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Surrrounded by the shadows of trees, the noises of night, the haunting ghosts of memories, Tyler sat at the pond, starring at the toad on the stone of the middle of it, until the animal decided to call him out annoyed and slip into the water. The slight waves it caused crashed softly against the little shore, his little shore Tyler realised in the middle of another million thoughts, another trillion revelations. His. All his. Maybe he should have felt like on top of the world. Maybe he should have been sparkling happy. But all the singer could find when he risked a glancei nside of himself were fear, terror, pure anxiety. The superb meal Jenna had provided threatened to leave him in a non so superb way for a while now, and he was sure that he would double over the second he tried to move. So Tyler stayed put where he was, an intruder to the toads little world, that was better off without him trying to transform it.
"Mine." Echoing in the silence, thrown back from the trunks around him his voice sounded so strange, so alien, and Tyler couldn't get rid of the feeling it was the word himself changing it. His. A part of him. Something he created. A crack broke the silence and startled him, pushed him out of his nauseousness, the adrenalin pulling his body to stand before his brain could even catch up. The relexation went the same way, his muscles going soft, his physics recognising the other before his eyes even did. Josh hadn't tried to be silent, he had known he would startle him anyway, and he did no efford to try to make things better too. He was just there, in the right moment, like he always was and Tyler added to wonder how he did this to his spinning thoughts. Crouching to the ground again the singer ran his fingers through the cold water, ignoring the pleading cry of an owl nearby, probably warning all the other nightly creatures of their presence. Josh watched him, for a while, before he sighed and found an old trunk to sit on, his jeans causing a hard rasping sound on the dry bark.
The drummer had always known when to speak and when words were useless. Every now and then his friend was too locked up in his head to lead a real conversation, and in times like this it was better to let the gestures do the talking. He reached out for the youngers shoulders in front of him and pulled him back, Tyler not resisting his touch at all, until the singer was settled between his legs, his weight comfortly pushed up. Driving his hand through the youngers hair was a movement he had restrained himself from for a long time, back then, when they hadn't been ok with each other. Now it was a basic, as it was one of the many tools he had to calm Tyler down, without being afraid of him suspecting other intentions behind. They were far beyond that point now, and there was no need to explain or be sorry for anymore.
"Is she ok?" Tyler asked, half muffled as he pressed his face into the others thigh, an attempt to try to hide from a world that was just to overwhelming at times. Closing his eyes Josh hummed and resumed to pet him, glad that he spoke at all. "She'll be. She's upset, of course...but Maddy is with her." "She called Maddy?" shifting a little Tyler leaned his front against the olders skin and raied his hands above his shoulders, offering them, soon feeling the drummers secure grip on them. Holding on. To you, always. "No. I called her. She knows what to say I guess." "She'll know better then me." Josh could practically hear the younger gnawing his lip, and fought hard to ignore the urge to lean down and kiss him just to stop that cruel habit of self insult Tyler had never been able to stop himeslf from. "I'm an asshole." Wishing he could tell his friend otherwise the drummer sighed. "Yes...you are. A little. I mean...I understand what's going on, alright? I know exactly what you're scarred of, and I get that you think you are not good enough for this. But...she really needs you now, Ty. They both need you. And as hard as the last months were...it's time for you to come back to us."
Tyler had closed his eyes at that point, as there was not much to see in the darkness around them. At least there where some little sparks in the one inside of his mind. Letting the past half year pass to his inner eyes he felt desperation building. The day he realised that it was getting bad again. The first time he lied to Josh. When he started to take stronger meds and Jenna found out. The night she decided to stop their attempts to become a family, until he was good again. The moments, days, situations where he just couldn't function, shut them all out, got aggressive, passive, died inside. All of it exploded inside his mind with the image of his wife, crying, unhappy down to the point, telling him she would have failed. Only one time she had forgotten to take that pill. Only one time it was her mistake, not his. And life couldn't have choosen a worse point in time to go it's twisted ways. Sensing that the younger was about to get lost in himself again Josh leaned down and hugged him, placed his chin on his head, tried to be the barrier he needed to seperate himself from the chaos around him.
"We've already fought this together in the past. We can do it again." Nearly asleep now Tyler felt himself slipping into weired dreams, and didn't care that they were still out in the open. Josh was here. He would be alright. "They are so lucky to have you, Joshua. And I don't deserve you at all." he whispered, beefore he blanked out, his strained muscles finally let him sleep. Sliding gown the trunk, so he could grab the other thigther and get him comforted better Josh realised a scrunched up piece of paper in his friends hand. Slowly untangling his fingers the drummer snatched it and flattened it on the youngers chest. Only a small white point in a see of black. And still...maybe the only hope Tyler had left.