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It’s one of the better days of fall, a late October day when the sun is still fighting so much against dark and grey clouds; when the sky is still colored in blues less rich than those of summer but Isabelle’s face feels warm and kissed just right. There is no shivering limbs or frozen noses and her eyelids flutter closed for a moment, soaking up the sun for one of the last times before winter comes. And it’s made so much better by fingers intertwined with her own, thumb brushing over her knuckles every now and then in a soothing rhythm.
The conversation has died down some time ago but not because they have nothing to say, not because it’s awkward or uncomfortable. No, it’s a silence that doesn’t stretch with meaning, that doesn’t feel like it’s ocean’s deep but rather like they don’t need to talk to say everything they want; rather like they are content just to stay sitting on this bench in a park filled with children’s laughter and chatter and the almost inaudible falling of richly colored leaves.
It’s two hours they could steal from days so busy they barely had the time to see each other much less take a walk in the park and just be. Maia’s days are filled with studying and reading assignments and evenings working at the bar. The Institute is buzzing with activity and while Izzy enjoys being given more responsibility it also makes it so much harder to squeeze in some time to see her girlfriend. Dark nights where she gets to her room with exhaustion wearing her down so much, she can only send a quick goodnight text before she drifts off to sleep. Or – on the rare occasion that they get to eat dinner and laugh into kisses and share a bottle of wine – night calls wake her because demon activity and she leaves the warm bed reluctantly and with kisses pressed into Maia’s hair.
And that is why there is a constant smile tugged into the corners of her lips now, cherishing a moment where worries are so far at the back of her mind she can’t even reach them and the sun kisses her nose and her knee is pressed against Maia’s and everything feels so right. She doesn’t want to break this peace, almost afraid to utter a single word because it might burst this bubble which just feels like they are somewhere far and safe from everything else. Izzy knows they’ll have to eventually, go back to their jobs and accept that they’ll only see each other again by the next day if they get lucky. Right now, though? Right now, Maia’s hand feels so good within her own, warm and a little heavy with a meaning that makes her heart flutter. Right now, as Izzy opens her eyes and blinks against the bright lights of the sun, her head finds her girlfriend’s shoulder easily, giving her an excuse to press even closer, hands resting upon her thigh.
She yearns for more days like these, for more hours or even minutes, for laughter and throwing piles of leaves at each other; for doing mundane things like buying pumpkins and carving funny faces into them; for baking apple pie and letting Maia help reluctantly but maybe not so when she can kiss the sugar from her fingertips. But they aren’t mundanes. They have lives intertwined with things everyone else in this park has only ever heard of in stories and sooner or later they will catch up to them (most likely sooner, she thinks with a frown).
It’s a thought that seems to crawl up her spine, leaving a strange feeling burning within her. It’s not sadness exactly, but a fear of things slipping from her fingers too easily because she’s always known her life is dangerous but she’s never had something quite like this. Something so beautiful and filling her up to the brim with a want for a future like this, a future next to someone. So when she tilts her head back to look at the way the sunlight leaves a soft warm glow on Maia’s cheeks and catches on the dark curls around her head it’s really with a lot more meaning than just gazing lovingly at her girlfriend. It’s a need to soak up this moment entirely and keep it locked away for the bad days spent with an ache between her shoulders and irritation crawling up her neck.
“What?” Maia’s eyes are still closed, head resting on the back of the bench but she’s grinning as if she knows exactly what is going through Izzy’s mind (or how Izzy could keep looking at her for hours and drink her in and still not have enough, not nearly enough). She presses closer again, tip of her nose brushing against the other’s neck and up to her jaw and for a moment she’s caught up in the low hum it elicits from Maia, almost inaudible above the background noise the rest of the world has blended into.
“Nothing.” When she leans back again Maia’s right eye blinks open, looking at her questioningly and one brow raised. Izzy chuckles softly, her free hand reaching out to play with the zipper of Maia’s leather jacket almost absentmindedly. Usually she would roll her eyes right back or whisper something like you’re beautiful or can’t I just look at my girlfriend because I feel like it into her skin – and by the Angel, those words are truer than anything else she’s whispered to anyone before but right now it’s different, it feels different. It feels like a campfire lighting up in her chest and warming her from the inside out (although she’s never really done the mundane-campfire-thing before). It feels like lazy days spent in bed and kisses pressed into sleep warm skin and fingertips brushing against each other. It feels like slow dancing with the taste of wine and the taste of each other upon their tongues. It feels like she has a future where all of this is possible and not a question mark. It feels like this could be so much more than she can put into words right now, something that should scare her if she hadn’t seen what this can do if you walk into it unafraid and without looking back.
“I’m just happy.” It’s three words and it’s the truth even if her heart beats three other words steadily. Three words which she knows it’s not the right moment to say because they’re both not quite ready for it yet. But when Maia’s entire face lights up with a bright smile, warm eyes filled with the same happiness that echoes in her own chest, Izzy knows it is what they both think. They kiss with lips warm from the sun and grins pressed into the corners of their mouths and fingers still intertwined and it’s the most perfect October day.
It becomes somewhat of a tradition after this afternoon, when they tried to make the short time together last longer, running late when they couldn’t part because it just felt too good to be pressed together as the sun wandered lower. Whenever they find time during the day, they go for walks, sometimes in a park and sometimes along the East River and sometimes just along the streets, arms or fingers linked together. Sometimes they get coffee or hot chocolate with hazelnut syrup burning sweet on their tongues and sometimes they share a quick lunch. Sometimes it’s short and over too soon, with promises of call you later whispered into kisses. And sometimes it feels like days pass but in the good way, in the way that feels like Izzy could be happy if the rest of her life was afternoons with Maia’s hand in her own and watching the way her eyes crinkle at the corners when she throws her head back with laughter.
Every time she comes back to the institute with a smile and the weight on her shoulders a little lighter and a new afternoon’s memories locked in her heart to warm her up from the inside out.