Chapter Text
Choi Seungcheol, being the oldest of the group and overall leader, has the biggest responsibility. He was a trainee for 6 years, training with his seniors, almost becoming a member, but at the end he watched as his close friend debuted, just without him. Lowering his self-esteem just a tiny bit, but had learned that the company was planning to debut another boy group. Nevertheless he was happy for his friends, wondering at the same time when we he debut too.
Seungcheol was the longest and oldest trainee, now that his friends debuted. He felt responsible for the younger trainees, doing his absolute best to guide them and encourage them. But how long can he keep saying that they were debuting soon? How long can he keep encouraging them as he felt dejected at the same time?
Seventeen wasn’t just any word. It meant family for Seungcheol. He was the eldest of seventeen trainees. Each and every one had loads of respect for Seungcheol has he led them with great passion. As time passes by seventeen has now turned into thirteen, as four trainees decide to leave because they couldn’t wait any longer or that they were just too young and wanted to focus on their studies.
It was now official, being appointed of Seventeen’s leader. He felt so much happiness, but at the same time, a huge responsibility was left on his shoulders. Becoming the leader had his mind running through different scenarios on how he could possibly fuck up. He did not want to see his group mates see his struggles, painting a fake smile as much as he could. Hoping no one would see how he sets himself down. He wants to be the greatest leader the twelve boys could ask for. So for now on, Seungcheol vowed his duty to be the greatest leader possible and a person his members can come to.
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It was one of those days where he felt like shit. Everything he thought of was negative, on the verge of tears on how much he was thinking. He couldn’t stop the flow of tears streaming down his cheeks, tears falling on his pants creating a stain. He sat in the practice room, without the lights on so it wouldn’t look like it was occupied. He sat at one of the corners, a regular occurring incident.
It was less than 5 minutes of being alone, silently weeping his hardest, when the sound of soft shuffling could be heard outside of the practice room. In less than 3o seconds, the creaking sound of the door could be heard, as an angel appeared. The angel part was true, as it was the one person who could see the doubts Seungcheol had.
Seungcheol watched as the younger had slipped through the door, slowly closing it and faced the leader. In less than ten second, Seungcheol had been pulled into a strong hold, hugging even tighter and his tears flowed out even more. The other boy knew all of the leader’s insecurities and doubts.
The oldest had his head laying on lap on the other boy, his tears slowing down but continued to cry. The younger was stroking the leader’s hair as he whispered sweet and kind things he knew the oldest loved hearing.
“Everything you have done, has been done with the greatest way possible, everything you’ve done is not forgotten and I will remind everyday if possible”
“Whatever you’re thinking of is not true, you have done so fucking much for Seventeen, and I- We are forever thankful that you are our leader”
“You’re rapping abilities are out of this world, the passion I see is what motivates me, and not the mention your singing abilities are great. It’s something I can listen for hours, you’ve always been a talented bean.”
“The doubts of you being the worst leader should be erased. ‘You are the greatest leader we could ask for’ should be etched in your mind forever.” The tears have stopped fully. A tiny and grateful smile was starting to appear. Seungcheol could always rely on the younger even though it should be the opposite.
It was one of the first times Seungcheol had snuck away from the group and settled in the practice rooms, way back before they debuted. Back then he had always had the little thoughts that haunted his mind, almost as if it was true. But one member saw how the leader was feeling and followed him. The younger had found the elder crying, rushing towards him, the elder had poured every single one of his thought roaming his mind.
The younger listed to each and every one of them, as he listed off whatever made him sad, had the younger crying because he wanted the leader to think of nothing but happiness. So the two sat there in the dark, the younger saying every positive thing about the leader as the oldest listened to each and every one, forever grateful that there was someone there for him at these times. The younger is his mental pillar, and the person he can rely to the most.