Chapter Text
Seokjin sighed as he entered the house behind all of the other members, the maknae line screaming in joy at finally being home. Seokjin locked the door behind him before making his way straight to the kitchen, wondering what he should prepare for dinner. He smiled as he passed by the living room where Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin were invested in a video game. Hoseok left to take a shower while both Namjoon and Yoongi decided to go to their rooms to take a nap. They were finally given an entire week off from their busy schedules to allow them time to relax. Although this was something to be happy about, Seokjin didn’t seem to be feeling as overjoyed as everyone else.
Everything was so hard on him lately. They had been practicing nonstop for their next comeback for the past weeks and Seokjin had barely gotten a break. As soon as they all returned home, it’d be straight to the kitchen to make dinner, clean, do laundry, all sorts of things before he could finally go to bed. It especially didn’t help that he was having difficulties learning their choreography. He would constantly mess up during their practice and he felt terrible having to make everyone start over again all because of him. He thought about all the comments he had read saying he can’t dance and he was beginning to think it was true. Even his vocals didn’t seem to be doing so well. He had difficulties singing a line in one of their new songs to the point where the line was given to Jimin instead. It hurt slightly, but he loved Jimin too much to allow himself to be upset about it. It was his own fault, Seokjin told himself. Seokjin tried harder and harder, tiring himself out each day, wanting to do nothing but sleep as soon as he got home. But it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t get to where he wanted to be. He was even beginning to think he didn’t belong in the group. Seokjin shook his head, urging that thought to go away as soon as it formed. He tried to focus on cooking, not wanting to be so emotional anymore.
“Do you need any help, hyung?”
Seokjin jumped at the voice, turning back to meet Namjoon’s gaze. He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips as soon as he saw him, a blush nearly forming on Seokjin’s cheeks.
“I’m fine, Joon. I’d rather you not break anything again,” Seokjin laughed.
Namjoon faked being offended at the statement before laughing along, “I promise I won’t break anything.”
Seokjin felt happy that Namjoon wanted to help him and he desperately wanted to accept his offer. He didn’t want to be so alone in the kitchen, he wanted someone to be there with him. But he thought that was selfish; Namjoon had been working so hard, harder than he had and he deserved a break.
“It’s okay, Namjoon, you’ve been working really hard lately. You deserve a break. I’ll cook dinner by myself.”
Namjoon hesitated at first, but accepted Seokjin’s statement and went off into the living room. The uncomfortable, stressful feeling Seokjin had been pushing away returned as soon as Namjoon left: he really didn’t want to be alone. He felt so weak for wanting company. He felt so pathetic.
☆.。.:*
“Jin-hyung, are you okay?” Jungkook asked at the dinner table before proceeding to stuff himself with more food.
Seokjin looked away from his plate, most of the food remaining untouched.
“I’m fine, why?” Seokjin replied as enthusiastically as he could, giving Jungkook a smile.
“You haven’t been talking much,” Yoongi said, “or making your usual dad jokes-don’t!”
Everyone laughed as Seokjin had opened his mouth, no doubt to say another of his infamous jokes.
“You didn’t eat any of your food, either,” Jimin said, his voice laced with concern. The worry in Jimin’s voice made Seokjin feel bad; the last thing he wanted was to make any of them worry about him. It was his job to worry about them. Not the other way around.
“I’m just not very hungry, that’s all!” Seokjin reassured them, though he didn’t seem to be convincing them much.
“I can always have it,” Taehyung said, reaching over to grab Seokjin’s plate before his hand was slapped away by Hoseok. Taehyung yelped as he brought his ‘injured’ hand to his cheek, caressing it with his other hand. “That hurt! Jungkookie, kiss it better,” Taehyung whined as he held his hand out to Jungkook who simply slapped his hand away harder while everyone laughed as Taehyung whined in even more exaggerated pain.
Seokjin was glad as everyone forgot about him, not wanting to worry anyone even more.
After dinner, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Jimin returned to the living room to resume their video games while Yoongi and Hoseok just watched. Namjoon had offered to help Seokjin clean up, but he declined his offer yet again, telling him to go rest. Seokjin washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, wanting to hurry up so he could hide in his room. His chest felt heavy and he could barely concentrate on anything, but he refused to tell anyone. He would deal with it alone, just like he always has and always will.
As soon as Seokjin finished, he quickly went up to his room, nearly tripping on the stairs from how out of it he was. Seokjin went into his room, shutting the door as he crawled into his bed, holding his knees to his chest. He wanted to cry so badly. He was stressed out for their next comeback, knowing that it was him who would be the most likely to mess something up. He tried so hard to improve his vocals, but it only ended with his usual low amount of lines and even giving up some to Jimin. He’s been taking care of everyone and comforting them, but not doing the same for himself. He was putting everyone else first before him. It was breaking him. Seokjin hid his face in his knees, not being able to control his tears anymore. He’s felt stressed before, but he had never felt this hurt. He sobbed uncontrollably, hoping that no one would be able to hear him. His breathing became uneven as his crying refused to stop. It felt like Seokjin could cry forever.
“Hey, hyung, I-” Hoseok had opened the door to Seokjin’s room, but completely halted when seeing the position he was in.
Seokjin immediately stopped crying upon hearing Hoseok’s voice. He had forgotten to lock the door. He was so stupid. The realization that Hoseok had just walked in on him crying made him start to cry harder. Hoseok is going to think he’s weak. He’s going to think he’s pathetic and stupid and gross and a failure-
“Jin-hyung, please don’t cry,” Hoseok softly spoke as he gently rubbed Seokjin’s back reassuringly, extremely worried about him. He had never seen Seokjin cry like this before.
The comfort was unexpected and Seokjin just couldn’t seem to control his crying. Hoseok had sat down next to him and kept rubbing Seokjin’s back and softly talking to him, trying his best to comfort him. Seokjin’s crying eventually died down into sniffles and his breathing was normal again. Hoseok sighed in relief, but was worried about him nonetheless. What had made him so upset to cry that much?
“Jin-hyung, can you look at me?”
The last thing Seokjin wanted was for Hoseok to see him in the state he was in. He felt so gross, his face wet from all of the tears and his eyes felt swollen and no doubt red. He shook his head, refusing to lift his head. Suddenly, Seokjin felt Hoseok get up and he immediately feared that Hoseok was leaving him. He looked up to quickly grab Hoseok’s arm as Hoseok looked back at him in shock. Seokjin’s eyes were glossy, his cheeks were red and stained with tears, it made Hoseok want to hug him and never let go.
“I was going to get you tissues,” Hoseok smiled warmly at his hyung, reassuring that he wasn’t going to leave his side.
Seokjin sighed in relief, slightly embarrassed for his current appearance. Hoseok grabbed the tissue box and headed back to Seokjin as he blew his nose and tried to clean his face up. It upset Hoseok to see him this way. He almost felt at fault for not realizing what Seokjin was feeling. He had been acting strange, rarely talking as much as he used to, not eating as much. How could he not have noticed there was something wrong before?
“Do you want to talk about what happened, Jinnie?” Hoseok asked as he gently ran his fingers through Seokjin’s hair. Seokjin leaned into his touch, feeling quite warm at the cute nickname, but shook his head, only wanting to stay like this with Hoseok. Hoseok smiled at him, understanding he didn’t want to talk about it and Seokjin was grateful.
“Can...can you just stay here with me?” Seokjin asked timidly, his voice so small and fragile.
Hoseok didn’t need him to ask twice.
The two of them stayed together, cuddling, Seokjin’s head resting against Hoseok’s chest, listening to the calming rhythm of his heartbeat as Hoseok softly sang to him until all of Seokjin’s worries were washed away and all he could do was sleep. Maybe he needed to be cared for, too.