Chapter Text
There is something tragic in Deku’s all-consuming desire to be a hero. It's a fire that never stopped burning in his eyes, not after he was designated Omega, the preconceived weakest gender. That encompassed, statistically speaking, the weakest Quirks and had the highest percentage of Quirkless. Not when he was the diagnosed Quirkless, and not even when Katsuki bullied him into submission.
Maybe that eternal fire, and simultaneous sorrow, is what made Katsuki want to break him. Force him to cry, and run away to his mother. Singe his hair, or have an explosion pop by his ear, causing a flinch. Or maybe, he just liked the feeling of being above Deku. Just liked that Deku was consumed with him in those moments, what he was doing, thinking of nothing else. Wide-eyes looking at his tormentor, nothing else even flitting through them but Kacchan. Nicknaming him Deku, another facet of his twisted desire, ensured that every time someone called him that, his brain linked back to Katsuki. That he could never go a day without thinking about him. That he associated his name with Katsuki. That, Katsuki thought, was a distinct possibility. Either way, Katsuki’s fascination with the bookish kid was unshakeable.
In some twisted form of affection created by an arrogant and presumptuous 7-year-old, Katsuki thought that by destroying Deku’s dream, that he could save him from future heartbreak. Furthermore, he thought by assuming that dream himself, it would somehow alleviate the pain of Deku being, well, useless. And also put him on a pedestal so high that Deku would never, in a million years, forget him. Or see past him. Of course, these thoughts were not made consciously as a child, especially not as he ran around the playground lighting Deku’s dark, curly hair on fire.
When Deku’s decision to apply to U.A. was announced in class, Katsuki was filled the kind of rage the people associated with chasing after and repeatedly bulldozing a car that cut you off. Hot, loud, fiery. Why didn't Deku know that, as Quirkless, he was soft and would be easily devoured by U.A.’s cutting edge academic approaches, and the other students themselves. Incinerating his notebook was meant to be a sign that he should never even step foot on the sidewalk in front of the goddamn academy.
During the time the sludge monster had ensnared him, and was slowly suffocating the life out of him, while he was desperately trying to explode the asshole off of him, Katsuki imagined Deku. And then, in a burst of green and black, he was there running to him, tears in his eyes. Screaming “Kacchan”, high and terrified. The distraction Deku gave sludge-fuck was enough to grant him a second of respite, and more importantly, oxygen. In that moment, he had never been so pleased with Deku.
Yes, of course Deku would run straight to his own fucking doom to save me. He would for a fucking dying bird.
He realized then and there how stupid of a child he had been, trying to destroy that little boy’s dream. Deku was just as stubborn, if not more, than he was. In that moment, as All Might obliterated sludge-fuck, he wished for nothing more than Deku to have a Quirk of his own. After he could breathe, and after the pansy-ass superheroes praised his inability to escape and hammered Deku with reprimand after reprimand, he wanted nothing more than to apologize and ask Deku for forgiveness, but he realized that was only a measly 2% of his psyche. He was a prideful, arrogant, temperamental asshole. He didn't do apologies. He burnt shit to the ground. And Deku, the small little weak boy that he had been infatuated with since he saw the curly haired brat walk down his street, would have to fucking deal with it. After all, he’d be damned if he ever let anyone touch what was his. Poor Deku, he thought, he’ll have to deal with all of me until we die, the impertinent mate that I am.
After clearing it all up with Deku, reaffirming that he did not need saving, he hummed a little melody on his way home, mind swirling with all of the possibilities of their “courtship”.
Izuku had no actual problem in being an Omega. It was just a part of him, something innate and steady, akin to his heartbeat. While he may fight fate on the Quirkless side, he embraced being an Omega. It was as natural to him as taking down meticulous notes on each and every superhero.
Besides, Izuku quite liked all the nice soaps and body washes that Omegas got to use. The titles always brought a small smile to his face, “Show that Alpha who’s the boss!”, “Ready to hole up in your room for a week? Don't forget to shower ;)”. To compound his infatuation, some might say, with Omega toiletries, he liked that something about him was a little out of the ordinary. Omegas make up about 15% of the world’s population, and of that 4-5% are male. For Izuku being a male Omega was something to cling to when he thought he would fade into the back drop, becoming a faceless extra among people that can fly.
For a while he treated being Omega as his Quirk. But then he wasn't the only one in the school. Or his grade. Or even his class. For some reason, in his neighborhood there was the highest percentage of Omega’s born in about 75 years. And so even in his designation, he faded into the crowd.
He’d heard other Omega girls talk about their heats- and the severity of them. It was then that he was so grateful that his seemed to be rather moderate. He couldn't leave the house or really function as a normal human being but he wasn't tearing at the walls and screaming in pain. That may have to be related to Kacchan’s influence, as it has been shown in some “cases” when an Alpha shows distaste in an Omega, their heats are weaker to not offend said Alpha. The people that conduct those specific studies are questionable at best, malpractice suits at the worst, and heavily lean towards Alpha supremacy. Izuku let a breath out and tried to get out of that line of thought before he sat and thought about the dynamics of Alpha and Omega’s in modern day Japan for the rest of the day. Calm down, Izuku thought to himself, slow down. We are just sitting through a scintillating math lesson. No need fly off the rails and think about upsetting topics.
While Izuku really did enjoy class, when his mind started to wander, especially to his dreams and aspirations, he found it only too dour and depressing to refocus on whatever lesson was being taught to him. And most of the time, the teacher never noticed when he drifted, unless he was mumbling to himself, due to his lack of presence. When his homeroom teacher announced to the class that his top choice was U.A., he thought he would die from humiliation. Or at least cry a little. Izuku found it highly ironic that the only time someone really paid attention to him was when they were trying to ridicule him.
What none of them understood, not even his mother all that much, was that he had specific constants in his life. His mother, being Quirkless, Kacchan, being an Omega, and his never ending dream to be a hero. Not just any hero, not a police officer as it had been recommended to him over and over, but a pro-hero the same caliber as All-Might. Not in terms or popularity, or ything like that, but in respect to the people he can save. When someone is down, hurt, in trouble or otherwise incapacitated his legs move before his mind does. For Izuku, being a hero fits.
As a child, first came being a hero. Always. But second, in a far-far away dream, slightly hazy, was a family. And while he didn't fully understand the logistics, he knew the who. And even the why. Kacchan had been the center of his universe as a child, All Might aside. There was no one that he felt the same attraction to, that he knew would protect him (and now looking back, any children they had), and frankly speaking Kacchan has an energy to him that is painfully unique. His incredibly brash attitude didn't bother him all that much either, as a kid he perceived it as bullying the one you like. All the girls in class had talked about it, the TV shows even had large segments rationalizing it. Plus, when he got on the internet, there was so many different stories of Alpha/Omega pairs mating and having happy relationships with those that taunted them.
But then the bullying didn't let up. It didn't subside, or vanish. Oh no, it only got worse. Deku was belittled and looked down upon. Kacchan might not always say what he’s feeling but, his dark, angry eyes do a good enough job of getting the message across. As they entered middle school, and Deku faded even more into the scenery, they interacted less. He didn't hear ‘Deku’ bellowed down the halls, or called on the way home. He felt invisible even to the boy that he had known practically since birth, and once upon a time gotten along well with.
And while doctors can distinguish genders based on DNA after they are born, the scents that others use as indicators don't fully activate until around eleven to thirteen. Once everyone’s scents are fully developed, they ranged from deliciously intriguing to downright disgusting. Sometimes, it’s better to just walk down a different hall and avoid certain classmates, especially because Izuku had an incredibly sensitive nose. And for a long time Izuku watched all of them interact, the flirting, the looks, all of the secret hushed plans to meet by the gym. They were in on something that he couldn’t touch- and no longer just because of Quirks. Something that he should have-but didn't.
Scenting is a very important part of society, and is commonly used as a tool by mostly everyone. Anyone with scent de-sensitivity was both blessed and cursed, they can escape the cacophony of scents but they also miss out on subtle nuances in any group of people. In classes, most people huddle around Alphas because they have the strongest scents, and are typically more dominant. Strong scents bring along a sense of security and safety, and people inherently seek them out. Izuku was never surprised when he arrived to school to see half the class clustered around Kacchan. Because of course, Kacchan had to have the strongest, most consuming scent physically possible. So even when Izuku went home, closed his door and curled into ball under layers of blankets- Katsuki Bakugou followed him. It didn't help much that Kacchan’s scent was the first to manifest.
Izuku waited for his scent. It took a painfully long time to manifest, seemingly isolating him even more. Until one day as he was lazing around in his room, he noticed a very delicate, breezy scent. Almost like the ocean, as it too ebbed and flowed. It would never be something that anyone could notice in the hustle and bustle of life. Quiet, soft-spoken and unobtrusive. When he went to class, with all the loud, powerful obvious scents, his would be crushed in to nothingness. And that was fine, because finally, after he had spent so long waiting for anything, the scent arrived. And while it is slight and fragile, the people that truly cared, that focused on him, would be able to distinguish it. He was no longer some strange in-between thing. Better yet even, it was something that could never in a million years be taken from him.
Putting those memories back into a small cubby in the back of his brain, he refocused on the present. After the mud incident, Kacchan has almost completely left me alone, Izuku realized. Immediately his heart fell. As a very small child, if nothing else, Kacchan talked to him. They may not have been kind words, or even genuine, but sometimes when Kacchan had forgotten about Quirks and designations, they could laugh and roll around in the mud. It was in those moments that Izuku’s heart tightened painfully, at the time he had no inkling as to why.
There was a gentle, caring side to Kacchan buried deep, deep inside him. That piece of him only proceeded to burrow and hide itself away the more adults praised his Quirk. Izuku didn't fully mind the bullying, because if it wasn't Kacchan, Lord knows it just would have been someone else. And in a twisted, cracked way, it felt like a special thing between Izuku and Kacchan, a space that both could occupy and interact in.
But now, after his valiant attempt to save Kacchan, and becoming All Might’s new trainee, their interaction was cut to class time only. And even then, they no longer sat next to each other or even close. They were separated by an entire expanse of a room. On the days that Izuku is dead tired, and just wants something it feels like the Pacific Ocean has opened up between them. Catching up seemed impossible, even with half the beach clean. Succeeding was a mere dream, at this point. A glimmer of a thought on the horizon. But still, the idea of being on equal footing was still a desire that consumed. That made him shiver in delight when just thinking of it being a mere chance.
Because maybe, just maybe, if Izuku worked hard enough, not only could he be a hero, but his other small, miniscule dream, shrouded in doubt and insecurity could also come true. Maybe, Kacchan would see him as more than useless. More than a Quirkless kid stumbling behind him.