Work Text:
reception
Jimin (29, singer):
I was gonna skip out on the introductions since this is a smaller, private wedding and I know everyone here, but judging by the way Namjoon-hyung’s looking at me right now, old habits die hard, I guess. Good evening, everyone! I’m Park Jimin of Bangtan Sonyeondan, Kim Taehyung’s number one friend, fellow ninety-five liner extraordinaire, and Jeon Jeongguk’s fellow Busan bro. Just so you all know, I was born in Busan first. Nah, I’m kidding, I love that guy. Y’know, the first time I saw him all those years ago in this gigantic red hoodie, too much baggage, not an ounce of city about him, he was staring at Taehyung from across our tiny dorm living room when I entered that door, this timid, shy look washed all over his face like he didn’t want to be caught and yet, can you believe he only noticed my entrance after Taehyung noticed me? Heavy steps and all, nothing subtle about it, carrying my own damn baggage. I thought, is this what young love looks like?
Young love, I say. What the fuck does that even mean? Is there some universal age for what's considered ‘real’ love? Alternatively is it called ‘old love’ when you make it to eighty? How does time and longevity play into it all, or is ‘old love’ just a euphemism for love that’s grown stale? It’s a little unfair, don’t you think, to give love a standard to reach and should it fall short, it’s nothing more than a phase or a slap on the wrist, as if young love is a love so earnest it couldn’t ever last to adulthood because no way, right? That’s too good to be true, so why not put a negative connotation behind it, set our pompoms by our feet, and instead root for all the loves that never even started before they ended—right? Sounds kinda fucked, all that false hope and wasted potential, but I grew up watching Taehyung and Jeongguk’s love get dismissed left and right, like the favorite t-shirt we all once had, thrown around until you got tired of it and bought a new one with the snazzier print.
No one took them seriously, so neither did they, for awhile. Convinced that it was 'teenage' curiosity, that something was wrong with them when it was the one thing they felt certain about. The sad thing is that that’s what happens when the world looks at you like you’re doing everything wrong: you start to believe it. As if there’s a formula to follow. And sure, maybe when I thought those words all those years ago, I meant ‘temporary’, too, thinking it would never turn into anything more. Yet through it all, I saw these two fight until their hearts threatened to bleed dry and overcome things that would single-handedly tear others apart, words and judgment that should’ve brought them down that only made them stronger, together. So fuck it, there is no formula to follow because we all ask the same questions differently. What it all boils down to is that love is full of questions until you find someone that is your answer to all of them, and the only thing I know for sure is that they are each other’s.
And god, seeing you both, sitting side by side and holding hands, I can say I’ve waited for this day to come for a long, long time.
For most of us here, this was no surprise, let me tell you, seeing that unconditional love you have for each other blossom into what our Hwayangyeonhwa days preached—y’know, that one concept that only lasted like, our entire fucking careers? ‘The most beautiful moment of our lives,’ remember? I used to pinpoint that message to specifics, winning our first daesang or Epilogue, better dinners, bigger beds, safer money. Namjoon-hyung once explained it as ‘youth’, and I believed that for a bit, too, even if it was scripted storytelling, very literal stuff that I never really gave thought to. All I knew was that my youth was far from beautiful, full of the ugliest, most insecure parts of me that I grew to overcome just as I grew out of my youth. Which, ruled that meaning out, so I never stopped pondering it because I never really understood it, not until years later with a pack of beer in hand at Taehyung’s door, seeing this shiny engagement ring on his bony finger and realizing that the most beautiful moment of our lives was never just one moment, but the times where we can think back on the ugliest moment of our lives without breaking and remember just why we’re still here. Those moments of realization where we just think, this isn’t so bad. Not really survival, just—purposeful, like finding our reasons in times where we’ve lost that purpose. That, to me, has never been exclusive to times of happiness. And I know, we're all sick of that concept, so I won't repeat it, but this right here is it. It isn’t just happiness or beauty, it’s—it’s finally. Fucking finally.
Yeah, I told myself I wouldn’t cry, but I'm just so proud to say I lived the day to see this, you two without the shackles of the public eye trapping you behind closed doors or beneath tables just to hold each other all those times you needed it most. Going hours at a time and pretending to be nothing but bandmates for the cameras when all you wanted was to glance over at each other and smile. Just smile. I want to feel like the sad parents who have to hand you over, say things like you'll always be my baby, or you’re all grown up, but is it strange that this all feels familiar, like nothing has changed?
Answering that question now, it's because nothing has. Sure, today you guys got officially married, but it's always been more than the titles anyway—we’ve always known that, too.
Yoongi (31, producer):
Alright, alright. Enough with the clapping, Hoseok. Jesus, sit down. You guys know I hate doing shit like this, but hey, I never half-ass it, either. Remember all those Bon Voyage specials we used to do? Like, you remember those? With the segments of us spewing our hearts out because the PD liked it when we cried on camera? Being the saps that we were, we always ended up taking it seriously until we really did cry, all those emotions we used to bottle up, too shy to ever admit them in the present, just overflowing right over the edge. And damn, did we cry hard whenever it got to that point, convincing ourselves that quiet understanding was enough without realizing we had a million words that needed to be said for the relief. I can’t remember a single time when we cried where it didn’t look painful, so obviously sensitive and vulnerable to any ounce of sentimentality that our entire bodies shook with the force of the confrontation. That time Jeongguk balled his eyes out admitting he felt helpless watching us struggle and the wave of contagion that hit the rest of us like dominoes; the time we surprised Hoseok on his birthday with a video message from his family, completely innocent with intention but ending with bittersweet nostalgia; the time Taehyung cried on the cruise ship over his letter to Jimin. The raw emotion from all those times was scary because it showed just how close we always were to breaking. And it was during those years that I worried over Taehyung and Jeongguk the most, what would become of them as friends or as lovers when they were already so clumsy, weak in the knees and weaker in the hearts, these beating things that were patched up nicely without the loose ends of old bandages from past heartbreak.
Seeing them struggle day in and day out, trying to understand their love for each other while trying to understand themselves, I had my share of doubts. It didn’t help that those two were the worst at opening up, kept to themselves about all their shit and pretended like everything was okay when their smiles couldn’t reach their eyes, even worse when the source of their troubles and worries were each other because they’d clam right up for weeks at a time. Don’t get me wrong, they got along just fine, had no problems with touching and sharing the bed under a single blanket and pillow, the idea of exchanged body heat familiar like the back of their hands. It was the communication that they struggled with, and god, they struggled, sometimes their pride getting in the way, sometimes just the simple fact that they didn’t have the honest kind of friendship Jimin and Taehyung had. If you don't already know, these two are naturally competitive, and that made for the perfect recipe for disaster whenever they argued.
It’s because of those earlier years that I never took them seriously.
But then I remember this one time, during our photoshoot in Dubai, sitting on top of that car with sand up my ass but grinning through the discomfort because of the setting sun before us, magnificent and salmon. We stood there watching it for an hour or two, partly for the shoot but also for leisure, the last set of pictures for the day. And then the photographer called finished and lowered his camera, but none of us moved right away like we usually did when shoots or filming were done—fucking hooligans without any subtly. Sitting still in this comfortable ambiance, we watched and watched until we could barely see the sun past all that sand along the horizon, and I remember turning to look behind me and saw you two. Right there before us was this breathtaking, surreal thing, and yet you were looking at each other, standing inches apart in this moment where nothing else existed. I remember seeing Taehyung’s hand in Jeongguk’s hair, Jeongguk's arm around Taehyung's waist, the both of them lost in their own private world, watching their own sunsets that the rest of us couldn’t see. It felt like I was intruding on something that I shouldn’t have seen, and I think it was then that I realized just how good they were for each other.
We always expect love to be this perfect and happy ideal, something that’s supposed to save you, and the second it’s tainted with flaws is the second you get nothing but a dirtied rag that needs to be thrown out. But you see, love is already an ugly, frightful thing that breaks you apart so it can put you back together, not nearly as pretty as you were before but stronger and more durable the next time you take a hammer to the heart. To expect perfection from an imperfect thing is to expect sacrifices even you can’t make. You can’t simply fit love in a box with a shiny bow on top because it isn’t the sound of wind chimes in the summer breeze or pretty flowers tucked behind an ear, it’s sunlight after the storm when the sun shines brightest, the flower shaped bruise on your knee after the pain of falling. Those nasty, gritty parts turn the good into diamonds because hearts are greedy, overflowing things that never shut up, and it’s in the darkest corners of our mind where we are most true.
And yeah, I know, you’re probably thinking, what does Yoongi know? He’s married to his work. So sure, that may be true, but I never had to experience a special someone to understand because I grew up witnessing a love so honest it made me a believer. Because with my very own eyes, I watched this love strengthen and grow into something that was always inherently you two—messy but real. That if all else were to ever fail, they’d at least have each other as the reminder that they'd succeeded something beautiful.
Namjoon (30, producer):
Let me start this off by saying this: it wasn't entirely my fault for knocking over that candle and burning away half the tablecloth, Jimin pushed me, I swear.
And now that that's out of the way, thank you to everyone who made it out here tonight to celebrate Taehyung and Jeongguk's special day. Since the very beginning, we've always had such an incredible team supporting us along the way, aiding us not only in our success as musicians but also in our growth from naive kids to adults, and I'm so grateful to see all those faces here, sharing this moment with the five of us like old times. But tonight I stand here not as Bangtan's leader, but as one of your five older brothers, not related by blood, but by bond immeasurable by words alone. We may be grown men now, but all I see before me are the two maknaes I spent countless nights scolding to get to bed for early morning schedules, the two idiots that used to play games together up until the last minutes before our stages and nearly made the rest of us late, the two brats that would never stop whispering during our company conferences and never quite understood new concepts until later, but most importantly—
The two that always found their way back to each other time and time again no matter how long the trek, no matter how dark the path.
I read a book recently, “Never Let Me Go” by Kazuo Ishiguro. There’s a line in it that goes, “Because maybe, in a way, we didn't leave it behind nearly as much as we might once have thought. Because somewhere underneath, a part of us stayed like that: fearful of the world around us, and no matter how much we despised ourselves for it—unable quite to let each other go.” Something like that. I remember reading that and setting my book down, suddenly struck hard by the nostalgia of my younger years where I watched Taehyung and Jeongguk struggle through each day with new battles to fight, harder demons to face, and greater wars to conquer with nothing but a shield to defend. And it wasn’t because they were brave, fake-tough and ready to take on the weight of the world like a bunch of optimistic, try-hard motivators that carry around self-love pamphlets by the briefcase. No, none of that, but when you’ve got something to lose, you’ve got something to fight for.
There were times where they gave up, weeks and months that stretched on in heavy silence with nothing but work schedules to forcefully bring them together. It was during those times that laughter sounded most painful, but it was because of those times, ones where you're at our lowest, that you realize the weight of letting go of something you never stopped reaching for. And left with nothing but the ghost of its warmth on the palm of their hands, they filled that void with the strength of their fists, sharpened their teeth, polished their claws, and helped each other back on their feet to fight the new day. No braver than the day before, but stronger.
On Jeongguk’s twenty-first birthday, Taehyung posted two black and white photos of him from his film camera. Both taken in Okinawa, the first was of Jeongguk with the view of the Zanpa Beach stretched behind him. Clouds in the sky, looking sideways towards the camera with this neutral expression on his face. Placid. The second picture was taken from the balcony, two rooms down, of Jeongguk staring towards the horizon shirtless. Body of water engulfing most of the frame in that one. I was in my studio when I saw these pictures on Twitter, and even if it was obvious that Taehyung wasn't in those pictures himself, no direct contact or outright acts of love shown to give them away, I panicked seeing them for the first time. Heart lodged in my throat, it wasn’t until seconds later that I realized what it was that got me all worried. It was that those pictures were the closest portrayal we’d ever see of Jeongguk through Taehyung’s eyes, and I remember thinking, so this is what he sees when he looks at Jeongguk. Something so tender and intimate that even I worried the world would find out with just one look, but to those who knew about Taehyung and Jeongguk, it was evidence enough.
They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but in those pictures of Jeongguk, I only saw three.
Hoseok (30, choreographer):
Good evening ladies and gentlemen! If you’re wondering who that is, it’s Yoongi-hyung booing me off the stage. But ignore him, he does that. The old fucker.
So. Weddings huh? Man, we used to joke that Seokjin would be the first to get hitched without even realizing that it’s always been you two from the beginning, all of us too young to even know what love was when it was right in front of us the whole time. Still don’t, but you guys have the kind that gives hope—no pun intended. And for as long as I can remember, you two never struck me as the annoying PDA couple that made everyone around them feel uncomfortable. As if the third wheel was the rest of the world that looked away before every touch, feeling some misplaced obligation to politeness in the spaces even beyond your privacy. Quite the opposite actually, feeding us relief in the tangle of your hands and satisfaction with every intentional shoulder bump because at least then, we’re gently shaken with the reminder that a good thing can last. And maybe I’m being a little shitty and biased, but for years that was a rarity for you, the open affection beyond mere friendship, wary of a world that never stopped watching through the lens of a camera just waiting for you to slip.
But still you were an open book, welcoming anyone looking close enough into the ink-stained pages of the story you built, whether you realized it or not, because a love that pure doesn’t hide between the lines.
Y’know, I didn't know these two when they were in diapers or anything, but it sure as hell feels like it. A big part of that ties back to the fact that we all joined the industry as kids and raised each other like our own little family of guys. Being a part of the hyung line, naturally I felt that responsibility to look out for the younger ones as an older brother with enough space in-between to respect each other’s individual growth—not as the friend disguised as the older brother but rather, the older brother disguised as the friend. That's what I strove for, so seeing the potential of your guy's relationship grow into something we couldn't control, I worried for what would become of us if whatever you guys had would eventually spoil instead of blossom. Lost for what to make of it, I asked my sister, how can you tell when two people are really in love? She told me, you can't, but a real love is one that survives, which means you’ll never really know until it’s taken its fall.
And then I started noticing things that I never really did before, the way Taehyung fussed over Jeongguk’s sweater during our Young Forever jacket photoshoot to make sure he was warm, passed out and head lulling every which way without an ounce of awareness that Taehyung had saved him from a cold. Or, Jeongguk eating the rice off Taehyung’s spoon during some chicken commercial filming because he can't handle spicy foods, the action itself one of second nature from a kind that's spent years quietly looking out for him. And even the countless times Taehyung spoke up for Jeongguk when he had something to say, too shy to interrupt but too sweet to ever raise his voice above ours. In seeing that, it made me realize that all my doubts had stemmed from the fear that I’d failed my responsibility as your hyung to protect you because I didn’t know what to do.
But all this time, you took care of each in ways that I couldn’t, and there was no greater comfort than knowing you both were in the same safe hands that kept you warm when it felt like the world had turned a cold shoulder.
The biggest eye-opener was the year you both fell apart into something so crushing even we could feel the heartbreak. Days that stretched to months without even a single acknowledgement, when Taehyung would spent most, if not all, of his free time with other friends that even Jimin started to miss him. And Jeongguk, who rarely spent time outside his room, churning out cover song after cover song until even Yoongi-hyung had to scold him for wearing out his voice on nights before schedules. But then one day, in the middle of a performance with sweat in my eyes and firework smoke on my tongue, you two looked across the stage and found each other, pausing when your eyes met. Sucked into this moment with you both, just watching you watch each other, the sounds of cheering drowned out into silence, the music in my ear fading into white noise, and Taehyung and Jeongguk smiling with what seemed like the first breath of fresh air after rising above dark water.
Thinking back on my sister’s words, I knew right then that like vines growing towards the sun, their love was meant for the skies.
Seokjin (32, actor):
I was gonna keep this a secret, but I figured you’d find out one way or another, so. I tasted the icing of the wedding cake earlier when no one was looking, and I'm not sorry. But are we really surprised? I guess call this payback for not inviting me to the tasting.
Anyway, god, has this day finally come? Taehyung in dress shoes for a full day without trading them in for sandals halfway through? Jeongguk in a tux and not sweating his ass off? God. It feels like just yesterday that we were in our very first dorm with the eggshell walls, just seven smelly dudes huddled over one pot of ramyun because we couldn’t afford anything else. Jeongguk the size of my thumb, eyes bigger than the moon with a face that hadn’t grown into his nose, and Taehyung, just as small as Jeongguk with these big ears and big mouth that swallowed his scrawny little body. Two awkward looking kids that had an enormous future ahead of them full of revelations and discoveries and answers they hadn’t even started asking the questions for.
As the two maknaes of the group, we held their hands through the years, watched them grow taller and wider, tops of their heads starting from our chins to our eyes and for some of us, past our heads even up on our tiptoes. We watched their innocence mature and their faces harden, two boys that used to come running to their hyungs with tears in their eyes that grew into boys who steeled their expressions and pretended to be okay, sobbed quietly in the privacy of their own bedrooms and hid their bloated faces the mornings after. Boys that sought to resolve their own problems, rarely confiding in others until after they’d reached their limits. But the thing is that these two have always understood each other in ways the rest of us couldn’t, connected by the same wavelengths that made me realize they were meant to find each other the same way the sun chases the moon with every sunrise. And when someone stumbles into your life knowing exactly what you’re feeling by the shape of your lips or the color in your complexion like Taehyung and Jeongguk, you’ve found yourself good company along a road that used to look so endless.
As everyone else mentioned, this is a new chapter with a new life where you’re married and settled down, taking your first steps in a direction where we’re no longer beside you, but behind you. You're not awkward kids with small shoulders and big city dreams anymore because you’ve achieved them all with heads steered straight, chests puffed out, broad shoulders back—never as broad as mine, but not too bad, either. We’ve been through hell and back together, the seven of us, but those hands that used to come together in one mighty cheer are now focused on two. Taehyung, don't forget that Jeongguk forgets how to breathe properly when he cries. Your shoulders are still bony, so bring him into your chest where it’s warm and the sound of your beating chest can soothe him. Don’t forget to remind him to eat when he’s working too hard for hours on end, always have extra tissues in your bag for his nose, and make sure he checks his damn phone every now and then—just because. Jeongguk, don't forget that Taehyung sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night starving, so be prepared to cook up something at the oddest hours of the day. Don’t let him eat Burger King two days in a row, make sure he has something to hug on sleepless nights if not you, and watch movies with him if he wants your company, even if they’re not explosive or action-packed enough for your tastes.
Most importantly, never stop fighting for the love you’ve always believed in, that we have always believed in. Some days will be harder than others, you both know that best, but when that road starts getting dark, just remember that you never walk alone.
vows
Jeongguk (27, singer):
Everyday with you is unforgettable and special. You are the dumb to my dumber, my hyung and my best friend. You say you are a lover of the arts, but you are my lover who belongs in the museums. Not through the halls or with a sketchbook in hand, tucked into the corners unappreciated, but on the walls inside the frames with the tiny, little labels naming each and everyone of your toes and fingers, one for each eyebrow and more for every blemish. I want entire exhibits displaying the freckle on your nose, the freckles along your face that remind me of constellations because you were always meant to be appreciated by the world—the stars, the moons, the cosmos, and you. With my arms outstretched like branches towards the sky, you are my sunlight, and I am your sunflower. Starved and craving your all, as long as I’m engulfed in your warmth, I’m happy no matter where we go.
Taehyung (29, actor):
You used to ask me, “Who would you choose? Park Bo Gum or me?” Even if you knew the answer every single time, you asked and asked and asked. Do you remember that? Do you remember the first time you blurted that question and avoided me afterwards for five whole hours, too embarrassed to even look at me? Some days the answer was you without hesitation, and others, it was me kissing the ketchup off your lips. You’ve always loved me ravenously, took all my insecurities and shoveled them into your belly until all I could taste was the sweetness of your affection. Until I, too, loved so hungrily my skin ached for your touch even in sleep. You are my gentle fighter on the days that feel like war, breathing fire on your tongue when I’ve swallowed too much. Like the bunny to my tiger, I will crave you always until the ends of this earth, chase you till my claws become dull and my fur turns grey. But if I should ever let you slip away, guarantee on my life that I would rather starve to death before I have any other.
proposal
Taehyung (27, actor): Old news, but will you die with me when we’re eighty? For real?
Jeongguk (25, singer): That’s a bit morbid, but I’d love to.
promise
Jeongguk (15, trainee): A snowball fight probably wasn't the best idea, but let's do it again some day, you and I.
Taehyung (17, trainee): Sure. But only if you’ll keep me warm when that happens, just like you are now and just like you will tomorrow.
Jeongguk: As long as I’m around, you’ll never be cold.
Taehyung: Better be a long time then 'cause I'm cold.
Jeongguk: It will be.
Taehyung: Pft, how can you be so sure?
Jeongguk: Because I’ll pinky swear on it.
Taehyung: Got anything better?
Jeongguk: I’ll find something better to prove it, one of these days.