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The fact of the matter is this: Seonho loves Minhyun, but Minhyun will never love him back.
Seonho knows this. He knows , but it still doesn't make heartbreak hurt any less, doesn't stop the tightening around his heart when he's reminded, once again, that he'll never mean as much to Minhyun as Minhyun does to him.
Their relationship wasn't special to begin with - Seonho latches onto people he can rely on, and Minhyun's guidance and comforting words made him out to be one of his favorite people in Produce. It never went any further than that, and Seonho berates himself for hoping it could ever end up otherwise. He's no different than some vaguely familiar kid to Minhyun, not even close enough to joke about being brothers.
It stings, and Seonho hates it.
Wishes he could just take his emotions and ignore them, push them deep down inside him and far away from anywhere that could affect how him. But he's always worn his emotions on his sleeve, and it's nearly impossible for him to stop now.
Seonho aches, and Minhyun doesn't notice.
(They're not close enough for him to know when something's wrong.)
So Seonho puts on a mask. Stays silent, quieting down and only speaking when someone makes a joke. Laughs along with everyone else and pretending that everything's fine.
(It isn't.)
Minhyun doesn't bat an eye when Seonho doesn't initiate as much contact as usual, doesn't ask any questions when Seonho makes fewer efforts to spend time with him.
Maybe he was waiting for this?
It's not impossible.
If anyone asks him about it, Seonho laughs it off and says that he's trying to show more love to everyone else, pretending that his heart doesn't ache and his fingers don't shake as he forces out another laugh and ignores how hollow it sounds, even to his own ears.
You can only beat the game of love with a mask.
So Seonho continues on, acting and faking his way past his emotions, wearing a mask as he distances himself from Minhyun and everything that reminds him of the older until he's able to ignore the way he feels cold and alone whenever he sees Minhyun with someone else.
You don't have the right, he reminds himself. You mean no more to Minhyun than anyone else.
It doesn't always work. Sometimes Seonho's still stuck with the crushing feeling of the world weighing down on him, the public's expectations too much for him to bear on his own, and no one to share the burden with. It's hard, and it's lonely, and Seonho doesn't know if he can make it out alive.
He would turn to Minhyun before, but he knows better now. He's got problems of his own, and Seonho's presence has never done anything good for Minhyun.
He stays away, prays his mask stays in place, and hopes it's worth it.
(Hopes Minhyun can succeed without Seonho weighing him down. Hope he doesn't drag him down, even now.)
He does.
(Seonho wishes he could feel happy for him.)