Chapter Text
[hoes bein hoes]
11:34 am
taelicious: YALL STFU
jibooty pop: EXCUSE ME I AM TYPING HOW CAN I 'STFU'
taelicious: jimin i STG I WILL SHOVE MY FIST SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU WONT BE ABLE TO TYPE
hoebi: woah wtf who spit in your cereal this morning ?
taelicious: YOU DID WTF WHY WOULD YOU EVEN
hoebi: o yeah AHAHAHAHAHAHA HEY GUYS YOU WONT GUESS WHAT I DID THIS MORNING
jungcock o'clock: spit in taes cereal..?
hoebi: WELL YEA BUT NO
jibooty pop: SO WE JUST GON FORGET THE FACT THAT TAEHYUNG JUST THREATENED MY ASS
hoebi: SHUT UP PEASANT I AM SPEAKING
jibooty pop: typing*
taelicious: HONESTLY STILL BRUSHING MY TEETH IVE BEEN VIOLATED BY HOSEOKS SALIVA
hoebi: yea yea so traumatizing bUT BACK TO ME
hoebi: SO AFTER I SPIT IN TAES CEREAL (on accident i swear guys) HE RAN ME OUT OF THE APARTMENT
taelicious: ON ACCIDENT MY FUCKIN ASS YOU LITERALLY ASKED
taelicious: "how would u react if i just spit in ur cereal"
taelicious: AND WAITED FOR ME TO TAKE A BITE TO TELL ME U SPAT IN MY FUCKIN CEREAL
hoebi: ANYYYYYWAYS AFTER A VERY ANGRY TAEHYUNG CHASED ME OUT I DECIDED TO TAKE A LITTLE STROLL THRU THE PARK
jungcock o'clock: hoseok why would u spit in his bowl of cereal ?
taelicious: RIGHT ON MY DAM FRUITY PEBBLES
hoebi: ENUF ABT UR DAM PEASANT FOOD
hoebi: I WENT TO THE PARK AND SAW MY MOTHER-FUCKIN-EX JACKSON WANG
jibooty pop: he fucked his mom ?
hoebi: WHAT? THE? FUCK? NO????
master w/ ur bra: why'd you add hyphens then?
jibooty pop: WOAH WHERED U COME FROM LMAO
taelicious: gettin all technical and shiiiiit
succjin: well if jackson was fucking his mother i can see why it didn't work out.
jungcock o'clock: WHERE YALL COMIN FROM
taelicious: they just fucked.
jibooty pop: TAEHYUNG PLS WTF
taelicious: whAT THEY JUST FUCKED AND IM THE BAD GUY
jibooty pop: YOU DONT KNOW THAT THEY FUCKED OHMYG OD
master w/ ur bra: we did.
succjin: OH MY GOD NAMJOON
succjin: dam u really weren't joking when u said blunt.
taelicious: I TOLD U BITCHES
jibooty pop: THAT WAS STILL NASTEY TO ASSUME
hoebi: NASTY AS FUCK BUT BACK TO ME ONCE AGAIN DAM
succjin: sry sweetie got distracted, what happened with jackson ?
hoebi: OKAY SO HE WAS THERE WITH THE HOE HE CHEATED ON ME WITH
taelicious: o honey, no.
jibooty pop: stfu
jungcock o'clock: damn
succjin: O I WILL FIGHT A FUCKING SQUIRREL TO GET TO HIM NOW HES DEAD
master w/ ur bra: sweetheart, u gotta chill a lil bit
hoebi: NO ITS FINE BUT GET THIS GUYS... OKAY YOU READY?
taelicious: i stg if this ends up being some stupid ass shit i'm leaving.
hoebi: I PICKED UP AN ACORN, WALKED OVER TO HIM, SAID SOMETHING ALONG THE LINES OF "i fucked ur mom way before u cheated on me with this hoe" WAITED FOR HIS JAW TO D R O P
hoebi: AND SHOVED THE ACORN IN THERE.
taelicious:
taelicious: idk whether to cheer u on or fear for when u get home.
succjin: THATS MA BOYYYYYYYYY
succjin: AT LEAST I RAISED U RIGHT
master w/ ur bra: well u didn't raise him
succjin: NAMJOON WOULD U SO KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP
jungcock o'clock: WHY IS EVERYONE SAYING STFU WE ARE ALL TYPING FOR FUCKS SAKE
succjin: yung man that kind of language u did not learn from me.
master w/ ur bra: again; u didn't raise him and he probably did learn that language from u seokjin
succjin: Y U GOTTA DO ME DIRTY ME LIKE THIS
taelicious: bet he was doin u dirty hyung.... ;)
jibooty pop: TAE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS UP WITH U TODAY
master w/ ur bra: well then.
succjin: WHY U GOTTA EXPOSE ME LIKE THAT
taelicious: O GOD
taelicious: I ATE HOSEOKS SPIT
jungcock o'clock: ate spit ? drank spit ? which one would be true ?
taelicious: IM TURNING INTO HOSEOK THRU SOME GENETIC MUTATION TYPE SHIT
tongue tech god: what the fuck is happening it's 11 am would u fuck off
jibooty pop: o shit waddup
succjin: y'all better run he mad
master w/ ur bra: tae, that's highly unlikely.
taelicious: YEA BUT ITS A LITTLE LIKELY I DONT LIKE THOSE ODDS
hoebi: WTF IS WRONG WITH TURNING INTO ME U ASSWIPE?!
taelicious: well ur a fUCKING PERVERT WHO SHOVES ACORNS INTO PPLS MOUTHS
hoebi: YEA AND ?
jungcock o'clock: o wow he didn't even deny the pervert part.
succjin: just so y'all know he's namjoons son, not mine.
tongue tech god: for christs sake
succjin: what's got ur panties in a twist huh
tongue tech god: this morherfucking group chat
hoebi: fine then L E A V E
jibooty pop: AW NO DONT LEAVE YOONGI HYUNG
taelicious: what's this? do my eyes deceive me
taelicious: jimin using,,, formalities?
taelicious: this spit is even affecting my vision
tongue tech god: well if i leave you'll never add me back.
hoebi: ... and?
tongue tech god: idk what if smthn important happens
jungcock o'clock: YOONGI IS TOTALLY STAYING FOR JIMIN
taelicious: no kook
taelicious: he's staying for dat A S S
jibooty pop: y'all can go die
master w/ ur bra: that's not very nice.
succjin: NAMJOON U SOUND LIKE SUCH A SCHOOLGIRL AHAHAHAHAHAHA
master w/ ur bra: y do the ones we love hurt us the most?
hoebi: namjoon right now probably
hoebi:
jungcock o'clock: can confirm that is true
jibooty pop: u with him?
jungcock o'clock: yea apparently jin was laughing real hard irl and namjoon just walked out. he's here now
succjin: SUCH A SCHOOL GIRL MOVE JOONIE
hoebi: why the hell u guys still texting. that's hella awkward.
tongue tech god: cause he don't wanna stop texting [b a e]
succjin: aw that's sweet jungkook. we can just go on private chat then.
master w/ ur bra: excuse me what?
jungcock o'clock: what hahahaha
hoebi: please ELABORATE YOONGI
tongue tech god: well, since u asked so nicely
jibooty pop: ooo i'm excited
jungcock o'clock: wat come on hyung don't be like that
tongue tech god: JEON JUNGKOOK HAS THE HOTS, THE OO LA LAS, FOR NONE OTHER THAN
jungcock o'clock: HYUNG PLES NO THINK ABT THIS
hoebi: [agressive, rushed, drumroll]
tongue tech god: KIM TAEHYUNG
jungcock o'clock: NICE JOKE HAHA
succjin: everyone right now
succjin:
taelicious: lol what happened
jungcock o'clock: NUTHIN YOONGI JUST TOLD A FUNNY JOKE ITS ALL GOOD WHATS UP WHERE U BEEN HOW YA DOIN
hoebi: "NUThin" WOW JUNGKOOK WOW
master w/ ur bra: well i thought it was obvious
succjin: joonie, sweetie, everyone did. it was obvious.
taelicious: kookie ? lol
succjin: to everyone except him ^
jibooty pop: bet "kookie" is freaking the fuck out rn ahahahahahaha
jungcock o'clock: YEA WELL YOONGI LOOOOOOVES JIMIN AND HIS ASS
tongue tech god: ffs
succjin: i mean
succjin: it's a nice ass who doesn't love it
taelicious: love the ass
master w/ ur bra: gotta agree with my boy here: great ass
hoebi: rly poppin
jibooty pop: well thanks guys awww
tongue tech god: YEA ITS PRETTY NICE AHAHAHA NOT JUST THE ASS THO CUTE FACE
jibooty pop: [intensely blushing] thank you hyung.
jungcock o'clock: well fuck me
[jungcock o'clock has left the conversation]
1:43 pm