Chapter Text
"Welcome to casa de Strider for our infamous Mario Kart Mondays little man and little man's friend," Bro opened the door fully with a wide sweeping arm gesture. Dave pushed passed him with a jerk of his head that meant he was probably rolling his eyes and John hesitantly stepped into the Strider's apartment. From all the horror stories Dave had told him about over the years, John was slightly afraid to see it in person once he and his father moved the Texas. John was pleasantly surprised that not /every/ surface was covered in the creepy snippets he'd hear so much about and that Dave's older brother was wearing a normal polo and jeans. Normal if you didn't count his anime shades. "My name is John Egbert, thank you for having me over Mr. Strider," he politely stuck his hand out for a handshake. Bro high fived it then said, "God, you're definitely Josh's kid. Just call me Bro, everyone does. And by everyone I mean Dave over here-" he paused to affectionately give Dave a noogie "-and the pizza boy." Dave mouthed the word 'boyfriend' from under his brother's arm and twisted out of the strange embrace. "Bro, I'm hungry. I need food," Dave informed his brother as he stepped into the kitchen that was to the left of the entrance and began pawing through a drawer overflowing with what looked like take out menus. John began toeing off his sneakers to leave them on the door but he was stopped with the explanation of, "I don't know what half the shot laying on the floor is from. And I don't want to get sued if you step on a sword or get cholera or some shit like that." Thoroughly afraid now, John relaxed his shoes and joined Dave in selecting their dinner. "You weren't lying when you told me your brother was weird," John whispered. Bro appeared out of nowhere behind the two of them and placed his hands on their shoulders. John jumped a mile into the air, but Dave didn't even flinch. "Ladies, have you forgotten what tonight is?" "Goddamnit Bro, we've had pizza six times in the last week," Dave turned to glare at his brother through his shades. "Dave just doesn't want me to get laid. He wants his poor brother to die sexually frustrated, yearning for a toned, rugged Englishman with a very nice-" "I don't care anymore. I don't care," Dave had thankfully cut him off. "Just get me a Hawaiin." The brothers paused, and John was very afraid. His initial judgements about the Strider household were wrong, they were really fucking weird. John casually walked back a few steps. "Dave, pineapple is for pussies. Did I raise a goddamn cat?" "I'll go get the skirt," Dave trudged out of the room slow enough for John to follow. "So freakin' weird," John elaborated on his earlier comment. Dave just nodded and after disappearing into a random closet, came back with a grass skirt on over his skinny jeans and a lei for John. "You get used to it," Dave shrugged and then led John to his room where he showed him his latest mixes until the doorbell rang. The two boys tripped over themselves to get to the doorframe where they secretly spied on Bro. Bro answered the door shirtless and had an awkward conversation with a blushing British man that went something like this: "H-here's your pizza Mr. Strider." "You can just call me Bro, everyone does." "Ah, okay...Bro. I hope the sauce is to your liking this time." "You can sauce my pizza anytime." After Bro paid and the heavily blushing pizza boy went away, he sat down with his back to the door and a grin spread across his face. "You sicken me," Dave told him, grabbing a slice of pizza and handing the rest of the box to John. "You'll be sick when I kick your ass at Mario Kart." John supposed it was sort of strange that Dave's older bro was hanging out with them the first time John was over attheor appartment, but nothing seemed normal in the Strider household. Except that they were currently arguing over who got to sit wear. John plunked himself right in the middle of them, effectively ending their arguing. As Bro set up the Wii and the boys tore into the pizza, another question arose, who would choose what character. "I pick Bowser, I play to win," John blurted out without thinking, turning red with a strand of cheese hanging out of his mouth. Dave nodded at him in acceptance and Bro chuckled. "I like you, you can have Dave's hand in marriage at any time." The younger blonde protested, picking a piece of pineapple off his pizza to throw at Bro, but missing completely and having it land on his converse. Attempting to distract everyone from his uncool accident Dave cleared his throat and announced that he would be Princess Peach. For the irony. "I'm the queen of this household so I obviously get to be Peach." "Too bad Peach is a princess, not a queen then." John laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation, doubling over on laughter as they went back and forth until they both yelled, "Strife!" Bro opened a window and disappeared while Dave ran over to the fridge. He paused to take a swig of apple juice, reshelve a few fallen boxes of poptarts, grab a shitty sword and disappear out the window. John vaguely heard a, "David Elizabeth Strider! Go get your guest and bring him up here you ass," before Dave a swooped in and scooped him up bridal style. John wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and stared at the pair of shades he had given Dave for his birthday one year. John felt his stomach drop out from under him as they hovered briefly with nothing between them and certain death. John felt his heartbeat raising and a strange feeling of anxious excitement blossom within him. Then Dave unceremoniously dumped John on the ground and fromhis crumpled position John yelled, "Why the hell did you grab my butt Dave?!?" To which his only reply was, "No homo." John watched in fascination as their swords connected and they exchanged blows in a violent dance he could only half see. It was the first of many times he watched the Striders strife, which is how they solved most of their disagreements. It was the first of many times where Dave pouted over having to play as Princess Daisy and John kicking their asses anyways. It was the first of many times he stayed up late talking to Dave, lying in bed next to him, then completely regretting it when they had to sprint down all those fucking stairs with toast hanging out of their mouths so they wouldn't be late to school. It was the first of many, many, Mario Kart Mondays.