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Oikawa lived for praise.
(To a degree.)
He loved the way there were always someone to scream his name in encouragement, or have an endless crowd watching him win a game he had been preparing since the last season ended. It gave him a reason to be always on top of his game, to be aware of his background. His fans and peers made it possible for Oikawa to grow in an atmosphere that was unwelcoming to guys that weren’t certified prodigies. It took practice to be always camera ready while having a smile always being projected with strangers filling his vision until he went home. That was just his life now; one where he had to make sure his reputation shined by just his name alone.
The sports world was the same. He had to work on long hours for his body to keep up with every new opponent coming his way. It practically left him with so little hours to comb over his emotions and sleep. The schedule that he had to embrace since the end of middle school was breaking his body, but the results were what he was looking for. It was working, Oikawa was becoming a threat. (His looks didn’t hurt it either.)
His love life was a different story. He met a lot of people, with all different stories and wishes. It made him see how vague his were as he struggled to keep one longer than a week. Iwaizumi was concerned, but only showed it by angry punches and long stares that made him wince. His team was the same the way they noticed him becoming self-conscious of getting worse at picking partners. They didn’t say much but he knew what they were all thinking.
(“You have fangirls, isn’t that enough right now?”
“Do you really have the time to think of balancing a relationship right now?
“What about homework and practice? A captain should stay focused.”
“You aren’t looking for a wife, so why are you getting all antsy over kissing.”
“Didn’t you learn from your last disaster of dating a fangirl?”)
Oikawa was too aware of them; all unspoken or hushed behind his back. But that was the issue, he didn’t know how to explain that he was too alone. That he needed another body to talk to, and find a safe place to be himself. (The one that was disappearing out of nowhere.) He gained a popularity, a status that was bigger than he anticipated of ever getting. The price was too much the way he noticed he was losing himself. It was wrong to expect love being the answer to all his worries, especially if he was looking for in a high school campus. None of the student body masses were ready for this kind of on service or commitment.
But strangely enough (or foolishly if he was being honest), he kept praying to find it.
On his third year he thought he found it when his girlfriend at the time passed the week challenge. She was pretty, popular like him and didn’t appear to mind his passion for volleyball. (She did go to most of the practice slots.) Yet, that was where he should have seen it coming. He took long talking to his teammates about their training regimens, replaying too many games on his computer screen than paying attention to the way she frowned. It didn’t take long for her to scream in frustration and leave him.
Soaking in defeat wasn’t the healthiest. Oikawa was just tired of having the world go against his wishes. Which was why he was almost flabbergasted when he noticed Karasuno’s manager. She was a beauty; someone that seemed to hold no feelings for him or any action of wooing. It was like the world was mocking him; just as he was done feeling sorry for himself they pushed him into witnessing her neutral tone and cold demeanor.
His only condolence was that he had plenty of others to praise his work on the court.
(It didn’t really soothe him though.)
With a short meeting and a failed attempt to talk to her Oikawa reshaped his priorities after missing his chance of winning against Ushijima. He continued on school work in hopes to attending a great college that loved his potential in the court. His fan club went on watching him as he learned to step away from his insecurities. He caught whiff of Karasuno’s victories and summoned a clap or two. When the year ended and he started a new one, his mused about his childhood faded in silence.
As he relearned to play with a new team Oikawa laughed. Really loud. Making people around him stare at him and worry about his sanity. He couldn’t help it the way he saw life mocking him again. It dangled his old wounds with her pretty face. Her eyes were sharp, her voice drowned by his new adoring fans. His body felt hot, his fingers pressed tightly on the ball and then, he let loose.
They didn’t say much after he finished showering and escaping the crowds that impatiently waited for him. His face was smiling; she gave the impression that she recognized him from that day. It was a silent kind of conversation that opened up a new chance for him to open up. The recognition that daunted into their few words sparked something for him to ask for her number. He was only happy that she relented this time.
They texted longer as the weeks slipped away from his fingers. So much that it made him scarcely remember of his high school horror days. It felt so much easier to slip out of his old persona; Shimizu had dealt with a similar position when she joined track back then and when she was Karasuno’s manager. (Not in the same degree as his fan club in high school but, enough to joke around with him.) Naturally, their friendship evolved into stronger emotions.
Ones that made him feel more secure about himself and her. She was a blessing in the way she kissed him first all nonchalantly, making the world see he was hers. Held his hand firmly when his fears were falling on those silent nights he never liked to live through. Made him laugh until he couldn’t breathe when she shared viral videos on random times of the day. It gave him the impression that he was getting better at living.
Shimizu was his rock. All his silly little day dreams from back then were roaring now with vengeance. He was happy with the way everything was working, with a girlfriend that finally understood what made him who he was and not punish him for it. She made life so much brighter, and easier to wake up to. Oikawa was ready to pledge his heart and soul for her happiness. And it felt like the world was in agreement the way she continuously stayed by his side.
(And Oikawa wouldn’t have it any other way.)