Chapter Text
Eva had not had not had sex with an actual human being for ages. She hadn’t even been thinking much of sex at all. Probably, because if she had let memories of this feeling in to her brain, she wouldn’t have been able to think of anything else at all. It would have been just like the horrible times after Chris left her (She never really put much on the fact that also Jonas left her at that time. It was always about Chris leaving…). Now Eva was laying naked between soft bedlinens, her mind dosing of in after sex euphoria, pressing her body against another, warm body.
It was Halloween, and for once Eva went to the party with her university friends. But then dad send her a picture of the kids in their trick and treat costumes. 10 year old Sunniva in her Harry Potter style, and 5 year olds Storm and Anna as Batman and Princess Anna of Frozen. Eva was not usually that sentimental, she was happy with her life, making most of what she got. She was a practical girl. But somehow this time looking the excitement on little Anna’s face, made her seek to a bedroom to have a good cry in privacy.
But when Eva got her tears running, a guy marched in talking in his cell phone. He had one glance on Eva, and ended his call.
- William, I’ll call you later!
Because the guy was Chris Schistad.
- Eva! What, are you crying? Is it Jonas calling to you again?
- No, my dad.
- Well, fuck him, if he makes you cry…
And what could Eva say then? She couldn’t tell Chris what her dad actually had send, and even less why a picture of a little girl in a princess dress made her sip. So Eva did the only thing she could think of, the same thing she did that Halloween years ago. She kissed Chris.
Kissing Chris… It was as blood stopping as Eva had remembered. Chris was in shock to begin with, but very soon, he began to actively answering the kiss. Eva could feel in her bones how Chris was every bit as hungry for this kiss as Eva. And just like he remembered his lines from those days past so long ago, he also remembered Eva’s special spots, and used them to make her go insane. Once again. Nobody had ever kissed Eva like this; nobody had learned to know her like this.
They hastily moved the reunion to Eva’s flat. And that’s why the man now lying beside Eva was the one and only Chris Schistad. Eva had to admit that sex with Chris was from another planet compared with sex with – anyone else. It had been so many years ago. It still felt so familiar. They fitted together so well. Physically and mentally. Just like back when they were careless teenagers. Before Emma waltzed in to Sana’s party. Eva and Chris never talked since. Now, Eva wanted to enjoy this night of pleasure, and was definitely not going to think of neither their past or future. Chris’s warm body would replace the cold that seemed to live inside Eva now, he would be her dogging station, so she could charge her battery full, able to meet the endless duties of adult life…
Chris was as dozy as Eva, as light-hearted, just evaporating happiness. His fingers absently stroking Eva’s skin. Suddenly Chris’s hand stopped on Eva’s lower belly.
- What’s this? How did you got this scar, Eva? Some kind of surgery?
Eva pressed her eyes shut. Here we go. She couldn’t lie to Chris. Not now.
- Well, I had a C-section. I have a kid.
- Oh! (he could now see the white lines breasts too)
- My body has changed… It’s not like – well back then. Eva was still desperately trying to avoid the real topic. No matter how well she knew, that she couldn’t.
- Eva, if anything, you’re more gorgeous than – back then. I’ve missed you so much. You don’t seriously think a couple of scars would make a difference? For me.
- I’m not the same. Sometimes I just look at my picture at a shop window. I’m so tired and sad, I would like to be the same old Eva who got drunk and hooked with Penetrator Chris..
- There’s no Penetrator Chris anymore… Things have changed. You have a kid, huh. You and Jonas?
- No. No no, not Jonas.
- Who’s is it then?
- Well…
- Ok. Not my business. Tell me something else about this kid, then. Is it a boy or a girl?
- It’s a girl, she’s turned 5 in April. She’s in Bergen with my dad’s family.
- Ok. What’s her name?
- Anna. Anna Christina.
- Anna Christina, 5 years old? You know Eva, it was June 5 years ago. Since I’ve seen you. Since we did this. Born in April? If Jonas is not the father…
- Yeah, she’s your’s. I figured it out, and she also looks like you. I just. I haven’t told anybody. It was such a chaos bag then. You and Emma. Me and Jonas. I didn’t want you to be with me just because you had to. Especially not after you panicked like that, and run to Emma.
- Me and Emma lasted like a couple of days…
- Jonas wasn’t exactly keen to father your kid… Couldn’t run fast enough, it seemed. Jonas is the only one who knows. But, he hasn’t told anyone, I’m sure. My parents probably quested, since they can see the similarities. And my friends find it weird, that I don’t know who the father is. They wouldn’t, like be very surprised, I guess.
- Didn’t William see if this Anna looks so much like me?
- They haven’t seen her really after she turned two… That’s when she went to stay in Bergen. My dad and Anita had their second child, a boy called Strom, in January before Anna was born. So, I spent quite a lot time in Bergen the first year, when me and Anita both had maternity leave. And, when I started at the Oslo university, me and Anna moved to this tiny flat at Blindern, and I tried to make it work. But, it never really did. Anna went to kindergarten, and I had to follow the opening hours, and then I had to make dinner and clean and all that when we came home, and do the studying when Anna was sleeping. I never really had time to be with her, let alone to do anything else. Anita found out what a mess I was, and she suggested that Anna could come stay with them. She got her a place the same kindergarten with Storm, and things really worked out.
- That sounds tough as hell! You should have asked me to help.
- It was such chaos; I was just surviving day by day. I actually think, I probably was depressed too. I had been trying so hard to forget you. And I couldn’t really believe that anybody cared of me! Even Anna was just crying all the time. It was my responsibility. I felt so ashamed when I couldn’t even handle to be a mother..
- The most important thing is that you got help then. You must miss her.
- Like crazy. But, I’m still busy. And I know she has a god life there, all the stuff I could never give her. And she’s still my girl. She knows I’m her mother.
- What have you told her about her father then?
- I tell her that I had a boyfriend, who was very cute and very smart and very kind. All the things she is. But we were very young, and not ready to be a family for her, so that’s why she got her family at her grandfather’s home. I haven’t told anybody about you, so I can’t tell her, not yet. But, I would have told when she got older.
- Cute, smart and kind. That was not bad. And boyfriend!
- I can’t explain to a kid, that I made her with someone who wasn’t my boyfriend! Even you must get that much!
- I think she needs to know now. Everybody needs to know. I obviously want to know my daughter. And, it’s not only me. She has grandparents, aunts, cousins. I’m not gonna take her away from anybody. I understand, that she’s doing fine. And I’m still not much of a father… But she should know about her kin.
This was no news to Eva. Of course Chris wanted to meet Anna! Eva hadn’t been able to think of this part of the story. That Chris and his family actually had right to know Anna. Anna had right to know them. Now it was crystal clear in her head. But she had more to talk about. Eva usually kept all this stuff inside, and tried to enjoy to good things in her life. She needed this talk as bad as she had needed the sex.
- I also thought, we all did I guess, that she would only be in Bergen for a while. So that I got my life sortied. I was such a mess. We just had to act. But when things started to get better, I understood, that it would take years before I could have anything like a normal life with her. And then I realized, that they are her family now. Anna and Storm, they are like twins really, and Sunniva is the bossy big sis, dad and Anita have been raising and loving her like one of their children. She can’t wait to start school with Storm and her other friends from the kindergarten. It’s her home. I never had siblings, and when I was older, I lived so long alone with my mum. I want Anna to have all this! They have time to teach her to ride a bike and swim and ski, take her to soccer school… They have boat and cabin and waffles on Saturdays and hiking on Sundays. The Norwegian childhood, you know. Every winter they fly to Grand Canary, and they take me with so that I can spend time with Anna and babysit so dad and Anita can have some couple time. Can you understand me?
- I understand! Eva, it was way too hard for you. I wish you would have told me right away. But I guess I can see why you didn’t.
- When I first found out that I was pregnant, I was so heart broken… And I had to just focus on finishing high school.
- I don’t get it. Why haven’t I ever heard anything from William?
- I was such a mess… Sara and Ingrid were so mean. It became an unspoken rule that nobody talked about it with anybody. They saw how paranoid I got of the looks.
- And then I couldn’t be russ because I was giving birth. And my friends started studying while I was changing nappies in Bergen. They tried to help me when we came to Oslo, but I was such mess…. So when Anna moved to live in Bergen and I started to smile again, they were afraid of bringing it up. I still have contact with my friends from Nissen. But, everyone has their busy lives. And I wasn’t really up to the student party scene. I just wasn’t like the other students. Because I was all the time Anna’s mum, even though she was living in Bergen, so I could be free...
- Eva, you said something of being tired and sad? You mean this stuff?
- I guess… But I’m not sad, not really! I’m very if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. This is no exactly what I had in mind. But I have a good life. Anna is just fantastic. I’m so glad that she came. I was her real mum the first year or so. First smiles, first steps. Breast feeding and not sleeping in the nights. And now - I’m this funny auntie-mum thing… But Anna has a wonderful life, and mine isn’t that bad either. Now I just need to graduate. And karpe diem.
- Eva, if I only had known. I never forgot you. I just tried to respect you. I fucked up so badly. I understood that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. That you couldn’t have trusted me anyway. I didn’t trust in me! But I never forgot about you, never really moved on. I want to keep you smiling from now on. If you let me to.
- Oh Chris, I don’t usually cry in parties.. Here, this is what dad send to me. This is Anna.
- Wow. She really looks just like my sisters did when they were small.. But with your hear. She’s beautiful! Thanks Eva. I do mean it. This. All of this. It was a big mistake to let you go. This time I will take full William style. No giving up!
- What? We just run in to each other, and what? You want us to - like date?
- I’ve had 5 years to think about this, Eva. I just want to spend time with you. I think that’s called being together? I’m not gonna give up, and because of Anna, we need to keep contact anyway. Eva, I think you need me. Not because you wouldn’t be fine on your own, but because… You can be happier with me?
- I think we need to go to Bergen, Chris. Let’s see how it goes, and take it from there?
- We need to ask Anna to take us to the Aquarium…