Chapter Text

[ EARLY SUMMER, 2010 ]

he meets Min Yoongi on a Tuesday.

Seokjin had been called in to the BigHit offices to go over his new contracts, as well as finalize the paperwork that would complete his transition from the acting track; it wasn't an entirely complicated process, but just being on a different trainee development floor had felt novel enough at the time. he never expected that he would end up meeting any of his soon-to-be peers so spontaneously, much less that one of them would just so happen to be exactly his type, holy moly.

which is why, even though he's positive that he'd been introduced to two people that day, he only remembers the one at first.

it's fine, though. he meets them both again properly not too long after that, Kim Namjoon and Min Yoongi. they have their own little personal studio, not much more than a storage closet with a bank of monitors and recording equipment installed along the back wall. Seokjin can tell that they're very proud of their space, though, obvious in how they've made the most of the sparse square footage - it has a very lived-in kind of energy, this Bangtan Room, and Seokjin almost immediately feels comfortable within its walls.

except that, well -- he just wanted to be as respectful as possible, you know? because again, he could tell just how much this space was loved, and Seokjin wasn't about to trample all over someone's safe haven without thought… no matter how he'd pretty much just been unceremoniously dumped on their doorstep.

so he might have hovered a bit awkwardly at first, lingering by the entrance as they all reintroduced themselves, just testing the waters. thankfully, his efforts were mostly well received. and Namjoon, at least, seemed the type to really embrace change, so much as it meant new faces, new ideas, new potential. it was clear just from the way that he tried to engage Seokjin, that Namjoon saw him as an opportunity, first and foremost. which Seokjin could not at all fault him for.

Namjoon was very obviously an artist, but he also seemed very aware that his artistry was a business. and if his higher-ups felt that Seokjin was a worthwhile investment, then he would be sure to do whatever he could to turn that profit. he was an incredibly smart kid, and Seokjin could definitely see that the development team members he'd spoken to hadn't been exaggerating: Kim Namjoon really was going to make a fantastic group leader.

now, Min Yoongi, on the other hand, was a completely different story. and one that Seokjin wasn't sure he knew how to read, at that, even after almost three whole hours sat next to him on a painfully lumpy couch. he was going to be a difficult person to befriend, that much was plain to see.

but Seokjin had always enjoyed a good challenge.

-

on the train home from Sinsa-dong that evening, Seokjin comes to a somewhat startling conclusion: Min Yoongi is really, very cute.

this is something of an amazing revelation for a number of reasons, the most immediately obvious being, well. he just didn't seem like the usual cute type, at a glance; that first time, in the narrow halls of BigHit, Min Yoongi had been nearly drowning in a sweater three sizes too large for his compact frame, his incredibly skinny calves poking out of the ugliest basketball shorts Seokjin had ever seen, and wearing what were clearly house slippers over a pair of slouchy tube socks. his face had been pale in the harsh artificial lighting along the corridor, which had only served to make his undereye bags seem even deeper and darker than they probably would have done otherwise. he'd looked tired.

still, Seokjin had only taken one look at him and nearly swooned on the spot, right there in front of the company rep who'd been showing him around. he had a type, and he wasn't ashamed to admit that.

small and cranky and kind of a mess, Min Yoongi was exactly that type. precisely the kind of person that Seokjin tended to gravitate towards, for how he felt most at ease in their presence. no judgement, no pretenses. those were Seokjin's favorite kind of people -- plus, it didn't hurt that Yoongi in particular was undeniably very physically attractive as well, sharp eyes and button nose and pretty pouting lips. but still not exactly what one would normally consider cute, you know?

that initial judgement, however, had been proven not only false, but also shamefully short-sighted. meeting him again just that afternoon had been… eye-opening, to say the least.

in the few short hours they'd spent getting to know one another, Seokjin had come to realize that Min Yoongi was so much more than he'd originally given him credit for; yes, he was still small and cranky and a bit of a mess. but in the days since Seokjin had seen him last, Yoongi seemed to have gotten a few good nights' sleep, and it had apparently done him wonders. not only in brightening his appearance, but also his personality as well.

they'd only had the opportunity to speak briefly before, but since they'd had the time today, Yoongi had really gotten to shine. he wasn't the type to dominate the conversation or anything, and most of the time he seemed more than content to sit back and watch Seokjin and Namjoon fill the silence. but when he did speak -- Seokjin had found himself once again fighting the compulsion to swoon over the length of the couch like a delicate maiden. it would have been embarrassing, if Seokjin hadn't already come to terms with his own dramatics a long time ago.

and he'd always been thankful for that self-acceptance, as it usually saved him a lot of time that would have otherwise been wasted having an existential crisis. time that was instead much better spent realizing that Min Yoongi was exactly his type. and then some.

he was mouthy and sarcastic and delightfully arrogant about his own talent, completely unironically. he was quiet and intelligent and had the sort of keen observational skills that Seokjin could tell were innate, as opposed to learned like his own. his voice got big and loud when he spoke about something he obviously cared a great deal for, yet his body had remained curled up nearly the entire time they'd spent in the Bangtan Room. he moved constantly, however, shifting to make himself comfortable with his legs folded under himself, then criss-crossed, then drawn up so his knees were tucked snugly under his chin for a while, before repeating the cycle all over again. sometimes, though, he would go almost entirely still, eyes narrowed in focus as he listened intently to whatever Seokjin or Namjoon had to say. he bit his bottom lip and picked at his hangnails and wiggled his toes in his socks, sneakers off and lined up neatly on the floor in front of where he sat on the couch. he had a bright grin and an unbearably sexy smirk and the kind of laugh that made Seokjin's tummy go all fluttery. he was cute.

Min Yoongi was a contradiction, and a challenge. he was smart and funny and so goddamn cute, Seokjin felt it safe to say that he had a pretty decent crush on the poor guy. after only one day.

he was interesting, and Seokjin couldn't wait to learn more.

[ LATE SUMMER, 2010 ]

over the past couple of months in Seokjin's newly-established every day routine, only one thing has remained comfortingly consistent. oddly enough, that thing is Min Yoongi. or more specifically, it's the fact that Min Yoongi seems to somehow be everywhere, all the time.

like, if he hadn't personally spent over half an hour the other day listening to Yoongi and Namjoon whine about their current A/C problem - the problem being that it had died, apparently - then Seokjin would at this point probably believe that Yoongi actually lived in the company building full-time. and even then, he was absolutely sure that the guy still spent most nights sleeping under BigHit's roof anyway. Yoongi was literally just, always around.

and yes, granted, the only reason Seokjin even realized any of this in the first place was because he himself had been spending a lot of time at the company as of late. but at least he had a perfectly valid excuse; there was work to be done, and things to prove. to others, sure, but mostly to himself. and because Seokjin knew that his skills weren't where they needed to be just yet, he didn't like the thought that he might be inconveniencing anyone in the process. so he practiced and practiced and practiced. then he wiped down the foggy dance studio mirrors, and practiced some more.

Seokjin also happened to live a good handful of subway stops away, so it always just felt better to make the long trip home only after he had worn himself out. make the travel time worth it, both for his wallet and his overall spirit.

but Yoongi didn't have either of those reasons to worry about -- for one, apparently the trainee dorms were just up the block a ways, so he and Namjoon could easily come and go as they pleased. and then to hear Namjoon tell it, he and Yoongi had already been at this for years. by now, they shouldn't have felt like they had anything to prove to anyone anymore. because in Seokjin's opinion, they truly didn't. both Yoongi and Namjoon were talented enough that their presence alone automatically improved any given situation. they were in no way an inconvenience, ever.

so why.

why was Seokjin running into Min Yoongi in the halls of BigHit Entertainment at all manner of day and night. why did he regularly come across Min Yoongi doing some form of training or other in every single practice room in the building. and why did Seokjin just as frequently find him passed out asleep in most of those same places.

why did Min Yoongi practice at all, much less as often as he seemingly did, if he honestly did not need to. why.

for all of the time that he spent asking himself these questions - and it really was, just… a lot of fucking time - Seokjin was still no closer to figuring Yoongi out.

-

given the frequency with which he found it occurring, it made sense that when Seokjin eventually got caught (somewhat creepily) watching Yoongi practice, it be by the only other person who spent just as much time hanging around the practice rooms as his hyungs. and there must have been some sort of pathetically revealing expression on Seokjin's face when he turned away from the small window cut into the training room door, because Namjoon just kind of chuckles as he reaches over to slap Seokjin lightly on the back. "what, you thought you were the only one obsessed with striving toward perfection?"

Seokjin splutters a bit in his rush to deny any such thing. "oh no, no, nothing like that! i just assumed --"

"that he was all about the music?" Namjoon asks, and after a moment, Seokjin hesitantly nods in confirmation. "i mean, you're not wrong. but it's also not that simple, you know? like yeah, at his core Yoongi-hyung probably wants nothing more than to make music and have people listen to it -- but he's a realist, in the end. same as me, same as you. and he knows very well that in order to get his work out there, his best bet right now is to take this idol thing and run with it."

he pauses for a moment to really look at Seokjin, an expression he makes often enough that every time feels like Namjoon is staring into his soul or something. and it'd be kinda unsettling, maybe, if it didn't also feel almost... tender? as if he only did so with the best of intentions. an important skill for any incumbent leader, Seokjin figures.

"come on," Namjoon finally murmurs, tossing his head to gesture back up the corridor. Seokjin takes the hint and follows alongside him silently, until he finally picks their conversation back up once they've both walked a good ways away from the training room. "i know you haven't been with us for very long yet, but i'm sure even you must have noticed by now that Yoongi-hyung isn't the type to go into things without thought."

"mm," Seokjin hums in agreement, trying not to smile too fondly. "i might have noticed that, yeah."

"and once he has decided to do something, he's gonna do it right... much like yourself, i would say."

with a bashful cough, Seokjin feels his face begin to warm slightly. "oh, i wouldn't phrase it like that, but --"

"anyway," Namjoon cuts him off so smoothly, Seokjin doesn't even think to scold him for it. "sorry if none of this seems all that relevant right now, but um. just consider it something to keep in mind, you know?"

Seokjin isn't sure he does know. but he nods anyway, "sure."

"great," Namjoon smiles, cheeks dimpling endearingly. they've made it to the entrance outside the Bangtan Room, and Namjoon jerks his thumb at it over his shoulder. "well, this is me. you're heading off to one of the vocal rooms, i'm guessing -- so i'll see you later, hyung!"

and then, with a quick wink, he spins around through the door and is gone, leaving Seokjin to stand alone in the middle of the hallway like a loser. a loser that now had a lot to think about during his long train ride home later that night.

-

a few days later, and with Seokjin still no closer to figuring out the great mystery that is Min Yoongi, the man in question does something to once again throw all his calculations out of whack. and suddenly, Namjoon's strangely cryptic comments on Yoongi's character begin to make a lot more sense.

Seokjin's laying on his back, spreadeagled across the dance studio floor after another ridiculous training session and praying to whoever or whatever is listening that he get back the feeling in his legs soon, please. he's made it through the only buddhist chant he knows and is trying to remember what a catholic classmate of his had once told him about Hail Mary's, when he feels something drop onto his stomach. or multiple somethings, if the great big clatter they make on contact is anything to go by.

looking down his torso only raises more questions than it answers, however, as there now appeared to be a pair of plastic cd cases sticking to his sweat-soaked t-shirt. and when he tips his head back to look up at Yoongi, he barely gets to finish asking what's going on before Yoongi is looking away, mouth twitchy and cheeks flushed pink, nervous fingers raking through his hair.

apparently, Yoongi had taken Seokjin's willingness to learn more about hip-hop music and decided to do something about it himself. and apparently, Yoongi was embarrassed by his own proactiveness in doing so. it was adorable.

Yoongi's so flustered, actually, that Seokjin doesn't even get the chance to thank or ask anything else of him, because no sooner is Seokjin opening his mouth to speak than Yoongi has turned to walk hastily away. he gathers up his belongings all at once in a bundle against his chest, speedwalks back across the room toward the main door, and reminds Seokjin to lock up behind himself whenever he decided to head home. and just like that, Yoongi is gone. the door swings shut behind him while Seokjin is left sitting up in the same spot as before, with what was more than likely a goofy fucking grin on his face.

he's only able to resist for five full seconds - he knows exactly how long, because he counted - before he's scrambling up onto his hands and knees. his legs are still too sore from how hard he'd pushed himself during training, so Seokjin doesn't even bother trying to stand just yet and instead shamelessly crawls over to the room's sound system; he was just really curious about what was on the cds, you know? and it wasn't like there was anyone around to witness him acting foolish, anyway. so Seokjin allows himself to be just as obviously excited as he pleased… which was pretty frickin' excited, honestly.

it's just that -- a mix cd! or better yet, two mix cds!!

no one had made Seokjin anything like this in years, and the last time he'd received as much from someone that he already happened to have a crush on? was exactly never. so he figures that he was allowed his excitement… even if it means that he nearly fumbles and drops the first disc right as he's attempting to slide it into the sound system's cd player, unable to calm his hands.

he manages, in the end. and as the first song begins to play, Seokjin falls back onto his ass and just sits there. listening.

this is it, he thinks to himself over an hour later. Seokjin had found himself laying back on the floor about halfway through the tracklist, and now that the speakers had begun to whir mechanically to signal the end of disc one, he threw an arm over his eyes with an amazed giggle. this is what Namjoon had been trying to tell me, that time.

and what's more, is that he'd been absolutely right.

which, yes, it was true that Seokjin had already observed the point for himself plenty of times in the short while they had known each other. but that had all been second-hand, completely different to having in his grasp actual physical evidence of just how much Min Yoongi did not do things by halves. and that he'd gone that extra mile for Seokjin, of all people.

the thought makes his stomach go all weird and fluttery again, so even though he'd been contemplating getting up to switch out the discs, he ultimately decides against it. because if this is how he was feeling now, after only one cd, Seokjin didn't want to risk anyone walking in on him while he listened to part two.

it would hold well enough until he got home, he reasoned, where he could be as giddy and ridiculous as he wanted… which was pretty frickin' giddy and ridiculous, as it turned out.

[ AUTUMN, 2010 ]

when Yoongi finally asked Seokjin for his thoughts on the first pair of mix cds, not even a full week later, he was so ridiculously sweet about it, practically lighting up when Seokjin praised and thanked him, that no one could have blamed Seokjin for giving in to the urge to tease, if only just a little. just enough to where Seokjin could continue pulling those same small reactions from him again and again; in his defense, Yoongi had just been so goshdarn cute - shyly probing for Seokjin's feedback and then trying his best not to seem too eager either way - that as soon as it appeared, it just as quickly became one of Seokjin's favorite looks on him. a Yoongi who was quiet and thoughtful and just flustered enough to maintain only a tenuous grip on his carefully constructed facade. he was fascinating to watch.

it was something that Seokjin had come to learn rather quickly in the three months since he'd begun idol training, that Min Yoongi gave good face.

he had an expression for every situation, and even though Seokjin could tell that he sometimes put in real effort to dial himself back, Yoongi truly did tend to wear his heart on his sleeve. and as much as Seokjin had improved slightly in his singing and dancing, it was his new-found ability to so easily find and push all of Yoongi's buttons of which he was most proud.

still, he hadn't meant to go overboard with the teasing, when Yoongi eventually handed him the next mix. it was just that, well... Seokjin had been surprised? that Yoongi would literally make him a mixtape, on an actual factual cassette and everything. and it was a bit of a culture shock, honestly. so he'd just been a bit caught off guard, is all, had tried to recover his wits the way he knew best -- by turning it into a joke.

unfortunately, Yoongi either didn't find it funny or just wasn't yet as comfortable with Seokjin, as Seokjin had come to feel with him. and stepping back to look at both options objectively, Seokjin wasn't sure which one was more upsetting.

-

perhaps that should have been his first clue that this Yoongi situation would soon be heading into problem territory, but it wasn't. instead, it's only when he finds himself at the third shop of the day, tired and frustrated and being laughed at by a sales associate, that he realizes.

this is when it hits him:

Seokjin has been on his feet from the moment he woke up that morning, playing a desperate game of telephone with a handful of different confused shop employees. a game that was meant to end here, at what is supposedly an electronics store... as had been suggested to him by the kind ahjumma at the thrift store... which had been suggested by one of the section managers at the department store he'd gone to first. he's spent an entire day trekking up and down the city, only to have nothing to show for it besides this truly appalling display of disrespect.

and so it is that Seokjin is standing in the heart of this store, his feet aching and a teenaged employee honest to goodness cackling in his face, when he realizes something kind of incredible.

he likes Min Yoongi.

the most incredible part, though, is how genuinely okay Seokjin finds himself feeling about it.

like, there were definitely plenty of ways for this to go terribly, terribly wrong. of course there were. and Seokjin wasn't the type to live in denial, so. even if he were to put aside for a moment the morality and/or intelligence of pursuing a romantic relationship with a coworker and potential fellow group member, the question would still remain of whether or not Yoongi was actually into dudes to begin with; maybe he just thought Seokjin had a weird face, and that's why he was always staring. or maybe it was specifically something about Seokjin's weird fucking face, something that intimidated him to the point of blushing and stuttering and running away. maybe he straight up just did not like Seokjin at all, weird face or no.

there was no way to know, not without hearing it directly from Yoongi's mouth himself. and that didn't seem like it would be happening any time soon, so...

so! as smart and funny and cute as Yoongi may very well be, there was no way in hell that Seokjin was about to start humoring crushes on straight boys. not now, not after all these years. n o p e. better to wait it out, wait until he received confirmation either way. besides, Seokjin figured he was more than safe enough just enjoying this for what it already was - an infatuation. a fun, sweet distraction. something nice and slow amidst all the work, work, work.

and maybe, it would turn out that Yoongi didn't think Seokjin had a weird face. maybe, just maybe, Seokjin would come to find that Yoongi was infatuated with him too.

-

Yoongi has been watching him all week. and he probably thinks that he's being smooth, too, just casually observing. but Seokjin can feel those eyes lingering on him every time, following him everywhere.

if he were a less confident person, Seokjin would probably have revisited his weird face theory by now, given all the undivided attention. but with how, hmm, particular Yoongi's staring has been, practically scorching Seokjin's skin with the intensity of his gaze, he lets go of that idea fairly quickly. for now, anyway.

still, there was only so much extrasensory tingling a person could take before they snapped. so Seokjin takes it upon himself to get back his own peace of mind, asks Namjoon to make himself scarce after their next dance practice and willfully ignores the knowingly raised eyebrows he gets in return. then he mentally prepares himself to go confront Yoongi about... whatever the heck his problem is. because Seokjin can't know for sure until he asks, though he does have. suspicions.

the room is empty now that Namjoon has fucked off, so Seokjin doesn't hesitate to step up close into Yoongi's space; he'd been drying himself of the sweat he had worked up during their training, but when he takes notice of Seokjin's intentions, he seems to panic a bit, unsure what to do with himself. it's unfairly endearing, really. and even though Yoongi's hands find distraction soon enough by twisting themselves up in his small towel, his eyes can't seem to decide on where to land. they dart around Seokjin's body for a moment, sizing him up now that he was so close, and then lock onto a point somewhere in the middle of his face, before slowly trailing down to his chest and holding. it's almost as if he -- Seokjin swears that Yoongi might genuinely be holding his breath, his eyes somehow even more intense now than they'd been while watching Seokjin all week.

this time, however, the attention only brings about an embarrassing blush that warms Seokjin's face and forces him to cough pointedly to draw Yoongi's focus elsewhere.

it works in snapping him out of his near daze, at least. and when Seokjin actually gets around to confronting him about his recent slinking about, Yoongi's indignant reaction is worth the tense awkwardness of the entire encounter up to that point.

he really was just, so flippin' cute.

like, Seokjin could go ahead and call it whatever else he liked, but that's what it truly boiled down to in the end -- Yoongi was cute and Seokjin couldn't get enough of him. and maybe, just maybe, Yoongi felt the same way about him.

in any case, none of that explained how Seokjin came to find himself in the trainee dorm not even half an hour later. last he could recall, he'd been in the middle of taking another step further into Yoongi's personal space and telling him about all the trouble he had gone through in his futile attempts to find a cassette player. but now here he was, stood in front of a narrow stove in a tiny kitchen, cooking up some very sad looking ramyeon. and there was no way that simple cuteness could have distracted him so much that Seokjin wouldn't remember physically moving from one location to another, right?

… right?

not that he's complaining, of course! not at all. if anything, Seokjin feels like maybe he should be thanking someone, whatever guardian angel was out there looking over him, keeping his best interests at heart.

because until now, Seokjin had only been allowed to know BigHit's Min Yoongi, genius rapper and producer. he only knew the Yoongi whose skin seemed washed out under the harsh fluorescents of the dance studio, the Yoongi that spent most of his time hidden away in the cavernous dark of the Bangtan Room. so far, that was the only person he knew - Min Yoongi surrounded by the company staff and recording equipment and his work, work, work.

but here, now, this was someone Seokjin had never met before today.

someone that became immediately softened by his surroundings the moment they stepped through into the foyer, the kind of person to offer slippers to a guest, only to turn around and pad through the apartment in only his socks. this was someone whose skin glowed under the fuzzy yellow can lighting dotted across the oddly low ceiling, whose rumpled bed sheets gave off the same pleasantly musky scent that Seokjin recalls smelling every time Yoongi allowed him to get close enough.

this was a Min Yoongi that Seokjin hadn't known to expect; a Yoongi who became visibly embarrassed by the state of his kitchen, openly fidgety and stuttery, stumbling over both his words and his feet to do as Seokjin asked. who then followed Seokjin's instructions seriously, carefully, keeping a close watch of the water heating on the stove and hovering near enough that his hair began to curl where it fell into the steam coming from the pot, his face flushed pink in the humidity. here was someone completely different, but fundamentally the same, to the person Seokjin had spent most of the past few months with.

and being able to witness this, the shift between workplace confidence and at-home vulnerability, definitely felt like the kind of thing he should be thanking someone for, to be honest. so much so, that when Namjoon interrupts their lunch a few minutes later, Seokjin briefly considers thanking him... but before he can even begin to express his gratitude, Namjoon is gone just as soon as he came, setting Seokjin and Yoongi off giggling in his hilariously dramatic wake.

for a moment, Seokjin is distracted by how lovely his own laughter sounds next to Yoongi's, how well they mesh and harmonize. his soup nearly goes cold.

it's a distraction that follows him throughout the rest of the day - leaving him dumbfounded by the simple kindness of a borrowed sweater, and trying to steal away his attention during a round of awkward introductions not even an hour later. a distraction that pulls him up short and forces him to accept that, whether this thing with Yoongi ended up being a problem or not, there was definitely already a thing there to be had.