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Kakashi hadn’t thought much about his last mission since returning to the village. He didn’t think much about his missions in general anymore. Life sort of blurred together. This last mission had been to take out a human trafficking ring run by some rogue ninja. They had brought back a teenager being held captive there. She’d been bloody and unconscious when Kakashi’s ANBU squad found her. She seemed to be around Kakashi’s age—though it was hard to tell when she looked so bloody and broken. They’d rushed her to the hospital when they got back to Konoha, and Kakashi hadn’t given her much thought since.
That was two weeks ago. Sarutobi-sama had given Kakashi some vacation time after the mission. Said he’d had too many back-to-back missions lately and needed to take some time off. Kakashi didn’t want time off though. Time off gave him time to think. Time to remember. Remember Obito. Remember Rin. Remember Rin’s face as she impaled herself on Kakashi’s chidori.
Kakashi’s breath caught in his throat.
No. Not again. Not now.
In a panic, the silver-haired ANBU rushed to his kitchen sink. He frantically scrubbed his hand.
It won’t wash off. Why won’t it wash off?
Several minutes later, a knock on the door caught his attention. Kakashi turned off the water and dried his hand. Gai called and hollered for him as Kakashi walked to let his self-proclaimed rival in. Kakashi opened his door to find Gai wasn’t alone. Accompanying him was a teenage boy dressed in civilian clothes.
“My eternal rival! This is Ichiru Hikari. He said he wants to repay you for saving his life. What a youthful endeavor!”
The boy—Ichiru—shifted uncomfortably, not quite meeting Kakashi’s eye.
Kakashi looked the boy over. Though cleaned up and now with shorter hair, Kakashi realized he was the one his ANBU squad had saved from the rogue ninja a few weeks ago.
So, he’s actually a boy…
“Please allow me to repay you for saving my life, Hatake-san,” Ichiru pleaded.
“It’s nothing,” Kakashi dismissed the boy, wanting them both to leave him alone. “Forget about it.”
“It’s not nothing!” Ichiru insisted. “You saved my life! Please, Hatake-san! Allow me to repay you somehow!”
“Just forget about it.” Kakashi closed his door, effectively ending the conversation.
***
Ichiru did not forget about it. And, apparently, wasn’t willing to leave Kakashi alone. He had a habit of appearing out of nowhere. When Kakashi was at the bookstore, there was Ichiru, insisting on carrying his books. When Kakashi went the Yamanaka Flower Shop to buy flowers for Rin and Obito, there was Ichiru, insisting on carrying those too. When Kakashi trained until his fist were bruised and bloodied, there was Ichiru, insisting on bandaging his wounds. Kakashi would always dismiss the teen and leave, hoping he’d be left alone.
Ichiru only got more insistent.
He learned what he read and how fast. Whenever Kakashi finished a book and went to buy the next one, Ichiru would appear with it already purchased for him. He learned Kakashi’s schedule and which days he went to visit Rin and Obito. He’d wait for Kakashi outside the flower shop, a bouquet already in hand. He seemed to know when Kakashi was about to push himself to the point of injury and tried to intervene before the older teen could injure himself too much. Kakashi still tried to turn him away.
Ichiru only got bolder.
One day, he showed up at Kakashi’s apartment.
“What do you want, Ichiru? What are you doing here?”
Ichiru held up a bag of take out. “I heard Asuma-san and Kurenai-san talking about how you haven’t been eating much or taking good care of yourself. So, I brought you some food. There should be enough for lunch and dinner. Don’t worry, I didn’t bring any for me. I know you don’t like me that much. But I wanted to make sure you eat.”
Kakashi frowned underneath his mask. He glared at the boy with his one visible eye. “Why do you care if I eat?”
“Because you saved my life.”
“That was 6 months ago. I told you to forget about it. Why do you still do this?”
Ichiru never really looked anyone in the eye. But he looked even more distant this time. Like he was looking into the past. “Because everyone needs someone to take care of them sometimes. You’re not taking care of you. So right now, you need someone to take care of you. You won’t let your friends take care of you, and they’re trying to respect that you need space right now…for whatever your reasons for needing space are. But someone still needs to take care of you.”
Kakashi rolled his eye. “I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone taking care of me.”
Ichiru looked into Kakashi’s exposed eye. Twin pools of emerald green swirling with concern and empathy. Kakashi was startled by the smaller teen’s gaze. Ichiru had followed him around for half a year and never once had he looked Kakashi—or anyone—in the eye. Kakashi felt disarmed for a moment. In that moment of confusion, Ichiru did something no one had done in many years. He hugged Kakashi.
The ANBU was dumbfounded, unable to respond. When was the last time someone had touched him? Embraced him? When was the last time he’d experienced human contact outside of the battlefield, when his hand was going through someone’s chest?
“You’ve been taking care of yourself by yourself for too long, Kakashi-san,” Ichiru said softly. “You’re not alone. You don’t need to be by yourself. You don’t need to be strong all the time. Please, let me be your strength so you can rest for a little while.”
A single tear fell down Kakashi’s cheek.