Chapter Text
Dear lovely Tommy,
read this with care please. I know how sensitive you are and how easily you get hurt. Unfortunately I got to know this by finding it out by myself. And I am dearly sorry for whenever I hurt you. Everytime I hurt you I hurt myself even more. I always knew when you were hurt and I perfectly knew how to comfort you again. Isn't it funny that I always knew how you feel at anytime? This is because I absolutely love you and appreciate you more than anything in the entire world. I know you for over 5 years now and I never got tired of you. You surprised me everyday with how adorable you are. Everyday I got to know you more and more. It's like you became my other half. I literally know everything about you. Someone could ask me the hardest questions about you and I would answer them easily as if it were a question about me. I know you more than I know myself and I do only care about you. I care more about you than I care about myself.
Do you remember how we met, Tommy? It was at May 15, 2012, I remember exactly how you looked at me and instantly fell for me. And I instantly fell for you, Tommy. We didn't talk a lot this day and we didn't spent a long time together but I can say that this was one of the best days of my entire life. It's like my life just started by this day as I met you and looked into your wonderful brown eyes. I remember that it was Minho's birthday and I do remember how he told me once about a friend who had a hard time. As I saw you I knew that you was this friend. And I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you in such a hard time. But how could I blame myself I didn't even know you then. But I wish I would have. Long Story short. I'm incredibly happy that Minho invited me to this amazing party at this amazing day even if we didn't talk that much before his birthday. First I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. Back then I wasn't really confident as you already know. But I don't regret it. My dearly Tommy. Before you continue to read this I want you to go to our place. But I think you're already there.
Do you remember the first time we've been here? January 19, 2013? And do you remember how excited you got as I went for a kiss? Our first kiss? It feels like as if it just happened yesterday but it just happened 4 years ago. I miss kissing you. I miss everything about you. How you always pulled me a little bit closer everytime I kissed you. How you smiled when I took your hand and lightly squeezed it. How you got really excited when your favourite Tv show was on. How you always took care of me when I just took care of you without caring about myself. How you always calmed me down when I got upset. Everything. I really miss everything about you. This place is full with memories. Full with love and tears. And you, Tommy. It's full with you. Wherever I look here, it reminds me of you. The whole place is just you. But any time anyone is ever mean to you, or if you ever feel bad, or even just want to talk, I want you to come back to this exact spot. This is where I'm going to be forever and ever. And I'll be listening. And Tommy? Please don't cry. I know this is hard for you and it's even hard for me. But keep going. I will always be there for you. I love you so much.
-Newt