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2017-10-15
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meaningful

Summary:

Lance learns from Matt that Keith nearly sacrificed himself to save everyone... Lance reacts as one might expect.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

They were all back in the Castle now, still reeling from what had almost transpired. A bomb? That could wipe out ten solar systems? Their whole Coalition? How could something like that have slipped their notice?

What else could the Galra be hiding?

Matt was exhausted. Between fighting the Galra, almost getting blown to bits by a cannon, and watching Keith attempt a suicidal run to bring down the shield, he wanted nothing more than to find Pidge, make sure she was okay, and then just... sleep. The logical part of his brain was telling him that they were all in over their heads and that he should grab Pidge and just go home. But with the knowledge of the Galra Empire's existence, that wasn't an option.

Pidge's tour had been brief, and he had focused more on just keeping up with her. Now, of course, he was wandering the halls, looking for the lounge or Pidge's room, or even just one of the others. Following the battle, everything had been a blur... and Lotor had surely complicated things. That would be another problem, another rogue element on the battlefield.

He took a left, hoping that he was going in the right direction, and was rewarded with the sight of Lance heading in the same direction. The Blue (Red?) Paladin looked just as tired as Matt felt with his shoulders slightly slouched and helmet tucked under his arm.

"Hey, Lance!" Matt called, catching his attention.

"Oh, hey, Matt," Lance said. He turned to face Matt. "I haven't seen Pidge anywhere."

"Could you help me look for her? This Castle is huge!"

"Yeah, sure. She's probably just checking up on Green or something."

They walked in silence, and for whatever reason, Matt could feel this... tension radiating off of Lance. Matt had been with the rebels for a while, had seen his far share of battles, but this just wasn't a lack of adrenaline. He couldn't say he knew Lance well, but something was wrong.

"Is everything okay?" Matt asked, finally broaching the silence.

Lance looked to him, almost seeming startled. But then he seemed to settle and let out a breath of air. "You... you were with Keith, right? At the end of all that?"

"Yeah," Matt said, not entirely sure where Lance was going with this. He was pretty sure that he couldn't have stopped Keith from doing what he was going to do.

"How was he planning to take out that shield?" Lance asked. It was almost a murmur, as if he were still simply thinking to himself.

That's right. Team Voltron wouldn't have known... they weren't there, still trying to reach the fleet in time. All they knew that Keith was planning to do something, and they thought he had succeeded, right up until Lotor revealed himself.

"He was going to crash his fighter into the shield. Our weapons weren't work-"

"-Keith was going to do what?" Lance interjected. "He was going to- he was going to sacrifice himself? Without saying goodbye?"

"Yeah, I tried to stop him, but-"

Lance scoffed. "Believe me, I know. How could he? Does he not know how important he is to us? How much we need him?" Then, more quietly, "How much I need him?"

Matt then understood the tension that had been radiating from Lance. Keith was clearly more than just a teammate to Lance. Maybe just a friend, but maybe something more.

"You should probably tell him that," Matt suggested.

Lance went still.

"I probably should."

And with that, he was running, no, sprinting away, leaving Matt to realize that he still didn't know how to find Pidge in the monstrosity of a castle that she lived in.

+++

Lance could feel the pounding of his heart in his ears as he ran. He had to tell Keith just how important to him he was, just how important he was to the team, just how much more his life was worth than a cheap, futile shot against an evil witch and her magic.

He had to tell Keith exactly how he felt before Keith did something else impulsive and rash.

And then he needed to get Keith away from the Blades, who probably only encouraged this insane behavior.

Out of habit, Lance first checked the training deck, expecting Keith to be laying waste to training dummy after training dummy. Even after the toughest of fights, Keith still trained. That level of dedication, while somewhat intimidating, was also impressive, and Lance had to give Keith credit for pushing himself like that.

Keith was not to be found on the training deck, and for that, Lance was relieved. After a battle like that where Keith almost made (and would have made, if not for Lotor) an irreversible decision was the perfect time for him to maybe just be sitting in his room and contemplating his own morality for a while.

Lance then went to Keith's room and knocked on his door. He heard a brief, but gruff, "Come in," before he all but rammed down the door.

Keith was sitting on his bed with the damned blade in his hands. If Keith had been with Voltron, he wouldn't have been put in that position where he felt he needed to sacrifice himself just to save everyone else. None of them, especially Lance, would have allowed that to happen.

Before Lance could think the better of it, he was sitting down besides Keith and throwing his arms around him, clinging to him as though he could simply disappear.

Keith stiffened, and that was enough for Lance to realize that he had likely overstepped his bounds. He pulled away, albeit grudgingly, and looked Keith in the eyes.

"Matt told me," Lance said, explaining his presence in just three words.

Keith's eyes widened, and then he was breaking eye contact from Lance. "I did what I thought I had to do."

"What you had to do?" Lance exclaimed. "Keith! You weren't in Red! You were in a pea-shooter of a Galra fighter! You wouldn't have been able to take out that shield!" Lance felt the tears prickling at his eyes, but he felt no need to restrain them. "You would have died!"

Lance knew that he was practically full-on sobbing now, but he didn't care. If Keith could try to blow himself up, he could deal with the waterworks.

"Lance, I-"

"Were you even planning on saying goodbye? Or were you just going to let us show up and discover that you were dead?"

"There wasn't time. I needed to stop Haggar, the whole Coalition was in danger, everyone was in danger. I knew that I would be the most valuable if-"

"-If you were dead? That's bullshit, Keith, and you know it," Lance said. He took a deep breath and tried to stabilize himself. "Listen, you are so important to this team, we couldn't do it without you, and-"

"You were doing just fine without me! Shiro was in charge, and everything was fine!"

"I wasn't fine!"

A quietness fell over them, and they were left staring at each other. Lance was still crying, and his tears spilled onto his Paladin armor. Breaking the eye contact, Keith shoved his knife under his pillow and then returned his attention fully back to Lance.

"I need you, Keith. We haven't always gotten along, and I'll admit a lot of that was my fault, but you are so, so important to me. I want to say that we've become friends, at least, and you actually listen to me, you know? And you make me laugh, and look, you're so talented. And at the end of the day, you're one of the only things that has made space feel like home, and Keith," Lance took Keith's hands then, "I couldn't still be in Voltron if not for you. I wouldn't."

"Lance-"

"I love you, Keith, and I need you to know that before you go off thinking that your life isn't valuable. Because it is."

A moment passed, and Keith said nothing. Still, he didn't pull his hands away, and Lance could only hope that he hadn't just destroyed one of the best friendships he'd ever had.

"You were part of the reason I left."

"W-what?" Lance asked, feeling rejected and stung. He must have been wrong; they weren't friends. He went to pull his hands away, but Keith only held them more tightly.

"You came to me and told me about how you were worried about your position on the team. I thought that if I wasn't around-"

Lance was shocked. Keith would willingly give up his position as a Paladin, just because Lance had expressed some insecurity about his place on the team?

"Lance, you're needed on Voltron. You're like the glue that holds all of us together. You're our sharpshooter, and you're really tactical, right? In ways that I could never be, either. I couldn't have been the Black Paladin without you. You were supporting me and helping me and you were my impulse control. And- and I love you, too, Lance."

With that, Keith pulled Lance closer, and their lips met. It was soft, delicate, and the slightest bit tentative, searching. Neither of them, despite their harbored feelings, had expected to be in this position, at least not today. Keith's hands were warm in Lance's, and if he was still crying, it wasn't for the same reason.

Lance pulled away, just enough so that he could look Keith in his eyes. "Promise me you won't try to crash another fighter into a magic shield?"

Keith rolled his eyes and said "I promise" before pulling Lance into another kiss.

Notes:

Season 4 was something else, wasn't it?

Kudos and/or comments appreciated!