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“i get why taehyung cried.”
it’s what he tells the camera later, and it’s what he tells hoseok even later in the lounge when everyone’s gone to bed and jungkook is showering.
“why,” hoseok whispers, eyes closed and head leaned back on the couch.
jimin’s lips part on a thought, but he can’t find the words to make it seem less intense. despite the relaxing day, the sun’s worn him out. the energy from the day had been washed off along with the sea salt earlier.
“he doesn’t open up like that often,” or easily, jimin adds in his head. “it’s hard to express yourself in front of everyone, much less a camera.”
hoseok hums, “he said it’s easy in front of you though.”
jimin looks over at his hyung to see if he’s in to be teased. he finds nothing except hoseok’s placid face, minutes from going slack with sleep.
it was true. taehyung, despite his bright personality and - interesting - antics, was a delicate glass wrapped in thin cloth. over the years jimin had fallen into step with the idea of protecting taehyung. let it be from harsh online comments or from his own self. but when he couldn’t, for jimin’s responsibilities didn’t only extend to taehyung’s wellbeing, taehyung would still turn to him. not for protection, but for help. those times, jimin would listen to taehyung talk and be that person taehyung had searched him out to be.
it wasn’t a burden or anything. jimin did it because he cared, a bit too much perhaps. in the end it was always jimin, and jimin was happy about. it was always taehyung for jimin, anyway. it made sense.
“i’m his best friend,” jimin said. his tone bashful with a slight twinge of pride. hoseok blowed air out his nose in response, lips quirking.
“best friends, soulmates, what else are you?”
jimin looked at hoseok say all this with his eyes closed. that’s all, he wanted to say. soulmates, best friends, that’s pretty much it. hoseok pried one eye open to find jimin too deep in thought for the hour it was.
“ah, my dongsaengs are so cute,” his raspy voice letting him know it was time to put it to rest. he stretched his arms up and over the back of the sofa, letting his left one fall on jimin’s head. he patted the bristles that were his hair, “come on, time for bed.”
jimin got up and followed hoseok to the hallway that led to their rooms.
what else were they? the question jimin would rather ask himself was, what else did he want them to be?
*
taehyung kisses him sometimes. they’ve never put those times into words, but jimin knows they exist. at least.
now is one of those times. taehyung has his hands secured in his freshly dyed hair. meanwhile, jimin’s are lost somewhere in taehyung’s tee. it’s been months since they were sleeping on the shoreline of hawaii.
jimin breathes deeply, his chest constricting at the soft feeling of taehyung’s lips moving down his neck. small pecks to his collarbones and then they go back up behind his ear. “tae,” he murmurs.
taehyung pulls back., the slightest bit, and comes back to meet jimin’s lips with his own. they’re in a natural state of push and pull, far from violent and close to gentle. he taste sweet, and jimin moves closer until both his arms wrap around taehyung’s middle instead of holding him half an arm’s length away. he’s always marveled at how slim taehyung is, he feels small. anywhere else but here he feels tall, broad, solid, hovering around jimin. here, it’s the complete opposite and jimin just wants to wrap him up tight.
they’re laying across taehyung’s bed on their sides. the door isn’t even locked. if anyone were to walk in they wouldn’t be able to distinguish one from the other, so wrapped up in each other it’s impractical.
like this, jimin doesn’t have to think about questions from his hyungs. nor does he have to pay any mind to the videos and pictures and “proof” that roam the internet because he looked at taehyung for a second too long. in those moments where he can’t pretend like he wasn’t imagining what they’re doing right now.
locked up together, so close, with lips melting against one another like iron in a furnace.
the noises jimin pulls from between taehyung’s lips are saccharine and feel like a splash of ice water on his face. a whimper pulls at jimin’s heart, makes it jump to his throat. he wants to hear more.
it’s not feasible, not here or now. it’s simply not. no matter how many knowing looks hoseok gives him a day, or how namjoon would be so okay with it. there’s a timing for everything, jimin firmly believes it. right now only holds enough space for deep kisses and hushed gasps into each others beings. jimin can wait, he has enough to distract himself with for now.
*
taehyung corners him in the next week.
“tell me something.”
anything, jimin wants to say among other things. “sure.”
“what do you think of dating?”
words don’t hold enough strength to describe how jimin’s heart reacts. a freight sized stop and then it’s jumping in his chest. jimin’s mouth goes dry, impairing him from answering.
“not us, i mean. like in general?” taehyung quickly rephrases, adding fuel to the mess in jimin’s head. like in general.
“well,” he starts quietly. taehyung looks at him, won’t quit looking at him. his stare insistent on keeping jimin’s. it makes the seconds feel like forever. “i wouldn’t have much time to keep a relationship with someone outside all this.”
he motions “this” with one hand. taehyung nods, hanging off his words like they hold a truth he hasn’t asked for. there’s more questions to be asked, but jimin wants out. he needs time to formulate a proper answer to what taehyung is obviously dying to ask.
taehyung looks down, “what if they were inside all this.”
“that’s different then.”
not the most telling answer, but taehyung must know by now.
the light above them flick off and then on, “hey stop confessing to one another, you’re blocking the door.”
jungkook, and his disrespectful self, walks around them and into the bathroom. not before, shooting jimin a dumb wink that makes heat flood his face. he shoves jungkook, none too gently, into the bathroom, ducking and making his way back to his room. taehyung’s nervous laugh rings out behind him.
but taehyung doesn’t take the out and follows him a minute later.
jimin needs to focus on the comeback, needs to get in the right headspace for it. it’s a whirl of performances and appearances he wants to do his best for. so this week, he guess, is the only time he’ll have to let taehyung know.
he realizes how loosely the truth clings onto that statement. no time better than the present, he supposes instead.
a giddy, child-like excitement fills him as he turns to taehyung. it was kind of ridiculous how much they built it up. they’re not going to die feeling how they are. no disease exists for star crossed lovers, especially those who are too dramatic and take too long to come up with their next scene. he and taehyung weren’t like that, they were far from the drama and sadness that follows people like them. darkness doesn’t follow them this year, nor will it ever.
jimin’s done his waiting, paid the small price of his heart, and now he gets to claim what’s his.
where else would this happen other than the dorm? japan, perhaps. on the balcony of their hotel room, bright lights illuminating the slope of taehyung’s nose and jut of his chin; with hands intertwined, and hearts light, jimin might have let the words slip. or maybe in the U.S. in one of the big cities that hold lives so different from his. it would be after a meal and the AC would play as background music to jimin’s words. it could have happened in hawaii, any one of those nights could have been perfect. last week, last month, time and place don’t matter because jimin would have felt this way anyway.
the moment is sealed, and jimin gets it. he gets why taehyung felt like he needed to ask. there’s always a possibility that what’s written in the stars won’t play out. forces greater than them act so sure of what’s to happen, but he’s still a person who can make choices. despite this, jimin still finds himself believing in fate. fate brought them to this moment, time didn’t stop to make any changes. jimin can’t find words to describe it, but he gets it.
it's always taehyung for jimin, anyway.