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Using the hide-a-key, he lets himself into the familiar apartment, taking in the changes to his surroundings. It looks different than the last time. It's been almost seven months since he was here last. Seven months since they've seen each other or even spoken to the other. No texts, no phone calls, no Skype or Facebook. No communication what so ever. Not that Jinyoung didn't try. He tried many times. But never got any kind of response out of the other. It hurt.
He glances around the room, taking in all the changes, the subtle ones and the drastic ones too. The couches are gone. Tv is on the other side of the room and it's smaller than the last one. The carpet has been steam cleaned. He wonders if the other is okay and why he's changed so many things. Nothing seems familiar anymore. It's all so… Different. A sad sigh escapes Jinyoung's lips.
He wanders over to the kitchen table. Memories of breakfasts shared together come flooding back to him. Laughter. Planning. He misses those times. Turning towards the fridge he can't help but notice the pile of dishes and glasses by the sink that look as though they haven't been done in weeks. He lets out a soft laugh. So typical of him to just leave the dishes around until they pile up, he thinks to himself.
Looking at the fridge Jinyoung notices that most of the magnets and decorations that had once covered its surface are now missing. He grabs ahold of the handle and pulls open the refrigerator door. He looks around its insides silently noting, Out of milk as usual. A smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "At least some things never change," he muses aloud.
He closes the door to the refrigerator and turns towards the sink. Picking up a fairly clean glass, he fills it with water and walks over to the window. Judging by the lack of color on the plant in the windowsill he doubts that Jaebum has watered the poor thing in a few days. Jinyoung empties the contents of the glass into the clay pot and softly whispers to the plant. "Poor guy. I've revived you once, I'll do it again. You just need a little more water and a little less neglect." He turns his back on the plant and returns the glass to its rightful spot by the sink.
He ponders a moment, trying to decide whether or not to go outside and have a cigarette but mentally chides himself, You've put it off long enough. And besides, you're trying to quit, remember. Finally, he walks away from the kitchen and turns toward Jaebum's bedroom door. He reaches out for the door handle. Nervousness overwhelms him and he takes a step back away from the door, as if afraid of what hides behind it. "Deep breath… It's all okay."
He steps forward, reclaiming the doorknob in his hand and quickly turns it and pushes the door open.
A sigh of relief escapes his lungs as he looks around the room. At least one room still seems familiar, he thinks to himself. Just as in the kitchen, more memories come rushing back. Their first kiss, the first time they made love, the last night they spent together just cuddling. Simultaneously, he shakes off the memories and loneliness he feels.
He sits on the edge of the elder's bed as he pauses a moment to regain his composure. God how he misses him! To be that much in love with someone and not see or hear from them in seven months…. It kills. Jinyoung stands and moves away from the bed and walks towards the conjoined bathroom. Out of habit, he opens the cabinets under the sink. His shampoos and conditioners still sit on the floor of the cabinet. The smile returns to his face. At least he knows that Jaebum hasn't tried to erase him from his life.
He turns back and re-enters the bedroom. His eyes shift around the room and he notices that Jaebum's laptop is not on his desk. He usually takes it with him to school. It's almost six o'clock. Jinyoung wonders how long he's going to be gone for. Scanning the room he notices a calendar is taking the place on the wall where an old, framed poster used to hang. He reminisces momentarily about the night Jaebum drunkenly knocked it off the wall while trying to close the door, and how they joked the next morning that it was because things got too hot and heavy between them.
Returning his attention to the calendar, he sees that it isn't even turned to the right month. He walks forward to fix the mistake that he's sure has gone unnoticed when his former lover gets into one of his phases, but stops short. Paper-clipped at the very top of the page is a picture Jinyoung's never seen before… A picture of him. He doesn’t remember taking this photo at all, but the scene looks vaguely familiar. Carefully, so as to not damage the strange photograph, he removes it from its place on the calendar.
Retaking his seat on the edge of the bed, he stares at the picture, trying to figure out why it seems familiar and also trying to figure out why he can't remember taking it. As he sits there puzzling over these two questions, and now over what this could possibly mean as well, he hears a noise and notices a silhouette appear in the doorway. He looks up, eyes locking with Jaebum's. A mass of confusion and emotion clouding Jinyoung's, while Jaebum's eyes switch between surprise of seeing the younger there in his room to concern at the look on his face.
He steps into the room, walking towards Jinyoung, and stops just a foot in front of him, staring down into Jinyoung's beautiful eyes that regarded him with uncertainty from the moment he appeared in the doorway.
"What's wrong?" Jaebum questions.
"Explain this… Explain to me where you got this photo and why I don't remember taking it?" Jinyoung fiercely returns, his voice barely audible.
"You don't remember that day?" Jaebum seems a little taken aback. A small frown spreading over his face and a crease furrowing his handsome brow.
"No… I don't think so." The younger seems even more confused now. "Should I?"
"I would certainly hope so." Jaebum counters, growing mildly frustrated with the younger man's unspoken accusations. "Look at the background… Does anything seem familiar? Anything that rings a bell?"
"I've looked at the photo for nearly a half an hour now… Yes, it looks familiar… No, I can't figure…" Jinyoung cuts himself off. Staring at the picture, he noticed a few things that he overlooked before… Things that brought new memories back. "Ohh…."
"Do you remember now?" Jaebum places a finger under Jinyoung's chin and lifts his face up. Their eyes meet, and the slightly smaller male nods embarrassedly. Jaebum gently pulls the latter up so they are standing just inches apart.
"Yes," Jinyoung whispers. "That's the train station where you picked me up the first time I came down to stay for the weekend."
Jaebum nods but says nothing.
"But I still don't understand why you have this picture or how you got it…" Jinyoung is merely curious now.
Jaebum looks away as he runs his hand through his hair, seeming slightly embarrassed and flustered. He flashes the younger a sheepish grin and begins to explain.
"I went to pick you up from the train station that day, and I was anxiously waiting for you. When I got your text and saw your train pull in I began to look for you. When I finally saw you, I could tell that you hadn't seen me yet. You just looked so radiantly beautiful, and without really thinking I pulled out my phone and snapped that picture of you. I forgot about it for a while. And then these last few months… I was so miserable without you. One day I remembered the photo and downloaded it and had it printed. It's been on my calendar ever since." He glanced at the now empty space on the calendar that the photo had previously occupied.
Jinyoung's gaze follows the elders, and he realized what month the calendar was turned to. December. The month that he had made his first trip to see Jaebum. The month the picture was taken. Turning back to look at Jaebum, he notices that his eyes were already fixated on Jinyoung. Waiting patiently for him to say something. Anything.
So he does. "But why? Why do you keep it?" He knows that he probably shouldn't have asked, but he needs to know. Jinyoung fears that he won't like the answer the elder is about to give him.
"Because. It belongs here. I keep it to remind me." Jaebum sounds almost defensive now, and Jinyoung immediately regrets having asked. But Jaebum's voice softens and he continues. "I keep it to remind me that I should be with you. That we should be together." His hand cups Jinyoung's cheek and turns the younger's face towards him as he gently forces Jinyoung to look at him. "I was miserable without you for the past seven months. Can you honestly say that you weren't miserable too?" The smaller male shakes his head as tears begin to stream down his cheeks.
Seeing that the other is too emotional to speak, Jaebum continues. "I was a wreck without you here... Without you anywhere near me. I need you by my side. And I realized something these last seven months."
Quietly, tears still streaming down his cheeks, Jinyoung's voice cracks out, "What's that?"
Softly wiping away the younger's tears, Jaebum replies. "That I'm in love with you, and I don't want to spend another day of my life without you. I know that I'll never be able to reclaim these past months that we spent apart, but I don't want us to go on like this anymore."
"But what happened? I don't understand why you shut me out." Jinyoung questions and Jaebum could see the mixture of emotions in the younger's eyes. Hurt, confusion, sorrow, and uncertainty.
"I knew I'd have to explain myself eventually but I'm glad that we can get this out in the air early on," Jaebum states. "I wasn't ready for a real relationship at the time. And I knew that you were and that you were waiting for me to change my mind. I didn't think I would. At least not anytime soon. And I didn't like the feeling of being pressured into something that I wasn't ready for."
"I didn't mean to make you feel rushed! I'm so sorry! I was trying as patiently as I could to wait for you to change your mind. I'm so sorry…" Jinyoung interrupts Jaebum in a rushed jumble of words. His tears starting to subside.
"I know, darling. Hush. It's okay." Jaebum runs a finger down the side of younger's left cheek, drying any remaining tears. "It's not your fault. I apologize. I got scared, shut you out, and basically ran away. I'll admit, though, that I was a bit surprised to find you hear when I got home."
"I'm sorry for showing up uninvited. But I was worried about you," Jinyoung explains. "You never replied to any of my attempts to contact you. I didn't know what to think."
"No need to apologize, sweetheart. I was just surprised, that's all." Jaebum smiles at latter, and he can hear Jinyoung's breath catch in his throat. The younger smiles back and then leans up to kiss the elder.
Jaebum breaks the kiss first, and his expression seems rather solemn. "There is something I have to know…" He notices the look of panic that swept across Jinyoung's face. He laughs, "Don't look so scared."
"What is it that you want to know?" Confusion now replacing the panicked look on Jinyoung's beautiful face.
"I love you. Move in with me?" he inquires. "I want to fall asleep every night with you in my arms, and I want to wake up every morning with you curled up next to me. Please? I need you with me. Forever. I know this isn't a proposal, but I'll work my way up to it. I promise. Just please say that you'll move in with me."
"Yes! A hundred times yes! I love you too Jaebum-hyung! Nothing on earth would make me happier than to be with you." Jinyoung exclaims, throwing his arms around Jaebum's neck.
"Oh thank god! I was so scared you were going to say no… I promise I'll make up for everything. I love you so much, Jinyoungie. Thank you! You have no idea how incredibly happy you just made me." He pulls Jinyoung away, holding him an arm's length away from him, so he could smile down at the younger.
"Not nearly as happy as you made me. Or as I'm about to make you." Jinyoung purrs as he pulled Jaebum in for a lingering kiss.
The end