Work Text:
Even though he was supposedly the last man on Earth. Adam was having a wonderful time discussing cardboard boxes and their usefulness against zombie invaders. "Yes, they would! Look, if you took cardboard boxes and made stacks and piles of them outside your house, the zombies would take forever to get through, and you could kill 'em from the safety of your own home while they are stuck out there!" Adam had worked in a cardboard box factory before his current position, Carl should know that he was the expert on cardboard boxes.
"No, no, and no. The zombies would just push them out of the way. The boxes only weigh what, a pound, if that? They would never hold up."
"Yes they would. If boxes are able to withstand forty pounds of pressure on it, it can withstand some zombies."
"Okay, point. But what kind of zombies are we talking about, 'Dawn of the Dead' zombies or New Age zombies? New Age Zombies can run. Dawn zombies just kind of lumber in your direction and hope they can catch you."
"True. Cardboard boxes couldn't withstand New Age zombies, but if they're Dawn of the Dead type zombies, then the boxes should hold up fine. Okay?"
"Okay, but are Zombies the undead, or the living dead?"
"Infected hosts."
"How are zombies infected hosts."
"Because, if the zombification starts with a virus, then it is just a virus infecting people through the saliva of the person it already infected. Even if it is because of a lab experiment gone wrong, it had to be a mutation of something. If it was a mutation of a gene then it couldn't be spread by biting, only by reproduction. The only other option is a mutation of a virus or bacteria. Therefore the 'Zombie Virus' only infects its host, it doesn't kill them nor does it make them immortal." After a second of thought Adam added, "Well, totally immortal."
"Yes, but, they could be created by radiation experiments in a graveyard."
"Why would anyone do a radiation experiment in a graveyard?"
"Insanity." Carl said like the answer was perfectly clear and rational. At that moment the steel door that was Carl was opened.
"Hello Adam, how are we today?" Dr. Quin said. She was a somewhat nerdy looking blonde, nerdy in a totally really cute way though, not an awkward way.
"Are zombies the living dead, the undead, or are they just infected hosts?"
"Infected hosts. Unless they are created in some kind of radiation experiment held in a graveyard." This was why he liked Dr. Quin, she loved zombies. "Vampires are the living dead, they aren't dead, but they aren't really alive either. Zombies are just like people with really, really, bad colds. That want to eat peoples brains." Adam just 'hmm'ed at her response. Maybe Carl was right.
"Who holds radiation experiments in a graveyard?"