Chapter Text
chatroom: it's ya boy skinny penis
hoseok: so i went to get that game you’ve been telling me to pick up
hoseok: but i looked in three stores and couldn’t find it anywhere
hoseok: i’m sorry minhyuk :(
minhyuk: you don’t have to be sorry
minhyuk: because you did your best
jooheon: tell me why that made me cry
hoseok: stop lol everything makes me cry lately
hoseok: like yesterday someone held the door for me and i almost lost it
hoseok: idk i guess i’ve just been lonely and sad
minhyuk: but you’ve been with all of us :(
hoseok: i know :(
hoseok: i didn’t say it made sense
minhyuk: no that’s okay
minhyuk: do you need some snuggle time
hoseok: that’d be nice
kihyun: this is very cute but why can’t you just cuddle hyungwon
hoseok: i do but it’s just like
hoseok: different idk
hoseok: and minhyuk is skinny too
hoseok: but hyungwon kind of feels like lying with a bag of remotes
hyungwon: no i get it
hyungwon: minhyuk is an affection god i’ve never met someone who loves love so much
minhyuk: friendship is magic
hyungwon: did you just take that from my little pony
minhyuk: and here you are, recognizing the line
hyungwon: fair enough
minhyuk: so are we on for Cuddle Night
hoseok: hell yeah man
jooheon: can i come
jooheon: i’m feeling pretty lonely and gay on this cold friday night
minhyuk: WHAT IS THIS
minhyuk: you always reject my snuggle attempts
minhyuk: look who’s crawling back now
jooheon: THAT’S BECAUSE YOU DO IT AT BAD TIMES
jooheon: LIKE WHEN I’M TRYING TO WRITE AN 15 PAGE ESSAY FOR HALF MY SOCIOLOGY GRADE
minhyuk: doesn’t snuggling help you focus? ??
jooheon: NO?? HOW it’s another person’s body clinging to yours
minhyuk: that’s fucked up i get some of my best thinking done while in a cage of limbs
changkyun: oh my god you guys
changkyun: i think i’m gonna file for bankruptcy i just spent so much fucking money at lush
hyungwon: were the bubble bars fucking worth it changkyun
hyungwon: were they
changkyun: I’M TEXTING FROM INSIDE A BUBBLE BATH RIGHT NOW AND I MEAN
changkyun: YES??
hyunwoo: i mean i guess this is a good way to go out
hyunwoo: enjoy that bubble bath
hyunwoo: because you’re gonna be eating ramyeon for the next two years
hoseok: OOH
hyungwon: HOSEOK NO
hoseok: :((
minhyuk: let the boy EAT
kihyun: no minhyuk i know like my inner grandma is saying that too
kihyun: but i went to his apartment like last week
kihyun: and i had to throw away a wrapper so i saw the trash
kihyun: and all that’s in it is ramyeon wrappers
kihyun: also i saw empty soju bottles in the corner
kihyun: honestly hoseok get it together
hoseok: you’re only young once
jooheon: i’m calling it now he’s still going to use this same excuse when he’s 30
hyunwoo: ok watch it
hyunwoo: that’s not even old
jooheon: when you’re 30 you’ve lived a 15 year old’s life twice
changkyun: that’s fucked up
hyunwoo: wow
hoseok: you didn’t have to say all that
kihyun: why are you all acting like this is so mind blowing like can you guys do basic math
kihyun: like yeah 2 x 15 is 30 this isn’t new information
minhyuk: this is why i don’t invite kihyun over for conspiracy thursdays
kihyun: what are conspiracy thursdays
minhyuk: you’d KNOW if you weren’t such a killjoy
kihyun: wow
hyungwon: every thursday minhyuk makes a playlist of youtube documentaries about conspiracies or unexplained phenomena
hyungwon: and we watch them
kihyun: but minhyuk doesn’t even believe in ghosts
minhyuk: BUT I’M WILLING TO HEAR PEOPLE OUT KIHYUN
minhyuk: I’M WILLING TO GIVE THINGS A CHANCE
kihyun: that’s rich coming from a scorpio
minhyuk: that’s rich coming from someone who escaped scorpioism by a single day
minhyuk: you’re on thin ice bitch
hyunwoo: can we stop fighting over astronomy please
minhyuk: OH MY GOD
jooheon: HYUNG
changkyun: this is like that time i said i was going to bed bath and body works
hyunwoo: i don’t see the problem with what you just said
jooheon: ALSFKJASF
minhyuk: don’t make fun of the elderly jooheon
hyunwoo: ??
changkyun: they’re two different stores
changkyun: like
changkyun: bed, bath, and beyond
changkyun: and then bath and body works
hyunwoo: that’s not true
changkyun: it is
hyungwon: that’s the most fucked up thing i’ve ever heard
jooheon: and it’s ASTROLOGY hyung
jooheon: astronomy is different like you can’t take a class about astrology in college
minhyuk: which is something i am trying to change
kihyun: what he means is that he asked the dean if he could add that class to the curriculum
kihyun: and then when the dean said no
kihyun: he said “that was such a gemini moon thing to say”
kihyun: and then stormed out
minhyuk: i kinda felt bad after
minhyuk: i was in a bad mood because i was hungry
hyunwoo: relatable
kihyun: yeah hyung you’re like the definition of hangry
kihyun: you’re not that scary you’re just really strong
kihyun: but like your anger itself isn’t that intimidating
hyungwon: i just remembered that time hyunwoo threw me across the room
hyungwon: and then i remembered that happened more than once
hyunwoo: it’s like
hyunwoo: i should know by now that you fly whenever i do that
hyunwoo: but for some reason it just hasn’t clicked yet
hyunwoo: so i do it and then suddenly you’re like on the floor in a different dimension
hyunwoo: and i’m like oh yeah
hoseok: it was fine before but like i’m dating him now
hoseok: so like you break it you buy it
hyungwon: why was it fine before
hyunwoo: how much does hyungwon cost
hyungwon: don’t answer that
hyungwon: hoseok stop typing
hoseok: fine
changkyun: i’m out of my lovely bath and now my regret is fully sinking in
hyungwon: just like the chemicals from those bath bombs
kihyun: i’d feel bad for you but this was entirely avoidable and also
kihyun: as a college student i don’t know why you’d even let yourself indulge in luxury bath items
kihyun: yesterday i had to dig change out of my carseats to buy a cucumber
minhyuk: DISGUSTING
kihyun: oh fuck off we get it you hate cucumber
hyunwoo: i had to do that once to get a big mac
hyunwoo: it was really embarrassing
hyunwoo: purchasing a big mac at 4 am was bad enough
hyunwoo: but then having to look for the change just made it so much worse
hyungwon: if someone came through the drive thru doing that i’d just fucking let them have it
hyungwon: like jesus christ
minhyuk: i would too but i’d throw the big mac at them
minhyuk: like in a wrapper but not in a bag
minhyuk: because i think the memory of being slapped by a burger would just really get through to them
hoseok: now i feel bad about myself
minhyuk: omg no why
hoseok: because i cried in a taco bell parking lot at 1 am like last week
hoseok: while eating a quesadilla
hyungwon: hey quick question
hyungwon: what the fuck why didn’t you tell me
hoseok: IT’S NOT SOMETHING YOU WANNA TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT
hoseok: hey guys i’m crying my eyes out into a tortilla what are you guys up to
minhyuk: no don’t feel bad i mean it happens
minhyuk: sometimes cheese and chicken comforts you in a way no human can
hyungwon: why were you crying :(
kihyun: yeah wtf what happened
hoseok: idk just life
changkyun: :(( do you want to borrow a bath bomb
jooheon: BORROW??
changkyun: dammit
hoseok: aw thanks changkyun but i’m okay
hoseok: you’re broke now so you might as well enjoy your last purchase
jooheon: NURSE
changkyun: i’ve been shot
changkyun: i hate that i chose to get stuff from lush and not like food or something
changkyun: because with food you just eat it and it’s gone but like
changkyun: i’m literally staring at a pile of my own bad decisions
hyungwon: that’s how i feel when i stare at the homework i have in my classes for my major
jooheon: you feel that way because you’re staring at it and not doing it
hyungwon: wow
jooheon: stop i’m allowed to say that because i don’t do my homework on time either
hyungwon: oh
minhyuk: anyways losers snuggle night is upon us and hoseok and i are getting boba
minhyuk: if you wanna come you can but snuggles are first come first serve
hoseok: however a great woman once said
hoseok: we don’t run out of love we can always make more when we need it
jooheon: wow who said that
hoseok: the mom from twitches i rewatched it last week it’s still just as good now
jooheon: you watched it without me?
minhyuk: JOOHEON
minhyuk: are you coming??
jooheon: i’m on my way to the boba place this instant my uber driver is a fucking baller
jooheon: he just turned on what i assume is his mixtape and started rapping along to it
jooheon: wait he’s telling me his soundcloud
minhyuk: are you networking in an uber
hoseok: while on your way to meet up with us so we can eventually get in a cuddle pile
hoseok: also can we watch sharkboy and lavagirl
jooheon: this is the college experience
jooheon: OH FUCK YEAH
kihyun: millenials are killing the networking industry