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When she leaves Overwatch, Ana breaks every oath she has ever made, save for one.
I swear to serve.
Leaving is a selfish act—she does it because it is best for her, and not best for the people she loves, best for the world she lives in, best for the innocents who were under her protection. In doing so, she serves no one, save her own best interests.
I swear to protect.
Who has Ana protected, truly? Not her friends, she sees them battle their own demons, helps keep them alive long enough for them to fight again; not innocents, for innocent people are hurt each time she kills someone, for everyone is someone’s child; not her family, for Fareeha has now followed in her footsteps, and throws herself willingly into danger. Surely, she has done more harm than good.
I swear to be loyal.
If Ana were loyal to Overwatch, if she would not say it the way she does—grinding out the word, on the best of days—would not have come to hate it. If Ana were loyal to her office, she would have found a replacement for herself. If Ana were loyal to her friends, she would tell them that she is alive, that she is leaving.
I swear to uphold justice.
What justice has Overwatch dispensed? They have been judge, jury, and executioner, and she the worst among them—for she does not even look the people she has killed in the eyes, does not give them a moment’s warning or chance to plead for their life. What is more, they have killed whom they have been told to, have not questioned why, on whose orders, for what politics their service is demanded. What justice is that?
I swear to support you.
This, a promise to Jack when he assumed the role of Strike Commander—she swore to help him, to guide him, in a role he felt ill-prepared for. Between the two of them, they could handle many things, their weaknesses covering for one another, but now, with her gone, what will become of Overwatch? What will become of her oldest and most loyal friend?
I swear to defend you.
This, a promise to Gabriel, that she would not favor Jack over him, would not choose between them, would help him if the UN or Jack tried, again, to force him out. It was easier, then, to say such things, but they have changed, all three of them, and he is no longer the man she made that promise to. The things he has done, been made to, she could not defend any longer.
I swear to be strong.
This, a promise to Reinhardt, one he did not ask of her, but rather demanded. She had voiced her doubts to him, then, about Overwatch, some five years before, about her ability to continue on as she was, to maintain the delicate balance required to negotiate between Jack and Gabriel—she told him her fears, and he told her to be strong. She has not been strong, is not strong now, is weak, is running from her duties.
I swear to guide you.
This, a promise to Jesse, and she meant it about shooting at the time, perhaps, but in the greater sense, she still failed him. He needs her now, she knows, can see the conflict in his face—the same one she is having—and she ought to tell him to commit to staying, because the organization needs him, or leave, because it is better for him. Do anything but what he is now, questioning everything. It will destroy him, she knows. He will always wonder—did I do enough? Did I do too much? She could save him that, the years wasted in a life half lived, but she did not tell him before she left, and cannot guide him now.
I swear not to leave.
This, a promise to Angela, one she did mean, at the time, if only because she could not imagine a reason to leave in the foreseeable future, if things continued as they were then. Mostly, she meant it as a means of keeping Angela there, knowing it was what she needed to hear. Ana has done a lot of that in her life, said things for other people, and not because she meant them, herself. And now, she has left without a word, without a single empty reassurance that things will be fine, that all will be well, that everything will work out.
I swear to love you, no matter what.
This, a promise to Fareeha, is the only oath she has never broken. In keeping it, she has redeemed all her other faults—for she has served in her duty as mother, will continue to protect Fareeha (can do so better, now, as the Shrike, than she ever could before), is loyal to her daughter, supports her, defends her, guides her, even if not through her words. She will never leave Fareeha, not truly, will always help her in her quest to dispense justice, if only so her daughter lives, has an ending happier than her own. Every oath she has broken, she keeps through her relationship with Fareeha. For her, that is enough, has to be.
I swore, she reminds herself, I swore, I swore, I swore.
Every other oath, every other bond, she has discarded, but this one most important promise she must keep.
