Work Text:
You always knew things wouldn’t be okay after Dean’s death. You knew everything would go to hell without him and this was exactly what was happening.
You were always with the Winchesters since you were just a teenager. The first reason was a simple fact that your parents had died – your father had sold his sold his soul after you had died in a car accident that took your mother as well, bringing you back – and you had no one else to turn to than John, his closest friend. The second one was that Dean – your boyfriend for a long time – had accidentally gotten you pregnant just months before his father’s death. Even if you wanted to leave – not that you’ve once thought about leaving – you wouldn’t break that family even more.
When Dean sold his soul to save Sam, you were mad at him. It was a thing with that family: sacrifice after sacrifice after sacrifice. You even contemplated leaving so your daughter wouldn’t have to suffer the consequences of his decision but who were you to take away her last year with her father and Dean’s last opportunity to hold the little girl who looked so much like him?
So you stayed and promised yourself you would take care of Sam and make things right for one in that messed up family.
But oh boy wasn’t it hard?
You and Sam were moving from motel to motel, hunting and trying to keep the same rhythm you had before but pushing your grieving away wasn’t good to you two. Sam became distant, spending nights and nights away with no explanation and you had flipped your switch.
Man or woman, fully human or not, there’s only so much one can take because it is enough and your limit was Dean’s death. After he was gone, the only thing you had your mind on was keeping your daughter safe and getting rid of demons in any way possible. You didn’t need a book to perform exorcisms, you knew the words from scratch, and found yourself not even caring about the lives that had taken. The people were already doomed; there was nothing you could do for them anyway. Death was a better fate.
You had worked on yourself not to hate Sam. You knew Dean had died for him and he was there when your man was killed but there was nothing he could have done. Ruby, on the other hand, was someone you were looking forward to meeting again and send back to hell as many times you needed. Honestly, you couldn't stop dreaming about killing her fully with the angel blade your father had given you. She was a demon, you were half an angel, the hate already went deep. More than that: she was the reason you didn’t manage to reach Lilith when you could to save Dean from his contract, and you knew she had done that because she wanted him to die so she could have Sam.
When you found out she had gotten him, after all, you weren’t surprised. Furious, yes, but not surprised. The moment you saw her in your motel room, making out with Sam on his bed, your dropped your baby’s carrier and attacked her with all you had, shouting an exorcism while beating her up with all your anger. You would have been successful if Sam hadn’t interfered and say she was by your side.
This was the thing that had pushed you over the edge,
“I told you about her one million times, Sam.” You said, eyes focused on his face and bubbling with anger and your eye glowing blue in anger and disgust. “Bobby did it, Dean did it.”
“It’s not her fault he went to a crossroad demon to sell his soul.” He said with his teeth clenched.
“You’re right, it isn’t hers. It is yours.” You could feel your eyes digging into his very soul through his own eyes. “You’re the one he sold his life for. A selfish kid who only thinks about himself and doesn’t give a fuck to his family.”
The wings of Sam’s nose inflated with your words, holding back in his rage. You two had never talked about this. Damn, before Dean’s death you were best friends and now could barely look at each other.
“Same thing dad did for you.”
“And here I am.” You smirked, full of hate and feelings you wouldn’t be able to pull down into words even if you tried. “ Living; killing things; saving people. I’m turning his sacrifice into something while you’re fucking a demon bitch.”
Before he could stop himself, Sam slammed you into a wall, his grip keeping you pressed against the surface and his hand closed around your throat. He imagined you would at least be shocked by that but you didn’t even move your furious eyes from him. You could overpower him easily if you wanted to. It wasn't even a fair fight.
You’ve had enough.
“Are you gonna kill me now?” You questioned, emotionless. After Dean’s death, you didn’t even care anymore. “Cause if the answer to this question is yes, I need to call Bobby so my baby won’t be alone.”
You could see Sam was surprised with your reaction. Damn, you could see he was surprised by his own reaction.
“I’m not taking this anymore, Sam.” You continued. “You choose her or you choose this family. And if you choose her you’ll never see me or my daughter again in your life.”
He frowned, too surprised. Before going on their last hunt, Dean had made him promise he wouldn’t leave you two alone and would take care of you and your girl, Deanna.
“You can’t stop me from seeing my niece.” He argued.
“Try me.”
Sam swallowed hard, his Adam-apple bobbing up and down like he was clearly having trouble making that decision.
You watched silently when Sam released you and walked to his bed, where Ruby was sat. He stopped, looking at his duffel bag and then at her. You’ve had already taken Dean’s CD collection to your own car and his clothes were in your duffel. You had every single one of the things that could bring him to your memory. Everything Sam had was in that bag or in the Impala.
Surprising you, he silently bent down and grabbed his bag, standing up before standing up and giving you one last look.
“Come on.” He said to Ruby. “Let’s get out of here.”