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Cassian Andor was not one to wear his heart on his sleeve. He was a solider. He had been a solider all his life and would most likely remain one until the end of his days. Emotions weren’t something he was comfortable expressing, even when it came to you.
Of course, you knew that when you started dating. You knew he was never going to be the type for big romantic gestures or declarations, but you didn’t mind. He more than made up for it in the little things.
His eyes tended to linger on you longer than necessary. He would stand close to you during council meetings, as his hand quietly found yours under the table or pressed gently against the small of your back. It was his own subtle way of reminding you he loved you, but the way you felt it most were in the names he gave you.
You tried to get him to tell you what they meant, but he would always just smile and promise they were nothing bad.
He called you “cariña” the most. It was said openly, with little mind of who heard. A small kiss on the temple or squeeze of the hand would accompany it as he sat next to you in the mess hall or joined you to do repairs on the ship. It was casual, and sweet, and always brought a small smile to your face whenever you heard it. He was happy when he called you cariña. It meant he wasn’t leaving for a new mission anytime soon and he would be yours at least for the day. You never complained when he called you cariña.
“Princesa” was always said with a smirk, and teasing tone. You didn’t need him to translate to know what he was really saying. It was in those moments you found yourself half-way between smacking him and kissing him. You two were never in the open when he called you that. You were inside the cargo bay of a ship standing a little closer than necessary or in an abandoned corridor with your back against the wall with Cassian standing barely a foot in front of you. You wanted to say something smart, but his lips would inevitably find yours silencing all protest. You would be annoyed, but he was rarely so playful with touch and kisses, you couldn’t help but enjoy it. Your hands would find his jacket as he gripped your waist pulling you close. You would end up smiling despite yourself before duty would pull you both away.
“Mi cielito” was moaned against your neck before continuing his downward trail of bites and kisses against your skin. Your clothes were quickly torn off your body as you let out your own cries of pleasure. Your fingers curled into his hair as you writhed beneath him begging him to give you more, repeating his name over and over like a prayer. It spurred him on as he gave you more of what you wanted before taking it way, teasing you, making your pleas more desperate, as he continuously took you to the edge but denying you. He looked you up and down worshiping your body, “mi cielito” falling from his lips. You were a sweating mewling mess by the time he finally gave you relief, making you scream out his name, uncaring of who heard you.
“Mi amada” was a whisper into your ear as you clung to him, hoping to chase the nightmares away. You cried into his shoulder as he held you, whispering promises into your ear. He wasn’t leaving. You were safe. He wasn’t going to let anything happen to you. Mi amada, was always part of that promise. It gave you warmth and comfort more than all the other little words. He would hold you close the rest of the night. His fingers played with your hair, repeating the same soft words until you once again drifted off to sleep.
“Mi alma” was the one you were never sure was meant for your ears. It was said in darkness, your eyes still blurred from sleep. You felt Cassian’s body wrapped around you, shaking slightly as he tried to get a grip on his own breathing. You knew his own nightmares plagued him. He wasn’t one to scream into the night. He jolted awake, ready to fight, reaching for the blaster kept in the side table by the bed. If you woke up, he would tell you to go back to sleep. You always refused, instead, holding him close until his eyes closed and his breathing became steady. In these moments however, when he woke up without you, he tried to face it on his own. He pulled you to him, your back resting against his chest. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, breathing you in, as if making sure you were real. You kept your own breath steady so not to disturb him. You then heard a small murmur. The words “mi alma” drifting from his lips. There was something delicate about the way he said it, a secret he would never tell you in the daylight. As his voice faded away to sleep, you wondered if he would ever tell you exactly what said. You supposed not, but it didn’t matter. You didn’t need to know the translation to know what he meant.
Cassian Andor loved you. He didn’t say it that often in the conventional sense. He said it in the way he looked at you, the way he kept you close, and the little names that told you, you were his and he was most certainly yours.