Chapter Text
JONAS
Saturday
Jonas wakes up from the raucous laughter he hears filtering in through his bedroom walls. He glares at the door as he picks his phone up to check that it’s still 9am. “Oh for fuck’s sake” he groans loudly as he rolls back in bed and forcefully shuts his eyes, trying to squeeze out any last vestige of sleep he might find.
Less than a minute later he hears a loud clatter and what is unmistakably, a yelp from Isak followed by a long and loud laugh that’s too cheerful to be anyone but Even’s.
Jonas takes in a deep breath, trying to stem his irritation but can someone cut him some slack here? It’s Saturday morning and he was rudely awakened by Isak and Even, most likely being gross again and he’s honestly had enough of their bullshit.
Right on cue, he hears Isak saying something and he can’t quite catch the words because they’re too muffled, but his tone is unmistakably teasing and Jonas has to open his eyes and roll them so hard they might pop out of their sockets.
Don’t get him wrong, he loves Isak, they’ve been roommates for 3 years and best friends for nearly 10 but he can be a real idiot sometimes and the fact that he's not got it on with Even yet is a major indicator of that.
*
Even had moved into the apartment opposite his and Isak’s nearly two years ago, becoming the third roommate to Magnus and Mahdi.
Even’s addition to the group was seamless. It was like he fit in so easily with them, bringing a cheerful smile and a little bit of sunshine with him. So for the past two years it had been the five of them hanging out in their apartments practically every day after work, eating almost every meal together, celebrating Christmas together, even going on cabin trips together. They're more like family.
Jonas always suspected that Isak had had a little crush on Even from the day he moved in, but Even was with Sonja back then and Jonas figured that with time, Isak had gotten over it and they had just become best friends.
But sometimes, he sees the way Isak and Even are around each other and an ancient meme pops into his head, the one where there’s a stick figure forcefully pushing two heads together and the caption reads “now kiss”. Jonas feels like the stick figure.
He’s suddenly brought back by Even’s sharp squeal followed by Isak's loud laughing and Jonas can’t take it anymore. He whips away the blanket and swings his feet on the floor before storming out of his bedroom to see what this commotion is all about.
He sees them in the kitchen. Even’s hair is covered in flour and he’s got a mixing spoon in his hand that seems to be coated in brownie batter. He has a giddy look on his face as he’s moving towards Isak who’s loudly warning Even to stay away from him.
“Why did you throw flour in my hair Isak?” Even asks, his voice cracking, his face shining with unadulterated glee, “Huh? Why’d you provoke me with flour? You have to face the consequen-” Before he can finish, Isak grabs Even’s arm and tries to wrestle the spoon out of his hand.
“Oh my god Even stop being a dick give me the-”
With lightening speed, Even manages to scoop some of the batter from the spoon that’s struggling between them and he smears it on Isak’s nose with a loud cry of victory.
“YOU FUCKING DICK” Isak yanks the spoon from him but Even’s already doubled over, clutching his stomach, trying to get words out to probably gloat more, but unable to from his laughter.
“Ohhhh you did not, oh you did NOT just do that Even.” Isak says shaking his head and starts moving towards Even with a wicked grin, the weapon now in his hand.
“You wanna play dirty? You REALLY wanna play dirty Even?” Isak teases, knowing full well how helpless Even is, practically falling over from laughter and unable to defend himself.
Even manages a weak “no!” and tries to raise his hand to stop Isak from advancing any closer.
Neither of them have so much as noticed Jonas standing in the doorway watching the entire scene unfolding and he wants to be annoyed with them, by their loud yelling and laughing, by how they’re messing up the whole goddamn kitchen, by how (and there's no other word for it) cute they’re being but all he can do is witness the whole thing with a look of exasperated amusement.
Isak grabs Even’s hand that's between them, which makes Even look up just long enough for Isak to raise the spoon and wipe a wide streak of batter across Even’s cheek.
In that moment, all hell breaks loose as Isak drops the spoon and tries to run away, but Even wraps his arms around Isak’s waist from behind, caging him in as they both yell and threaten each other, broken by laughs and curses.
Isak manages to elbow Even in the stomach, freeing himself, and sprints out of the kitchen.
He pushes past Jonas, who's standing stunned in the doorway, and shouts back “SORRY JONAS!”
Even follows closely behind brandishing a stick of butter and bumping past him, also yelling “SORRY JONAS!” as he chases after Isak.
Jonas is left staring at the messy kitchen, his mind taking a minute to catch up to the scene he's just witnessed.
He hears thudding footsteps and crashing and quickly shakes himself out of it as he scurries towards the living room with a sense of wariness.
Isak is lying back on the couch, yelping with cries of ‘please’ and ‘ok I’m sorry Even, there I said it, are you happy now?’ as Even straddles him, stick of butter waving threateningly in one hand and his other hand laced with Isak’s, rendering it useless in case of any sneak attack that Isak has planned.
“Say you’re an idiot and you should never have attacked me in the first place” Even instructs.
“You’re an idiot and you never should have attack- OKAY! OKAY!” Isak half yells half laughs as Even brings the stick of butter very close to Isak’s cheek.
“I’m an idiot and I never should have attacked you in the first place” Isak concedes. Even is still looking down at Isak intently with one eyebrow cocked, like he’s deciding if Isak’s going to try and pull off any more shenanigans. Isak just looks back up at him very innocently.
After a couple of seconds, Even seems to be somewhat satisfied, letting go of Isak’s hand, and he’s just about to get off Isak when he mumbles “because you clearly suck at fighting back”
Even’s eyes widen before he says with a tone of finality “That’s it, I’ve fucking had it with you Valtersen” before diving in with the butter.
Isak blocks him and they begin wrestling while occasionally breaking into giggles, grunting and struggling with each other.
Jonas has had just about enough too and he’s about to clap and yell at them to fucking stop but just when he’s about to, the front door swings open and Vilde enters.
“Hello! The door was open so I let myself in, hope that’s alrig-” she stops suddenly as she surveys the scene before her. All three of them look up at her, Isak and Even instantly freezing mid wrestle.
Vilde looks like she has no idea what the fuck is going on and the smile on her face turns curious as she looks between Isak and Even and then at Jonas.
“Erm am I interrupting something?” she asks hesitantly.
Isak and Even immediately disentangle, clearing their throats and looking very sheepish.
Jonas is still recovering from what he just witnessed but he quickly answers, “Er no Vilde, that’s fine, come in”
Isak and Even seem to take the cue and start a chorus of “Not at all, you’re not interrupting”, “Come on in” , “Good Morning!”
Vilde looks pleased enough that she’s welcome here as her face splits into a grin.
“I actually came here to see how the baking is going” she looks at Isak and Even, her eyes lingering on the stick of butter in Even’s hand which he’s trying to surreptitiously hide behind his back.
“Oh er we’re, almost done I think?” Isak says as he looks towards Even who’s nodding sagely.
Jonas has no clue what they’re talking about. “Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?” he asks.
Vilde lights up and answers him with barely contained excitement in her voice
“Oh!! I asked Isak to help me with my bake sale for this charity where they help alcoholics in recovery so he’s making brownies! Isn’t that nice?”
Jonas nods and looks between Isak and Even and it’s like Isak can hear his question because he quickly says “And Even bakes really well so I asked him to help me.”
Jonas can’t help the smirk that tugs his lips. Yeah right. As if Isak and Even need to still pretend like they don’t want to spend every minute with each other and find any excuse to do so.
He tells them that they can bake whatever the fuck they want and go to whichever bake sale but they will have to first clean the kitchen and whatever mess they made because he sure as hell won’t.
Isak and Even mumble their apologies and comply immediately as they head towards the kitchen. Once they’re gone, Jonas sighs loudly.
“They’re so in love aren’t they?” Vilde whispers loudly while looking at Jonas with an amused grin.
Now while he doesn’t know Vilde too well, he does know that Vilde says a lot of foolish and absurd things that make absolutely no sense.
But fuck, if that isn’t the most accurate and sensible thing that she's ever said.
Jonas looks towards the kitchen, and shakes his head slightly, “I can’t say I disagree.”
EVA
Sunday
It’s raining outside and Noora cuddles deeper into Eva to share her warmth. Eva kisses her forehead lightly and they smile at each other. They’ve been together nearly 4 years and Eva can’t think of a time when she’s been happier. When Eva looks up again, she sees Magnus sitting across from them, bag of chips in hand, mouth agape and very obviously staring.
“What’s up Magnus?” Eva asks with a smirk.
Magnus shakes his head vigorously like a wet dog “No I just think you guys are super cute together”
“I agree” Even says as he looks up from shuffling Uno cards to smile softly at Noora and Eva curled up on the couch.
Before Eva can respond, the front door opens and everyone turns to look at Isak entering. He’s grumbling loudly, carrying a grocery bag in one hand and trying to close an umbrella with the other. He suddenly stops as he seems to realize there are people in his living room, Noora and Eva cuddled on the couch, Magnus sprawled on the lazy boy, Even sitting on the floor distributing cards on the coffee table.
“Oh hello people who don’t live in this apartment but seem to constantly occupy it.” His tone has no malice and he’s sort of grinning as he says it.
“Hey!" Noora calls out "Jonas had a shift at 4 so he left us and since it’s raining, we’re pretty much stranded here.”
“And you guys have the best snacks so..” Magnus trails off as he stuffs a handful of chips into his mouth.
Isak has removed his jacket and put the umbrella away when he comes over and high fives Eva as he surveys the playing cards that are now distributed.
“Wanna play?” Eva asks
“Nah maybe next round, I need to put this stuff away” he indicates the grocery bag.
“He’s just scared to play against me” Even says with a wink.
Isak snorts as he starts backing towards the kitchen, not breaking eye contact “Oh shut up Even”
Even raises a challenging eyebrow “Make me”
Isak’s already in the kitchen by now but they can hear his loud scoff as Even looks down and chuckles fondly.
Eva exchanges a look with Noora and they can barely stifle their giggles. Eva’s known Isak for nearly 10 years and she’s never seen him so clearly gone for someone. She finds it so bizarre that they still haven’t gotten together and she’d thought about talking to Isak about it but Noora had told her that it was better not to meddle in their relationship. Eva ultimately agreed and decided not to push it but every time she hangs out with Isak and Even, she can’t help but wonder how stupidly oblivious they are and if Eva had it her way she would slap them both on the head and sit them down to talk about their feelings for each other so they could get together for fuck’s sake.
They’re about to start the seventh round of Uno for the day when Isak pops out of the kitchen with, what appears to be half a dozen bottles of orange juice cradled in his arms.
“Hey Even, I finally found the juice you drank that one time at Sana’s house and couldn’t stop raving about for two weeks”
He walks over to where Even's sitting and puts them down on the coffee table as Even looks up at him in barely concealed awe.
“What the fuck is that some hipster orange juice or something? Magnus asks amused. “Like did they hand squeeze each orange and then store it in a mason jar for 3 days before selling it?”
Isak laughs a little but shakes his head “You’d think, but that’s actually some weird orange-carrot-mango cold pressed juice or something that you apparently only get in this one organic store.”
Magnus makes a noise of disgust and looks at Even very judgmentally.
“How’d you find it?” Noora asks.
Isak shrugs nonchalantly “I called up Sana to ask her where she got it from and she asked her brother because he was the one who had actually bought it, and he found the address which Sana forwarded to me and I picked it up today.”
There’s a bit of an awkward silence in the room as Noora and Eva look at each other and Magnus gawks at Isak. A very faint blush creeps up on Isak’s cheeks as Even seems to finally come to and squeezes his arm as he thanks him.
“Well shit Isak” Eva jokes, “I don’t even think Noora knows what kind of juice I like and she’s my girlfriend.”
Noora makes an affronted noise before Isak can say anything.
“I so know your favourite type of juice Eva! It’s..it’s..”
“WOW babe! WO-” Eva starts.
“Nooo hold on I know it okay? It’s...that one..you know, the..”
“BEEP time’s up” Magnus yells.
Eva huffs. “It’s grape! I literally drink it every morning, I’ve told you it’s the closest drink to wine, I am so disappointed bab-”
Noora interrupts “Okay Eva! I’m sorry! But you don’t drink it every morning..like once a week so I wouldn’t exactly guess that it’s your favourite would I?”
Magnus lets out a grunt. “Well it looks to me like the most stable and happy couple in our group, ‘Nooreva’ as we fondly call them, is a fucking sham because Isak and Even seem to know each other better than you two do and they’re not even dating.” Magnus declares as he leans back with a smug expression.
Eva can hear vaguely choking sounds coming from Isak and Even’s vicinity but she’s kind of caught up in her sudden feeling of protectiveness and defensiveness and she wants Magnus to take back what he said godammit! Noora and her are so in love, they’re perfect and they know everything about each other and while she loves Isak and Even individually and together she can’t have anybody thinking Noora and her are inferior especially because first of all, Isak and Even aren’t even a couple so that comparison is insulting and she fucking needs to sort this out like right now.
“Magnus, you don’t know what you’re talking about” Noora dismisses easily.
Magnus just shrugs but the smug smile stays on his lips and she knows he’s probably just being stupid to rile her up. Maybe because he's bored, maybe because he still resents her a little that Vilde broke up with him back in high school because she had a crush on Eva and realized she was lesbian. But still that’s not Eva’s fault in any way and Magnus probably knows that but she’s sure a petty part of him is really enjoying this.
“That’s it, we’re putting this to test right now.” Eva says as Noora sits up next to her.
“What do you want to test?” Isak scoffs.
“That Noora and I know each other better than you and Even know each other.”
Noora puts a hand on her thigh to try to placate her.“Baby we don’t need to prove anything to anyone! How would we even go about doing something like tha-”
“A QUIZ!” Magnus booms.
“A quiz?!” Even asks confused.
“OH YES A QUIZ!....type thing!” Magnus answers excitedly. “Ok so I’ll make a bunch of questions and one person has to write their own answer and the other has to write down the answer they think their partner wrote and we’ll keep points and see which couple knows each other the best!”
“We’re not a couple!” Isak and Even say at the same time.
Eva rolls her eyes.
“Ok this is dumb we’re not playing this, let’s just stick to Uno yeah?” Isak looks around the room for someone to agree with him.
“I agree Isak” Noora says tiredly.
Eva chances a glance at Even who looks contemplative more than anything and then at Magnus who’s just shaking his head and smiling to himself.
Oh that is it. Eva can feel the fierce competitiveness burn through her as she slaps her legs and stands up to walk towards Isak.
“Let’s make this interesting ok? We make a bet for 500 bucks. If we win, you owe us 500 but if you win, we give you 500. Deal?”
Eva ignores Noora’s whine in protest and fixes Isak with her fierce gaze. She knows Isak can get just as competitive as her and if the stakes are high enough, she knows he’ll definitely agree to it and right on cue, Isak takes the bait and nods slowly.
“Fine.” He smirks and extends his hand. “You’re on Eva.” Eva takes it and they shake hands firmly.
Suddenly Even is scrambling to his feet and standing next to Isak, looking at him like he’s gone completely mad.
“Um Isak, I’m a freelance photographer and still trying to get into film and I haven’t got my big break yet so I can’t exactly play for money right now because there’s a lot of other stuff I’d rather be spending on so I don’t thi-.”
Isak coolly turns and locks his gaze with Even’s as he says with a smooth, easy smirk, “Don’t worry Even, we’re not going to lose.”
Even exhales a little shakily and Noora groans as Magnus whoops, “Let’s do this people!”
*
After about an hour in which Magnus wrote down the questions and the participants were forced to watch TV so they didn’t interact and try to revise facts about each other, they’re finally ready to play.
They all have to sit away from each other so there’s no cheating so Isak and Even sit on the opposite ends of the couch while Noora sits on the lazy boy and Eva on the floor, each with papers and pens in hand.
Magnus stands in front of them and he starts with his impersonation of a game show host, “Leeeeeet’s begin folks! Are you rrrrready to rrrrumble? Make some noise for you host Magnu-”
“SHUT UP!” There’s a collective yell from everybody in the room.
“Gee whiz, an unenthusiastic group of participants toda-”
“MAGNUS!” Eva and Isak yell at the same time.
“God you guys are boring, okay fine I’ll start.” Magnus grumbles as he picks up the first card in his hands.
“First question, Even and Noora have to write their own answers and Isak and Eva have to write what they think their partner answered ok?”
There’s a murmur of assent as Magnus continues. “Ok first question here we go, how many pets have I had in my life and if so, name my first pet. GO!!”
Easy, Eva thinks because Noora’s never had a pet in her life so she writes 'none' on her paper. She glances over to see Isak furiously scribbling something on his paper.
“Your fifteen seconds are up people! Stop writing and Eva, please show us your answer.” Eva holds up her paper that says ‘none’ and Noora smiles as she brings up her own which also says ‘none’
“Well done Nooreva! One point to you for getting that correct! Now Isak show us your answer.”
Isak raises his paper up.
It says, ‘4 pets in total, 2 dogs Coco and Miko growing up, a turtle in high school called Baz and a goldfish which he bought when he just moved in here, that died in 3 months and which he morbidly called sushi.’
Even’s face splits into a grin and he lets out an endeared laugh as he brings up his own paper which says ‘4 pets in total, Coco and Miko were my first pets’
They high five.
Magnus scoffs as he says “Well er, that’s Evak being extra as per usual but one point to them too because Isak did technically get it right but please stick to answering the question relevantly next time Mr Isak Here’s-all-this-extra-information about-my-boyfriend-that-I-need-to-share-with-the-world Valtersen.”
“Shut up” Isak mumbles weakly.
“Ok onto the next question, this time we switch it up, Isak and Eva write your own answers, Noora and Even write your partner’s answers. Ok let’s go” Magnus clears his throat “What is your biggest fear?”
Eva has two big fears, one is getting old and the other is snakes but she thinks snakes outweigh her fear of getting old by a tiny margin so she writes that down.
“Time’s up, let’s have the big reveal people! This time, Even go first yeah?” Magnus nods towards him.
Even holds his paper up and Eva can’t help but snort at the answer ‘Opening letters laced with anthrax’
Isak holds his paper up to reveal the same answer as everyone bursts into laughter.
“What?! It’s a legitimate fear okay?” Isak says defensively.
“Bro who even sends letters anymore? Aren’t post offices extinct or something?” Magnus cackles.
“First of all they’re not extinct and what the fuck it’s like the scariest shit ever ok? And it’s happened before so laugh all you want but I’m not opening any letters without gloves and a face mask.” There’s another round of guffawing at that.
Isak just sinks further into the couch and rolls his eyes. Eva sees Even laughing and reaching out to rub Isak’s arm comfortingly as he says “Yeah ok, Isak’s fear is legitimate, everyone stop laughing.”
“You’re laughing too!” Isak accuses.
Even’s face drips with fondness as he squeezes his shoulder and sobers up before saying “You’re right sorry, I’m done, we’re all done. Anthrax is deadly and no one should take it lightly.”
“Thank you!” Isak sniffs and she can see him trying to hide his smile.
God they are actual boyfriends can they just get married already jesus fucking christ Eva thinks, shaking her head and exchanging a look with Noora.
“Ok!” Magnus says wiping a tear and recovering from his laughter, “Noora, you’re up”
Noora holds up her paper to reveal ‘Old age’ written in her beautiful loopy handwriting and Eva wants to scream because shit, they were so close.
Eva holds up her own paper which says ‘Snakes’ and she instantly hears Isak and Even’s whoops and high fives.
“Sorry baby! I was going to write snakes but I changed it last minute” Noora apologises and Eva waves it off because that’s ok, Noora knows her, that’s what’s important here and they’re going to easily make up this one point that they’ve lost so there’s nothing to worry about.
*
Ok so there’s a little to worry about. They’re 30 minutes and 11 questions into the game and they still haven’t made up that one point. Isak and Even had been really good, like exceptionally so and maybe she had underestimated how well they know each other. From Even’s biggest pet peeve (when people put ketchup on their eggs) to Isak’s allergies (shellfish and cat dander) they had got every single thing right.
This game was not at all going to plan. She and Noora are the couple here, they’re the ones supposed to be winning what the fuck.
Magnus holds up a hand to get their attention “Ok final question and this game could go either way because Nooreva are only a point behind, so you two-” he points to Isak and Even “-don’t get cocky. No pun intended.”
Isak groans and Even laughs as he pokes him in the side and holds out his hand and they high five, fist bump and then proceed to do a very dorky handshake.
“Oh my fucking god do you guys have a secret handshake? you guys are too lame! fuck do it again, I’m gonna record it and send it to Mahdi and Jonas.” Magnus cackles.
‘Shut up Mags and just ask the next question.” Isak drawls.
“Okay alright fine.” Magnus begins “Here we go ladies and gentlemen, dick lovers and pussy eaters- wait where are you guys going? Okay fine sorry, SORRY! Jesus, fuck sit back down ok I’ll ask the question just chill guys! Okay, Okay here we go, final question” Magnus clears his throat loudly to amp up the theatrics “For this round, Eva and Isak please close your eyes.”
“What?” everyone says at the same time.
“Just do it, quickly, close your eyes NOW!” Magnus instructs and they both confusedly do it.
“Ok so Even and Noora have to write down the answer to this question and we’re going to see who gets it absolutely and perfectly correct. You have 20 seconds, what is the color of your partner’s eyes? GO!!”
She can hear Noora and Even scribbling away and Eva is fully confident that Noora’s going to get this right because after all, they’ve spent countless hours staring into each other’s eyes when they wake up together in the morning or during pillow talk but she feels like Even might not really get it and the question’s possibly a little one-sided because how often do you really observe your friends eyes intently enough to remember the exact color, so this question may be unfair but that just means Noora and she will win this round so she can’t exactly complain about it.
“This is a really dumb fucking question” she hears Isak muttering.
“HEY! No insulting the questions, I can minus points for that you know?” Magnus calls back and that effectively shuts Isak up.
“Alright time’s up everybody pens down, let’s have at it, Noora please show us your answer.”
Noora smiles as she holds up her paper which says ‘the most beautiful blue-gray eyes’
Eva can’t help but blush and she rushes over to Noora and kisses her.
“Hey, hey that’s enough of that, Eva please step up, I’ll be the judge of that answer” Magnus calls out.
Eva steps up and Magnus inspects her eyes for 5 seconds before conceding Noora’s answer and declaring it to be absolutely correct.
“I’m going to give them two points for that because of the ‘most beautiful’ part because it was cheesy as fuck and I live for that shit. Frankly, I don’t even think we have to look at Even’s answer because I don’t think anything can beat that.”
“Hey what the fuck, you can’t just give them two points that’s not fair!?” Isak stands up and looks ready to fight. “Eva, please tell Magnus he can’t do that, you always play by the rules, this is bullshit and you know it, first of all, the question was unfair and now this!”
Eva shrugs a little sheepishly because she really, really wants to maintain the lead here.
“I can give whatever points I want since I’m conducting this and chill ok we’ll see Even’s answer and decide.”
Isak looks at Even pointedly like he’s asking him to help him out but Even just looks a little out of it and simply mouths “We’ll see” to him.
Isak huffs irritably and sits back down looking extremely disgruntled and glaring daggers at Magnus.
“Ok Even, let’s see your answer” Magnus requests.
Even raises the paper up and Eva’s mouth falls open a little because it looks like there’s an entire fucking essay written on it.
‘His eyes are light in the mornings and they shine like marbles, pistachio green with a hint of gray. In the evenings they look much darker, closer to pine tinged with moss. But sometimes, when the sunlight hits them directly, they turn emerald and it looks like there are little golden specks floating in a pool of green.’
There’s a stunned silence and everyone’s left blinking at the paper for a few minutes.
It’s Magnus who comes to first, “a 1000 points to Extra Bech Naesheim! That’s the most beautiful shit, I’m probably going to cry what the fuck Even?!”
Eva looks over to Isak who’s just staring at the paper and still blinking stupidly.
“I declare Even and Isak to be the winners!!” Magnus cheers.
Eva shakes her head, trying to contain her laughter and looks over at Noora, who has an amused and exasperated grin on her face.
“So whipped” Noora mouths and Eva bursts out laughing.
She can’t believe these two idiots and she can’t even care that they lost because Isak and Even are really something else. They’re boyfriends who don’t know they’re boyfriends and she wants to just shake them and yell at them but she settles for walking over to Isak and smacking him lightly in the chest.
“Congratulations you dork, well played.”
Isak seems to suddenly comes to and he grins sheepishly “Er, yeah thanks Eva”
“Congrats boys!” Noora calls out.
“Thanks!” Isak and Even chorus.
They finally look at each other and grin as Even scoots closer and they high five.
“Well” Isak says, “We make a good team.”
“Sure do” Even replies.
They’re staring at each other with the biggest smiles, hands still clasped together from their high five.
Magnus rolls his eyes, “Oh get a room already!”
They unclasp their hands quickly and awkwardly clear their throats.
Magnus looks around “Well that was an excellent game, both teams played well, and might I add that I did a fantastic job with the questions”
Everybody claps as Magnus exaggeratedly bows and wipes away an imaginary tear, thanking everyone profusely.
Once the laughter and claps die down, Isak suddenly says “Oh! before I forget, I think the girls owe us some money? You’ve got some fresh, crisp bills for us I believe? 500 if I’m not mistaken? Hm?”
“Ooh! That’s right ladies!” Even joins in “We’re out here just raking in that moolah!” And they both break into a little jig and gesture like they’re throwing around imaginary money.
Eva rolls her eyes at their ridiculous antics. “Oh fine we’ll give you your money, stop gloating.” Fucking dorks in love.
*
It’s not until another hour later that Noora and Eva finally leave so they can get home in time to make dinner.
They’re holding hands and walking to their apartment that’s just a few blocks away when Noora asks with an amused grin on her face, “Okay so I have a question. When are Isak and Even going to finally get together?”
Eva let’s out a chuckle. “I have no fucking idea. Aren’t they practically boyfriends already?”
“Oh my god what was that answer Even wrote for the color of Isak’s eyes?” Noora asks shaking her head. “And I thought my answer was cheesy!”
Eva pulls her girlfriend closer and kisses her cheek “Well I loved your answer babe.”
Noora hums in acknowledgment “Ok seriously though, what are we going to do about this Evak situation?”
“Hello! You were the one who told me not to meddle with their lives!” Eva reminds her.
“Well that was back when I didn’t know how clearly in love they are!” Noora defends herself.
“Hmm do you think anyone else has noticed? Jonas sees them every day, he’s definitely got to have seen it right?!” Eva says excitedly.
“Maybe you should subtly bring it up with him sometime? See if he’s caught on?”
“Maybe I will” Eva agrees.
They continue to walk in comfortable silence for some time until Noora asks, “So, what are we making for dinner tonight?”
Eva hums “I’m feeling like something light. Maybe a nice salad?”
“Sounds good" Noora nods "What are we eating for dessert then?”
Eva leans into Noora and whispers in her ear “Well if you really wanna know," her face breaks into a wicked grin "I was thinking of eating you for dessert tonight.”
Noora’s ringing laugh echoes into the night.
CHRIS BERG
Wednesday
It’s 6:45pm on a dull Wednesday and Chris is listlessly checking out people’s items, collecting money and mechanically returning change. Being a grocery store cashier may not be the worst job in the world but it’s certainly up there. The day’s gone by very slowly and Chris has 15 minutes till she can finally clock out.
After she returns some change to an old lady, she turns to see the next customer waiting in line and it's Sana with a small smile, black lipstick and black hijab in place.
“Sana!” she says feeling happy for the first time all day.
“Hey Chris!” she waves cheerfully “Shift almost over?”
“Oh I’ve been dying. How has med school treated you this week?”
Sana shakes her head and exhales “Oh the usual, it’s killing me but I love it”
Chris laughs as she starts checking out her items.
“We’re still on for Sunday lunch right?”
“Of course” Sana smiles
Before they can continue chatting though, they hear familiar voices laughing and bickering from one of the aisles nearby. Chris cranes her neck to find her two favourite customers shopping.
Isak and Even have been providing her with weekly entertainment ever since she started working here last year.For the entire first month Chris had assumed that they were boyfriends and when she had asked Sana about it, she had just scoffed and told her that they were nothing more than really good friends. It took a long time for Chris to actually believe Sana because every time she saw them together and the way they playfully bickered, laughed and looked at each other so fondly, she felt more and more certain that they were together and later became more and more astonished that they were not. So Chris took great enjoyment in teasing them, especially in the odd times that they came alone to the store.
“Boyfriend stayed home today?” she’d once casually asked Even while checking out his items. He’d first looked very confused and then he’d gone a delightful shade of pink as he clarified that Isak wasn’t his boyfriend.
Isak’s reactions were far more entertaining though. He would turn crimson and scarlet, squeaking that he didn’t have a boyfriend and that he had no idea what she was talking about, no fucking clue. Once she had very innocently said, “Oh you know, the hot, tall blondie you always come here with?” Isak had vigorously shaken his head “Just a friend.” he had choked out.
While it always looked so obvious to her, they seemed to be completely oblivious. Are they oblivious to their own feelings? To each other’s feelings? Maybe both? A complete mess, Chris had decided.
So then what was the harm in her messing around a little more with them.
“Well if it isn’t tweedledee and tweedledum” Chris announces.
Sana chuckles “The other day, Isak called me up to find out where I bought some juice that Even apparently likes and it’s really far away but he still went and bought it for him.”
“Oh really? It’s been a while since I embarrassed Isak, I should go talk to him about that once I’m done here” Chris cackles “Wonder what they’re bickering about today.”
Right on cue they hear Isak groan “-oh my god Even you’re so lame”
Chris and Sana turn to look at the fruit aisle where Isak and Even are standing.
“No no wait! I have another really good one!” Even says excitedly as he holds up a watermelon in front of his face.
“Let’s run away and get married!”
He quickly puts the watermelon down and holds up a cantaloupe
“I’m sorry but I...cantaloupe!!”
Even bursts out laughing at his own joke “Get it? Cantaloupe? CAN’T ELOPE!!”
Isak is groaning, rolling his eyes and trying very hard to suppress a smile.
“I am never going shopping with you ever again.” he declares.
“Oh please you love it, I’ve heard you re-telling my puns to Mahdi” Even says with a grin.
Isak shoves him aside playfully as he starts picking up some fruit
“That was like one time okay? Oh! And speaking of stealing, I want my Nas t-shirt back, I know you stole it Even.”
“Excuse me?” Even reels back dramatically and clutches his chest. “I DID NOT steal it, I borrowed it!”
“Without my permission.” Isak says as he holds up a bunch of grapes.
Even huffs “Without your permission, ok fine, but let me just remind you that you wouldn’t even have that shirt if I hadn’t introduced you to Nas so if you really think about it, that shirt is mine as much as it is yours.”
“What? That argument makes no sense Even. So if I show you a picture of a cat, and then you go and adopt a cat, that cat becomes our shared pet?”
“Are you comparing Nas to cats?”
“It’s an analogy!”
Even shakes his head “Ok it's really unrealistic because we could never adopt a pet cat because you’re allergic, remember?”
“Fine a dog then.”
“Ooh that could work. What breed do you want?” Even is practically bouncing on his feet as he asks.
“Even! We’re not adopting a dog together”
“You sure?” Even sidles up right next to Isak as he adds a cluster of bananas into his basket “We could walk him in the park Isak! Think about it!”
“Even, we both live in really small apartments, unless we get a Chihuahua, we can’t keep a dog in there.”
Even’s eyes widen like he’s heard a brilliant idea and he pulls out his phone and furiously starts typing.
“Stop checking the cost of Chihuahua adoption” Isak says while inspecting an apple.
Even splutters as they disappear down the aisle.
Sana rolls her eyes. "Idiots" she smirks
Chris nods solemnly, “I’m going to go up after my shift to ask if they know anyone who’s interested in adopting a Chihuahua that my great aunt Thea is too old to look after.”
Sana chuckles as she pays the bill “Be careful, Even may really take you up on that” she warns.
“Oh I can’t wait to see the looks on their faces when I tell them that my great aunt Thea is only going to give it away to couples so the dog feels like it has parents” Chris grins.
“Good idea” Sana picks up her bags as Chris prepares to close her counter and clock out.
“Don’t forget to bring up the ordeal Isak went through to get Even’s favourite kind of juice” Sana reminds her as she starts walking towards the exit.
Chris snickers. “Bye Sana!”
Sana waves back as she leaves the store.
Chris clocks out and removes her apron as she heads down the fruit aisle.
It’s going to be a fun Wednesday after all.
ESKILD
Friday
“Mahdi, could you please call Jonas again and ask him if they’re on their way here?”
“Call him yourself” Mahdi retorts, eyes never leaving the screen as he plays FIFA.
They’re the only ones in Isak and Jonas’s apartment and it’s almost 7pm.
“Oh curse you!” Eskild exhales dramatically before sauntering to the window to look down into the street to search for any sign of Jonas or Magnus.
Eskild had planned this whole thing out on very short notice but he's determined to make it a success.
He already knows how completely gone Isak is for Even and in his many interactions with Even, Eskild’s deduced that Even is also quite stupidly in love with Isak and they may not know it yet or want to acknowledge it but it's been too long and Eskild can't take it anymore. Oh! and now they’re at Even’s parents’ house having dinner together for god’s sake.
Eskild is of course, very protective of Isak, he wants the best for him and he's positive that Isak and Even are perfect and if they continue to stay oblivious or they refuse to do anything about their feelings, it’s Eskild’s duty as Isak’s guru to give him that little push he needs. So now he’s hosting this meeting and he needs Jonas to come through quickly.
As if in answer to his prayers, there's a key moving in the door and Jonas and Magnus step in, hands full with grocery bags.
“Oh thank god you guys are finally here, everyone will be arriving in fifteen minutes we need to be lightening quick okay?” Eskild scurries to them “Magnus give me that bag, what’s in it? Is that-“
“Hey! That’s for me!” Magnus grabs the grocery bag back and cradles it to his chest protectively.
“You bought an entire bag of junk for yourself? Where’re the snacks we put out in bowls for everybody else? I trusted you boys with thi-“
“Here” Jonas drops two bags into Eskild's arms “that’s for the party. Or whatever this thing is. What is it again?” Jonas asks as he removes his beanie and runs a hand through his curls.
“Oh you know what it is.” Eskild waves dismissively “This is a meeting for Operation Evak”
“I thought that was a joke” Jonas looks incredulous.
“I thought we were calling it Operation GD for Get Dick?” Magnus looks around earnestly.
“Nooo I’m not joking!” Eskild whines “Jonas! I am very serious okay? These two boys are in love, they’re in love Jonas!! Do you think I’m going to sit back and watch them waste their lives like this? Absolutely not! We’re their friends; it’s our duty to help our other friends! Mahdi agrees with me, right Mahdi?”
Eskild gestures to Mahdi who’s paused his game and is looking at Eskild unenthusiastically.
“I don’t know man I was promised waffles so I’m here but I guess I agree” Mahdi shrugs.
“HAH! Mahdi agrees” Eskild preens.
“Okay so then what exactly is this meeting going to be like?” Jonas asks
“Well, all of Isak and Even’s closest friends are going to be there and we’re going to make our game plan to get them together.”
Jonas sighs “Isn’t that a kind of-”
Eskild cuts him off with a sharp clap “Let’s move people, we’ve got chips to fill in bowls and plans to make to get two idiots to finally kiss!”
*
It takes another hour for everyone to arrive and then settle in. Noora, Eva, Mahdi and Magnus are on the couch; Jonas is in on the lazy boy, Vilde and Chris are sitting on the floor and Sana has a chair pulled up. They’re drinking beers or coke and there’s a variety of chips and popcorn laid out in bowls on the coffee table.
Eskild stands in front of the group feeling fully satisfied with how things are going so far. They need to wrap up in another hour, before Isak and Even get home and everything is going to be perfect, he feels it, so he clears his throat to get everyone’s attention.
The room quiets as Eskild starts, “Alright ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls! You may be wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today and it is my deepest honor to welcome you to the first ever meeting of Operation Evak!!”
“Oh my GOD! Is that what this is?!” Eva squeals
“FINALLY!” Chris shouts
“Before we go on, I propose that we call this, 'Operation Get Dick' who’s with me?" Magnus looks around hopefully."Should we take a vote?”
Eskild continues “So as you all know, Isak and Even are friends, best friends even.” He pauses for dramatics, “however, they are also utterly, thoroughly and completely whipped for each other.”
At that, there are loud cheers and shouts from around the room.
“Oh my god Noora and I have been dying to talk about this with someone, so you guys noticed too?!” Eva asks excitedly.
“How can anyone not notice? Have you seen the way they look at each other?” Vilde pipes up.
“And the way they constantly gush about each other?” Sana smirks.
Magnus suddenly laughs, “Guys remember that time Even was out of town and Isak got really drunk and started saying he missed Even and shit? That was hilarious!”
“Wait was that the time Mahdi tried to microwave a bar of soap?” Jonas asks.
“Oh fuck yeah man!” Mahdi chuckles.
“Okay, okay can we get back on track here? We’re on a very tight schedule and we need to wrap up before they get back.”
“Wait where are Isak and Even?” Noora asks.
“They’re having dinner at Even’s parents’” Jonas responds.
“Do they do this often?!” Vilde asks confused.
“Isak goes there like once every two months maybe, Even’s parents love him and they live close to the university where Isak works so yeah, pretty often I guess.” Jonas clarifies.
While they're discussing that, Eskild busies himself by pulling out a whiteboard from his bag and leans it against the wall on the TV stand.
“Eskild what are you-”
“Oh just a little something I got to make things more organized” Eskild says before opening the marker cap with a pop.
There’s some chuckling going around the room but he couldn’t care less about that right now.
He writes Isak+Even in big letters in the centre and draws a heart around their names,
"So! Do we have any ideas? I’m going to write them all down here” he taps on the board.
Everyone’s quiet for about a minute and Eskild is about to reprimand them for their lack of enthusiasm when Eva suddenly gasps
“I know! We can have a party and get them drunk and play spin the bottle and make them kiss!”
Eskild frowns as he writes ‘Get them drunk’ on the whiteboard.
“Even doesn’t drink” Jonas drawls.
“Also, that’s not at all romantic, we can’t have them hooking up when they’re drunk” Eskild dismisses.
“Hello? That’s how Noora and I got together” Eva says defensively.
“And I’m very glad that worked out for you darling!” Eskild smiles kindly as Eva pouts and sinks back into the couch.
Eskild puts a big X next to the first suggestion.
Magnus snaps his fingers “What if we just went to them straight up and said ‘Boys, get your shit together, you’re in love, all of us can see it and they realize, yada yada and BOOM, next thing you know, we’re walking in on them having sex in the kitchen.” He raises his hands behind his head and sits back on the couch with a smug expression.
Mahdi throws a curious glance at Magnus “That’s a very specific thing to imagine man.”
“Look, if we confront them directly, they’re going to deny it and it’ll just make things awkward between them.” Noora responds.
“Excellent point Noora.” Eskild says as he starts to scribble down ‘Tell them directly’ and then puts a big X next to that too.
“Ooh! I know!” Vilde squeals suddenly, “How about we have a get together and each of us has to discuss our feelings, maybe we could do some love exercises? Create a safe space for them to confess their love? Yeah?” she asks hopefully.
There’s a moment of awkward silence as everyone looks around the room, trying to think of a polite way to say that’s a terrible idea.
Eskild clears his throat and settles for “Oh you know, I’ll just put it down here and we’ll see.”
Vilde nods enthusiastically.
‘Do love exercises and confess their love’ Eskild writes down on a small, inconspicuous corner of the board.
“What else?” Eskild taps his foot impatiently as he looks around.
There are a few more bland or impossible suggestions before everyone goes quiet.
“Come on people we’re not thinking hard enough!” Eskild cries.
“Or maybe, this is really ridiculous and you can’t force people to be together so we should all just forget about this and let it happen naturally if it’s meant to be.” Jonas says quietly.
There’s a murmur of assent.
“Yeah man” Mahdi adds, “There’s nothing we can do here to make sure they get together. We don’t even know how they really feel right?”
“But it’s so obvious! I see them grocery shopping every week and they’re so gross! I’ve seen married couples who act less cheesy!” Chris points out
“Yeah, isn’t it our duty as their friends to help them out in whatever way we can?” Eva asks
“How do you know this even falls under friendship duties huh? Do you have the manual or something?” Magnus asks
“I’m just trying to be a good friend in the way that I know okay?” Eva snaps back.
“But then again-” Jonas starts and suddenly everyone erupts into a discussion on whether or not something like this is appropriate and can fall under one’s friendship duties.
Eskild sighs loudly. All he wants is the best for Isak and he just wants him to be happy, this is all going wrong, and he wants to cry out in frustration, and make the others understand where he’s coming from and he’s about to shush all of them so he can make his point when-
The front door suddenly opens and Isak and Even enter, laughing lightly but they freeze at the sight before them.
It takes a second for everyone else in the room to take notice of the new entrants but when they do, there’s a mad scramble.
Magnus is the first to jump out of his seat to go bear hug them (The boy may not be bright but at least he knows how to diffuse the tension in the room) which Isak deftly avoids. Isak's curiously surveying everyone in the room and then his gaze falls on something directly behind Eskild. His eyes grow wide and his mouth slackens a bit.
Eskild follows his gaze and OH MY GOD.
The whiteboard with Isak+Even and a big heart drawn around it is RIGHT THERE.
Eskild nearly jumps as he hastily grabs the whiteboard and shoves it roughly into his bag while also trying to wipe it clean.
He chances a sheepish glance at Isak who’s just staring at him with his brows deeply furrowed.
Eskild wants to kick himself but he needs to think fast now. He has no idea how much Isak saw or if he’ll even be able to deduce anything from it but he decides it’s best not to act suspicious or guilty so he walks towards Isak and wraps him up in a big hug.
“Kitten!” He coos and there it is, Isak’s usual wriggle to try to free himself and he feels somewhat relieved.
“How was dinner at Even’s parents’?” he asks
“Er good? What are you doing here?!” Isak asks suspiciously
Eskild uses his favourite tactic, deflection "Oh what, you think I only come here to meet you? I have other friends too Isak!”
“Okay..but how come all of you are here? Nobody told me we’re having a party tonight.” Isak observes the room dubiously.
“So isn’t this a wonderful surprise then? Come on baby, let’s party!” Eskild smacks a kiss on Isak’s cheek and then scurries to Jonas to make arrangements for loud music to be played immediately.
The faster he can give Isak a beer or two and sufficiently distract him with a party, the faster he forgets about this whole thing.
*
Half an hour later, and they really do have a party going on in full swing. Magnus had brought out a large bottle of cranberry vodka from his apartment, they already had beers and snacks and they just had to rearrange the living room furniture to create a dance floor where currently, Eva’s grinding up on Noora and Vilde and Sana are dancing.
Chris, Magnus, Mahdi and Even are at the dining table, trying to play beer pong but very unsuccessfully because 3 out of 4 participants are too inebriated to even set the cups up correctly.
Eskild is flitting around and quite uncharacteristically, trying to maintain some semblance of law and order in this party so they don’t get the cops called on them. He goes to the living room, just in time to see Jonas coming out of the balcony where he was getting high with Isak, who’s already making a beeline towards the dining table where Even is.
Eskild has to bite his cheek to keep from smirking. He casually follows Isak.
“Can I be on your team?” Isak asks with a dopey smile
“You’re always on my team!” Even laughs as he wraps an arm around Isak’s shoulder and pulls him closer.
Eskild can feel his heart melting and he knows he’s looking all soft at them being so utterly adorable but he just can’t help it.
Isak is grinning but when he looks up and catches Eskild’s gaze, it’s like he has a sudden moment of clarity. He blinks rapidly at him, grin falling and suddenly removes himself from Even’s grip and mumbles a weak excuse to leave. He brushes past Eskild and disappears in a matter of seconds.
Eskild doesn’t see him anywhere for the rest of the night.