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Here's Madi's take on it: Finn Collins does not seem like a particularly good boyfriend.
Which, okay, he's not, like her boyfriend, so in some sense it doesn't matter. But he is Clarke's boyfriend, and anyone Clarke is dating is automatically Madi's business. And Finn is, well, not really ideal.
"No?" Bellamy asks, sounding amused.
"Definitely not."
"What's wrong with him?"
"Do you like him?"
"I don't have opinions on Clarke's dating life," he says, which would be an obvious pile of bullshit even if he didn't sound like he'd rehearsed the statement. Like--he's got to have an opinion on that. Bellamy has opinions on everything.
"Okay, again, but true this time."
He cracks a smile. "Clarke and I agreed that I don't have opinions on her dating life."
"Because of Finn?"
"Because it's none of my business."
That doesn't seem any truer to Madi. Bellamy is Clarke's business partner, which maybe sort of means that her personal life doesn't concern him, but they're also best friends. And best friends are definitely allowed to care about friends' dating lives.
"So, because of Finn."
Bellamy sighs. "No, because of Lexa."
Madi perks up. "Her ex-girlfriend?"
"We're not gossiping about this," he says, firm. "I'm just telling you what Clarke told me: she's an adult who makes her own dating decisions. That was true when she was dating Lexa, it was true when she was dating Niylah, and it's true now. I don't get a vote."
"But you do have an opinion."
"My opinion is that if Clarke's happy, I'm happy."
"Do you think I get to have an opinion?"
She can actually see him wavering. "You do," he finally says. "But it's just an opinion. I'm sure Clarke wants to know if you don't like Finn, but--you don't have veto power over her relationships."
"I know that."
"I know you do."
She feels her mouth twitch. "I know that you know that I know that you know," she teases, and he grins.
"Exactly." Then he sobers, because that's, like, his thing. Bellamy Blake: totally incapable of joking around for more than five seconds before he reverts to being a big brother. "Look, if you really think--if you're worried about Finn, you should tell her. Or me, if you don't feel comfortable talking to her."
"It's not, like--I don't think he's going to hurt me or anything. I don't think he's dangerous. Just--not good for Clarke."
He nods. "So you don't want to talk to her about it because you know you don't have a leg to stand on."
"I wanted to like him," she protests. "I really did."
Bellamy considers her. He's been a fact of Madi's life for as long as Clarke has, and it's normal for her to hang out with him when Clarke isn't around. A lot of her friends think that fourteen is old enough to be left home alone, and that spending time with their parents or parental figures is a chore, but Madi likes that Clarke always makes sure she has access to a grownup if she needs one.
Besides, they do pay her to work at the bookstore. It's just slow right now.
"Okay, so--you need to tell me how big a deal this is for you," he finally says. "And how seriously I should take it."
"He's the first person she's dated since she started fostering me. I don't want it to just be, like--I don't want her to think I don't like her dating, because I don't care."
"Yeah, I get that. So--you wanted to like him?"
"Of course I did. It was a nice story, you know? Like--they dated in college and lost touch and now he's back and wants a second chance with her. It should be cute."
"Yeah, cute."
His tone is sharp, but Madi doesn't want to push. If he notices he's scowling a little, he'll probably try to hide it again. He seems like he's being honest right now, and she wants to see how long it will last. Bellamy was there, the first time Clarke dated Finn. If there's something to dislike about him, Bellamy knows it.
"It's should be like a classic romance. But--he's just so nothing. It's not like Persuasion or whatever. He's not some awesome romantic hero. He's just this guy. I can see why she broke up with him the first time."
"Most people aren't romantic heroes," he says. "A lot of people are just people."
"But he's a boring person," she says, and he laughs.
"It's hard to tell how relationships are from the outside. He might just be nervous around you."
"So, you think he's good? And don't say you don't have an opinion!" she adds, when he opens his mouth. "I'm asking because I need someone else to be objective about this. Do you think I'm being unfair?"
She can see him fighting with himself, which is really an answer all by itself. If he thought she was wrong, he'd just say it.
"I think you should talk to Clarke. Maybe you just need to get to know him."
"Bellamy."
"I don't know him that well either. We never hung out that much. He's not my favorite person," he finally admits. "But if Clarke is happy, I'm happy for her."
"I don't think she's happy," Madi admits. "Not, like--not like she should be."
"Then, yeah, you should talk to her. You don't have to be right for it to be worth talking to her. But--maybe try to get to know him first. It hasn't been that long. Maybe he'll get better."
"I don't know what you're telling me to do," she says, slightly petulant.
"Yeah, I don't know either. Whatever you want, I guess. It's hard to really give feedback on someone else's relationship."
"I can just wait for that part in the wedding ceremony where the priest asks if anyone thinks they shouldn't get married, and then I object, right?"
"They've been going out for, what, two months?" he asks. "They're not getting married."
"Yeah, but if they were."
Bellamy's jaw works, and Madi feels a vindictive stab of triumph. He totally doesn't want Clarke to marry Finn either. He's on her side.
"You should tell her when she gets engaged if you still have concerns," he finally says. "Weddings are expensive. If you think she shouldn't get married, tell her before the wedding. But just because they're dating doesn't mean they're getting married."
"And you don't want them to."
"If she'll be happy marrying Finn, then I want her to marry Finn," he says. Maybe he has rehearsed this. He's sure hitting the same beats a lot.
"But you don't think he does. Make her happy."
"I think she knows better than we do." He gives her a gentle shove. "Go restock."
"We haven't sold anything. There's nothing to restock."
"Go anyway."
She hops off the counter and heads to the stacks, throwing a grin over her shoulder. "Don't worry, I won't tell Clarke you don't like her boyfriend."
"Thanks," he says. "Brat."
"Any time."
*
Madi would really like if Finn screwed up in some huge way, which does make her feel kind of shitty. Because she knows Bellamy is right, on a base level. There's nothing wrong with Finn, exactly. The worst she can say about him is that he's boring and he doesn't really seem to get Clarke, but she doesn't really know what they're like alone. He might just be awkward with kids. Not everyone can be Bellamy.
But Finn just feels--lackluster. He doesn't fit into Clarke's life and conversations. It's not just Madi, either; he's always awkward when he's at the store, doesn't know how to talk to Bellamy or Clarke's other friends. And he doesn't see them very often, which is worrying too. She hasn't had a significant other of her own yet, but she's seen her friends who get boyfriends do something similar, where they just stop talking to her.
Of course, they're in ninth grade, so the "relationships" last about two weeks, but still. It seems like the kind of thing people should outgrow. And it's not like Clarke is abandoning everyone else. But it feels oddly like there's a Finn part of Clarke's life and an Other part of her life. And it's possible Madi doesn't feel like she fits in the Finn part.
She doesn't think that's the whole issue, but it's probably the best place to start with Clarke. She's not going to tell her to dump Finn outright, but if she's not going to dump him, then Madi should feel like she knows where she belongs in the relationship. If they're going to be together, Madi is a part of the package deal. Clarke's always been clear about that, even before she started having relationships.
But Clarke is still keeping fairly quiet about the whole thing to Madi, so she starts the conversation with, "Are you still dating Finn?"
Clarke looks amused. "Am I still dating Finn?"
"Just checking."
"Yes, I'm still dating Finn. Do you want to tell me to stop?"
She frowns; her tone has turned serious, more so than Madi would have expected. "Did Bellamy talk to you?"
"Not in detail. He said you were asking about Finn and I might want to talk to you about it."
"We decided I don't know him very well."
Clarke's mouth twitches. "Which one of you decided that?"
"It was a group effort."
The amusement slides off Clarke's face slowly, and she looks at Madi with concern. Even though she hasn't done anything wrong, that kind of attention makes her feel as if she has. "I'm glad you have Bellamy to talk to," she says, carefully. "But--I want to make sure you know you don't have to talk to him about this stuff first. You can always--"
"I know," she says, trying not to roll her eyes. It's a concern that comes from a good place. "I wanted to make sure I was being fair. Before I talked to you."
"So you decided to ask Bellamy?"
The dubious tone of her voice gives Madi pause. Clarke clearly does not think that Bellamy is, in any way, a good person to assess whether or not her feelings about Finn are fair.
"You knew him the first time you dated Finn, right?" she asks. "Bellamy."
Clarke nods. "Yeah. And he didn't like him."
"Which one?"
"It was mutual." She sighs. "People I date tend to not like Bellamy. He's intimidating. And Finn--he was a dick, the first time we went out. It didn't end well. Bellamy and I had a fight when he found out I was giving him another chance."
"He didn't say that. He said it wasn't his business."
"That's what I told him, yeah."
"If he was a dick, why are you giving him another chance?" Madi asks, curious.
She thinks it over carefully. "Because we were in college. We've all grown up a lot since then. I told him he only gets one chance, but--it was good with him, before he screwed up. So if he's different, it could be good again."
"Is it?" When she hesitates, Madi presses forward. "It doesn't look good to me. That's what I was asking Bellamy. If he thought you were happy."
"Does he?"
"You should ask him."
Clarke smiles. "You're right, I should. I'm not trying to get you to talk to Bellamy for me. I was just--curious." She sighs. "I don't know if Finn and I have a future. It's not bad, but--it's hard to get past what he did, and it has to be worth it."
"What did he do?"
Clarke seems to be thinking it over, but she finally sighs and admits, "He cheated on me."
"Wow. No wonder Bellamy was pissed you gave him another chance."
"We all fuck up. He was sorry, he was here, I don't have a lot of other prospects."
"Those aren't good reasons to date someone," Madi points out. "You told me I should just date people I really like. If you're just dating him because he's around--"
"So, you think I should break up with him." She sounds amused, at least, not upset.
"Bellamy kept saying if you were happy he was happy for you," she says. "And I feel the same way. But if you're not happy, what's the point of dating him?"
"I know I told you that you shouldn't date someone unless you're sure, but that's more--sometimes it's okay to date someone you're not sure about to see if you like them like that. You shouldn't date someone you don't want to date, but you can date someone you might want to date."
"Yeah, but come on. You can do better."
Clarke laughs. "I might be able to, yeah. It's not serious yet, okay? I'm just giving him a chance."
"I still think you can do better."
"Acknowledged. But once you're an adult living in a small town, you realize you don't have a ton of dating options. I'm not saying I'm going to marry him," she adds, quick. "I'm not even sure I'm going to date him much longer. But I'm giving it a try."
"I want you to be happy too," Madi finally settles on, and Clarke hugs her around the shoulders.
“That’s the cool part. I’m already happy. You and Bellamy don’t have to worry about that.”
“Have you met Bellamy? He always worries.”
Clarke smiles. “Yeah, okay. You don’t have to worry more than usual.”
“I’ll try,” she promises. “But—you can be happy without Finn.”
"I know," she says. “Trust me, I know.”
*
Madi had never really thought about Clarke’s dating prospects before, but it does kind of make sense that they’re not great. Clarke and Bellamy went to college in Arcadia and hated the old campus bookstore, so once they both graduated, they decided to work together to start a new one. Clarke has dated people, but Madi knows that there aren’t a lot of twenty- and thirty-something people around, and Finn coming back probably felt like a really lucky break.
But he can’t be the only person Clarke could date.
“Are any of our teachers single?” she asks Charlotte and Monroe. Clarke and Finn haven’t actually broken up yet, but maybe if Clarke had other options, she’d dump him. Madi's just giving her some options.
“I think Mr. Jordan is.”
Madi makes a face. “I don’t want her dating Mr. Jordan.”
“And I heard him talking to Mr. Green,” Monroe pipes up. “He has a girlfriend now.”
“Clarke has a boyfriend now, that’s not stopping Madi from setting her up.”
“I’m not going to break up Mr. Jordan and his girlfriend, I don’t know them.”
“What about Mr. Green?” asks Charlotte. "He's cool."
“He’s dating Bellamy’s friend Miller.” It was very weird that one time they came over to Clarke’s for game night, but according to Bellamy, they're happy. "I'm not even sure he likes women."
“What about Bellamy?” Monroe asks.
Madi blinks, confused. "Bellamy?”
“Does he have a girlfriend?”
“He’s bi too, he could have a boyfriend,” she says, automatic. Her brain still hasn't quite caught up. “But no, he’s not dating anybody.”
“I always thought he and Clarke were married,” Charlotte offers. “Until I met you.”
“Why?”
She shrugs. “Because they were always together. When I went to the bookstore and stuff. I guess I just assumed. So she has to know she could date him. Right?”
It does seem impossible that Clarke and Bellamy haven’t thought about dating. But Madi never thought about it, and it does feel obvious now. Maybe people can get into the habit of being friends. And Bellamy was dating Gina up until last year, and Clarke’s had girlfriends too. Maybe they never figured out the timing.
“What if she doesn’t?” Monroe asks. “Madi could ask.”
“Yeah," she agrees. "I could ask."
*
“Are you in love with Clarke?”
If she didn't know Bellamy so well, she'd probably miss his reaction entirely. His shoulders tense a little, his back going stiff, but just for a second.
"Is this about Finn?" he asks.
"Only kind of. I think she's going to break up with him," she adds, and Bellamy raises his eyebrows.
"Yeah?"
"She doesn't like him that much, and I don't like him that much, and you don't like him either, so why would she keep dating him?"
"Yeah, that does sound like a reason for her to dump him." His jaw works. "What does any of this have to do with me, exactly?"
Madi had a plan for this. "Clarke was talking about how there aren't a lot of people to date here. But you're a person she could date. If you guys wanted to."
"Yeah, that's true."
"So, are you in love with her?"
The thing about Bellamy is that he doesn't really lie, not if he can help it. He tries to talk around things he doesn't want to admit, and if he tries to talk around being in love with Clarke, he's probably in love with Clarke.
"I'm not sure where you got that," he finally says, and Madi doesn't let herself grin.
He really is too easy sometimes.
"I just didn't think you guys could do what she and Finn are doing."
"Date?"
"Clarke's getting to know him. She already knows you."
"And she's already not dating me, so I think I'm not in her dating pool."
"But she's in yours."
"I'm not dating her either."
"Bellamy."
He sighs. "I get it, okay? Me and Clarke are another romantic story for you. More romantic than she and Finn are. But doesn't work like that."
"I'm just asking. I'm not going to tell her."
"Yeah, if there's one thing I'm learning it's that you're not at all invested in Clarke's love life." But he sighs. "Look, honestly? I've thought about it. Of course I have. She's my best friend. And it would be--" He clears his throat. "It would be nice, if she felt that way about me. Convenient."
"Convenient?" Madi demands. "You can do better than that, come on."
"That's what I meant. It's a good story, and it's easy. But that's not how it works. You can't use logic to make people fall in love how you want them to."
"You still haven't actually answered my question. Just say you aren't in love with Clarke and I'll shut up."
"Yeah, I don't believe that for a second."
"It would be so easy for you to find out," she points out, and he still hesitates. It's the best thing that's happened to her in weeks.
"I'm not," he finally says.
"Not what?"
"Jesus, I knew that wasn't going to work. Just go find some work to do, okay? We're done with this conversation."
She does as she's told, but she finds something to do close enough to him that she can say, "I don't just think it's a good story."
He glances back at her. "Huh?"
"I didn't ask if you were in love with Clarke because I thought it would be a good story," she says. "I think it would just be good. For you guys. I think you'd make her happy."
She can see him pause, and maybe he's not actually in love with Clarke. But he would be, in a heartbeat, if he let himself.
"We already make her happy. But that's, uh--sweet of you, I guess. Thanks."
She grins at the notebooks she's straightening. "You're welcome."
*
The thing is, Finn is just in all ways inferior to Bellamy. The more Madi thinks about it, the more obvious it becomes. Bellamy already knows and gets along with all Clarke's friends; Finn is still awkward with them. Bellamy and Clarke own a business together, while Finn is off on his own, working for some company a couple towns over. And, of course, Finn cheated on Clarke in college, while Bellamy is her best friend. And, okay, she has trouble really thinking of Bellamy as attractive, because he's basically her foster dad, he's still better looking than Finn, on a purely objective level. Plus, he's already basically her foster dad, whereas Finn is, at best, this awkward guy who comes over once a month or so and doesn't know how to talk to her. Bellamy's already part of the family, and Finn's not. Finn would have to force himself into their lives, probably trying to push Bellamy out of places he belongs just to make room. It just seems so much easier, to Madi. She's just not sure how to convey that to Clarke. And it's not really her business. She gets that.
But it just seems so logical to her. If only Clarke got it.
There is, of course, the possibility that Clarke doesn’t like Bellamy that way. Madi does understand that. Sometimes people aren't attracted to other people. And she’s not in a great position to figure out stuff like that personally, because, again, Bellamy is basically her foster dad. And if she started asking Clarke about her potential attraction to him, Clarke would probably assume Madi had a crush and worry about it, which would just be the most awkward thing possible, honestly.
Matchmaking parents is a pain; she doesn’t know why there are so many movies about it. She almost wishes she liked Finn, so she could just let it go.
Instead, she goes to Raven and Gina.
Raven went to college with Clarke and Bellamy and is now on the tenure track as a computer science prof at Arcadia, while Gina is an ex-girlfriend of Bellamy’s and current girlfriend of Raven’s. As sources for everyone’s romantic histories go, they seem solid. And they’re watching her while Clarke is out with Finn and Bellamy is running an event at the store, so that’s the perfect opportunity.
“Did Bellamy and Clarke ever date?” she asks, over dinner.
Raven and Gina exchange a look. “Each other?” Raven asks.
Madi rolls her eyes. “Yeah, each other. I know they’ve dated other people. Clarke is literally on a date right now.”
“No, they never dated each other. As far as I know,” she adds. “I don’t know everything they’ve ever done.”
“If they'd dated, we’d know,” Gina says.
“If they'd dated, we probably would have gone to their wedding.” She seems to remember Madi is there and coughs. “Why?”
“I don’t like Finn.”
“Join the club,” says Gina.
“You guys don’t either?”
“It’s complicated,” says Raven, at the same time Gina says, “No.”
That doesn’t take a rocket scientist. “So he was a dick to Raven?”
“He and I used to go out,” Raven says. “A long time ago. When we were kids. He dumped me—“
“He didn’t dump you. I’d like him better if he dumped you.”
“He fucked up. Dated me and Clarke at the same time. Chose her.” She shrugs. “It was tough. But—he’s family.”
“And I’m not related to him, so I don’t have to like him,” says Gina. “He’s a dick.”
“I think Clarke should dump him too,” Madi admits. She should have come to them sooner; they’re validating her way more than Bellamy did. “But I guess she’s worried about the size of her dating pool. I’m not sure why her dating pool doesn’t involve Bellamy. I thought maybe they tried and it didn’t go well.”
“Nope. Not as far as I know."
“And if Clarke is happy with Finn--” Gina starts, and can’t even finish.
Raven grins. “You can’t even imagine someone being happy with Finn.”
“I can imagine someone doing it. Just not Clarke. There's too much history."
"She and Bellamy have history too," Madi offers.
"Yeah, but that's the good kind of history," says Gina. "Not the I cheated on one of your closest friends with you history. Not that you guys were friends yet," she adds, before Raven can. "But still."
"Yeah," Raven agrees. "I didn't think she'd date Finn either."
"But you thought she'd date Bellamy?"
The two of them exchange a look, like they're only just realizing they're talking to her about this, and it might have been a tactical error. That's the nice thing about being an older foster kid with a younger foster parent; none of Clarke's friends except Bellamy have any idea how to deal with teenage dependents.
"We're not saying that," Gina says, careful. "I have no idea if Clarke and Bellamy--you shouldn't get your hopes up about that. They're not--"
"I'm not getting my hopes up," she says. "I just think it would be a good idea."
Raven snorts and offers her a fist bump, which she accepts. "You're just joining all the clubs tonight. Come on, let's get dinner."
*
"I broke up with Finn."
Clarke is looking ahead as they drive home from Raven and Gina's, all her attention on the road. The timing of the admission and her expression work together to send a clear message: I don't want you to know how I feel about this.
Madi ignores it. "How do you want me to react to that?"
After a second, she laughs. "Honestly, I was expecting you to be thrilled."
"I am, but I don't have to be thrilled at you. You can tell me once you tell Bellamy, and I'll be thrilled at him."
"Very considerate." She exhales. "This is going to sound hypocritical, but I felt like I should date him because I didn't have any good reason not to date him. He was fine."
"And you always tell me to be excited."
"Yeah. And I wasn't." She exhales. "He was exciting the first time. It was--I don't know. Boys like him didn't like girls like me. But now I'm older, I realize I don't like him either. Not like that."
"But you aren't happy you broke up?"
"It's kind of nice, having someone to date. I'm going to miss that."
It feels like the right time to ask. "What about Bellamy?"
"What about him?"
"Why did you never date him?"
She doesn’t respond for a long time, but Madi knows better than to think she won’t. She’s formulating a response. Which is good. It means she’s taking the question seriously.
“First, we didn’t get along. It took us about a year to get to be friends. By the time we were, I had a pretty good image of him in my head. He didn’t do relationships, and I wasn’t going to get a crush on someone I didn’t have a chance with. And then I kept on not wanting to do that." She shrugs. "It's easy not dating Bellamy. But dating him would be--"
"Good?" Madi supplies, and Clarke huffs.
"A mess. He's--the second most important person in my life, after you. We work together, we practically live together, I can't even imagine what I'd do without him. He's everywhere."
"Those sound like kind of awesome reasons to date him," she points out. "Like, it seems way more complicated to have someone like that and a boyfriend or a girlfriend."
"Yeah, I get that a lot." She drums her fingers on the steering wheel. "He's not interested."
"So you asked him?"
"No."
"Then you don't know." Madi doesn't know for sure either, but it sounds a lot like they were both playing the same stupid game, the one where they didn't want to like someone they couldn't have, when, if they just talked about it, they'd get each other. "I bet he is."
"Did you have this conversation with him?" Clarke asks.
Madi props her feet up against the glove compartment. "You'll have to ask him," she says, and Clarke smiles a little.
"Helpful."
"Yeah, I really am."
*
She's not sure what she's expecting, in terms of an update. Clarke sat her down and told her about Finn, formally, an announcement of her Intent to Date. It felt like she was checking off boxes, and while that makes sense for Finn, Madi can't imagine the same situation with Bellamy. That's not really how Clarke and Bellamy are. But they'd also definitely tell her. If they were sure.
As it turns out, they don't need to. A week after Clarke breaks up with Finn, she and Madi go into the bookstore on Saturday morning, and Bellamy lights up at the sight of them like Madi has never seen. He brightens like his entire life has gotten better, like he's never been so happy, and Madi looks at Clarke and sees a similar, if slightly less intense, expression on her face.
"Hey, morning," says Bellamy, trying to play it cool, and Madi says, "Did you guys hook up?"
They both freeze. Madi slept over at Monroe's last night, and she thought Clarke might hang out with Bellamy, but she hadn't really thought they'd be so completely obvious about it.
"Wow," she says, and Clarke scowls.
"We didn't hook up."
At Madi's dubious expression, Bellamy clears his throat with a cough. "We talked. And we, uh--decided to give dating a try. See how it goes."
Clarke actually laughs, and she walks over and leans up to give him a kiss. It's a little weird, seeing them like that, but Madi thinks she could get used to it. Especially when they look so pleased about it. They're cute.
"I think it's going to go fine," she tells him, and turns her attention back to Madi. "But yeah, we're trying it. I know you're cool with that, or I'd be having a real conversation with you about what this means for us." She pauses."We'll still have that conversation at some point. I'm not saying nothing is going to change, but--"
"It's okay," Madi tells her. "I know we're going to talk about it sometime. But it's Bellamy. It's fine."
"Uh huh," says Clarke, smiling a little. "Go clock in."
She takes off after lunch, giving Bellamy a kiss and Madi a hair ruffle, and of course that's when Bellamy leans back against the counter and says, "Do you need someone else to talk to?"
Madi makes a face. "What?"
"I know you talk to me about--stuff. I don't want you to feel like you can't now that I'm dating Clarke, but I get that it's different. So--"
She has to smile. "So you're going to find me someone else to talk to? You know I have friends, right? I don't need your help on conversations."
"Madi," he says, serious.
"I can still talk to you," she reminds him. "You're not going anywhere."
"Talking to me about me might be weird."
She considers that and asks, "Are you happy?"
"Yeah. Thanks, by the way. Apparently you've been talking to everyone about this."
"I talked to you first." She bites her lip, remembering that conversation. "Are you in love with Clarke?"
From his smile, she knows he's remembering too. "Completely, yeah. Stupidly."
"Good," she says. "I thought so."