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Tetsurou stares out the window, unseeing, completely ignoring the math homework spread out on the desk under his elbows. He wishes that Bokuto were here, and that’s really his whole problem. At any given time Tetsurou can catch himself thinking about his best friend, and it only gets worse when it’s something that Bokuto likes, or is good at, like volleyball and math and big, fluffy dogs that look like the ones that Bokuto walks as his part time job in between classes.
That's whats gotten him into this weird situation in the first place. He'd kept getting distracted by Bokuto even, especially, when he wasn't actually around. Between that and his parents' concerned inquiries into whether he'd found anyone special yet, Tetsurou was feeling pressured in a way that was stressing him out more than college did. And that’s how he’d made the decision to find a girlfriend, to try and ease as much of the burden as he could. Of course, he didn’t want to lead anyone on when he had no intention of pursuing anything serious, so he very cautiously asked a few friends until he found someone suitable.
Furutani Kamiko, one of the girls in Tetsurou’s Organic Chemistry lecture, turns out to be exactly what he needs. She’s smart, funny, and pretty, and most importantly, completely uninterested in any sort of real relationship. She’s probably the kind of girl Tetsurou would actually date, if he were into that kind of thing, and if she cared about romance at all. As it is they make a mutually beneficial deal: she’ll be Tetsurou’s girlfriend, for show, including family gatherings and the occasional date to have something to talk about, and he’ll keep her from being repeatedly harassed by the frat guys that insist she’s too pretty for the ‘nerd courses’ that she loves.
He knows this isn’t exactly the right thing to do, knows that actually it’s probably the wrong thing to do, but it feels right at least a little, when he can finally answer his parents’ queries the way they want. They light up the first time he agrees to bring his girlfriend to the next family dinner, and he tries to keep the grimace out of his smile as they ask polite questions about ‘the lucky girl’. He’s not sure how to tell them he doesn’t want a lucky girl, or any girl, or really anyone other than Bokuto. Each gathering goes well, and each time Tetsurou’s parents ask about his happiness, and he answers the best he can while trying to hide the truth.
A door slams somewhere else in the house and he jerks out of his reverie, glancing at the clock just as a knock sounds at the door, and he tries unsuccessfully not to knock all his homework to the floor. He calls out a shaky greeting as he kneels to scoop up the papers, and when he looks up again, Bokuto’s in the open doorway, grinning down at him.
“Uh, hi.” As eloquent as ever, he thinks to himself, and gets distracted by how Bokuto’s smile gets impossibly brighter, how it makes him feel warmer than the summer sun.
“Hey hey. I knew you had your math class today so I came to help you with your homework since usually have trouble.”
Tetsurou grins. “You know me so well.”
Bokuto laughs, and settles on the floor, back against the bed, so they have room to spread out. Homework goes as well as it ever does, meaning there’s more than once that Tetsurou finds himself thinking about Bokuto next to him, how he’s so smart, how he manages to teach Tetsurou stuff that flies over his head during class. He finds himself daydreaming about Bokuto so close to his side for other reasons, about the brushes of hands being something more than one of them grabbing a stray pencil or notebook.
He’s lost in a wandering fantasy about them snuggling up together, ignoring the homework and watching a movie instead, curling under Tetsurou’s blankets until they both fall asleep. It’s a nudge to his side that pulls him out of it, and he looks at Bokuto questioningly, until Bokuto nods toward the door. Kamiko is there, a soft smile on her face that Tetsurou can’t quite decipher, and Bokuto pats Tetsurou on the shoulder before getting up and stretching. He mumbles something about drinks and then disappears, leaving them alone.
Kamiko settles on the bed next to Tetsurou’s shoulder and rests a hand on his shoulder. He can’t help comparing how different it is to Bokuto’s, how much smaller and lighter. She clears her throat and he looks up at her, waits for whatever it is she wants to say.
“You know, when we started this thing months ago, you said you were gonna figure yourself out eventually.” She pauses, like she’s trying to find the right words, and then grins down at him again, her usual fire shining through. “It’s been six months, and I’m tired of your dumb mopey face. You gotta pull your head out of your ass and get your man.”
He can’t think of anything to do other than nod in agreement, and as she gets up she pushes him over, and they both laugh. He looks up at her as he pushes himself up on his hands. “Thanks, Kamiko.”
“Anytime, nerd.” She smooths down her skirt and smiles again. “See you later.”
Tetsurou listens to her leave, can hear Bokuto saying goodbye and the door closing gently. Then Bokuto’s footsteps are coming back down the hall, and he only pauses in the doorway a few seconds before plopping back down at Tetsurou’s side, handing him a bottle of water. “Everything alright?”
“Yeah.” Tetsurou takes a sip before continuing. Everything is fine, really. He’s not hurt, and he knew their arrangement would end eventually. He’s more uncertain about actually telling Bokuto his feelings like he knows Kamiko meant for him to do. “She said our thing is done, that’s all.”
“Oh.” Bokuto’s voice is soft, softer than it should be really, considering that he knew it wasn’t real too. “I would tell you that there are other girls out there, but I kinda don't want you to get another.”
He can’t help being confused. “What do you mean?”
Bokuto straightens his shoulders and looks Tetsurou in the eyes, determined yet still gentle. “I know how you feel. I was waiting for you to realize I feel the same.”
Tetsurou lets that sink in, blinks slowly as his brain tries to comprehend. “Oh.”
After that Bokuto doesn’t say anything else, just settles back into place and pulls Tetsurou’s homework back into his lap, going over one of the problems that Tetsurou’s already finished, waiting. Tetsurou’s not quite sure how to answer, not sure which words are the right ones, so instead he scoots a little closer and lays his head on Bokuto’s shoulder. Bokuto stiffens for a second, relaxes, and then he rests his head against Tetsurou’s. There’s a sigh of relief, and Tetsurou finds himself wondering why he couldn’t do this before, because nothing in the world has ever felt as right as he does now.