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Hinata's (long overdue) Realization

Summary:

“Kageyama got a girlfriend?!” Tanaka yelled.

 

“I know! She’s in my class! Her name is Nakamura Yuki!” Noya yelled back.

 

“I can’t believe he got a girlfriend before I did!” Tanaka groaned.

 

“She’s so cute I could die!!” Noya made fake sobbing noises.

 

Hinata had been walking past the gym on his way to the changing room when he overheard them. Something inside him broke.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Hinata was used to the confessions. That is, he was used to Kageyama getting confessions. The first time it happened Hinata was surprised. He was walking down the hall and saw Kageyama with a girl, hidden behind a corner. At first, Hinata thought the girl was scolding Kageyama for doing something dumb. He smiled at the thought, loving to see his rival get told off. The smile faded when he saw the girl bow and hand Kageyama a letter. When Hinata realized it was a confession he did a 180 and hurried away. He stormed into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. His face was red which he attributed to the running so he splashed himself repeatedly with cold water.

“I’m just surprised, that’s all,” he said to himself. “I never thought Kageyama would get a confession. I don’t care, I’m just surprised.”

Kageyama never mentioned the confession and Hinata did his best to forget about it.

**

The second time was right after practice. The duo was walking to the school gate when a girl stopped them. She was quite short and had long black hair, much like one would describe the typical Japanese High School Anime Girl. She was thin and slightly shorter than Hinata.

“Kageyama-kun,” she choked out to get their attention “This is for you,” she said and bowed down, handing Kageyama a letter. Feeling awkward, Hinata patted him on the back and walked away. He waited by his bicycle, doing his best to avoid looking at him.

“What are you waiting for, dumbass? “Kageyama’s voice called out to him.

“What did she want?” he asked as he pushed his bicycle.

“To give me a letter. I refused though,” Kageyama’s comment shocked him

“What do you mean you refused it?” Hinata’s eyes were wide and his eyebrows were up to his hairline.

Kageyama raised an eyebrow at Hinata’s question. “Why wouldn’t I? I’m too busy with volleyball to date.“

Hinata whistled out, his heart filled with relief. “That’s true! We need to practice really hard to get to the Nationals!” he jumped up and down.

Kageyama rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets “Shut up, dumbass.”

**

The third confession came the day before their game against Datekou. Hinata was walking to the gym when he saw Kageyama talking to a girl. Being the curious little shit he was, he rushed towards them and hid behind a corner, shamelessly eavesdropping.

“Are you sure? Not even once?” the girl sounded near tears.

“Yes. I am sorry, but volleyball comes first.” Kageyama replied.

“I understand. Thank you for listening to me.” She bowed her head before turning around and running away, face in her hands.

Hinata hid as Kageyama walked back to the gym. As soon as the boy was out of sight, Hinata let out a sigh. What was this feeling inside him? Relief? Yeah, of course, it was a relief. It meant he would still get to practice with Kageyama, right? Hinata pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and walked to the gym.

**

The fourth confession was barely a proper confession. They were getting their stuff in their lockers when a paper fell from Kageyama’s. Hinata leaned down and picked it up. He was about to give it to Kageyama when he noticed a cursive handwriting too gentle to be from a boy. He let out a sigh and handed the letter to Kageyama.

"Who’s it from?” He asked and turned back to get his stuff as Kageyama stuffed the letter into his bag.  

“Nakamura Yuki,” Kageyama replied, closing his locker and zipping up his bag.

“Ooooh,” he smirked “When did she confess?” he tried to keep his voice even.

“Not exactly. She just leaves letters in my locker with random questions. Said she wants to get to know me better,” He shrugged and threw his bag onto his back.

“And you answer them?” He raised an eyebrow.

“It’s usually just one line. It’s not that bothersome.”

“Have you met her? Is she cute?” he forced the second question out of his mouth and closed his locker a little bit too hard.

“I’ve seen her around. I don’t know if she’s cute.” Kageyama turned around and walked away.

Hinata slung his bag over his shoulders and followed suit. “What do you mean you don’t know?”

“I don’t know what is considered cute,” Kageyama said.

Hinata opened his mouth to explain the concept of ‘cuteness’ to him but stopped. How could he describe cuteness? Especially to Kageyama out of all people?

“Oi, dumbass! What are you waiting for?” Kageyama’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he realized he had stopped walking.

Hinata shrugged off the annoying thoughts and got on his bike.

“Bet you can’t catch me, Bakageyama!” He screamed and started pedaling.

Kageyama glared and got on his own bike, causing quite the ruckus in his hurry. He yelled about how Hinata had got a head start but followed him as fast as he could.

**

“Kageyama got a girlfriend?!” Tanaka yelled.

“I know! She’s in my class! Her name is Nakamura Yuki!” Noya yelled back.

“I can’t believe he got a girlfriend before I did!” Tanaka groaned.

“She’s so cute I could die!!” Noya made fake sobbing noises.

Hinata had been walking past the gym on his way to the changing room when he overheard them. Something inside him broke. He frowned and placed a hand on his stomach. It was hurting. Before he knew it he was in front of the changing room. He didn’t remember getting there. He took a deep breath and stepped inside. When he saw Kageyama the dread and the pain disappeared. Instead, they were replaced with pure, unfiltered rage.

“You’re dating?!” He yelled, slamming the door behind him.

Kageyama looked up startled but then frowned and crossed his arms over his bare chest.

“What are you on about?” the setter demanded.

“You’re dating! You got a girlfriend and you didn’t tell me!” Hinata puffed out his chest and walked up to Kageyama.

The latter realized what Hinata was talking about and blushed. He grabbed his shirt and put it on. “It’s not a big deal, dumbass,” He mumbled.

“Not a big deal? You got a girlfriend! That’s a huge deal if you ask me!” Hinata’s anger was not assuaged.

“Fine! I have a girlfriend! Whatever! What’s the matter with you?” Kageyama frowned down at Hinata and walked past him toward the door but Hinata grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I’m supposed to be your partner! Your friend!” He yelled, gripping Kageyama’s arm with perhaps too much strength.

“You’re just my friend! I don’t have to tell you everything! Back off!” Kageyama pulled his arm back with such force Hinata stumbled back.

“Fine! See if I care!” Hinata glared at Kageyama.

“Fine!” Kageyama yelled back and stormed out of the room, slamming the door.

Hinata panted as he stared at the closed door. Regret filled him within seconds. Why had he said those things to Kageyama? The setter got a girlfriend, so why was he so mad? It wasn’t like they had lost a game or something. Why was he so angry?

**

The dynamic duo didn’t speak for a while. They practiced but weren’t in sync. They played well and practiced their freak quick but outside of practice, they wouldn’t look at each other in the face. The team noticed the tension between the two but was at a loss on what to do. It wasn’t like there were any fights to break up. They worked together but something was seriously wrong.

Kageyama had indeed got a girlfriend. He had lunch with her, walked her to the bus stop, she even watched their practices sometimes (even if Kageyama completely ignored her during practice). Hinata, on the other hand, was spending most of his time alone. He was used to spending lunch with Kageyama, eating for half of it and then practicing for the other half. Now he just focused on practicing, figuring it would be fine if he ate when he got at home. It seemed that Kageyama’s abandonment of the smaller boy had sparked something inside him, a drive to improve. Hinata wanted to show Kageyama he was fine on his own. He did not need the grumpy setter in his life.  

He was determined to improve on his own and beat Kageyama on the court. To do that he had to start working harder. He began taking the long route to school, 45 minutes of hard cycling. He went to morning practice, class, then practiced alone during lunch, then class again, then afternoon practice, and another 45 minutes of cycling back home. Within two weeks he could feel the improvement.  He was already jumping higher and his stamina and speed were higher than ever.

The team, however, saw something different. Whenever they looked at him they saw a boy overworking himself and hardly eating. Sure, Hinata had improved, but at what cost? He had lost so much weight it was worrisome and the whole team was scared for him. Suga, in particular, was racking his brain to come up with a way to help Hinata but was coming up empty handed.

As for Kageyama, the team didn’t see him around often. Much like Hinata he only came to practices, even skipping the occasional lunch meetings. They let it slide, however, figuring he was spending the time with his girlfriend. That changed when Noya came across Nakamura yelling at Kageyama, tears sliding down her cheeks.

“Do you even like me? I feel like it doesn’t matter to you whether we’re together or not!”

Kageyama’s fists were balled up but his face was unreadable.

“I need you to show me how much you like me!” she cried. “I need you to take care of me. I need you to be close to me. Please Tobio…” her voice broke and she threw herself into his arms.

Kageyama frowned and wrapped his stiff arms around her waist as she cried into his chest.

When Noya told this to Suga his perception of Kageyama’s relationship changed entirely. Apparently, Nakamura couldn’t understand that Kageyama was, as Tsukishima usually put it, emotionally constipated. This meant she couldn’t understand just how much work he was putting into the relationship. The relationship was falling apart and Suga could tell that, unfortunately, it was for the best. With that in mind, he took action.

It was Friday afternoon, right after practice, when Suga called Kageyama and Hinata to the club room. As usual, they weren’t looking at each other when Suga arrived.

“You two fought and I don’t know why. It’s getting in the way of your synchronization with each other and with the team. Therefore, I’m locking you guys in and you can only come out once you make up,” he said, a shit-eating grin on his face “And you gotta hug to prove it!.” He stepped out and locked them in.

The duo stared at the door in shock for a few moments before Hinata broke the silence.

“Sugawara-san! Please let me out!” he whined.

“That’s not going to work, dumbass,” Kageyama mumbled as he made himself comfortable, sliding down against one of the walls.

“Do you have a better idea, Bakageyama?” Hinata turned around and crossed his arms over his chest.

.

Kageyama clicked his tongue and went silent. Hinata sat down facing Kageyama, back against the opposite wall. The silence that fell upon them was uncomfortable. It was heavy and made Hinata squirm ever so often. Kageyama was the one to break it.

“Maybe we should do what he told us to?” he offered, biting his lip.

Hinata looked up at him and tilted his head to the side, considering the implications of such action.

“You mean… make up?” he asked, his voice tiny and shy. “I mean… if you want to…”

“What do you mean?” Kageyama asked.

“Well, you’re the one who said you didn’t want to be my friend anymore…” Hinata whispered, blinking rapidly to avoid any tears.

“I never said that!” Kageyama frowned.

“Yes, you did!”

“Is that what you got from our conversation? Hinata, you are such a dumbass!” Kageyama yelled. “All I said was that I didn’t want you all up in my business! I never said I didn’t want to be your friend!”

“That’s what friends do, Bakageyama!” Hinata yelled back. “They get all up in each other businesses!”

“Then you can be all up in my business, okay? Fine! You’re my friend, okay?” Kageyama lowered his voice and crossed his arms over his chest, huffing out a breath.

Hinata went silent and took a shaky breath. “So… we’re friends again?”

“We never stopped being friends, dumbass,” Kageyama rolled his eyes.

“Okay! Can you toss to me?” he asked and stood up.

“Is that all I’m good for?’ Kageyama asked but stood up nonetheless.

“You know it!” Hinata laughed and started banging on the door and yelling that they were done.

Suga opened the door and eyed them suspiciously for a second before stepping aside to let them out. “Hug,” he said.

Hinata shamelessly wrapped his arms around Kageyama and hugged him tight for a second before pulling away, grinning like mad. Suga shook his head and smiled, waving them away. Hinata ran back to the court and picked up a ball, throwing it to Kageyama who had followed.

“Toss!” he squealed and Kageyama rolled his eyes, tossing it so Hinata could spike. Things were finally going back to normal.

**

A few things began to improve after that. When Kageyama wasn’t with Yuki he would hang out with Hinata. That was not enough, however. Hinata’s training regime was strong as always and he spent most of his time alone. Suga was incredibly worried. He had thought once Hinata and Kageyama patched things up it would get better. He was at a loss. He decided to talk to Daichi to see if they could come up with something.

“I don’t know what to do, Daichi!” Sugar was pacing up and down the living room with Daichi watching him from the couch. “They made up but neither of them seems happy. Hinata is still overworking himself, and Kageyama’s relationship is making him unhappy. I don’t know how to help them!”

“Suga…” Daichi whispered and reached up, pulling Suga by his waist and holding him still. “First you need to calm down. Then we can think of something together,” he said.

Sugar took a deep breath and nodded, sitting next to Daichi and laying his head on his shoulder.

“Love, I know you feel responsible for them but they are teenagers. They are supposed to go through these things. It’s normal,” Daich took Suga’s hand and rubbed circles on his skin with the pad of his thumb. “Love has strange ways of working in one’s life. You and I just got extremely lucky that we never got tangled up in any of that. Now, if you are really that worried we can have a mandatory team sleepover,” he offered.

“Thank you,” Suga said and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

And so the team sleepover came to be. The team came over to Daichi’s house after practice on Friday night. Kageyama was the last to arrive because he had to drop off Yuki at the bus stop. Something was off with Hinata because as soon as Kageyama arrived his mood changed 180 degrees and he was annoyed. When everyone huddled up to watch the movie he made sure to sit as far away from Kageyama as possible. He didn’t feel good when he was close to Kageyama, his body got hot and his head got fuzzy.

The atmosphere was off in the room. There was no bickering happening between the freak duo. Hinata didn’t start any arguments and if Kageyama provoked him he brushed it off. It was unsettling to everyone else. Something was definitely wrong with Hinata and Suga was determined to find out. After everyone went to sleep Hinata slipped out and sat by himself on the balcony. Sugar followed and sat next to him. Hinata didn’t even glance at him, only stared off into the distance.

“What’s on your mind?” Suga asked. Hinata did not answer for a while. He took a deep breath and looked at Suga.

“How did you know you liked Daichi?”

Sugar couldn’t say he was surprised by the question. “We were really close friends. Then we started getting closer and more comfortable around each other, not only emotionally but also physically. I noticed I liked it when our shoulders touched or when our high-fives lingered for a second longer than needed. I got this weird feeling in my gut when I was around him — which I later came to recognize as butterflies in my stomach. I was jealous of him with other girls. Seeing him made my day. Whenever we-“ Suga stopped abruptly when he noticed tears streaming down Hinata’s cheeks. “Shouyou…” he cupped his cheeks and wiped his tears away.

“I-I… I think I like him, Suga-san…” Hinata croaked out.

“Oh, Shouyou…” Suga pulled him into his arms and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. He could only imagine the pain Hinata was in.

“I don’t know what to do. I’m glad to see him happy but it hurts for some reason.”

“I know, Shouyou. It’ll pass eventually. It hurts now but you will feel better. I can promise you that,” Suga whispered as he cradled him in his arms. “Everything turns out okay in the end. If it’s not okay then it’s not the end,” Suga kissed the top of his head.

Hinata chuckled and pulled away, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. “I guess you’re right. I’ll do my best to get over him,” he took a deep breath.

“Let’s get you some ice cream,” Suga smiled and got up, offering him his hand.

“Ice cream?” came a voice from the door. Hinata searched for the source of the voice but looked away upon finding it. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?” Kageyama asked.

“It’ll be okay. I’ll be okay,” Hinata said, more to himself than to Kageyama. He took Suga’s hand and stood up. “Let’s go?” he asked and they went in to get ice cream.

**

Things did not improve after the sleepover. Hinata was still overworking himself and Kageyama was as distant as always. The two of them were spending less time together. When Kageyama went with the team to get meat buns Hinata made up excuses not to come. Sugar understood and for Hinata’s sake made sure Kageyama didn’t suspect the true reason for his absence. This wouldn’t have been that bad if Hinata wasn’t using all his free time to work out. He was losing even more weight and Suga knew he had to step in. Then it happened.

Kageyama had left right after practice to go on a date with Yuki, while Hinata stayed back with Suga to practice their normal quick.

“Hinata, I think that’s enough,” Suga called out after a while.

“One more, Suga-san! One more!” Hinata pouted and Suga sighed in defeat.

Suga set the ball and Hinata ran up to the net, jumping up ready to spike. He hit it, strong as always, aiming for a bottle. The ball hit its target and Hinata hit the ground. He turned around and beamed at Suga, sending him a thumbs up.

“Okay, let’s clean up and-” Suga stopped midsentence when he saw Hinata’s eyes roll to the back of his head as he collapsed onto the gym floor.

“Shouyou!” Sugar called out and ran over, kneeling by his side. “Shouyou!” Sugar shook him but he did not stir.

“Sugar, what happened?” Daichi stormed into the gym.

“Hinata collapsed!” he cried out, brushing the boy’s sweaty hair from his forehead.

“I’ll take him to the nurse. Call his mom.” Daichi said and picked the small boy up in his arms.

They fulfilled their respective jobs and were both waiting in the hall when the nurse came out of her room. “He passed out due to dehydration, malnutrition, and overall exhaustion. Since he didn’t hit his head when he fell, I recommend no exercise for a few days, lots of rest, food, and water. He should wake up soon,” she told them and Daichi nodded.

“Thank you for taking care of him. His mother is on her way,” he said and they all waited to help get the boy home.

**

Hinata’s mother took away his volleyball and his phone. He wasn’t grounded but it was the only way she knew to force him to rest. He was only allowed to read and watch TV, not even homework was allowed. It was rather annoying but he was so tired he slept for most of the days. That Monday he fell asleep watching TV after lunch and woke up to his mum shaking him.

“Shouyou… Shou… there is someone here to see you,” she whispered.

Hinata sat up and stretched, yawning loudly as he scanned the room with his eyes. There, in the middle of the living room, stood Kageyama, looking stiff and out of place.

“Kageyama-kun,” Hinata whispered, tilting his head to the side.

“I’ll leave you two for a while. I’ll be back soon,” she said and leaned down, pressing a kiss to Hinata’s forehead before leaving.

“Why aren’t you at practice?” Hinata asked.

“It’s already over,” Kageyama mumbled, not looking at him.

“Why don’t you sit down?” he offered.

“Are you seriously this dumb?” Hinata was startled by Kageyama’s sudden yelling. “Are you really so stupid you can’t take care of your own body?”

“What are you talking about?” Hinata asked, raising his voice to match Kageyama’s

“I’m talking about you skipping meals, not resting, and practicing more than your body can take!” Kageyama clenched his fists by his side.

“Why are you yelling at me? At least I’m improving!” Hinata stood up and glared at him.

“You know damn well you won’t improve if you don’t respect your body’s limit!”

“At least I’m trying! All you ever do is go out with your girlfriend! You don’t even toss to me after practice anymore!” Hinata pointed his finger at Kageyama’s chest.

“What does Yuki have to do with any of this? This isn’t about me, Hinata, it’s about you and your inability to take care of yourself!” Kageyama’s face was red like a tomato.

“Why are you standing in my house and scolding me? You have no right to yell at me about all of this when it’s all your fault!” The words left his mouth before he could even process them.

“My fault?” Kageyama stopped yelling.

“It’s your fault for making me like you, Bakageyama!” Hinata screamed and squeezed his eyes tightly.

The room went still with a heavy silence lingering between them. Hinata opened his eyes and felt tears streaming down his face. What had happened? Why had he confessed to Kageyama? He felt so dumb! Now everything was going to be weird between them and they would never get to play together again. Their friendship was ruined forever and it was his fault because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. Hinata knew he had fucked up by the way Kageyama stood silently in his living room after the confession. Things would never be the same again. Looking at Kageyama’s face filled him with dread. He was done with negative feelings, however, so he kicked Kageyama out.

“I think you should leave,” he broke the thick silence and brought his hand up to wipe away his tears, his voice rough and choked from holding back tears.

Kageyama didn’t respond, but turned around and walked out of the house. Hinata locked the door once he was out before running to his room and throwing himself onto his bed. Burying his face into his pillow, he let the tears come and the sobs rack his body. It hurt so much to lose a friend, even more so when he was in love with said friend. He had lost Kageyama forever.

**

Hinata stayed home for a couple more days. It was doctor’s orders but he was glad he didn’t have to face Kageyama and the consequences of his actions. Or so he thought.

He was sitting on the couch watching a random volleyball game when his doorbell rang. Hinata groaned and got up, opening the door to tell the girl scouts he did not want another box of cookies. He froze when he saw the dark haired setter standing at his door with a volleyball under his arm.

“H-hey…” Kageyama greeted him, voice barely above a whisper.

“What are you doing here?” Hinata asked and looked down, so tired of all of it.

A blush rose to Kageyama’s cheeks and he looked away. “I-I… uh… I came to… uh… I came to give you this,” Kageyama thrust the volleyball towards Hinata who took it.

As soon as the ball was out of his hands Kageyama turned around and sprinted away. Hinata watched him perplexed and turned down to look at the ball. ‘I like you too DUMBASS’ was written on it with a black sharpie. Hinata’s breath hitched and he dropped the ball. This had to be some sort of joke. Kageyama had to be playing with his feelings. He knew, however, that Kageyama would never play such a cruel prank on anyone, not even him. So was it real? Did Kageyama really like him back? Why did he run away? Nothing made sense and Hinata’s heart was beating out of his chest, but he knew what he had to do. He closed the door and sprinted after Kageyama. Once he caught up he threw himself forward and tackled Kageyama to the ground. They both groaned and rolled in the middle of the sidewalk until Hinata sat up.

“What the fuck, Kageyama?” he screamed.

“I should be the one asking that!” Kageyama yelled back, panting.

“What’s with the stupid idea of dropping this bomb on me and then running away, Bakageyama!” Hinata gripped his shoulders. They were in a very awkward position, Kageyama on his back, shoulders on the ground, and Hinata straddling him.

“Who are you to talk? You tell me you like me and then lock me out of your house!” Hinata leaned back a bit as spit flew on his face from Kageyama’s mouth.

“You are the one who was standing there like a statue!” Hinata shook him by his shoulders.

“How else did you expect me to react?” Kageyama demanded, sitting up and pushing Hinata off.

“I don’t know, okay?” Hinata screamed at the top of his lungs. “I don’t know…” his voice went back to its normal volume.

They stayed silent, looking at each other and breathing heavily. Their eyes locked and something clicked. There was a mutual understanding between them. Hinata sighed and tore his eyes away, looking up at the sky and taking a deep breath. He looked back at Kageyama.

“Do you really mean it, Kageyama?” Hinata looked into his eyes.

“Yeah…” Kageyama mumbled, looking into Hinata’s eyes in return.

“What about Nakamura?” Hinata ran a hand through his hair.

“We broke up. She saw it coming, I guess. We weren’t really On the same page,” Kageyama shrugged and dusted himself off.

“So… What now?” Hinata asked after a while.

“Isn’t this when we’re supposed to go on a date?” Kageyama asked.

Hinata looked up at him and smiled. “How would I know? You’re the dating expert.”

“Shut up, dumbass!” Kageyama yelled voice a whole octave higher and Hinata burst out laughing. Kageyama whacked him over the head and Hinata’s laughter subsided to giggles. “A date… A date sounds great” Hinata beamed up at him.

Kageyama blushed deeply and looked away, but Hinata wasn’t about to let him go stoic.

“Hey…” he whispered and Kageyama looked at him. “Toss to me?” he asked and Kageyama shook his head in disbelief, the hint of a smile playing on his lips.

“Only if you hit it,” Kageyama smirked back at him.

Suga had been right, Hinata realized. Everything would be fine.

Notes:

I know there are a looooot of things wrong with this fic but it's actually quite old and I just wanted to post it. Definitely not my best writing but I suppose it will do for now. Hope you enjoyed it!

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