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Drag Me to (Seven Minutes in) Heaven
"Oh... Shit?" The Groaner blurted after their banter had registered, gaping at his stunned arch-nemesis; barely hearing the 'Shut Up! I don't wanna talk about it! Good night!!' being babbled out of the nearly sobbing man, Saturn stomping off.
Had they really?
Was that make-out and grope session really with Black Saturn?
Maybe, subconsciously, part of him knew it, deep down; the way what was supposed to be his Viking girl's quick, shuddery breaths were a little low, a bit husky before they turned into the soft whimpers of crying. The clown had passed it off easily, just as he had the pecs-rather-than-tits, the heat between the slightly taller person's thighs--- and Groaner had noted that the blonde woman had been just a few inches shorter-- not the former... but in the few initials seconds of shock when the closet door slid shut and the two individuals crashed together, hands hesitant as they felt out shoulders, pulled the other closer... It was safe that the redhead had a fair inclination that he was necking with his nemesis.
Not... that he was complaining. This was exhilarating-- it was easy to forget (crying aside) that this was not who his hook-up was supposed to be but perhaps who it SHOULD be. There was no resistance as his hands moved, no recoiling as he squeezed those 'tits', wrapped his arms around the other's waist and grabbed handfuls of ass. Ohh.. yeah, he was already half-stocked thinking about it again and the Groaner decided that now was probably the best time for him to make his uninvited exit.
-
"Shut up!!! I don't wanna talk about it! Good night!!!" Black Saturn barked between sobs as he stomped through the mansion, his face wet and flushed, his hands hanging at his sides as he made it to the end of the hall to his room. Cape and cowl discarded as soon as his door shut, the self-proclaimed vigilante let out a low sigh that dissolved into more sobbing and he staggered to his bed, flopping down. Oh God. Oh Godddd...
It finally HAPPENED!
Things... had been weird in his head over his nemesis for a while now. Sure, he'd mostly gotten over seeing the other dude naked, literally getting up close and too personal with that assault weapon he called a dick (And not even in a fun way) and he'd gotten through the weird hump of needing to have his one and only fighting partner BE clown-like-- hell, he'd just (barely) gotten over finding out that Groaner was married in the future (and the guy TOTALLY cheated on his spouse by making out with him in front of all of those whacked-out Robobots.), that like tonight, he even found somebody. Every time he'd grazed by the clown flirting with somebody else, even getting to mack out in the open with that blonde made Saturn's stomach turn. Jealousy mixed with something he couldn't place like... the Groaner was clearly HIS nemesis-- they were kind of a thing, right?
But tonight-- technically that was him, wasn't it...
Yeah, the guy got to get to make out with that blonde Viking chick-- but in the closet... it had been HIM.
CJ sniffed, wiping at his eyes as he rolled onto his back and let out another shuddery breath.
He was so hard right now-- it would be shameful if he could feel any kind of shame. He had almost managed to get completely off in the closet, dick out but untouched-- what he'd thought was his cat-girl actually being the secret object of his subconscious affections.
He'd made out with the Groaner. He'd let his nemesis grope him, almost everywhere-- he'd made the redhead literally groan for him and the thought made a sudden laugh burst from CJ's mouth; his hands going to smother the next few excited laughs that left him. Holy SHIT!!! He'd totally made the fuck out with the Groaner and it was some of-- if not the hottest canon interaction he'd had in his nearly thirty years...
With his arch.
With that hilarious, foolish, strong boned, pale, skinny redhead... Nghh... So his type.
"Oh... Shit..."
-
"Saturn-- your NEMESIS--" Rex rumbled, sounding perpetually annoyed-- "-- Is at that damn pickle factory from a while back-- what the HELL is it with that guy and that place? Didn't he lose a goddamn finger in there?"
"Er-- Yeah. HE lost it. Not me. S'not my fault he can't catch things... er... rings. What?" Black Saturn interrupted himself, perched on the kitchen counter, the remainder of a brown cinnamon Pop-Tart balanced on his knee.
"It was delicioussss..." Cootch hissed to no one in particular, reminiscing about the ingested digit.
"Go find out what he's up to and put a stop to it, we all know you'll throw a world-class fit if anyone else goes to stop him."
"Would not! Whoa-- shit! Damn!" The tart fell down from Saturn's knee, all the way down to the floor and he clucked his tongue against the roof of his mouth in pedantic annoyance, breath huffing through his nose. "MY POP-TART!!! 5 Second rule!" The almost man-child slid down similarly from the counter, all while his teammates stared, watching as he picked up the partially broken confection and dusted it off on his cape before stuffing it into his mouth. "S'fine. Still good." BS sputtered between bites, eyes narrowed at the offending Titanium Rex.
"Would you just go already? Jesus Christ! Somebody could be getting hurt!"
"Oh, c'mon Rex!! Like he's really gonna do anything-- probably just trying to lure me there--" CJ paused, his head cocking to the side, tart crumbs on his cheeks. "Y'know, I'm gonna get going!" Black Saturn's tune changed as it dawned on him that maybe this WAS his-- the clown trying to get his attention.
It took no time to get to the factory on the other side of town, the lights out in the abandoned-looking building. It was Sunday-- so it technically WAS abandoned, but that was trivial as the superhero shattered one of the side windows, leaping through with an over-dramatic sound of exertion. It wasn't actually trivial, a 'seriously dude?!' being barked from somewhere in the warehouse and Saturn answered back with a "Sorrrrryyyyy!!!" a grin falling onto the hero's face as he power-walked through the building.
"Hey... It's dark in here... Where are you?" Came too sheepish of a question from the vigilante, looking around in the dim space, a little too excited already.
"Wouldn't you like to know..." The Groaner tittered, letting out a light cackle for dramatic emphasis, gaze fixed on the cautious object of his desire.
Oh yes-- there had really been no denying it, what had happened last night was insanely hot-- extra-hot (he'd spent enough time in the last almost 24-hours rationalizing the experience and as of yet nothing had topped it... and very likely nothing else would.) This was his NEMESIS. There was kind of an unspoken rule of thumb that you don't fall in love with the person you're supposed to hate the most. But... Saturn had been so... Mnnf... It was hard NOT to get hard at the thought, the way the other yielded, so hungry, so eager for his mouth. Sure... there had been some crying-- lots of crying... but even that, post-event, Groaner had found somewhat endearing.
NOW, his mission was for more-- he needed it. It wasn't even about want-- it wasn't realized that he'd admitted to Black Saturn that his type very much was Black Saturn (tm). They had crushed together in the closet and tonight-- if he had his way, he'd be able to charm his arch into more.
"Right behind you-- Okay-- well, wait. Not RIGHT behind you." The clown admitted with a light shrug, hands moving to his waist as he stood at the end of the short hallway that his nemesis was standing in the middle of. Black Saturn froze in place, not yet whirling to face off with his enemy; he felt like he'd been infected by the clown, given some kind of sickness, a fever and the only cure was more clownbell. A few quick steps and his arch murmured a "NOW I'm right behind you."
CJ's breath was coming too fast as he realized that the other man WAS awfully close and he whirled, able to feel the heat coming from his sweatered arch-- Oh how had he let himself get snuck up on so easily? Was he that distracted? As his dark eyes were drawn to the other man's red nose, Saturn finally turned to confirm that yes, yes he was indeed too wound up over his nemesis. And he was way too close, a weak noise leaving his mouth as echoes of last night's indiscretion came back to mind.
"Wuh--" Saturn cleared his throat, irritated at himself that his voice had broken. "What are you doing here, Groaner? I'm here to stop you..."
"Oh yeah? And how do you suppose you're going to do that, mm?" The redhead replied, brows lowered as he stared at the exposed mouth he so badly wanted to kiss again, leaning against the wall he'd effectively boxed the vigilante against, casual despite how excited he felt. Oh, there was no way he wasn't gonna get at very least a kiss right now.
"Uhh..." Saturn audibly swallowed, shifting on his feet as he tipped his head to the side, nostrils flared beneath his cowl. Groaner was well into his bubble-- not that he was complaining. "What are you uhh... doing here?"
"Oh? Me? Pfft... Sheesh... Figured this would be the easiest place to meet you-- kinda been dodging the guys over at Arby's... they keep offering me a job I frankly don't want." Groaner murmured, now openly leaning against the wall, gesturing casually with his four-out-of-five hand as he kept his gaze locked on his nemesis.
"Yeah no-- that's not the job for you-- you're doing fine... right?"
"Mm I'm doing okay... Been thinking about what happened last night--"
"--I don't wanna talk about it!" Saturn blurted suddenly, turning his face away from his nemesis-- giving the clown ample opportunity to tuck in.
"...We don't have to talk..." His voice was a little low, a bit husky and Black Saturn's eyebrows rose as he felt the other man's nose graze his neck, then jaw.
"Hnngh... Good..." Came the equally deep, relieved sounding response, CJ Wheelihan turning his head further away from his counterpart, exposing more of his costumed throat.
"Mmh... But I gotta admit, crying aside... you're a pretty good kisser..." Groaner murmured, daring to press his face against the warmth offered, not yet daring to kiss the other man-- ohhh but he wanted to... and so far the resistance from Saturn was weak at best. "Bet you've been thinking about it..."
"Nhh.." The vigilante huffed out a breath, eyes shutting as he tilted his head further back, swallowing visibly.
"About my hands on you, mmh? Didn't think it'd feel so good with me, didja..."
"I did..." Black Saturn wheezed out, almost sulky, his hands flattening against the wall he was allowing himself to get pressed against.
"Ohoho... Damn, man... That's super-hot. Like, extremely hot." Groaner whispered, tilting his head so that they were nearly nose to nose, his 'eyes' lidded as his gaze flicked from the other man's mouth then back up.
"...Yeah... Still, can't stop thinking about it... About you..." The vigilante admitted in almost a whisper, finally meeting the other's eyes, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he stared back into his nemesis. His hands moved to the slightly shorter man's, fingers interlocking and yet still, Black Saturn let his nemesis hold him against the wall. "Never... got to apologize..." He wheezed, squeezing his right hand against the Groaner's left.
The redhead's eyes shut for a moment and he let out an unwarranted giggle; this was so ridiculous, it was absurd... but it was so exhilarating, it felt like he was falling into a comfort zone, into a place he very desperately wanted to be. Groaner tilted his face away from the direction Saturn leaned, watching, listening to him suck in a sulky breath before he gave in. "You...can make it up to me... somehow..." The clown murmured, tipping his head away again, the other man following his mouth now and he was rewarded with a clipped noise of disappointment, a pinkness beneath that dark purple cowl. Another head tip and now an almost nervously giggled 'c'mon' from the self-proclaimed hero before the clown grasped that big jaw with nine fingers, pulling the other man's face to his and took a zero percent resisted kiss from his arch-nemesis, a noise leaving his throat as his black leather-clad fetish leaned into him, into his touch, too eagerly wound his strong arms around him.
Oh GOD-- Black Saturn wanted him too, he could just feel it-- he'd KNOWN it for so long... they'd just needed something to push them over the edge into this deepening pit of desire.
There was no real pressure to break apart at the moment-- besides both of them technically trespassing right now-- and there they were, the near wetness of tears, hitched breaths between kisses.
"You okay?" Groaner whispered hoarsely against his nemesis' mouth, their foreheads pressed together as he eased off of the vigilante a tad.
'Yeah--Yeah--" Saturn gasped in, nodding with his words, sucking in another sharp breath as he took initiative this time, pulling his arch back to him.
They broke apart a second time to catch their breaths, Black Saturn tipping his head back against this inviting wall and letting out something short of a moan.
"So uhh... y'wanna come back to the mansion?"
"Yeah?"
"I can 'apprehend you'..." The vigilante offered, feeling his face get somehow even hotter as his nemesis hooked a finger against his utility belt and tugged him away from the wall.
"Oooh... I like the sound of that... What are you gonna do then, Black Saturn?"
It was a little rare to hear his name fall from that mouth and the hero whined out a weak noise, staggering towards the other man, too horny to think about banter.
"Stuff. Lots of it. We can sneak up to my room..."
"Mmhmm..."
"And do stuff there... Maybe I can convince Rex to lock you up again properly..."
"Whysat?" Groaner nearly purred, his heart racing as he pulled the caped crusader towards him, back to the entrance of the factory.
"So I can keep you around... I miss having you nearby..." Saturn admitted earnestly, following after his nemesis, their hands locked together as Groaner walked backward.
"You missed me?"
"Uhh... DUH. Come on dude. I... you're my nemesis. You're the one."
The redhead paused for a moment, stunned by the words and swallowed the sudden lump in his throat-- still foolishly turned on by this but, there was something more exciting about these casual little admissions and by damn, he was right, wasn't he.
"Well... not gonna argue that... Y'know, I think maybe we're meant to be..."
A loud giggle burst past the vigilante's mouth, amazed at how natural this felt, how their easy, typical behavior felt so comfortable while their hands were intertwined, with their mouth still tingling from hard kisses.
"What?"
"I just... Yeah. I've got plans for you. For us." Saturn murmured, happy to be led out of the factory without having to do too much legwork.
"'Us', huh? That sounds my kind of dubious..." The clown cackled over his shoulder, holding onto his arch's hand tightly; the two hopping out of the broken window, down to Saturn's coupe. A surprised laugh of a noise left the villain as he was walked to the passenger's side of the vehicle, the door opened for him. "Oooh, a guy could get used to this..."
"You better-- I'm the best boyfriend, trust me."
"Boyfriend, huh?"
Saturn went red beneath his cowl, eyes going a little too wide and suddenly his mouth was dry, any ability to respond adequately obliterated except for the sheepish 'oh shit' that left his lips.
"I think you'd be good boyfriend material, bet it'd really rub everyone the wrong way too, but who cares. I'm in. Well, I will be."
"Huh?"
"Nothing, heh... nothing!" The Groaner tittered, sliding into the passenger's seat with a smug mug, buzzed at the prospect of getting to (literally) tangle with his nemesis a lot more.
-
The whole 'I'm apprehending Groaner and keeping him in the super jail' really didn't last too long; not more than two weeks before both men gave up on sneaking back down to the basement level each night in lieu of simply locking Saturn's bedroom door and sleeping tangled together.
There were little complaints from the rest of the house (minus the confusion from Ranger and the occasional snarky comment from Rex) of the clown meandering around the mansion, sometimes quite early in the morning; wearing a dark purple robe, brewing a pot of coffee for the house. It was unanimously agreed that Groaner did in fact make the best batch of joe and with that knowledge, even Rex had stifled himself after a while.
He had become a fixture in the giant house and his presence had made Black Saturn infinitely more tolerable to be around. Sure-- now instead of being perched on the counters or lounged across the couch, he was sitting too close to his boyfriend and lying across HIM on the couch... But he seemed a little more patient, a little bit calmer-- Amicable even.
The Groaner was good for him and for what it was worth, Saturn was good for the clown. There was something about having stability, about having something that felt like a home to come back to. Yes, everything was technically CJ's but he was so eager to share his things, spend his parent's money on whatever whim came to his arch-boyfriend's mind-- and fortunately, Groaner wasn't as big of a fool as his lover, he had no inclination to piss off his partner's billionaire parents... though he'd have to have a sit down with Mr.Wheelihan one of these days to discuss the whole 'Aspen' incident.
The fighting had dwindled down to mild arguing over where they were going out to dinner or what to watch on Netflix; the casual weeks together turning into casual months. It was as if Groaner had walked into the mansion on November 1st and not walked back out. He'd been there for Thanksgiving, Christmas (and whatever it was that Robobot was celebrating these days), they'd stood together, arms around the other's lower back and watched a spectacular fireworks show on the mansion lawn-- never once feeling out of place.
"I love you, CJ." The redhead breathed out, tugging his partner closer as the fireworks burst above their heads.
"I--" The tears were instant, along with the gasp. No one really... FREELY said this to him-- it was even a struggle to get his parents to admit it... and here was his arch-nemesis, bundled up next to him, just casually admitting it. "I--" The cowled man sniffed, resting his cheek on his lover's shoulder. "I love you too, G..."
"Aww... stop crying you mush, jeez..." The clown teased, turning to wrap his arms around his now sobbing lover, tutting and laughing as pressed his cheek against the other's cowled head.
-
They would have staged rendezvous on rooftops, fake apprehensions, planned break-ins to the pickle factory that had become somewhat special to them both. Neither knew it as of yet, but CJ would drop to one knee in this very building not a year later, offering a gold band in a dark blue ring box, tears already streaming down from under his mask as he asked his nemesis to become his, officially. Mr. Groaner Wheelihan, a gold band to slide onto the finger he'd accidentally detached-- at very least he could make it sparkle.
"Groaner-- will you... will you uh... marry me?" The vigilante managed to breathe out, staring earnestly up at his boyfriend, his fianceé hopefully. Thankfully, the hero had practiced (a LOT), just barely able to keep the wibble from his voice.
"Oh shit!!! I mean yes! Yes! Of course!"
"S'super expensive gold..." Another vocal wobble, tears still streaming down his cheeks.
"Ohhh...I don't care..." The skeleton-faced clown babbled as he dropped to his knees, crying as if he were as big of a bitch as his future husband and embraced his stupid, adorable dipshit of a nemesis. He didn't particularly care about the wealth, (though he did like his future mother-in-law quite a bit, she was a wildcard and it would inevitably make their lives easier) or the big to-do that would surely ensue.. it was that his mushy dope had put some thought into this, that CJ loved him as much as he loved his dark knight.
"I love you..." Saturn breathed into his redhead's ear, hugging Groaner closer, tighter.
"I love you too, Ceej, so, so much..." The red-nosed man sniffed, pressing his face into the curve of his someday husband's neck, eyes shutting as he inhaled his what-- his fiancee?-- that sounded good,-- as he inhaled the stupid brand of aftershave marketed to teenage boys that his lover kept buying regardless.
"Hey you uhhh... sorry to interrupt-- you guys wanna get outta here before we open?" Frank-- the security guard that had been hired by the oft-broken into pickle factory-- the navy blue jacketed dumpling who'd been paid off by Black Saturn to keep a door unlocked for them if they so wished and so far, Frank had been a good wing-man for them both. "Oh and congratulations-- been keeping my fingers crossed for you two.."
"Aww... You're good people, Frank." Saturn admitted, getting up with the offered hand from his now fiancee, then hoisting Groaner up after him.
"You are totally invited to the wedding! Right baby?" The redhead asked, lightly elbowing his partner.
"Oh, definitely. Plus one and everything!"
"Guyssss... Okay, go, go, we're having a walk-through today, make haste!" Frank the security guard murmured, shooing away the two lovebirds he felt only mildly jealous over.
And he did make it to the massive wedding, finding his elaborate invitation perched on the window sill that the two men had been most apt to break before they'd settled on their deal.
The End