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Robert doesn’t know how long he sits there, the debris of the portacabin around him and the sun sinking lower in the sky.
He doesn’t reach for the light switch, or make any moves to tidy up, even though he knows he should. Aaron and Adam will be in early tomorrow and they’ll want to know why the place has been trashed. But Robert can’t bring himself to care, or even move. He’s barely even aware of his surroundings, the minutes blurring together.
Robert can feel the wall against his back, his frame hunched over his raised knees as he tugs at the messed-up strands of his hair. His blazer is on the floor in front of him, even though he can’t remember taking it off, can’t remember much of anything really, the thoughts in his head too loud to allow anything else in.
You just stick to your life, I’ll stick to mine.
Everything you touch, you ruin.
She’d be heartbroken if she knew what you’d become.
I hate you. I wish I never met ya.
You get in that car and you clear off.
You’re disgusting.
You can’t make this go away
What use is that to me in here. Just leave me alone.
You’re still the same pathetic, twisted little boy that you always were
Do you really think your opinion matters to me?
Robert just go.
“…bert…Robert! What’s wrong? What happened?”
It’s the light he notices first, the harsh industrial strip illuminating the dark cabin, causing him to bury his face in his hands to keep the intrusive beams out. Too bright. Too loud.
There are voices, he thinks, one, maybe two? Yes two. The door is open and the air is unseasonably cold, rushing in and swirling around him. When he glances between his fingers, Robert realises that darkness has fully fallen now, just the outside light illuminating the scrapyard. When had it gotten dark?
The hand on his shoulder is gentle, but it still makes him jump.
“…happened? Rob you’re worrying us, say something please.”
For one wild moment, he thinks it’s his mother, with her warm voice and soft touches. Maybe she has come to take him with her. Robert thinks maybe that wouldn’t be so bad, after all, he can’t hurt or disappoint anyone if he’s not here. Aaron would be better off, everyone would be, if he was gone.
But then something is being put around his shoulders, a blanket maybe, and the person next to him leans in close to wrap it around him. No, not Sarah. The perfume smells wrong. This one is lighter, more floral, with just the hint of something freshly baked.
Vic.
“…do you think’s wrong with him?”
There is a clacking sound, and a second person moves.
“I don’t know pet, but let’s get him home… sort this out later…”
There are two sets of gentle but firm hands guiding him to his feet, out through the chill night, and into the back of a car.
“S’ok… I’m gonna go now, gonna leave. Better for him, better for everyone.” Robert tries to force the words through his cold, dry lips. He’s not sure if the words come out audible, but it feels important, essential, to try to say this. “S’too loud. I want it to stop.”
“You’re not going anywhere love. You’re coming home with me and your sister, and we’re going to help you get well, ok?” There are warm lips on his forehead, and he leans into the voice. Diane, he thinks.
Robert’s not sure where ‘home’ is, or what getting ‘well’ means, but as the car engine rumbles to life, he allows himself to close his eyes at last.
For a little while at least, things are quiet.