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Dipper Pines.
You have heard that name, and have said that name, an immeasurable amount of times. Yet you still never get tired of it.
You first met him when you were kids. And of course, you had a stupid little childhood crush on him. You knew he felt the same exact way, too.
But neither of you would ever act on it. Except of course, the classic Mabel would always try to bring you guys closer, being the “professional” match-maker that she is. Although, that seemed to distance your relationship even more, and made things quite uncomfortable.
As you both are getting older, you are becoming close again. That awkward “early teen crush” phase has died down. You are now a lot more flirtatious with him, since you figure your relationship with Dipper is never going to progress if you don’t make the first move. Dipper is pretty confident with his academics and adventuring, but he always needs that push when it comes to social skills. Of course, you do too. But you are starting to get tired of sitting around, admiring this kid from afar. You want to get somewhere.
So what was it that makes this clumsy, nerdy, overly confident (yet somehow insecure at the same time) dork make you melt just by just the mention of his name?
—
The way he gets so caught up in things. Once he finds something that he enjoys— he's hooked. He can't get enough of it. He latches onto things— almost obsessed, even. You admire that. He doesn't back down on anything, ever. He won't begin another project until he completes the one that he has already started. He will spend hours beyond days beyond months trying to find answers. Leather journals, sleepless nights, plaid flannels, crumpled up notes and theories spread across the floor.
The fact that he's literally a walking galaxy. You know that he's completely insecure about his birthmark on his forehead, and you can never figure out why. He always hides it underneath his bangs, and you can't help but lift it up sometimes when you are with him, causing him to playfully shove you. He tries to act angry about it, but he never seems to be able to wipe that goofy grin off of his face. But the infamous big dipper on his forehead aren’t the only stars on him. You recently found out that he actually has birthmarks on his back that also connect into constellations.
You were sleeping over at the shack one summer night, and it was humid beyond belief. You and Mabel were asleep on the couch while Dipper was asleep on the floor. The TV was on, allowing a subtle glow to fill the living room. Dipper kept restlessly fidgeting and moving around, causing you to wake up. He finally stood up and peeled off his shirt. He then drowsily flopped down onto his sleeping bag, back facing you, revealing the countless clusters of stars. You couldn't fall asleep after that, since you were too busy admiring the patterns on his back. You never told him about that night.
Speaking of summer stars, they are kind of you and Dipper’s thing. You both spend hours outside on the shack’s rooftop, staring up at the sky— wondering, wishing, desiring, and dreaming. He babbles to you about his day. The things he discovered and what new scratches and scars he received (which he would have to explain to his parents at the end of the summer.) But you love hearing him talk. You love that he opens up to you so easily and that he feels completely comfortable around you. He has always been a tough nut to crack. But when you end up delving into that overstimulated, charming mind of his, you will find an endless amount of galaxies inside of it.
And you are falling in love with him. You wish you weren't falling as hard as you are. But you can't help it. Especially after what happened that one night. Not the night when you discovered his other birthmarks. No, this was a different night. He knows about it. At least, you think he knows. Of course he knows! You both just haven’t talked about it since it happened. It wasn’t even that long ago. And you can’t get it out of your head. That one hell of a night…
—
Dipper stops reading and looks up at you. “Why are you staring at me like that?” he smirks.
You shake your head and realize that your mind went off on a tangent about Dipper. Those happen more frequently than you’d like to admit.
You clear your throat. “You must have been staring at me to know that I was staring at you,” you bluntly reply. You bury your head back into the constellation book you have been studying, acting like nothing happened.
He chuckles. “No, it’s because it felt like someone was staring at me. Come on Y/N, I’ve been involved with the supernatural for 6 years now. I can sense anything and everything.”
You sarcastically roll your eyes and shrug it off, facing your book once more. You enjoy having these reading sessions with Dipper. You don’t talk to each other much during it, but just his presence makes you feel completely content. You are both sprawled out on the creaky attic bedroom floor; Dipper resting on his back and you resting on your stomach.
He waits for you to reply, but you never do. “Whatever,” Dipper scoffs. You can tell that he has a smile on his face without even looking at him. Dipper returns to his book.
Your mind wanders off again. You are trying to focus on reading, but you just can’t today. You feel too… distracted.
Dipper notices you staring off into space. “What’s on your mind?”
You look up at his concerned expression. “What makes you think something’s on my mind?” you question, already knowing the answer.
“You just look a bit lost,” Dipper notes. “What’s going on?” He sits up and places his book aside of him.
You pause for a moment and you try to think of what to say.
"Can we please talk about that night?"
"How do you feel about us ever since... that one night?"
"Oh you know, I've just been completely and totally ripped apart mentally and physically ever since that night."
“Are you just gonna continue asking me that?” you harshly reply. You immediately regret your response, but once your mind tells you to talk, you are unable to stop it.
“Maybe nothing’s wrong! Maybe I’m happy. I’m fucking happy, Dipper!” you shout. “See?” You point to your obviously forced smile plastered across your face.
“I hate it when you act like this,” Dipper grumbles.
Your face turns red. “You hate it when I act like this? Says the guy who acts like this constantly!” you snap.
“Maybe I wouldn’t act like that if you would be more cooperative with me! You’re always in such a pissed off mood!” he yells back.
“I’m not always in a ‘pissed off mood’! What’s that even supposed to mean?”
“Yes you are! Ever since…” Dipper stops.
Your face becomes pale.
You both hesitate to speak.
“Ever since what?” you sternly ask. You think you know what he's thinking.
Dipper squints, shakes his head, picks up his book and turns the page.
“Dipper, seriously?” you complain.
He ignores you.
“Dipper,” you gently plead.
You wait for him to answer.
Nothing.
"Dipper, come on! Ever since wha—”
“Ever since that night!” he shouts and slams his book on the hardwood floor.
He refuses to make eye contact with you. His eyebrows are furrowed as he stares at the ground.
You have a thousand words traveling through your mind, but you cannot seem to form them into sentences and force them out of your mouth. He remembers that night.
How could he forget something like that?
“Ever since that night,” Dipper interrupts your thoughts, “I can barely think straight. I barely eat. I barely sleep. I can’t do anything because I am always, always thinking about you and that night.”
He runs his fingers through his dark messy hair and pulls it. “God, I feel like such an idiot.”
“Why do you think I’ve been in such a pissy mood?” you softly ask. “It’s because I feel the same way.”
You lift yourself off of the floor, walk over to Dipper, and sit next to him.
He looks at you. “I just thought that was it, you know? I figured you got everything you wanted out of our relationship. One night stand type of thing,” Dipper's voice cracks slightly.
Your heart immediately drops. “Wh— why would you think that?” You are completely surprised. “Dipper, I would never— I wouldn’t… I would never do that to you. I’m so sorry you felt that way. I didn’t mean for it to come across that way.”
A faint smile appears on Dipper’s face, then disappears quickly. “Then what happened?”
You take a deep breath before speaking. “I thought after that night, that we were officially a ‘thing,’ you know? But the next day you didn’t really do anything. It was just our same friendship. Which, I obviously appreciate. But you… you didn’t act like I thought you would. I don't know. I guess we were both stupid, right? God, we are dumb teenagers. I really thought that—”
Dipper halts your rambling by placing his hands on your cheeks, cupping your face. He pulls you closer.
You can’t tell if you are feeling hot or cold. Your stomach is doing an infinite amount of twists, turns, and flips. You feel vulnerable, yet invincible. Your mind is pounding so hard that you can’t hear your voice in your head.
And you love it.
Dipper’s face becomes blurry as your eyes become glossy. A tear rolls down your cheek, and he brushes it away with his thumb.
The sunlight pouring in from the window reflects off of his hazel eyes, making them all the more breathtaking.
You wish that you could freeze this exact moment and live in it for an eternity.
Dipper breaks the comfortable silence. “I wish there was a better, less cliché thing to say right now than ‘I love you.’”
He pauses.
“But I do.”