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The first time Daichi told Hibiki he loved him was when they were pretty young. All he'd known was that he loved how Hibiki's eyes lit up at Daichi's homemade boxed lunch, how important Hibiki was to him, how when they'd grow up and continue to share stories because he couldn't imagine the world without the quiet friend beside him.
Hibiki kicked his legs out, “Mama says I can't touch the kitchen until my 15th birthday, it's impressive that you made this.”
Being 10 and learning how to make rice balls wasn't that impressive, but it made Daichi's cheeks warm nonetheless, “How did you know I made them?”
Hibiki pointed to his own eyes, then Daichi's, “Your eyes became all… all happy,” he looked to be contemplating his word choice, a rare small smile on his features, “You look like you want me to try it. And I want to try it. So may I have some please?”
Daichi held out a rice ball, they had salmon in the middle because his mom taught him how to cut salmon perfectly and he couldn't wait to show off.
“Yeah! Here!”
And when Hibiki reached out to take it from him, Daichi quickly put the rice ball in his mouth. Just in time to catch Hibiki's expression go from content to shocked, to annoyed.
“Why are you so mean.” Hibiki didn't phrase it as a question, and he pouted. Daichi was reminded of when his dad would pinch his cheeks until it hurt so much that he cried. His dad would always say it was because he loved him. Daichi didn't want to make Hibiki cry, but teasing the quiet boy a little was fun, as every other time Hibiki would tease him.
“It's because I love you!” Daichi laughed.
Hibiki’s expression slipped back into surprise, “You love me…?”
“Yep!”
Hibiki looked at the rice balls, then his hands, “... Mama never told me what I should do if someone loved me.”
Daichi blinked and set a rice ball in Hibiki's open hand, “I don't want you to do anything,” he said as as-a-matter-of-factly, “I just want to be your friend!”
Hibiki's fingers closed around the rice ball. It was a little bit of time before he brought it up to his mouth to take a bite.
He chewed slowly, carefully, with his mouth closed, never spilling a piece of rice from his hand. He swallowed as the bell rang for them to go back inside the school halls.
“I love this,” Hibiki said finally.
Daichi felt as if he'd been praised by every entity on Earth. Giddily, he grabbed Hibiki's hand in his own as soon as he closed his lunchbox.
“I'll let you have some after school! I'll show you how to make them too!”
It wasn't until they made it back in line that Daichi had realized that Hibiki was squeezing his hand.
But that hardly counted. As they both grew older together, love ended up being something very different. No one said, “I love you” to a friend, not if they didn't want to be berated-
Daichi heard a rumor about a guy who told his friend he loved him. He then heard that the guy had to transfer schools because the rumors got too scathing when his friend joined in.
He and Hibiki were talking about bowling, something Hibiki told him he'd never done, Daichi immediately dragged him to a bowling alley. Bowling was something every sixteen-year-old had to experience!
“You don't have to.” Hibiki started upping his pace to better walk in step with Daichi. Daichi grinned and laughed.
“Course I do! What are best friends for?”
Hibiki looked at him curiously and then said, “I thought they were for just sitting and talking.”
Daichi looked at him all confused until he saw a barely contained smile starting to grow on Hibiki's lips.
“Dude!” he let go of Hibiki's arm and proceeded to punch it, “I'm not that much a cheapskate! We can see the world, me and you!”
Hibiki rubbed his arm and Daichi was worried that he punched him too hard, “The correct way is, you and I-”
“Yeah, yeah, Mr. A student! I don't feel sorry for you anymore!”
Hibiki looked at his arm lost in thought, “Alright, Mr. Best Friend, I feel better about myself.”
“And why?” Daichi didn't mean to sound as heated as he did but-
Hibiki looked as if he was backed into a corner, sweating, “Oh- um… Cause I do…”
Daichi raised a brow. Hibiki refused to meet his eyes. “Dude, if I beat you in a battle of wit, just say so! Maybe I'll grow a pair and try my hand at picking battles I could win!”
“Don't just do that…” Hibiki was quiet, too quiet, “I don't want you to get hurt, physically or emotionally.”
Hibiki was unusually serious today- his teasing fell flat- his word choice fumbled and his tone anything but playful or mischievous.
“Dude? You okay?” they were approaching the mall now, and Hibiki still looked almost gloomy.
Hibiki looked at the ground and hunched over and said, “Hm… Not… not really, I guess.”
Daichi squeezed his shoulder. Hibiki straightened his spine as if he'd been jolted. Daichi opened his mouth to ask, “Can I help in any way?” Hibiki looked at Daichi in the eye.
“Yeah.”
“What do you want me to do?” at this point, Daichi was willing to do anything to put a smile on Hibiki's face.
A real, genuine smile.
Hibiki only sighed and looked at Daichi's hand that hadn't left his shoulder.
“Just- Just don't stop being you.”
They entered the mall, and Daichi entered a deeper state of confusion.
“Dude, I'm just me, I don't think I'm gonna change from ‘useless’ anytime soon.” Daichi nudged Hibiki with his elbow. Hibiki looked insulted.
“You're far from useless Daichi!” Daichi dropped his hand to his side, surprised when Hibiki took it to squeeze it, “You're okay at studies when you put your mind to it- and you can cook better than my mom- and-”
Daichi looked at their shoes, noticing that their footsteps were in unison, right, left, right, left-
“-and I get you. And you get me. I don't want you to change.”
Daichi looked up from their feet to the tiles and crowds ahead. The bowling alley was down- they had to find an escalator or something-
“Hibiki-” he felt choked up and warm and the only way to stop how weirdly happy he was, was by focusing on something entirely, “I'm gonna teach you how to bowl, and we’re gonna have fun.”
Hibiki was quiet for a moment, registering something, before opening his mouth and saying, “Yeah. And next time, you'll teach me to navigate malls. I had no idea we had one this big close to home.”
Daichi grinned wide, and Hibiki smiled, and Daichi said it before he even understood what was coming out of his mouth.
“Man, you know I love you, right?”
The only one that looked more shocked than Daichi himself was Hibiki. Eyes as wide as saucers, mouth opened only a little, it was as if they'd been frozen despite the fact that they still kept walking. Walking without interruptions until the made it to the escalator.
Daichi didn't know what to say to control whatever damage he'd done to his friendship- it felt like there was something, a plug, in his throat.
It gradually felt harder and harder to speak as the escalator slowly moved them down, down, down. Daichi saw the poster for the bowling alley. Daichi saw the people in front of them. Daichi saw Hibiki close his mouth and close his eyes.
“I know.”
Daichi forgot they were still holding hands. The way Hibiki turned his hand to lace his fingers with Daichis reminded him very well that they were still connected.
It was an accident. It was nearly never again that would Daichi ever say that with confidence. The only thing Daichi took solace in, at that moment, was that Hibiki knew what to do with people who loved them.
Act like nothing happened. Or perhaps Hibiki was right- he already knew. And he was all right with it.
It didn't stop Daichi from holding his breath all week in worry.
The next time he said it was at 18.
By then, he'd taken notice that how they'd sat when they were alone had slowly become something completely different.
From the usual way of sitting next to each other on his 17th birthday, a month later, they'd sit with their thighs pressing against each other.
Months later, Hibiki was practically draping his body onto Daichi's.
It was when Hibiki had laid his head on Daichi's thighs before grumbling something about “Not being able to hug anything,” that Daichi realized that- hey- Hibiki never used to do that before. Now he'd do it all the time.
“What's up, Hibiki?” Daichi asked, hand on Hibiki’s couch that they currently were on. It was on the couch anyways, before Hibiki reached out to grasp it by the wrist and bring it to his hair. Daichi's fingers automatically started playing with black, curly locks, hair far too soft and pretty to not do so.
“Not much. What's up with you?”
Daichi looked at Hibiki's slowly closing eyes and pulled on his hair a little. Hibiki's eyes closed and he hummed, content.
“Not much here either. When are we supposed to get our test grades again?”
Hibiki groaned and said, “I don't care really, Mr. Whatshisface gave us the answers, and I'm confident in what I put down.”
Daichi stopped playing with Hibiki's hair. Hibiki arched his back and whined.
“Dude, we’re not all like you. I think you're like- a superhuman or something when it comes to tests.”
“Superhumans need things too. Like I need you to keep playing with my hair. It feels good.”
Daichi blinked and pouted, but he resumed running his fingers through Hibiki's hair, lightly scratching Hibiki's scalp sometimes. Hibiki let out a sigh that made Daichi feel as if he had to look in any other direction but at Hibiki.
“It's wonderful,” Hibiki breathed out, “I think I'm gonna fall asleep.”
“Don't do that!” Daichi didn't stop though, couldn't stop when he heard Hibiki's soft, soft breathing, little hums of pleasure making this whole thing a lot more satisfying than it had any right to be, “I'm gonna be stuck under you, possibly forever!” He looked down at his lap and wondered if it was possible for a human to purr.
Hibiki opened his eyes a little, looked at Daichi from behind his lashes. Daichi thought he looked really-
“Mmm, if there were a place I'd be forever, it'd be here.”
Daichi's eyes widened, Hibiki's eyes closed, Daichi's fingers tightened their grip on Hibiki's hair.
“C'mon dude, me and you? In your room? Me playing with your hair? That's boring.”
Hibiki didn't open his eyes. He just turned his head so that his nose touched Daichi's stomach, and he murmured, “Is it…? Mm… not really. It's comfortable with you. I'm comfortable with you. I like being with you.”
Daichi evaluated everything at that point. Hibiki's peaceful expression, the warm atmosphere, the comfort of Hibiki's room where Daichi was not worried about shouting from inside or otherwise.
The only word Daichi could come up with to describe everything at that moment was “Perfect.”
Hibiki chuckled and said, “You are.”
Daichi blinked, just realizing that he said that out loud- and just realizing that Hibiki just called him-
“Come down here,” Hibiki said, reluctantly moving to give Daichi space to lay next to him, “I wanna do it to you too. We can do it together. Then we can both fall asleep.”
Daichi chewed on his bottom lip and refused to allow his mind to take it in the way that it automatically wanted to, and scooted his body down to lay with Hibiki.
Hibiki's fingers in his hair was relaxing, but not as relaxing as Hibiki's hot breaths on his lips or Hibiki's body pressed onto his. It felt good. It felt perfect.
Their lips were so close- if Daichi just puckered his lips (which would look stupid) or if Hibiki did (which would look- admittedly- kinda cute) then their lips would be-
He didn't know what movement there was- maybe it was the fact that he stuttered an “I-I love-” or maybe it was the fact that Hibiki seemed to want to press every inch of their bodies as humanly possibly close together that lead to Hibiki's lips on his.
He wasn't complaining.
And when they broke away, gasping for air, breaths long and far heavier- Hibiki said, “I love you too.”
There were too many “I love you’s” Daichi would end up telling Hibiki after that point.
No doubt, because Hibiki would always respond with “I love you too.”