mikaela brought Dr. Angie to their little group, the first WAG outside the Prem. And slowly their group got larger and larger. Another two more girls from the Prem joined, Jessi and Mimi (David was adamant that there be a good City influence in the group of friends, so he heavily approved the friendship between Mikaela and Hart’s girlfriend.). Angie brought in Theo whom she had known back in Dortmund when the South African sport journalist was still on/off dating Roman Burki.
The chat got expanded when Myra brought in Ani to the group, the first non-WAG which prompted the groupchat to change its name from WAGs to Wild And Gorgeous. Myra had seen some freelance work of Ani, which prompted Myra to hire her for a project for a client of hers. They communicated thru emails and somehow they striked a friendship over common interests, including football. All the while Ani was unaware that Myra was the acrual Myra; and when Ani was included in the chat, she was also unaware of the other’s actual identity thinking it was just a groupchat of some female football supporters. So Ani comfortably talked about football and players and her life and most especially about her crush on a certain Italy and AC Milan full back that led them to set said football player and her on a date. It was there that she learned that she was actually talking to real WAGs.
Ani left the group after that night, too embarrassed of the things she said to the girls. Nor did she answer Alessio’s messages or calls after the date. If it wasn’t for him continuously sliding in on her instagram DMs (she couldn’t block him. She still wanted to see his cute dogs on her timeline, or so she claimed) she wouldn’t have given him a second date, nor would she be friends with the girls as it was him telling her he was really happy that her friends set him up with her.
Puja got involved in the chat through Ani. Puja and Ani met in Turin, specifically while Ani was in Turin for a project, months before Ani met any of the WAGs. The two weren’t friends immediately, what with the historic rivalry between the two clubs they supported that carried out to the supporters. It went even more sour when Ani learned that Puja liked Liverpool. Liverpool and Milan just don’t mix. Nevertheless as they continued to banter back and forth on which club is better, they found that they liked each other’s company. So they just decided to never speak of their clubs again - which was near to impossible. The two would bicker at least once a week over it.
Ani brought Puja into the chat after learning of the true identity of the girls, and Puja brought Dia into the group chat last when she learned that Dia was moving to Milan, mostly to give her a support group in her new life.
“You know who I bet is having the time of their lives? Myra!” Theo said. “All injured and indisposed. All of Zlatan’s attention on you.”
“God I don’t remember the last time all of Mats’ attention was on me. I get up to 80% of his attention, 10% is always on food and the rest varies.” Angie said.
“Yeah,” Myra gave an awkward chuckle and started playing with the straw of her nearly empty second drink. “All of his attention...on me. 100%...on me. No one else. But me,” she said in a deadpan tone.
The girls all froze and watched her, trying to read her expression.
“I love my husband. I swear. I do.” Myra was quick to reassure the girls seeing them all looking concerned towards her. “And to have him with me all day is amazing. I love it. I do!”
The girls look at each other. They were not convinced.
“He’s spending too much time with you isn’t it?” Mikaela asked.
“Save me.” Myra squeaked and the girls burst into laughter.
“He’s amazing, I love him.” Myra said frantically. “I love that the family is complete. And all the creative ways we’re finding to have sex safely with his injury but I do not like how he’s always in my office. That’s me space. Even the kids know not to go in there and you know what he did? He decided to have the curtains changed! CHANGED! CURTAINS!”
“Did you not like it?” Dia asked
She shrugged. “They’re ok I guess, but the fact is that he’s changing my space. And when he’s not changing my space! Urgh!” She groaned. “He’s telling me what to do with my work. My work! I know how to design a website. That’s my job. I studied that and I have the brains for that! Who does he think he is. “Myra, wife, I think you need to change the font. The background is too dark. Why don’t we add a song?” Myra imitated poorly her husband’s accent and low voice. “Because songs are distracting as fuck! That’s why we don’t put songs in websites! What is he a 14 year old girl on tumblr?!” Myra vented and then angrily sipped her drink through the straw making loud noises once the drink was gone.
“Another Moscow Mule here.” Ani signaled to Mauro.
“I do love having my husband around but Zlatan can be a pain in the butt!” Myra said and the girls gave her pitying looks. “And I don’t mean it in a sexual way, if you know what I mean,” she ended it with a suggestive wink towards Ani.
“Eeeww Myra! Why do you always have to go that route!” Ani grumbled while the rest laughed. “It always has to turn sexual with you?”
“I have a prime piece of a man in my bed. What can I do. That’s where my mind goes.” Myra smirked while Ani pouted. She may be one of the oldest in the group but she also tended to be the one who would shy away from discussions of sex, unless she has had some drinks. She must not be that drunk yet.
“Why Ani? Isn’t Alessio everything you thought of and more? Should I get Zlatan to give him some tips on how to move his hips.”
“Please someone stop her! I haven’t drunk enough to discuss these things.” Ani said looking around for help. Unlike her friend, Ani still wasn’t the most comfortable talking about her relationship.
When Mauro arrived with Myra’s Moscow Mule Ani took it and sipped some.
“Hey!” Myra complained seeing her friend sip her drink.
“Speaking of Alessio…” Theo trailed off hoping Ani would finally tell them more about her and Alessio.
Ani played with the straw of her drink. “You girls don’t want to hear me talk about Alessio anymore. Come on.” Ani laughed awkwardly.
While Ani may have forgiven the girls for hiding their true identity from her in the beginning and setting her up with her dream guy; she still felt a little embarrassed about her remarks on Alessio when she only had a crush on him from afar that she kept her relationship with Alessio quite private.
“Oh come on Ani! Tell us how it’s going with Alessio.” Myra pouted. “We won’t apologize for setting you up with him. I just knew you and him would hit it off, and see! I was right. You know about our relationships, come on share with us what’s it like finally dating your dream guy.”
Ani sighed and smiled at hem. “It’s so embarrassing! I love you girls but I still feel so embarrassed about how I used to tell you girls how much I thirst over this guy.”
The girls waved away her concerns.
“So, he really is everything you thought he was?” Mikaela asked.
Ani bit her lip and nodded, a smile on her lips.
“See! Dating a younger man isn’t that bad.” Theo said and Ani laughed remembering how she used to complain how Alessio was born just a few years too late.
“Don’t make me sound like a cradle snatcher,” Ani said fanning herself. “Sometimes I feel like he’s older than me. He’s a voice of reason when I’m having one of my stressed out meltdowns. He reminds me to eat and take a break when I’m so focused on work. He never stops making me feel loved and special.” Ani shares with a distant look, and a smile on her lips. “And then I open his IG stories and wonder what the fuck I got myself into,” Ani said with a smile. “But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
“Don’t judge me! I’m not a cradle snatcher!” Ani said.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure we all have our own crushes on younger guys,” Myra said. “Let me be the first to share - Marco. Asensio.” She said and there was a murmur going around the table. Not of judgement or reproach but rather agreement.
“That kid is gorgeous! If I was younger and single I might just slide in his DMs.” Myra said.
“Same girl. Same.” Theo agreed and Mikaela nodded.
“I would just love to know where he gets his eyebrows done.” Ani said touching her own eyebrows and reminding herself to set an appointment with her own eyebrow guy.
“I guess I just have thing for Germans because for me, Leon Goretzka is my baby crush,” Angie shared.
“Another German?” Mikaela asked. “Isn’t that weird when you see him in Mannschaft events?”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Angie winked.
“How about you, Dia and Puja?” Theo asked.
“You guys forget we’re the babies of this group. If we like anyone younger, it’s going to be illegal.” Puja commented.
“But I agree,” Dia said. “Leon and Marco are great options after Andre.”
The girls continued to discuss who was better, Leon or Marco, trying to get Dia to pick only one.
“That’s not fair Dia! You can’t have 2 imaginary back ups!” Ani stated.
“Says who? Where are the rules?” Dia replied back, smirking seeing Puja suppressing her chuckles Dia and Puja loved ganging up against the Filipina and riling her up.
“How are things between you and Mats?” Mikaela asked Angie changing the subject.
“Good. Things between us are good as long as I don’t see him in that hideous red and blue shirt.” Angie had to shudder. “He dared give me a shirt with my name on the back. A Bayern shirt. I told him not to shed his skin, and leave it lying around the house like the snake that he is.”
The girls laughed. It was a running joke to them how Mats was a snake. Most of them were sympathetic to BVB if not actual supporters.
“With Mats things are great. It’s with his father that I’m having...problems.”
The girls turned their full attention on Angie, waiting for her to explain, and ready to confront Mats’ father on behalf of their friend.
“I don’t understand why he’s bugging me. He’s busy being an agent, and being a father...now he’s bugging me for grandchildren saying he’s getting old and needs to have enough energy to actually run after his grandchildren. GRANDCHILDREN! Plural!”
“Yes, when are you giving him a grandchild?” Theo asked and Ani elbowed her.
“Let her be! She’ll have a kid when she’s ready. This year, next year, maybe in five years?” Ani said, nodding at Angie.
“Or maybe after the world cup.” Myra suggested.
“Or within this year,” Theo said. “They have been married for a while now.”
Angie squinted and looked at the girls around the table, the gears in her brilliant mind running fast. “You girls bet on when I’ll get pregnant?”
“What?! No!!” The girls were all quick to reassure the Mexican but it was obvious the group was lying.
Angie frowned disapprovingly at them.
“But if we...hypothetically...bet on when you’d get pregnant or at least try to get pregnant, when would that be? In five years right?” Ani asked once again and this time it was Puja to elbow Ani.
“Not this year girls,” Angie said and Myra groaned, already knowing she lost the bet.
“Oh come on Myra!” Angie laughed at her friend. “How could you bet on me getting pregnant this year. I have a child for a husband 50% of the time. I don’t think I can have another kid in the house right now,” Angie laughed. “I would expect Mikaela to get pregnant before me.”
Mikaela chuckled.
“What’s that smile?” Angie asked. “It looks like you have a secret.”
“Who me?” Mikaela asked still with a grin; everyone just stared at her, waiting for a response.
“If I didn’t see you drinking alcohol, I would think you’re pregnant.” Angie said.
Mikaela chuckled. “No, not pregnant, but David and I agreed that if a baby arrives, we would be very happy.”
The girls erupted in a gleeful cheers at the news.
“We’re not actively trying,” Mikaela said. “No checking for ovulation periods or drinking vitamins or anything like that but if a baby arrives,” Mikaela’s smile just kept growing.
“We have to celebrate!” Theo said.
Angie agreed. “Soon you could be a mom who can’t drink and party anymore.”
“A goodbye party to your non-mommy status!” Ani said.
Puja agreed. “How about going to a club.”
“Girls! This sounds like a bachelorette party. Friendly reminder - I’m married.” Mikaela pointed out.
“I think they just want an excuse to party even more.” Dia said looking at the girls all talking simultaneously on what they should do next.
Mikaela just laughed knowing Dia was absolutely right. Ani was already on the phone trying to get them a table at a popular club.
“Wait!” Dia cried out looking pointedly at Ani. “We have a jet with us. Could we take that to a club I know?”
“Take us away Dia.” Ani said.
The girls around the table nodded, and Myra picked her phone. “Ted? Please have the plane ready in an hour, we’re going to - ” Myra looked at Dia.
“Marbella,” Dia supplied. “Spain.”
“Ted, we’re going to Marbella, Spain.”
-to be continued-