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It is a universally accepted truth amongst team Voltron that Lance is a giant flirt. Everyone has witnessed it first hand and Allura isn't the only one who's been on the receiving end. Lance hits on people regardless of gender. Men, women, gender neutral aliens, no one is safe from his charms.
The funny thing is that Lance, while terrible at flirting, is probably the most diplomatic of all of them. His easygoing personality and approachable body language makes him seem most friendly to other races, and on occasion, he uses his way with words for good. He has confidence that Hunk lacks, approachability that Pidge and Keith don't have, and a sense of trust that Shiro lost a long time ago.
This diplomacy is mostly a good thing for them. They've saved so many due to Lance and his willingness to go out of his comfort zone. But approachability can be a downfall as well, because Lance has trouble reading other people. He can usually differentiate between friend and foe, but friend and wants to be slightly more than friends? Absolutely not.
It's just so happens that Lance, the king of flirting, is completely oblivious when others are trying to come on to him. That might not be a problem, but his congenial personality reels in more than just friends.
This causes some..issues...on occasion.
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The first time it happens they're at a space port in a mostly pacifistic galaxy. Everyone is tired of bland green space goop, and Hunk had spent the last few days begging Coran to let them stop somewhere. What's the fun of traversing the universe if you don't get to enjoy the cuisine, right?
Coran finally relents when a few of the screens in the main meeting room short out, Pidge can't fix it and what they need is a small plug found in any port, an easy fix. Allura gives them each a pouch of silver colored coins that they learn is the usual currency for ports like these, and sets them free on the tiny planet turned port.
They don't just wander off willy nilly of course, they have a buddy system in place for situations like these. Keith and Shiro buddy up to gather other basic necessities, Pidge heads off with Coran to the alien hardware store and Hunk and Lance go on an epic quest for the universes weirdest foods. The princess stays behind in the castle as protection. It's a fool proof plan.
Except it isn't.
Because Hunk looses Lance in the first five minutes.
Seriously though, the crowds are insane and one minute he's looking at some very spicy looking and the next Lance had dissolved into the crowd. Hunk spends a few minutes trying to stay calm. Lance had probably just gotten distracted by something shiny. He has nearby for sure. Lace was loud, right? He would be easy to find.
He wasn't.
Hunk spent about 20 minutes getting more and more nervous. Lance was nowhere to be seen and he had now wandered away from the main market, into the dark, less traveled alley ways. He was just about ready to give up and cal for help. Shiro would track down Lance like a blood hound in no time. It was a special skill of his.
But just as he started to loose hope, lo and behold, a familiar giggle from farther down a darkened street. Further investigation revealed what could only be a mechanics shop. The yard was littered with various space ship bits and pieces, and in the middle of it all was Lance.
Lance, and someone who was way up in Lance's personal space.
The guy was some sort of species they hadn't encountered yet. He was furry and large, a good seven feet at least. He reminded Hunk of Sendak in a way, if the guys fur had been purple instead of a pastel green, Hunk would have mistaken him as Galra. He had one arm braced on the edge of a dilapidated ship and was using his superior height to tower over Lance.
As Hunk got closer he began to pick up the conversation.
"Well if you'd like to, you could head on inside with me and check out the rest of my...equipment." That sentence was punctuated with a skeevy sneer. Hunk shuddered. Lance would rip into the guy for talking to him like that.
"Wow that sounds awesome! All the stuff you have here is so complex, so I'm sure it'd go straight over my head, but I'd love to see it." What.
Hunk actually didn't breathe for a second. Was Lance stupid? The guy had literally just used the term "equipment" and Lance couldn't see anything wrong with it?
Green alien guy smirked, likely certain that his prey had taken the bait. Well not on Hunks watch.
"LANce buddy." He half shouted, physically placing his body between Lance and the green dude. "We gotta get going now. Shiros called us all back."
Lance pouted. "But Hunk, Alejxi was just going to show me some of his cool space stuff. He's a scavenger, isn't that amazing?" Was Lance insane? Did he actually want to sleep with the guy? Or was he being deliberately obtuse?
Well whatever the answer was, Hunk was putting the brakes on the situation immediately. "Sorry, but he says it's an emergency. No negotiating with that guy, you know?" Lance immediately perked up at the emergency, and turned to the green dude, who was looking quite put out about the possibility of loosing Lance.
"Sorry man, gotta do what the boss says." Then Lance pulls out the Puppy Dog Eyes. "I really did want to talk with you some more."
Like many before him, Alexji fell immediately to the power of the eyes. His glare softened and he looked less like he wanted to commit violence and more like he wanted to do Lances bidding.
"Well it's no problem. Some things just aren't meant to be, but if you're ever in port again, you know where to find me." Annnndddd there it was. If that wasn't a red flag, then Hunk was colorblind.
But Lance just smiled and waved goodbye, as if nothing was wrong, following Hunk back to the crowed streets.
As soon as they're an appropriate distance away from the salvage yard, Lance turns to him, concerned. "What's the emergency? Are we gonna have to form Voltron?"
Hunk is speechless. He doesn't get paid enough to deal with this crap. This disbelief manifests in a hand smacking against Lances head, giving a very satisfying smack and even more satisfying yelp.
"Dude, what the heck? What was that for?" Lance groaned, rubbing his head.
"There is no emergency. I made it up to get you away from that creepy guy." He explains. Seriously. Does not get paid enough.
"What Alexji? He wasn't creepy, just being friendly." He defends.
"Fr-friendly?" Hunk stutters in disbelief. "Dude he wanted you to see his 'equipment', he winked at you! That was full on creepy!"
Lance rolls his eyes as they re-enter the crowded market. "Whatever dude, you totally overreacted. You better make it up to me with tasty alien food."
Hunk sighs. So Lance is just oblivious. Whatever, it's not like it'll come up again. Besides, there can't be that many aliens that wanna jump Lances bones.
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The second time it happens, Pidge gets to witness Lance being hit on.
They're on the planet Kelea, home to the Keleians, who are a tall reptilian people, with blue skin decorated with darker spots. Admittedly, they're very pretty, and Pidge can appreciate their thin but muscular forms.
The planet of Kelea had, previous to today, been home to a small Galra contingent who's main job was to keep everyone in line until they could send a bigger force in to really conquer the planet.
Voltron made quick work of their base of communications, leaving it a still smoking dot on the jungle like landscape. The polite, yet grateful, mayor (?) king (?) of the Keleians was quick to offer them a bed for the night and dinner, which was quickly accepted.
The invitation hadn't included the information that "dinner" would actually be a party in their honor, and being loudly applauded as they walked into the room was a bit startling.
But hey, Pidge wasn't one to turn down free food, and the Keleians sure knew how to throw a party. It wasn't one like you would see on earth, way more formal. There was an actual toast in their honor.
Pidge wasn't usually one for parties, but this was turning out to be quite enjoyable. Kelea wasn't a very technologically advanced planet, which had been disappointing, but they had some pretty fascinating practices.
It was soon clear the the Keleians had other ways of sharing knowledge, they were a community based on storytelling. The more aged creatures would gather a circle of younger ones and begin telling a story. Pidge had listened to three so far that night, all gloriously told, Keith and Hunk listening as well. They had been sent away as soon as wine had begun flowing at the main table. Lance was probably somewhere chatting up the Keleian ladies (did they have ladies? Pidge couldn't tell.)
Almost as if summoned by thought, Pidge caught a glance of Lance being whisked away by two tall blue figures. Oh no. Allura would never forgive them if Lance ruined their chances at making another ally because Lance wanted to get laid. A quick glance around revealed that Keith and Hunk had been sucked into another story circle, they had obviously missed Lances exit. Well, guess it was up to Pidge to save future relations.
Lance and his companions hadn't gotten far. They were lounging on a bench in one of the many open gardens that peppered the castle grounds. The Keleian (Ladies? Men? Neither?) were leaning in close to Lance, one had their hand resting on his knee, while the other gently stroked Lances shoulder. Lance had snatched a glass of wine from somewhere and was sipping it with a dopey grin as the darker blue of the two engaged him in conversation.
Because Pidge didn't want to interrupt until bad decisions were being made, hiding behind a pillar was the best option. From here their conversation was easy to listen to and body language was easy to monitor.
"We must admit, your species is of great interest to us young Paladin." The darker blue one purred. Wow, creepy much?
"Ahhhh we're not that special. Not nearly as interesting as you guys anyways." Lance laughed. Oh gag, was Lance being serious?
"Oh no." The daintier light blue one said. "We know plenty about our own species, but we'd love to know more about how you humans...work."
Lance smiled at them. "Well since you guys are so into story telling, why don't we trade? You tell me some about you and I'll tell you some about me?"
The Keleians looked baffled, as if they also couldn't believe that Lance wasn't picking up their sexual vibes.
"Ahhh well of course." Okay so the Keleians were going to roll with it. Did they hope they could woo Lance with their storytelling mastery?
The ensuing story was fascinating really, but Pidge was distracted, because the Keleians were getting frighteningly close to Lance and- oh no where was that hand going.
"LANCE." Pidge yelled, popping out from behind the pillar. The Keleians jumped away guiltily, flushing a dark blue, but Lance just smiled, seriously how oblivious was this guy?
"What's up Pidge? Come to listen to the story." Ahhhh shit what was a good on the spot excuse?
"Ummm.... There was a book in the library that I wanted to read, but I couldn't reach it." Wow okay that definitely needed work.
Lance chuckled. "Poor Pidge. Maybe the green goo is stunting your growth?" Then he turned to the two Keleians. "Well I gotta go assist my teammate, maybe we can talk later?" The lizard like beings nodded hopefully. Well not on Pidge's watch.
They made it halfway back to the main ballroom before Lance spoke up. "So hey, where's this library? I didn't know they had one."
Pidge gave a rather dramatic eye roll. "Lance there is no library."
Lance spluttered. "But-but you said-"
"Lance," Pidge turned on one heel, stopping Lance in the middle of the hallway. "Did your parents ever give you the stranger danger talk?"
"What? Of course they did. Don't take candy from strangers and don't get into any cars with people you don't know." He shrugged.
"Well those rules still apply in space." Lance rolled his eyes.
"Pidge they weren't offering me candy or trying to lure me into their car."
Pidge leveled him with a glare. "Oh no. They were just offering you sex and trying to lure you into their bed. Lance you're completely helpless when it comes to romantic cues aren't you?"
Pidge walked away to the dying sounds of Lances stuttered denial. They would have to be keeping a close eye on Lance from now on out. For his own safety.
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The third time is happened, Keith was almost expecting it. Pidge and Hunk had gathered them all (minus Lance) together one night to explain Lances helplessness at romance, and his uncanny ability to be hit on.
That had been the night the "protect Lance from pervy aliens squad" had been formed. So Keith at least had a bit more of a heads up than the others did. But he still wasn't expecting this.
Coran had found evidence of an unblemished ocean planet on their radar, which was apparently quite pleasant and supposed to be uninhabited.
Key word "supposed".
Lance and Keith had been sent down to investigate a small island in deep oceans. Lance sent for his overwhelming excitement to see an ocean again, and Keith because someone had to keep Lance in line. And apparently, keep him from getting bad touched by a bunch of mermaids.
The mission had even started off bad. They had decided against taking two lions, and entering the atmosphere while holding onto a single hand hold while Lance recklessly piloted the blue lion was no ones idea of fun. Least of all Keith's.
Then, to make things worse they found a Cave. The kind of cave that white girls in horror movies died in, and coming from that cave? Eerie singing. This just spelled bad horror movie plot.
And of freaking course Lances first instinct was to go into the creepy cave. Because he was obviously crazy.
Then they found the mermaids.
Okay so they weren't actually mermaids, but Keith wasn't going to be able to think of them any other way. They had long shimmery tails and pointy teeth and talons on the ends of their slimy fingers, but they actually seemed friendly.
When they first crept into the cave and found the source of the singing the poor fish girl gave a breathless shriek and leapt back into the water. Eventually Lance coaxed her back to land with soft spoken promises, and she came. But she brought some friends with her.
Apparently they had been hiding undiscovered on this planet for decades. If the Galra didn't know there were people on the planet, then why enslave them? Keith began to chat with a silver haired woman who seemed to be their leader.
"You two are the first sentient beings we've seen is years." She said shyly. They all seemed a bit bashful. Maybe that was from not getting to talk to anyone outside their race for all those years. "Would you mind...telling me about the outside world some?"
"Of course. I'm Keith by the way, Lance is my companion over there." He explained, gesturing towards where Lance was already dramatically telling a story of some sort.
"They call me Shayla, it is a pleasure to meet you." She inclined her head in respect.
Soon Keith was completely sucked into their conversation, telling Shayla about the state of the universe. They discussed the Galra and their ever growing domain. He explained Voltron and their job in the galaxy, as well as a brief description of each of their team members.
Shayla was very much fascinated with his stories about space, and all the places they had visited. She hungrily gobbled up his explanations about other species and he eventually lost track of time in their discussion. Soon Keith had forgotten that he hadn't come alone. Which was a mistake.
From the other side of the cave there was a loud grinding noise. He jerked up in surprise but the noise seemed to be coming from one of the mermaids, in fact on closer inspection it seemed to be a happy sound.
Real happy from the looks of it. Lance had gathered a multicolored crowd around where he was dangling his feet into the pool in the middle of the cave. A few bold ones in particular were tugging on his hands, knees, and thighs. They all grinned and giggled and were just a bit too close for comfort. Shayla noticed his diverted attention and turned to look at the group.
"Oh dear. I'm sorry, I didn't realize." She apologized. Looking a bit upset.
Keith dragged his eyes away form Lance. "Sorry, what?"
Shayla gazed up at him with pupil-less silver eyes. "That he was your mate. They wouldn't have done it if they had known."
It was on the tip of his tongue to deny it, but Keith stopped himself. So they wouldn't make moves on someone who was already taken? That could work in his advantage.
"Ahhh yes...we mostly try to stay pretty subtle about it." Yeah that sounded plausible enough.
Shayla nodded seriously and turned to face the other mermaids across the pool. Then, she opened her mouth and made the most terrifying series of shrieks and growls at the group around Lance. They scattered immediately. It was actually kind of funny to watch them all simultaneously sink below the surface in one movement, and Lances baffled expression was pretty hilarious in itself.
"Ummm," He stared at the now vacant water in front of him in confusion. "was it something I said?"
Keith turned back to look at Shayla. "Thanks for that. He's always getting himself into some kind of trouble."
She gave a great toothy grin. "Of course. My mate is much the same. I'll let you take him back up into your ship now, but know that you and your people will always be welcome here." Then, as quietly as she came, she was gone, falling into shadows in the murky water.
"Ohhhhhh somebody's got a crush." Lance singsonged. Keith rolled his eyes.
"Yeah whatever man. Let's get out of here, I'll bet everyone's freaking out by now." The trip back to Blue was quick, but Lance sang a love song most of the way, until Keith pushed him into the surf.
So it turns out Pidge and Hunk were right. Lance was actually hopeless at romance. Well whatever, that just meant that Keith would be keeping a close eye on his teammate.
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The fourth time it happened, Shiro was prepared. Keith's story had been met with much exasperation and no small amount of laughter, and Shiro was sure he was capable of fending off anyone vying for Lances attention.
Well anyone except a very married queen and her wife.
Everything started out innocently enough. It was actually quite a sticky political situation in fact. The sister planets of Crane and Rane were undergoing serious political trouble that needed intervention from princess Allura.
The matter of the fact was that Crane and Rane had very valuable mineral deposits. It would be huge if the Galra empire could gain that wealth, but Rane and Crane also had a strong military presence so it wouldn't be an easy conquest, but war could be devastating to these planets. So the royal council of Crane wanted to hand the planet into the leadership of the Galra, but Rane didn't want to share an orbit with a Galra stronghold.
So, in short, the political situation was shit. Rane was threatening to forcibly stop Crane from handing their planet over to the Galra, and the princess hoped she could persuade everyone out of making bad choices and gain two new allies in the process. It should be a win win situation. Allura and Hunk stationed themselves on Crane to try and dissuade the planet from giving in to the demands of the Galra. Shiro, Lance, and Coran went to Rane to try and talk the queen there out of violence. Pidge and Keith stayed begin on the ship to protect the lions.
Shiro knew something was wrong from the start. When the meetings had taken place Queen Dianke and her consort, Lady Reanne, showed far to much interest in Lance than was strictly necessary. Lance and Shiro had been introduced as Coran's bodyguards, and they seemed to be paying more attention to Lance than Shiro and Coran combined.
His second clue was the seating at dinner. They were situated on a long table looking out over Rane's great hall. The queen took the seat at the head of the table, her consort to her right and Lance to her left. Out of a "show of respect" Coran was placed on the other end of the table with Shiro to his right. So during dinner Shiro was unable to even hear Lance, or clearly see if all that touching was also happening under the table.
Then came the truly torturous part. Cocktail hour. Too much alcohol and small talk never ended well, and between fielding conversations and keeping an eye on Coran he had lost Lance in the crowd.
Speaking of the crowd, perhaps all of Rane's inhabitants were that forward. Shiro kept getting pinched and prodded by politicians everywhere he stepped. If the subjects were that forward under the influence of alcohol, how would the queen be?
Eventually Shiro did track down Lance. He was lounging on a long couch, smushed between Dianke and Reanne, with a glass of brightly colored liquid in his hands. The queen and consort weren't explicitly doing anything to Lance at that moment, but the way they cornered him into their bodies was a blatant show of ownership. Shiro caught the eye of the queen for just a moment, she winked as if challenging him to do something. Shirts blood simmered and he could hear the gears grind in the mechanical arm. Oh he would do something alright. And it would be as polite and politically correct as it could possibly be.
Coran was easy to find in the crowd as well, being quite a bit taller than the rest of its inhabitants. He was sipping a neon green drink and laughing at the appropriate times at a story one of the councilors was telling.
Next to Coran at the bar, was a bottle of dark purple liquid. Coran had turned it down during dinner, stating that even a sip would make an Altean horribly ill, and he didn't know what it might do to a human digestive system. It was the perfect prop for Shiro's plan.
He tapped Coran shoulder gently and pried the green cup away, the Altean barely gave him a notice, not even when the cup was returned, slightly darker in color than before. Now all that he had to do was wait.
Shiro could almost see the moment of horrified realization spread across Coran's face, and the accusing glare thrown his way. He tried to pull his most innocent face when he grabbed Coran by the arm.
"You aren't looking so well, maybe we'll get Lance to take you back to the ship. I'll just have to stay and parley with the queen."
"You-" Coran cut off with a gagging noise, turning a nasty shade of green.
Shiro took a bit of vindictive pleasure from pulling Lance away from the queen. She pulled a sour look and quickly drained a glass of wine. Lance looked a bit put out from being dragged away as well, and confronted Shiro as soon as they left the hall.
"C'mon Shiro, I was making real progress with those guys. They might be willing to change their stance." He pleaded, blinking up at Shiro with big, watery eyes. Shiro's eyes rolled skyward in annoyance.
"And as important as politics are today, I think your preserved innocence is what we need to focus on."
Lance groaned. "Not you too! Hunk and Pidge have been hounding on me about that forever. Can't people just be friendly?"
"Oh they were being friendly alright. Friendly in the way that they wanted to eat you alive." Lance made a sad protesting noise, but Shiro shoved Coran at him instead.
"Take him to the ship, tell Allura to come down to Rane tomorrow to help me work on the queen. And in the name of all that is holy, don't get seduced by any aliens on the way there." Then he spun and left Lance and Coran to their own devices. There was a loud gagging sound from behind him and Shiro cringed. Well, it was a good punishment for being so oblivious.
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Allura wasn't quite sure if she believed the stories the others told her about Lances apparent ineptitude at romance.
Couldn't he take what he so often dished out? It seemed a bit silly to her, but the team seemed concerned about it, so she promised to keep an eye out for any suspicious activity.
She just never imagined she'd see any. That made witnessing it all the more jarring.
It all started when the Council of Free People convened on the castle of lions. The Council had been present 10,000 years ago, and they were still just as annoying. Even though the original members were gone, their descendants were just as stuck up and pompous as they had been.
The Council was Voltron's ticket to the skies. They represented the planets that had not yet fallen to the Galra empire. They controlled airspace on the free planets, and if Voltron wanted to be more than a crusading vigilante, they needed the approval of the council.
So Allura graciously offered to host the council on the ship, meetings like this were often held in Altea and it would be a gesture of good faith to being strangers into their sanctum. The Paladins were....less than enthused.
But for humans who were upset about having strangers in their space, they were being surprisingly diplomatic. Lance, Keith, and Hunk were working the floor, greeting guests and igniting conversations. Pidge was monitoring the arrival of each ship as it landed on the abandoned planet they were borrowing. Shiro was with Coran, greeting Council members at the door.
Soon the great hall was full of some of the worlds harshest, and richest, negotiators. The actual meeting itself was hell. There was always someone who said no, always a reason not to. They were either being too reckless or too safe. It took an hour to decide on the simplest things. It was awful, and Allura only made it three hours in before she suggested a quick intermission.
Coran, wonderful and amazing Coran, guided the council members to the dining area, and Allura took off down a darkened hallway. There was no way she could handle small talk with these people.
She took a moment to get her bearings in the control room, it was off limits to guests of course, and it held a feeling of safety that much of the castle didn't. She could even recall memories of her father and his generals convening in this very room, when she had been much younger she had taken much joy in watching them playfully bicker with each other, blind to the struggles they fought about.
After she had caught her breath, Allura began to form a plan. In a way it was similar to the battle plans they discussed in the control room, but hopefully this plan would yield no blood shed. Or at least, very little blood shed.
She exited feeling confident, perhaps with the right timing and no small amount of tact, they could convince the council to let them use safe airspace.
However as she was making her way back to the main hall, she caught sight of a most peculiar thing. Disappearing down the hall to left was Lance. He was mid conversation with someone that Allura hadn't caught a glimpse of, and they seemed to be heading deeper into the ship. Allura hadn't recognized the other voice at all, so it was unlikely that it was another Paladin. Was Lance leading a stranger into their inner sanctum? They certainly didn't need another episode like what had happened with Nyma.
Allura followed behind at a safe distance. Lance and his companion seemed to be making their way to the observation deck, which wasn't exactly a key to the lion hanger, but it was uncomfortably close to their domestic area. His companion was so far unidentifiable, whoever they were, they were tall. That didn't quite help narrow the search, many of the quests tonight were taller than the average human, and Allura had given herself a few inches to be on par with them.
When they finally arrived at the observation deck Allura hung back at the door while Lance and his friend each took seats on the window ledge. In this light Allura could finally make out who Lance was with.
Four extra arms that Allura hadn't noticed before uncurled from behind the figure. An elongated face and extra set of eyes were the next clue. This was councilman Gendar, of what planet he hailed from, Allura had no idea, but he had been an adamant supporter of shutting down Voltron all together. There was no way he wanted Lance for anything good.
But Lance was oblivious, babbling on about the stars and the other Paladins. Councilman Gendar stayed a respectful distance away, but was exhibiting.....other displays of interest. Allura knew from experience that humans didn't pick up on biological signals, but Gendar was releasing enough pheromones that Lance had to be able to smell it.
Gendar's species must be one of the ones with a biological social system, he was broadcasting blatant interest in Lance, and Lance was none the wiser. Then Lance turned his head to face the window, tilting his face slightly, exposing his neck in the process.
That was a mistake, Gendar let a pleased smile spread across his face, leaning in closer to Lances exposed neck, likely with the intention to bite.
Allura was moving before she could register it, stepping out into the room and raising her own height just a bit more, so she and Gendar were on equal terms.
"I'm sorry to interrupt your discussion, but this part of the castle is off limits." Allura gritted out.
Lance pouted at Allura. "Awwwwww c'mon princess. We weren't doing anything wrong."
Allura groaned inwardly. Was Lance being stupid on purpose? Did he really see nothing wrong with the situation?
"I'm afraid that doesn't matter. Why don't I escort Councilman Gendar back to the party and you can go to the kitchen and help Hunk prepare some snacks."
Lance groaned. "Yeah okay princess. Talk to you later Councilman Gendar!"
Once Lance was out of earshot, Allura turned on the Councilman. "You will not talk to him later. In fact, if you go within arms length of him again, I will not hesitate to bring the combined force of the paladins of Voltron down upon you. Do I make myself clear?"
Gendar cleared his throat awkwardly. "Yes, of course princess."
Allura gave a sharp nod. "Good I'm glad we understand each other. Now, I think it's time we head back and rejoin the group." She said, turning on her heel to head back to the hall.
She would have to keep a close eye on the rest of the council members. It simply wouldn't do for a paladin to get hurt because of a misunderstanding.
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+1
Of all the places Lance imagined himself seeing while he was in space, prison was not one of them. In fact, up until a few months ago, he hadn't even known that space prisons were a thing that existed. Now here he was, locked up all alone in a dingy cell on a wasteland of a planet.
Well, not quite all alone. The other Paladins all had their own cells nearby, so that was a small comfort.
It had started off as an easy mission. They just had to fly in, get some intel, and get the hell out of dodge. Coran was likely waiting for them now, orbiting the planet in increasing confusion and worry.
The planet of Lgys was a rocky waste land. Nothing grew on the surface because of the high winds and hostile atmosphere. However, the Galra had found wealth beneath the earth. A mining operation had enslaved the few indigenous peoples there and were and was sucking the planet dry of their resources.
Team Voltron was planning a rescue, of course, but first they needed intel of what the base and surrounding areas were like. They had carefully landed their lions in a cave in terrible flying conditions and split up to sneak around the base.
Of all people, Shiro and Keith were discovered first. Lance didn't know how, but by the time he and Pidge were dragged in, they were already chained up and in cells. Shortly after that, Hunk and Allura joined them, and the rest was history.
"It's going to take them a while to get in contact with central command, and even longer for a fleet can get here. We have time to escape." Shoot assured.
"But they took all of our weapons and our armor. We can't do anything without those." Pidge pointed out.
"Well right now we all need to shit up, because I'm pretty sure I can hear a guard coming." Keith hissed.
Sure enough there were footsteps approaching the dusty prison cells. Through the one exit came a galran guard. He bore trays of food and water. Ah, so they would be getting the VIP treatment after all.
The guard shoved plates through slots in the bars roughly. Finally, he reached Lance, last in the line of cells. He gingerly set down the food and water and smirked down at Lance.
"You need anything, let me know." He said with a wink.
"How about you let us out of here."
The guard snorted. "Sorry doll, not gonna happen." He then went on his way, sauntering through the door and closing it soundly behind him.
There was silence in the wake of his exit, from Lance because he was eating, and from everyone else because they were staring dumbfounded at Lance.
"You don't think-"
"Well, it couldn't hurt."
"Maybe if he-"
"Are you sure-"
Whispers erupted among the other Paladins. Lance sure didn't know it, but he might just be their way out.
"Lance." Shiro's strong voice cut through Lances food induced haze. "I know how we're getting out of here"
"Whoa really? How?" Lance asked, wide eyed.
Shirt grinned. "You just need to do what you do best."
--
"So uh. Do you like mining?" Lance asked, aiming for nonchalant and missing horribly.
"Oh definitely not. It's gross and dirty and it's so tedious to get dust out of my ears." The guard, Jayzak responded.
Lance nodded serenely. "I get you man. Once we went to a planet that was like all mud and it took me almost a week to get it all out of my hair."
"Imagine that, but all over your body, that's what having fur is like."
Keith was going to implode. Jayzak was a few feet away from him, no close enough to grab his keys and their freedom.
"I have this great mud mask that detoxifies and balances my ph levels-"
And then there was Lance. Who flirted by talking about the ph levels of their skin? Lance apparently.
Keith couldn't argue with the results though. As Lance edged closer to Keith's cell, so did the guard. Lance had caught his prey and was luring him in.
"We have these amazing steam showers in the castle. They really do wonders for me, and they're so relaxing."
Yes. He was finally close enough, and now Keith had his keys.
Jayzak leered at him. "I wish I could've joined you sometime."
"Well bud you're just going to have to keep wishing." Keith said, bringing his plate down hard on the guards head, sending him crumbling to the ground.
Barf. What a terrible pickup line.
--
"So the moral of this story is that Lance isn't allowed out without a buddy, but his skills can come in handy sometimes." Hunk finished proudly.
Coran looked stunned. "Perhaps we should just send Lance to woo his way straight to Zarkon."
Shirt choked on his food good and Pidge fell to the ground in laughter at Lances horrified look.
Keith patted him on the back consolingly. "Don't worry man, if it's any help, I'm pretty sure at least Zarkon doesn't want to fuck you."
Lances face was enough to send the team into hysterics and Keith couldn't help but grin. Looks like they'd have to keep an eye on Lance a little longer, but at least he was learning.