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Who Would I Be Without You

Summary:

During the fight with Uma and her crew, Evie gets badly injured. Mal does everything she can to save her girlfriend's life because she can't cope with the idea of losing Evie-not after everything they've been through together.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

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The clash of swords echoed through the docks. Mal and Uma glared at each other as they became a whirlwind of movement and metal on metal. Nearby, Evie danced and twirled with all the elegance of a queen as she knocked Uma’s crew, one after the other, into the sea. Mal watched out of the corner of her eye as she moved with such poise, She couldn’t help thinking that even here, in the midst of battle, Evie moved as though life was her stage, and she was the leading act. The glance to Evie gave Uma just enough time to land a blow to Mal’s shoulder that left a shallow gash, so she returned her attention to the fight.

It took everything Mal had to keep Uma at bay. Her arms ached from swinging her sword, and her lack of sleep made her clumsy. When Carlos threw the last smokebomb she couldn't help feeling relieved. The others raced into the tunnel that led to the garage and lingered only for a moment to give Uma a grin that was equal parts wicked and triumphant. Hatred burned in the young sea witch’s eyes, and it made a dark glee bubble inside Mal.

She turned and thundered down the tunnel into the garage where the other VKs were already piling into the limo. Almost all of them. Evie sat nearby on the ground hunched over with her face contorted in pain as she clutched at her side.

The sight made panic claw it’s way up Mal’s throat. She couldn't’ breathe. The world spun and she had to clutch the rusted tunnel for support, but she knew she had to move. Evie was hurt.

“I don’t know what happened,” said a helpless Ben as he tried in vain to pull Evie back to her feet.

Mal lurched forward and fell to her knees before Evie. “E,” Mal leaned forward and cupped Evie’s face in her hands. Everything around them seemed to blur as she searched the girl’s face for some indication of what was wrong. Evie’s eyes were unfocused and glossy. Mal had never seen them so dull and lifeless, and it terrified her-a concept Mal was not accustomed

“E, look at me,” Mal’s voice shook, but she tried not to look as scared as she felt. “What’s wrong?”

Evie opened and closed her mouth as though she wanted to speak, but couldn’t manage to find the right words. Beads of sweat had started to form on her forehead as she leaned heavily on Mal.

“Look at me, E,” Mal insisted as Evie’s brown eyes wandered and rolled with no clear indication of what she was looking for.The sound of Mal’s voice seemed to bring her back to awareness and her gaze settled on Mal’s worried eyes.

“I didn’t know it would hurt this much.” Evie’s words were labored and breathy as if it took tremendous effort to speak.

“What? What did they do to you, E?” Mal demanded. Desperate to figure out the cause of Evie’s pain, Mal’s eyes raked up and down her body until she noticed the streaks of blood seeping through the hand Evie pressed to her side.

The anger that had been grown inside her shriveled away as her ears started to ring and fear made the hands she held Evie up with shake. “E, I need to see what happened, okay?”

Taking great care to be as gentle as possible, Mal peeled Evie’s hand away and found a deep stab wound the blue leather of her dress black with blood. Ben gasped and looked as if he was going to be sick. Mal gritted her teeth and tried to peel away the ripped fabric to assess the damage, but Evie moaned and tried to shove her hand away.

“I’m sorry, E.” Mal looked up at Ben. “We have to go.”

“Yeah, we do.” He wasn’t looking at Mal. She followed his gaze to find shadows approaching in the distance. Uma and her crew were on their way, and they were moving fast. Jay honked the horn impatiently.

“Help me,” Mal ordered as she hooked one of Evie’s arms around her neck. Ben followed her example and together they managed to support most of Evie’s weight between them. Evie moaned in protest and her eyes rolled back into her head. Mal tried not to jostle her too much, but they didn’t have time to be gentle.

“Mal,” she whimpered. Her head lolled against Mal’s shoulder, and the ache in Mal’s chest flared up again.

“I’ve got you E. Just hold on.”

“We’re going to get help,” Ben added, but Evie didn’t seem to hear any of it.

Lonnie jumped out of the car and her eyes widened in horror when she saw Evie’s blood-soaked clothes. “Oh my god, what happened?”

“They got Evie. Come on, help us get her in.” Together Mal, Ben, and Lonnie managed to ease Evie into the limo just as the pirates swarmed the garage. Jay peeled around the corner and left them behind shouting and shaking their fists in rage.

“Give me your jacket,” Mal ordered and held her hand out to Lonnie. “I need it to slow the bleeding.

Lonnie didn’t argue and wiggled out of her jacket as fast as she could. “How do you know to do that?” she asked.

“We’re from the Isle, remember? Kinda gotta know how to treat your own injuries. No one else is going to do it for you,” Carlos piped up so Mal didn’t have to. She was busy pressing the jacket to Evie’s wound. Blood soaked through it too fast, and it made Mal’s stomach churn with panic. Evie had already lost too much blood. They needed to get back to Aurodon before it was too late.

If they had stayed on the Isle she might have been able to find the supplies they needed to close up the wound, at least until they could get Evie back to Aurodon and a proper hospital. But they hadn’t had a choice, Uma and her crew would have found them. Now Mal sat in the limo with nothing but Lonnie’s jacket to try to keep Evie from bleeding out in front of her eyes.

She sat with Evie tucked against her side and put as much pressure as she could manage on the wound. Despite her effort Evie was fading fast, but Mal refused to give up. After everything they had been through together on the Isle and then in Aurodon, Mal couldn’t lose her. Evie had such a bright future ahead of her. She deserved to get to see it.

The others tried to talk to her. She heard the sounds of muffled voices around her, but it sounded like someone had stuffed cotton into her ears. Her mouth was dry and hot tears stung the corners of her eyes, but she blinked them back. She was stronger than this. She had to be for Evie.

“Stay with me,” she murmured and pressed a kiss to the top of Evie’s head. Her eyes were closed and her head rested on Mal’s shoulder. She almost looked as though she could simply be sleeping, but the blood soaking into Lonnie’s jacket reminded Mal otherwise.

“Mal?” her voice was weak as her eyes searched wildly for Mal.

Mal ran her fingers up and down Evie’s arm and pulled her closer. “I’m here. You’re going to be okay.”

“Mal,” she called out as her eyes snapped open. She struggled against the grip Mal had on her as though she needed to be free. She reached out and tangled her fingers into the material of Mal’s shirt. “I don’t want the last thing I remember to be the Isle.” Her voice cracked and a sob escaped from her. It shook her whole body.

“It won’t be. We’re going to get help,” Mal swore as she tried to calm Evie who fought with surprising strength to get away from Mal. Glancing out the window Mal saw they were about to pass over the bridge that would take them back to Aurodon.

“We’re so close. Just hold on, E. I need you to hold on.” Evie stilled, but weak sobs still leaked out of her between whimpers of pain.

“Can’t you drive any faster?” Mal demanded with more venom in her voice than she’d intended. The angry beast inside her reared its head, but she had to remind herself it wasn’t directed at Jay. Her anger was for Uma and her gang for what they had done to the only person who had ever really cared about her. Evie was what made her good, was what made her worth anything. If she lost Evie, she lost herself.

When Jay slammed on the brakes the car screeched to a halt outside of the school. The doors of the car swung open. Everyone piled out.

“Carlos, get Fairy Godmother,” Mal ordered as she and Jay pulled Evie out of the car and laid her down in the grass next to the lane. Carlos didn’t hesitate and sprinted off with Dude at his heels. Mal dropped down next to Evie and put all of her weight on the wound, doing the only thing she could to keep Evie alive.

“Mal,” Ben tried, but Mal shot him a deadly glare. If he hadn’t brought Evie to the isle in the first place none of this would have happened. She knew it wasn’t right to blame him for this, but she didn’t have it in her to think logically.

“Go. Please, just go.”

He looked like he wanted to protest, but he just gave Evie one final worried glance before turning and disappearing into the school.

Jay walked up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. They have doctors here. They’ll be able to save her.”

Mal sniffled. “Yeah. It’ll be okay. She’s going to be okay.” Even as she said it, Mal didn’t believe it. There was so much blood.

“Mal, we’re going to go find King Adam and Queen Belle, so we can explain what happened. They’ll want to know,” Lonnie said, her voice pulling Mal back into the present and away from the memory of rounding the corner to find Evie doubled over in pain.

“Yeah, okay,” Mal nodded, but she already couldn’t remember what Lonnie had said. “I’m going to—going to stay with her.”

Jay gave her a final pat on the shoulder, then he and Lonnie ran up the steps of the school to find the king and queen. Mal was left alone in the darkness with a dying Evie bleeding all over the grass, her hair splayed around her like a blue halo. She looked every bit the princess she’d always wanted to be. Even as she lay dying here on the lawn she still looked more beautiful than anyone Mal had ever seen.

“Please don’t leave me,” Mal moaned as she brushed her thumb across Evie’s cheek, leaving a streak of blood in its wake. “I can’t survive without you.”

“Mal! Mal! What happened?” A frantic voice shouted from across the lane. She looked up to find Fairy Godmother rushing to her, faster than Mal had ever seen her move before. Carlos followed close behind with worry making his usually cheerful eyes dull.

Mal bit her lip and tightened her hold on Evie. “They got Evie.”

Fairy Godmother kneeled next to Mal and pressed two fingers against Evie’s throat. Her concern deepened. “Help is on the way.”

Mal nodded through her tears and pressed Lonnie’s jacket tighter against Evie’s wound. It would be okay. The doctors would help her. This wasn’t like the Isle. People didn’t die here.

Fairy Godmother gently nudged her hands away and took her place pressing the jacket against Evie’s wound.

“Evie, it’s Fairy Godmother, can you hear me?”

“She passed out back in the limo,” Mal managed to choke out as she retreated back to stroke Evie’s hair.

Red and blue lights flashed across the stones of the school as a blaring siren pierced through the air. There were trucks surrounding her and people everywhere. Voices shouted to each other and strangers swarmed them. People in blue jumpsuits started to examine Evie and one of them replaced Lonnie’s jacket with a handful of gauze. A protective fire kindled in Mal and she held tighter to Evie. She didn’t want them to take Evie away from her.

“Don’t touch her,” Mal snarled at the paramedics and tried to push them away.

Then she was being pushed away and told to give them space. She lashed out with all the strength she had at the paramedics that tried to drag her away from Evie. Curses and threats spilled out of her as she kicked and clawed at the air as the people who had her by the arms pulled her further and further from Evie. They were speaking, trying to reason with her, but she didn’t care. They couldn’t take Evie. They couldn’t. If they took her, Mal would never see her again. When people disappeared, they didn’t come back.

Fairy Godmother appeared again her face full of pity and her voice soft. “It’s okay, Mal. They’re here to help. You need to let them do their job.” She tried to speak softly as though Mal was a wild animal that could spook easily. That only made her more upset.

“They can’t take her,” Mal shouted as they loaded Evie’s limp body onto a stretcher.

“It’s going to be okay, Mal,” Fairy Godmother tried to reassure her and pull her into an embrace, but Mal shoved her away and let out a cry of anger when she noticed the paramedics loading Evie into the ambulance.

Mal sprinted to them before they could pull the doors shut. “I’m going with her.”

The paramedic holding the door looked to Fairy Godmother, and she nodded her head.

“I’ll follow behind with the boys. They’ll want to be there too.”

“Get in.” One of the paramedics held out a hand to help Mal into the back.

She paused to turn to Fairy Godmother. “Thank you.”

The door slammed shut, then they were speeding down the lane.

Mal was shoved into a corner of the ambulance as the paramedics jumped to work. They hooked Evie up to at least three different tubes and shouted her progress back and forth. They looked like a flock of vultures hovering over her like she was a fresh carcass It made Mal’s head spin and her stomach lurch, but she stayed at Evie’s side and held her hand, rubbing gentle circles into the soft skin. As if it might give Evie some semblance of peace even though she was unconscious.

It took them mere minutes to reach the hospital which Mal would be eternally grateful for. The paramedics burst out of the ambulance and dragged Evie out with them. Mal was all but forgotten as she jumped out of the ambulance and raced after them.. She kept a firm grip on Evie’s hand as they barreled through the doors of the ER where they were met by a swarm of nurses and doctors asking a hundred questions all at once.

Inside the hospital they steered Evie’s stretcher toward a set of double doors. Mal couldn’t help, but notice the sign that red “employees only.” She didn’t stop and held tighter to Evie’s hand. As they reached the door, hands were on her and prying her fingers loose from Evie’s.

“She has to go into surgery. You can’t go with her,” a nurse told her calmly as they tried to guide her toward a bay of chairs where other concerned people sat staring into plastic cups of lukewarm coffee. Mal fought back. They wouldn’t separate her from Evie. They couldn’t take Evie away from her.

“I have to be with her!” Mal protested and elbowed one of the nurses in the gut. It didn’t matter, they had already passed through the doors, and Mal was stuck watching as Evie disappeared down the crowded hall beyond.

“Get off of me.” Mal hissed as her rage made the world flash red. Her rage consumed her, and she didn’t try to get rid of it this time. The nurses looked terrified as she fixed her dark glare on them. She grabbed one of the nurses by the front of his shirt and dragged him forward until they were only centimeters apart.

“Mal!” Familiar voices reached her and broke through the red haze. She turned to find Jay and Carlos sprinting through the hall toward her with Fairy Godmother lagging behind. They raced to her and pried her fingers loose from the nurse’s shirt. She let out a cry of anger and kicked at Jay as he dragged her away.

“Mal, calm down!” Carlos insisted as he grabbed her wrists to keep her from clawing Jay. Restrained, she was able to clear her mind and realize what she had been doing. She sagged in Jay’s arms and let her eyes close.

“Come on,” Jay steadied her and let her to the bay of chairs where the nurses had tried to make her sit before. He lowered her into a chair and took the one to her right while Carlos to the one on her left.

“They took her,” Mal said as she stared down at her hands that were still coated in a layer of Evie’s blood.

“They’re going to help her,” Carlos said. He put an arm around her and pulled her as close as he could with the arm of the chair between them. It wasn’t a comfortable position and the side of the chair cut into Mal’s ribs, but she didn’t care. She rested her head on his shoulder and tried to hold back the sobs that were lodged in her throat.

“What if they can’t?” Mal whispered as she hid her face in Carlos’s shoulder so they couldn’t see her distress, but she knew they could hear it.

“Hey,” Jay reached out and took her hand ignoring the blood, “we’ll get her back. She’s tougher than nails.”

“She’s from the Isle. If anyone can make it through this, it’s her,” Carlos added.

Mal nodded, but couldn’t bring herself to say anything.

Words were whispered over her between Carlos and Jay, but they didn’t register in her brain. Jay’s hand slid out of hers, and she felt his weight disappear from the chair next to her. Carlos stayed. He didn’t say anything or try to offer any other words of comfort. He just sat and held onto her, trying to help keep the pieces of her together. Nearby Fairy Godmother stood talking with a flock of doctors in white coats.

Time became a blur. Mal didn’t know how long Jay had been gone when he returned with three steaming cups of coffee, a damp cloth, and a spare hoodie. If she had been paying better attention, she would have been positive he’d stolen it from an unsuspecting stranger when they weren’t looking. Carlos took one of the coffees, while Jay bent down in front of Mal and took her hands. She didn’t fight this time as he wiped the cold wet cloth over her hands to get rid of the blood. He worked it over her fingers and up her forearm in slow, soothing motions. When he was done the rag was entirely red. It made Mal ill.

“I brought you some coffee, but first you have to get out of that bloody shirt,” he said.

Carlos eased her off of his arm, and she glowered at him. “When Evie wakes up I don’t really think she’s going to want a reminder of almost bleeding out.” He realized his mistake too late. She flinched and looked away.

“Fine,” she grumbled. She snatched the hoodie from Jay, but made no move to get up. Trying to hide his exasperation he reached over and lifted her under her arms until she was on her feet, much to her displeasure. With his hands on her shoulders he guided her through the maze of sterile hallways to a women’s bathroom. Without a second’s hesitation he marched her inside and started to unzip the jacket spattered with Evie’s blood to help her change, and she let him. It’s not like they hadn’t changed in front of each other before. There was no such thing as privacy on the island.

“You holding up okay?” he asked as he pulled her arms through the sleeves and zipped it up to her chin.

She looked at him with flat, dead eyes. He brushed the hair away from her face and smoothed it behind her shoulder, but Mal refused to meet his gaze. They made it back to where Carlos sat, and she took her old seat. Jay disposed of her bloody clothes and joined them, offering her the coffee he’d gotten for her. She took it, but didn’t drink it.

Carlos fell asleep, snoring quietly with his arm draped over her shoulders. Jay flipped through the TV channels looking for something to watch to no avail. Mal sat clutching the coffee and stared down into its dark depths just like all the other visitors around her. All she could do was picture Evie doubled over in pain back on the isle and her pale face as she lay unconscious on the school lawn. She didn’t know how long she spent wondering what she would do if Evie never came back through those doors.

“Are you the guardian for an Evie Grimhilde?” a young nurse bustled over to Fairy Godmother. Mal’s head snapped up at the sound of Evie’s name.

“Yes, that’s me.” Fairy Godmother stood at the same time Mal lurched out of her chair, spilling coffee down her front. She didn’t even notice as she raced to stand with Fairy Godmother.

“Is she okay?” she demanded.

“She made it out of surgery and is stable. She’s not awake yet, but family is now able to go and see her,” the nurse replied.

“You’re the one who was with her when they arrived, aren’t you?” the nurse asked.

“She was,” Fairy Godmother answered.

“You saved her life. If you hadn’t tried to stop the bleeding like you did, she wouldn’t be here right now. You did a good j0b.”

Mal’s knees gave out.

She didn’t know where he had come from, but Jay was there holding her up and keeping her from sprawling across the floor. Carlos appeared at her elbow and took her hand, offering a small smile as encouragement.

“Where is she?”

“Are you family?” asked the nurse.

“They’re her siblings,” Fairy Godmother cut in before any of them could answer. When Mal looked back at her shocked, Fairy Godmother just gave her a small smile. The woman who was supposed to be the epitome of goodness had just lied for them. “I’ll let you guys have a moment. I’ll be out here if you need anything.”

“I’ll take you to her room.” Carlos and Jay each took one of Mal’s hands as they all followed the nurse down a narrow hall to a room in the far corner. They half dragged, half led her through the halls. Reluctance bubbled inside of her as they got closer. She feared what she would find when she reached Evie’s room.

The door stood open a jar. Mal hesitated, her fear eating away at her insides and making her lightheaded. Her heart stopped as she imagined opening it only to find Evie laying lifeless on the bed. The thought made her squeeze the boys’ hands. They squeezed back, and Jay pushed open the door.

Everything in the room was white: the walls, the floor, the blankets, the hospital gown, the machines—everything except Evie’s hair. It was a patch of color in the sea of white, and Mal gravitated to it. Evie lay on the bed, tucked neatly into the blankets with a tube hooked up to her arm. She looked calm and peaceful, and Mal felt a little bit of the ache leave her chest.

She was here. She was alive. Mal could hear her soft breaths in the silence. She walked to Evie’s bedside and reached out to lace their fingers together. Evie’s fingers felt like ice, so Mal held them tighter. She bit her lip and sank into the chair next to the bed, rubbing small circles into the back of Evie’s hand with her thumb just as she had in the ambulance.

The boys hung back and sprawled out in the chairs in the corner. Soon they were asleep with Jay’s head thrown back and Carlos’s feet in his lap. Mal didn’t sleep. She couldn’t take her eyes off of Evie for fear that she might disappear again when Mal wasn’t looking. But as much as she tried to fight it, her eyelids sagged and her limbs were numb and heavy. More than once her head sagged forward as she drifted to sleep for a few seconds only to snap it back up when she realized she’d fallen asleep.

She lost the fight to keep her head up. Her body ached with exhaustion, and she couldn’t hold herself up anymore. She would only lay her head down for a second, but she wouldn’t fall asleep. Still holding firm to Evie’s hand, she used her other arm as a pillow and laid her head on the edge of the bed. Closing her eyes felt nice, and the warmth of Evie’s hand in her own helped loosen a little of the tension in her shoulders.

The next thing she knew, she felt gentle fingers running through her hair. Disoriented and groggy, she peeled open her eyes, almost forgetting where she was until she saw Evie’s smiling face surrounded by a sea of white.

“Hey you,” Evie mumbled and brushed a strand of purple hair out of Mal’s eyes.

“You’re awake,” Mal croaked. Her throat was dry. “How long have I been asleep?”

“About an hour.”

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” She wiped a bit of drool from her mouth and hoped Evie hadn’t noticed.

Evie smiled at her. She still looked drowsy from whatever the doctors had given her for the surgery, but at least the color had returned to her cheeks.

“You looked exhausted. You still look exhausted.”

“I’m fine. Are you-” Mal’s words trailed off as she looked Evie up and down as if she’d be able to see blood soaking through the pristine sheets. Just the thought made her throat close up, and she gripped Evie’s hand tighter.

“Hey, look at me.” The words were what broke her—the same ones she’d said back in the limo when she was sure Evie wouldn’t make it. As much as she hated it the tears she’d been fighting to hold back all night spilled over. She turned away from Evie to try to hide them.

“M, what’s wrong? Talk to me.” She reached out and cupped Mal’s cheek, brushing away the tears with the softest of touches.

Biting her lip, Mal tried to swallow down her sobs, but when she opened her mouth they escaped. It took her several minutes to collect herself enough to speak. Evie waited patiently one hand running through Mal’s hair and the other holding Mal’s hand as tightly as Mal held hers.

“I thought I’d lost you.” Her voice was raw and quiet as she tried to quell her sobs, but Evie heard and her face softened.

“Come here.” She scooted as best she could without jostling her injury and patted the bed beside her.

Mal wiped at her eyes. “I shouldn’-”

Evie pulled the blanket’s aside and gave Mal the stern look that she knew better than to argue with. Damp eyes, coffee stained sweater and all, Mal crawled up onto the bed next to Evie. When she was settled Evie tucked the blanket around them both and pulled Mal to her side until her head was resting on Mal’s.

“I’m not going anywhere, so go back to sleep. You look terrible. I promise I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

Mal laughed. It was small and snotty, but it made Evie’s heart warm. “You’re the one who’s hurt. I’m supposed to be taking care of you.”

It was Evie’s turn to giggle. She pressed a kiss to the top of Mal’s head and took her hand. “I think that is the sweetest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth Mal Bertha.”

For that one Evie received a sharp look, but the teasing smile on her face melted the annoyance right off of Mal’s.

“I’m always going to be here for you, M.” Evie said, more serious now.

Mal smiled. “I love you, E.”

“I love you too. Now go to sleep.”

Mal didn’t protest this time. Wrapped in Evie’s protective embrace , she willingly gave into the sleep she’d been fighting off since before the battle with Uma. Evie was here. She was safe. Mal could feel her hot breaths on her cheek and Evie’s warm body pressed against her. She drifted off to sleep to Evie tenderly tracing circles on her arm through the fabric of her hoodie, and for the first time in a long time Mal felt at peace.

Notes:

I hope you all enjoyed this! If you want more wonderful gay content follow me on tumblr! alifeoflesbionage.tumblr.com