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Tony Stark was many things. He was taller than his dad (by a full inch thank you very much ). There were also many things that he was once upon a time. One thing he used to be was a planner and a damn good one at that. Everything he did was planned out to some degree even if the times had to be adjusted because he really didn’t want to go sit with a bunch of two-faced people trying to get his money. He didn’t plan much anymore, especially after Afghanistan. Something about having definite plans of where he would be at every second rubbed him the wrong way, hard .
He remembered when he landed back in California after spending most of the flight back to the U.S. sleeping on a too hard bench that was still more comfortable than the cave. Well, sleeping was too strong a word. He didn’t sleep so much as he dozed lightly, never quite falling asleep. His arm was in a sling and it kept aggravating his shoulder because, wouldn’t you know, wandering around the desert for a couple hours with no sun screen of any form could lead to being burned. No matter how much water he sipped (“Don’t chug or take long drinks, it’s worse for you,” Rhodey had chided him gently) he could still feel the blood and sand mixing in the back of his throat and mouth. He hated it.
Rhodey kept trying to tell him to relax on the flight and he kept insisting he was relaxed, for him. Even if he got a terrible knot between his shoulders from stress and his hands didn’t truly unclench the entire flight. Even if he felt like screaming the whole time because people could know where the plane was they could know where he was, they could take him again and kill Rhodey in front of him. Didn’t anyone understand he needed to be unpredictable? Being predictable is what caused him to end up with a magnet in his chest. What would happen the next time he was predictable?
So, when everyone landed and he shoved himself upright into a walking position, ignoring the fact that his legs would very much not like for him to do that. He had argued Rhodey down over the wheelchair because there was no way he needed it. So what if his legs shook slightly as he walked and he hated how that made him feel weak? He could deal with that. Stepping off the plane he wanted a burger. Everyone assumed he would got to the hospital, which was ridiculous, he was fine . Then, even if they predicted the press conference they couldn’t have predicted that he wants a specific hamburger from that specific restaurant, problem solved, for now.
He couldn’t be predictable. Predictable meant dead. Predictable meant no survival. Last time he had scraped by with literal centimeters to spare, it wouldn’t go over as well next time. He just, he couldn’t do it and he didn’t think anyone would understand. He wasn’t exactly going to tell them about these feelings either because then he would be forced into therapy to talk about what happened and that was very much off the table. No one could know he’d killed someone and he knew of the hundreds of thousands more he killed, all in the his name, pathetic .
The drive made him nervous beyond the fact that he could be blown up at any point. He knew Happy always wore his seatbelt but he wasn’t wearing a bulletproof vest. If there was one thing Afghanistan taught him it was, when he wasn’t driving people got hurt. So was it any wonder that the second he got his phone back he proceeded to look up bulletproof vests and immediately be ashamed at the lack of useful ones. Really, he thought, they were all too noticeable and bulky. Looks like he would have to improve that after he made his suit.
Even when he got home he continually checked with JARVIS about who knew where he was and how they knew it. Immediately he revoked privileges from everyone but Pepper, Rhodey, and Obadiah. (He wouldn’t know the error of his ways until he had his heart ripped out in front of his own eyes.) He, while tweaking his various suit parts, would dictate to JARVIS his plans of bullet proofing and “Have we tried a triple alloy combination yet for the thinner vests?” “No, sir” “Get on that.” “Of course.”
He was a stupid fool. Obadiah was doing something wrong he had known that. He’d known it but still hadn’t restricted his access to JARVIS or his whereabouts. The man was just like the father he’d never had. Surely, he’d reasoned, he wouldn’t actually harm him. He’d been wrong, so very, very, wrong.
Obadiah had walked in the house and used a device Tony had thought he demanded to be destroyed, all of them. He was forced to remain with his joints locked but shaking for release as he watch the man he viewed as a father rip his arc reactor, his heart , out before his very eyes and laugh at him.
When his limbs had finally functioned like normal again his heartbeat was already erratic as he stumbled into the elevator. As JARVIS activated and pushed the elevator down into the lab. He only had one hope and on thought. His hope was that, admittedly, funny present Pepper had got him and his thoughts was this is what happens when I plan things out . He had let too many things slide. He had to fix this, after he got his heart back in.
He heard JARVIS warn him of the dangers of the old reactor but he didn’t care because Pepper was in danger . He knew his reactor was not the best thing to use but he had minutes, maybe seconds, before Pepper was hurt and he couldn’t have another death on his hands. They were already stained with so many innocents to wash off. He couldn’t fail someone, again.
It’s after the deal with Obadiah, after everything goes down, that he realizes something. He can’t trust anyone. Obie was just the first in a long list of people who had let him down recently. Rhodey hadn’t meant to, directly, but he’d hurt him when he hadn’t exactly immediately called of the jets. The stretch of silence had been too long, too disbelieving. It had stung him. Sure, finding out your best friend was in a suit flying in restricted air space was a bit out of this world but come on it was him, Tony Stark. Nothing was out of the realm of possible. He had a freaking magnet keeping him alive for God’s sake.
He raises protocols on his suit. Only Pepper and JARVIS will know where he is at any point in time and even then he can block Pepper with a simple command. He can’t do that to JARVIS though, the poor AI would most likely hack through the codes anyway. He’s a bit stubborn like that. This was the age of a new Tony Stark. No one would know where he was. He would make sure to keep everyone as safe as possible, even if it hurt them.