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"Where are we going?" Kame asked, gripping onto the hand rails as the bus lurched around a corner. It was KAT-TUN's only day off in Sydney, after having filmed specials for three days straight, and it was Christmas Day. None of them was quite sure why they weren't just being shipped back home straight away, especially on a holiday, but none of them had the energy to fight it either.
However, Junno had decided that it would be a special day for the six of them seeing as it was their first Christmas away from Japan (Jin didn't count), and there was a surprise in store for them. Kame didn't like surprises, especially those that involved seemingly winding routes on public transportation. He glared at Junno, who was sitting in the disabled seating with three heavy bags and an even heavier cooler, and wondered why they had needed to take public transportation anyway. They had taxis in Australia.
"If I told you," Junno replied patiently, swatting at Jin's hand as he attempted to open the cooler, "then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?"
"Can you at least tell us why you were looking through our suitcases this morning?" Jin asked, sitting on the cooler instead of trying to pry it open. Kame wished he had thought of that, and idly considered sitting on Jin's lap, but then remembered that Jin's was, actually, a really good question.
"Nope," Junno replied, shaking his head. "That would ruin part of the surprise."
"Is this even going to be Christmas-related? Or are you trying to distract us from the fact we're not at home?" Koki asked, folding his arms around the hand rail that Kame was trying to hold onto.
"We are going to have a traditional Australian Christmas, and that's all I can tell you," Junno said, nodding at the end of his sentence and Kame was pretty sure that there was no wrestling the information from him now. There was a reason Junno was the only person Kame ever trusted with his secrets.
"If we end up at a strip club like last year, Junno, I'm going to kill you," Nakamaru said, squinting against the sun as he looked out of the window.
"I think we should all just be patient and see what Tagu-chan's come up with," Ueda replied serenely from the seat behind Nakamaru, looking around at all the other people on the bus. Kame privately thought that Ueda was full of shit and was just as curious as the rest of them, but he took it back when the bus lurched again and he fell heavily to the dirty floor. Instant karma was a bitch.
---
The trip seemed interminable, but after a while it became obvious what they were up to. The bus rounded a corner and headed down a steep hill and then all of a sudden there was a shock of white sand, sea-green ocean and blue skies.
"Welcome to the famous Bondi Beach!" Junno announced, standing up as the bus paused at a traffic light and spreading his long arms in a grand gesture. "It is regarded as one of Australia's top beaches, with tourists flocking here all year round. It is named after the Aboriginal Australian word 'bondi', which means 'water breaking over rocks'. Though the water can be dangerous in some places, the northern side of the beach is rated as very safe, but please remember to always swim between the flags and if you feel as though you are drowning or in danger, the international signal for 'help!' is to hold your hand straight up in the water like so." Junno stuck his hand straight up in the air and promptly hit the overhead hand rails, which sounded like it hurt. Then the bus began to move and he was thrown awkwardly into Jin, who was quite stable sitting on the cooler.
"Thank you, tour guide," Jin said amidst Junno's apologies, helping the boy back into his seat. "But none of us have anything to swim in. Look at us."
It was then that Kame actually looked around at their group. Somehow, despite the fact that they had been putting up with the swealtering heat for the last few days, they seemed to have forgotten that it was the middle of summer, and their clothing was - to say the least - inappropriate. They were all in heavy jeans and sneakers, and the only beach-appropriate attire were their t-shirts and sunglasses.
Then it occurred to him that at least Junno should have known better, and he pointed accusingly despite the fact he really did need two hands to hold on. "Junno, why are you wearing the same ridiculous clothes we are if you knew all along that we were coming to a beach?"
Junno just grinned a wide, knowing grin and tugged one of the bags onto his lap. "This is why I was looking in your suitcases this morning. I have everyone's swimsuits, towels, and beach-going clothes in this bag, as well as appropriate footwear. There's a public change room in the middle of the beach; we'll get off the bus, go in to change, and then our traditional Australian Christmas celebrations can start."
---
"Did you know," Junno said loudly to the group as he led them across the wide road to the beach, "that up to forty thousand people come to Bondi beach on Christmas Day?"
"Forty thousand?" Nakamaru yelped from behind, though the yelp could have been from the woman who ran over his foot with a pram.
"There can't be forty thousand people here today, surely," Ueda said, adjusting his sunglasses and surveying the beach. It was busy, that was for sure, but it was before noon, and Kame had a sneaking suspicion that it would only get busier as the day wore on. And, from the look of the group of four drunken, half-naked girls stumbling across the street in front of them with streamers stuck to their backs and reindeer ears on their heads, he was pretty sure it was only going to get messier.
"I'd guess there's about twenty thousand," Koki said with an air of authority, nodding as though he could actually survey the beach and come up with an educated guess. He got a smack upside the head and a declaration of "idiot!" from Nakamaru for his trouble. "What? Think about it. If you squashed this beach into the size of Tokyo Dome, it would only be half-full."
Kame had to admit that it was a powerful argument, but it required more imagination than he had, so he just trusted that Koki was almost right (he was almost right about most things, up to and including the amount of hairspray he needed for any given event). Nakamaru still had a skeptical look on his face but didn't say anything, Ueda looked contemplatively around (Kame was pretty sure Ueda had more imaginative powers in his pinky than Kame had in his entire body), and Junno patted Koki on the back for his good use of reasoning.
Jin, however, was nowhere to be seen.
"Guys," he said, stopping abruptly now that they had made it across the road. "Where's Jin?"
"Eh? Akanishi's missing?" Nakamaru looked panicked, and Kame could practically read the list of worries ticking past Maru's eyes.
"He was just here a second ago, I saw him walking ahead of us," Junno said, his smile gone but he was calm and collected as he looked up and down the long boulevard.
"Don't worry about him," Koki said, flicking his sunglasses down from his eyes for a moment so that he could look around as well. "He's just like a lost puppy. Someone will return him to us soon enough. Besides, shouldn't his English be good enough to ask if anyone has seen a group of five extremely good-looking Japanese idols?"
"Apart from the fact that nobody here would know who we are even if they fell over us, and the fact you know Jin couldn't speak English well enough to save his life," Ueda said, apparently feeling the need to clarify Koki's insult when Jin wasn't even here to defend himself (though Kame had to admit he kind of agreed with them), before he stretched his arm out and pointed towards the beach, "he's over there chatting up the drunk girls."
Sure enough, there stood Jin with his best, most winning idol smile, one hand on his hip as he seemed to be talking easily enough to the girls with the reindeer ears and red, green and white streamers stuck to their backsides (all of whom were at least a foot taller than him, it had to be noted). One of them seemed to be propping herself up by holding onto his shoulders, but they were all giggling madly as though he was saying something very funny. Kame couldn't help but wonder if they weren't just laughing at Jin, and for a moment he felt sorry for his slightly deluded bandmate.
Then again, Jin was the one with four tall, gorgeous girls with impressively large breasts hanging on his every word. Pity probably wasn't necessary.
---
Nakamaru was the one who rescued Jin - and almost started a fist fight in the process - but eventually they were back together. The heat was overwhelming by this point, so Junno led everyone to the public change rooms (which were actually public toilets) and handed out clothes and shoes. After some argument about Junno's (lack of) fashion sense, it was finally time to find somewhere to dump their things and get started.
There was a lot of debate as to where they should set up their spot (with yet more threats of violence), but they eventually found themselves somewhere reasonable. They were stationed between a group of teenage girls (who seemed completely disinterested in them, even when Jin started stripping), a family picnic (an older family group, because Ueda was scared of small children), and a group of old men (not cuddly old men like their grandparents, but red-faced old men in unflattering Speedos). It wasn't ideal, but Junno mollified everyone by pulling out two bottles of wine (the subsequent monologue about the various famous wine regions of Australia was ignored, but Kame listened to the viticulture lesson in case it came in handy later).
They finished their first glasses of wine quickly, much to Junno's vocal dismay, and Kame thought that it was probably the stupidest idea to drink on a hot summer's day at the beach. He couldn't quite fathom how everyone else was doing it, while every inch of his body was heating up twice as fast as if he was just standing in the sun, and it was almost unbearable.
"Fuck it's hot," Jin said loudly behind Kame, causing him to jump and wonder exactly when Jin had started to read his mind. Kame turned around and glared intimidatingly at Jin, but because his sunglasses were obnoxiously large and dark (and only for that reason, of course), Jin ignored the glare and started taking his shirt off.
"I have sunscreen!" Junno said, probably in the hopes that Jin would stop taking his clothes off - but they all knew that Jin was not-so-secretly a nudist. Nothing could him when he started to strip.
"Sunscreen!" Maru pounced on the large pump-bottle of 30+ sunscreen before Junno could hand it to Jin. "Thank god! Even though the effects of the hole in the ozone layer are far less pronounced in Australia than Antarctica, I'm not taking any chances by sitting unprotected in the sun during the danger hours."
Everyone stared at Nakamaru for a moment as he removed his shirt and began slathering on a thick layer of sunscreen.
"Danger hours?" Koki asked, lowering his sunglasses to deliver the full effect of his skeptical look.
"Yeah, everyone knows that the worst times to be out in the sun is between 11AM and 3PM, because that's when the sun's UV levels are at their highest. You could get sunburned, which could lead to melanomas or skin cancer." Nakamaru was completely engrossed in his sunscreen application so he didn't really notice the way everyone was staring at him as though he was clinically insane.
Well, not everyone. "It's true," Ueda said after a moment, and then everyone's gazes were directed at him. "I read on a pamphlet at the hotel, there's a slogan here that says Slip, Slop, Slap." The English was especially foreign coming from Ueda's mouth, and Jin snorted but Kame elbowed him in the ribs before he could say anything.
"What does that mean?" Junno asked, eyeing Nakamaru as he put his shirt back on and began covering his legs in sunscreen.
"It sounds dirty," Jin snorted, but he was the only one who got it so nobody else laughed.
"It means slip on a shirt, slop on some sunscreen, and slap on a hat. To protect yourself from the sun, so that you don't get burned," Ueda explained, looking a little reticent now that he had stuck up for the crazy man covering his face in sunscreen like his life depended on it. "I think Maru's crazy, trust me, but he's not wrong. Junno, do we have an umbrella to sit under?"
The change of subject was warranted, and Kame was thankful for the suggestion, because he didn't really want to spend all day in full sun as they drank too much wine. They'd end up looking like they'd spent too long on a sun bed when they got back to Japan, and he was pretty sure they wouldn't live it down.
---
Eventually, Maru calmed down by bullying everyone into putting on sunscreen - even Jin, who had to be threatened with tickling his collarbones - and they put up two large rainbow umbrellas, which provided enough shade to completely cover their picnic blanket. Then, with their plastic wine glasses refilled, they settled on the blanket and realized they had absolutely no idea what they were meant to be doing now.
"Junno," Kame said after the silence had stretched out a little too long. "What's your plan for the rest of the day?" Maybe they were too used to having every minute of their lives scheduled, but from the way Junno had been acting, Kame was pretty sure there was a detailed plan. Or at least, one that involved something more than getting dressed for swimming and then sitting on the beach drinking wine.
"Oh!" Junno exclaimed, almost dropping his wine in the sand as he sprung to his knees. "Yes! Now it's time for lunch! Now, apart from the Aboriginies, the first people to live in Australia were the British, so they brought all of their traditions with them. Of course, the traditional British meal at Christmas was designed with the Northern Hemisphere winter in mind, but they found these practices impractical because of the weather, and -"
"Can we just eat, Guchi?" Koki pleaded, pressing his hands together beneath his chin so tightly Kame could see his fingers turning white.
"Yeah, Guch-chan," Jin teased, attempting a winning smile and following it up by pressing his fingers over the waist line of Junno's shorts. "Please let us eat."
Junno frowned and swatted Jin's hand away, sitting back on his knees and looking petulant for a moment as he finished the rest of his second glass of wine in a single gulp. For a second, Kame was convinced he was just going to mope for the rest of the day (Junno either moped or got hyper when he was drinking), but Junno's bright smile was back a moment later and he tugged the cooler through the sand towards him.
"Okay, since it's Australia and it's the beginning of summer and it's so hot outside, we've got lots of cold things," Junno explained, opening the cooler and pulling plastic plates and utensils out as he spoke. "The traditional roast turkey and hams that they have in the Northern Hemisphere have been turned into delicious sandwich fillings." He pulled out a platter full of cold turkey, ham, and other sandwich fillings and condiments, followed by two large loaves of Italian bread.
"Then, because Australia's population is largely coastal, there's always seafood at a Christmas gathering." The seafood platter that followed seemed smaller than the first, but it was piled with whole shrimp, lobsters, clams and baby octopus. "And because we're in Sydney, we also have to try some of their famous Sydney Rock Oysters." A shallow bowl of ice with oysters followed, and it was at about this point that Kame wondered how many people Junno proposed to feed.
"Finally, we have some salads - a Greek salad, a cold pasta salad, and some tabbouleh, which is traditionally a Middle Eastern dish but is popular here because of the immigrants." Junno pulled three bowls from the cooler and by this point even Jin, who had been eagerly ripping the plastic wrap from each platter, looked a little perplexed at the amount of food in front of them. "And then afterward, for dessert, we have some individual-size Pavlovas, which is a traditional Australian dessert made with fruit and meringue, as well as some cold Christmas pudding with ice cream."
"Jun-no-su-ke," Nakamaru said slowly, reaching in front of Ueda to press his fingers firmly to Junno's shoulder, "you are officially insane. I'm sorry, but when we get back to Japan I am making sure your parents enrol you in a mental health program." Ueda slapped Maru's hand away, but he was hiding a laugh behind the back of his hand.
"Seriously, Junno, this is enough food to feed at least twice as many people," Koki said, a laugh in his throat that he hid with another sip of wine.
Unfortunately, in this sort of situation, it was usually Junno who was the one to make a stupid yet placating statement, but nobody was forthcoming. Jin distracted himself by cutting the bread to make himself a sandwich, Koki and Ueda choked back further laughter, and Maru surveyed the food as though trying to think of something else to pick on. Before he could, though, Kame shifted to sit cross-legged on the blanket and reached across the spread to pat Junno reassuringly on the shin.
"It's okay," Kame said, smiling as warmly as he could as he moved back. "I'm starving, and this all looks really good. You obviously put a lot of effort into this -" he said this part pointedly at the others, "- so I'm sure we'll enjoy it. Besides, Christmas is the only time you can really be excessive and decadent. It would be worse to run out of food."
"No, it would be worse to run out of alcohol," Jin said, grinning up at everyone as he deftly broke the ice of Kame's slightly rehearsed-sounding words of reassurance. A laugh rippled around the circle, including Junno's, and whatever tension Kame had felt in the moment dissipated entirely.
"Then it's lucky that other bag I brought is almost entirely full of booze then, hey?"
---
A few bottles of wine later and everyone felt much better about the amount of food Junno had brought. They plowed through it as though it was the best thing they had ever eaten and praised Junno accordingly every time they took a bite, even though they found out that he had just gotten a poor AD to buy it that morning.
"It's the thought that counts," Maru said earnestly, chomping through a sandwich of his own creation which seemed to have everything on it.
"Wanna know what I'm thinking right now?"
Koki slid an arm around Jin's shoulders and grinned at him, smile bright and sarcastic. "No, Bakanishi, not really."
"I want to know what Tat-chan is thinking," Kame said, and it was only when he spoke that he realized he'd been staring at Ueda.
It didn't really matter that he was staring, he reasoned logically, because Ueda seemed to be asleep, but that didn't stop a faint blush from creeping up under his collar. (He blamed the wine for that. Or the sun. Something other than embarrassment.) In any case, it wasn't really his fault, either, because Ueda was the one who had curled up and put his head in Junno's lap ten minutes ago and seemed to drift off from the conversation. Since then, Junno had been sifting his fingers through Ueda's hair with what seemed to be the lightest touch and somehow, the picture was so many kinds of adorable that Kame figured he couldn't help but stare.
His reverie was slightly broken when Jin laughed a little too loudly. "He looks like he's thinking about sex." Jin snorted gracelessly at the end of his statement and Kame wondered how he ever put up with such an idiot. Besides, it wasn't even true.
"Shh," Junno tisked, slipping his fingers from Ueda's hair to cover his ear instead. "Uepi's asleep. Don't wake him."
"Maybe he passed out from heat exhaustion," Koki suggested helpfully, removing himself from Jin's side and reaching for a shrimp.
"Don't say that!" Maru exclaimed, reaching over and slapping Koki's arm for no apparent reason, knocking the shrimp out of his hand. "If he's passed out from heat exhaustion he might get a fever and start having a seizure!"
"I haven't passed out from heat exhaustion." Ueda's voice was quiet but steady, and the reproach Kame was going to deliver to Maru died in his throat. "I haven't actually been asleep this whole time."
Junno pulled his hand away from Ueda's face instantly and looked suitably embarrassed, his hand now hovering with nowhere to go until he rested it on the back of his neck and looked down at Ueda, who hadn't actually moved from his lap. Junno was saved from any teasing by Jin reaching over to pull Ueda's sunglasses up from his eyes and leaning in closer than was strictly necessary.
"Yes, but were you or were you not thinking about sex?"
For which Jin received a smack across the face, which was impressive considering Ueda was at the exact wrong angle to inflict any harm - or so Kame had figured until Ueda's open palm connected with Jin's cheek. The noise was impressive and sent Koki into a fit of giggles, which set off Maru (who had forgotten about the mortal peril), and by that point Kame couldn't quite help himself so he hid a laugh behind his hand as Jin sat back, rubbing his cheek.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Jin said in a stage whisper, flashing a grin and winking at Junno, who proceeded to turn even more red at the gesture.
"Jin, just because you think about sex all the time doesn't mean everyone else does," Kame retorted, feeling a little bad for Junno (it wasn't his fault that he was entirely transparent), but as Maru and Koki's laughter only increased he realized that he had probably made things worse.
"Kame," Ueda said calmly, taking this opportunity to remove himself from Junno's lap and straighten his sunglasses on his nose, "thank you for your valiant attempt at making the situation more comfortable, but you should know that lying never solves anything."
Kame had wanted the embarrassment to be taken away from Junno, but he hadn't wanted it piled on him instead. He frowned and consoled himself by taking the last oyster, holding it for a moment as he decided upon a retort.
"Well, I wouldn't be surprised if we were all thinking about sex right now. Isn't seafood meant to be an aphrodisiac in Western cultures?" Without really thinking it out, Kame punctuated his rhetorical question by eating the oyster. Which wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't used his tongue to test whether it was still attached and then managed to spill oyster juice, which trickled over his chin, down his neck, and beneath his shirt. But he did, and licked his fingers afterwards, and it took him that long to realize that nobody was laughing anymore and everyone was staring at him.
"What?" he asked defensively, oyster shell still in his hand. Nobody really answered, just sort of stared at him, and Kame couldn't help but feel like a deer caught in headlights. He just didn't know what was going to run him over.
"You know what?" Jin said loudly, breaking the ice and everyone's bizarrely intense concentration. "I wasn't actually thinking about sex before, but now I definitely am."
There was a split second of innocent bewilderment on Kame's part, but once he realized that he had probably (definitely) been undressed in the minds of at least one of the people staring at him, an indignant flame ignited inside of him and he tossed the oyster shell at Jin. Thankfully, it only hit Jin's shoulder, and his gesture was lost beneath a torrent of protests from everyone else in the circle (a little too loudly, Kame noted), including a very sneaky handful of sand that Koki managed to dump over Jin's bare back.
"Right, that's it!" Jin exclaimed, after what he would assure everyone if they asked was a very manly noise of surprise. "Everyone, we are going for a swim to cool off! Kame, you can clean up the leftover seafood while we frolick."
"What?" Kame shrieked (and he probably wouldn't bother saying it was manly, because it really wasn't), his face the very picture of a maligned soul. "First of all, why are you using words like 'frolick', and secondly, why don't I get to swim?"
"None of us are swimming!" Maru interjected, though neither Kame nor Jin could really fathom why he would fling himself into the middle of their argument. "We need to wait half an hour before we swim, or else we'll get cramps and drown."
Everyone rolled their eyes behind their sunglasses and Jin stood up purposefully. "Right," he said with such an air of authority even Kame didn't question it, "Yuichi, as punishment for worrying so much and being a hypochondriac, you get to throw out the leftover seafood - or eat it if you so choose - and look after our things. Then, after half an hour, I will continue with Kame's punishment for being illegally sexy while eating aphrodisiac foodstuffs and make him sit here while you come and join us in the water. Does this sound fair to everyone?" Nobody answered, but Jin wasn't really waiting for an answer. "Good, now let's go!"
---
Despite the fact that not a single one of them thought it was particularly fair, Jin mostly got his way. He had to dispose of the seafood himself, but seeing as not arguing meant he could retreat to the water quicker, he did it without complaint. Maru was happy sitting there waiting for his food to digest - though he demanded reports back on the water temperature and severity of the waves - and everyone else was happy to let him stay there as they ventured out towards the water.
"Now, I don't want to alarm you all, but I think it's safe to tell you now that Maru can't hear," Junno called from the back of the pack as they walked across the soft sand, dodging people's towels and possessions as they went. "Bondi has been known to see sharks. There are also stinging jellyfish in these waters, and we have to be careful of the blue-ringed octopus."
"What are you trying to do, discourage us completely from going in the water?" Koki asked, the annoyance in his voice only slightly tempered by a hint of fear.
"No, I just want you all to be aware of the dangers. Oh, and also! If you are caught in a rip tide - which is a very strong current that can appear at random in the ocean waters - don't try to fight it. Use the signal for danger like I showed you before and remain calm. Bondi has the oldest and most experienced Surf Lifesaving Club in Australia, so you will be well taken care of if anything happens."
"First the animals are going to kill us, now the water itself?" Kame asked, squinting over at Junno in the sunshine. He wasn't scared of the water or the wildlife, but he had to wonder whether Junno actually thought his tactics were inciting anything but fear.
"I'm not afraid of the big, bad ocean!" Jin yelled as they reached damp sand, loud and brash and obviously a little bit scared. Of course, that wasn't about to stop him, especially since he made the suggestion in the first place, and he flashed a grin around at everyone behind him. "Come on, wimps, catch me if you can!"
Jin ran straight for the water (nearly bowling over a small child in the process), Koki and Junno following along behind. Koki managed to catch up with Jin just as he was knee-deep in water and he jumped on Jin's back, sending them both sprawling forwards into a crashing wave. Junno followed suit (though the water was only up to the middle of his shins) and pulled Koki off Jin's back just in time for Jin not to drown. Jin, of course, emerged to see Junno standing there and Koki swimming off in the other direction, got the wrong idea and pushed the taller boy into the water, yelling obscenities at the top of his lungs.
"One day," Ueda said with a sigh as he and Kame arrived at the gently lapping waves at the water's edge, "those three are going to kill themselves playing around like that."
Ueda sounded serious, and most people probably would have been frightened and considered it some sort of supernatural sign that Ueda had been able to pick up on (even though he'd admitted to making up the fairies, most people were still convinced he had a clairvoyant side to him), but Kame knew that Ueda was just too good at dead-panning and laughed accordingly.
"Maybe themselves, but more likely each other," Kame replied, watching as Koki swam back towards the others (who had moved further out to dunk each other beneath the water) with both hands full of something clear and suspicious-looking.
"What's he got..." but before Ueda could even finish his question, Koki began throwing the clear, elastic things at Jin and Junno, who shrieked in a very undignified (but perfectly synchronized) manner and scattered in the water.
"What? Jellyfish! You bastard! They'd better not be poisonous!" Jin screamed as he dodged another few jellyfish to the face. However, Jin's retaliations were never solely verbal, and he powered through the water a moment later as Junno distracted Koki with a large splash of salt water to the face. As soon as Koki noticed him, he disappeared beneath the water and Kame, still watching from the water's edge with Ueda, couldn't help but worry for Koki more now that Jin was out of sight.
His fears were not unfounded, of course, and Koki let out an equally undignified scream, splashing around helplessly as Jin reappeared a few feet away, triumphantly holding Koki's swimming shorts in his fist. Kame wanted to hold in his laughter (there were strict rules against stealing each other's clothes, made over time after too many embarrassing moments), but Ueda started it, shoulders shaking at first, then his hand over his mouth, before he laughed openly and Kame was no match for Ueda's infectious laughter. Koki, on the other hand, didn't seem to find it that funny, and he moved fast but not quite fast enough for Jin, who kicked up his heels and splashed water in Koki's face as he swam back to shore.
"Hey guys, did you see that?" Jin called as he dragged himself out of the water, still clutching Koki's shorts, evil glint in his eye. "Koki's totally stuck in the water now." He shook the shorts around, splashing little droplets of water over Kame and Ueda's dry bodies as he approached them.
"Actually, I wouldn't speak so soon," Ueda said, smirk creeping at the corners of his mouth. Sure enough, when Kame looked back to the water, there was Koki, emerging from the ocean with one hand very strategically placed to stop himself being arrested for public nudity, other hand clenched in a fist, shaking it in Jin's direction.
"I'm going to kill you, you perverted son of a bitch!" Koki called, wading heavily through the water towards them. Jin didn't seem very scared, though; he'd collapsed to the sand in a fit of the giggles, clutching Koki's shorts to his face to muffle the sound. "I swear to god, Akanishi Jin, this is your last day on earth!" Though his language suggested otherwise, Koki didn't look that threatening without any clothes, and Kame could have sworn he saw Koki's lips twitch in a smile.
"Sorry for the trouble," he said politely to Kame and Ueda as he approached them, a small and sarcastic smile before he bent down to smack Jin hard across the back of the head. "What are you doing, trying to get us thrown out of the country Bakanishi?" A laugh cracked the anger in the words and Jin let out his own quick laugh before pulling himself to his feet.
"I'm so sorry, Tanaka-sama," Jin sputtered, trying not to laugh again as he bowed deeply and held out the sandy shorts with both hands. "Please forgive me this transgression, and punish me however you deem appropriate." Ueda had to hide his laughter behind his hand again but Kame couldn't help his own as he watched both Koki and Jin's faces collapse into grins.
"I shall consider your punishment, but for the moment you are forgiven," Koki said, not really being able to pull himself together to play the role of king, and snatched up the shorts. "Now, I shall return to the water. As you were, court jester." And as he retreated to the water, Kame couldn't help but reflect briefly on the phrase 'where the sun doesn't shine'.
Jin fell to his knees on the sand, ostensibly to bow so low his nose touched the ground but the laughter was unmistakable and Kame just kicked him. "You idiot, get off the ground." Jin didn't stand up, though, only fell flat against the sand, still laughing.
"Come on, Kame," Ueda said, having regained some of his composure, tugging on Kame's elbow. "Let's go in the water now that the dangerous, swimsuit-stealing beast has killed himself laughing."
---
They spent far longer in the water than any of them probably should have - even Kame, who had given in and switched places with Nakamaru so that the eldest could have his turn in the water - and they all felt a little water-logged by the time they were sitting back at their blanket.
"The trouble with the beach," Jin complained, scratching at his feet, hair dripping water down onto his slowly drying limbs, "is the sand."
"Bakanishi," Nakamaru scolded, still cleaning out his ears with his towel. "Sand is exactly one half of the experience of coming to the beach. If there was no sand, there would be no beach. In fact, by its very definition, the beach must have sand."
"That's not true," Ueda replied, shaking out his towel. "There are beaches in the UK that have pebbles instead of sand."
"That doesn't count as a beach!" Koki said, wrapping his towel around his head as though he'd just gotten out of the shower (or had enough hair to warrant towelling). "They're just pissed off that they don't have such beautiful beaches as Australia."
"I can't blame them," Junno said, rifling around in the cooler again. "It rains more than the sun shines there, so their beaches aren't of much use anyway. Australia must seem like an oasis these days rather than a penal colony."
"What's a penal -" Jin began, but Kame was quick enough to cover the idiot's mouth with his hand. As much as he had enjoyed Junno's expositions on Bondi beach and Australian viticulture, there was no way he was giving Junno a chance to give a lesson on Australian history.
"Australia seems like an oasis to everyone, doesn't it?" Kame said mildly, smiling as though it would actually stop everyone staring stragely at him. When he was convinced that nobody was taking the bait and Jin wasn't actually going to finish his question, he dropped his hands and changed the subject. "So, Jun-chan, what do you have for us there?"
It worked, and Kame let out his breath in relief as everyone turned to Junno to repeat the question. Junno grinned and looked excited all over again, forgetting entirely that he had been on the verge of answering a very interesting question about the birth of Australia, pulled out two platters with very small servings of dessert on them. "These, my dear friends, are traditional Australian desserts. Tuck in!"
Jin snorted at the other boy's English pronunciation, but everyone else just leaned forward to admire the desserts. "The first one is Christmas pudding, which is an English tradition that was brought to Australia from the very first Christmas here," Junno explained, gesturing grandly to each platter in turn. "The next is Pavlova, which is made with meringue and fruit - specifically, strawberries and kiwi fruits and apricots. Incidentally, kiwi fruits are native to Shaanxi province in China; however, the name comes from the distribution company in New Zealand which, in the 1950s -"
"Thank you for the biology lesson -" Jin started, tugging the plastic wrap off the pavlovas.
"I think you mean agriculture," Ueda interrupted, surveying the desserts.
"Horticulture," Nakamaru corrected them both, reaching for the Christmas pudding.
"Whatever, I just want to eat, Junno, so hand me a plate or I'm going to get meringue all over the blanket and you'll have to get your little AD to do the laundry at three in the morning so please?" Before Jin had actually stopped talking, there was a stack of smaller plastic plates in his hands, but that didn't stop him from finishing the sentence and stuffing the whole miniature pavlova in his mouth without pausing for breath.
Kame sort of stared for a moment - he knew Jin had a big mouth, but he didn't think he'd be able to fit a dessert the size of his palm in there all at once - before he picked up his own pavlova and took a bite. It was, within an instant of tasting it, probably the best dessert he'd had all year.
"Nonono," Kame entreated, his mouth full even as he spoke, waving at Maru and Ueda who were reaching for the Christmas pudding (and now, looking at him like he had grown an extra head), and pointed feverishly at the pavlova. "Screw the sour Christmas pudding, you've had those before. This is amazing, try it."
He wasn't drunk still, or touched by the heat, or anything like that, but there was something in the combination of fruit and meringue and cream that just made his head spin. He was pretty sure this was what girls meant when they talked about 'foodgasms'. So it made sense that he would lean over the platters and shove the half-eaten piece of pavlova in front of Nakamaru's face and insist "try it, try it," against Maru's protests until he gave in and took a bite of the dessert.
He was perhaps, he considered later, a little over-enuthusiastic about the pavlova, because even Junno was giving him a strange look by this point.
"What?" Kame asked innocently, now proffering the rest of the pavlova to Ueda and looking around at the others. "It's a really good dessert, that's all."
"You looked like you were on fucking Arashi no Shukudau-kun with that reaction, Kame," Koki replied, mouth half-full. "Like you're about to wet yourself because you... ate food."
"Hey!" Kame protesetd, though he knew that it was kind of true, and belatedly followed it up by punching Koki in the arm. "It's delicious, okay? It's important to have a good reaction."
"Yeah, that's what you said last night," Jin said, without skipping a beat even though his mouth was now mostly occupied with a piece of Christmas pudding.
Kame stared for a moment, open-mouthed now that he had finished his dessert, before delivering a matching punch to Jin's arm. It wasn't true, and everyone else shouldn't have been laughing so loudly, but there wasn't much he could do about it so he just pouted.
"Anyway," Junno said in his best mediator's voice, grinning around at everyone. "I hope that everyone has enjoyed themselves and the accompanying festivities. After dessert, I don't have any more plans. This is the Christmas present I wanted to give everyone, so feel free to do whatever you like and I'll pack everything up when everyone is ready."
It was a bit of a surprise when Ueda was the one to break the ice Taguchi had laid, nudging the other boy in the ribs and grinning over at him. "There's no need to be so formal, Tagu-chan," he said, laughter stuck in the back of his throat as he spoke - though he did mask it convincingly with a cough. "This was a great Christmas present."
---
The bus ride back wasn't quite as packed, for which Kame thanked every lucky star he had. They all managed to pile into the disabled seating section, variously carrying empty bags and umbrellas and damp clothes with them, but within a few stops of leaving the beach, Kame looked around at his beach-going companions and realized they had all dropped off asleep. Not that he could blame them, but he knew that one of them would have to stay awake to make sure they didn't miss their final stop, so he resolved to stay awake and steeled himself against the exhaustion that had spread through his body as soon as he'd sat down.
As he looked around at his bandmates and colleagues, he couldn't help but think of how thankful he was for each one of them. Christmas might have been the time for thinking of family, but surely friends deserved as big a part of his heart. They hadn't always been friends, and as Kame's tired mind passed over the day they'd just spent together, he realized how far they had come. He'd always been friends with Jin (why, sometimes, he really did not know), but he'd had to get used to the rest - and they to him - and he couldn't suppress a grin as the weight of their friendship hit him.
Maybe it was a stupid thing to realize, because they'd been working together for so long, but Kame had never thought of their friendship as unconditional. Today, though, despite the teasing and embarrassment moments, he could look around at the people he'd spent the day with and think they were the best people he could have spent Christmas Day with.
Later, he'd wake them with hugs and kisses and embarrassingly loud exclamations of 'Merry Christmas' (and blame it on the wine he was sure had already left his system), but for now he was more than content to lean on the soft, sleeping body beside him (a loudly snoring Koki) and feel the warmth of Christmas cheer spread through him.