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"Aww, look! There's our dadda!"
That was definitely not what Fujiki Yusaku expected to see as he, like usual, visited Café Nagi after school. There usually were three variants of events occurring around this time. First, Kusanagi Shoichi would be conducting his usual everyday duties as a hotdog vendor. Second, he would be researching any sort of stuff that could possibly help them in their mutual fight against Hanoi. Third, he would be taking a nap in his chair, tired after patrolling the net almost all night long and erasing any traces that could possibly endanger Playmaker's IRL identity.
But of course Yusaku was well aware that this pattern could have been easily broken by something else. It was just that he couldn't have imagined seeing this picture in front of him.
"Kusanagi-san?" the boy's eyes went wide. "What in the world..?"
"Shush!" the man frowned a bit. "You'll scare the baby if you raise your voice like that!"
Before Yusaku could even open his mouth to say something, a loud crying erupted from something carefully wrapped in one of the cafe‘s towels. The boy looked closer and sighed heavily, having noticed what exactly was the source of the noice.
"Just what do you think are you doing?"
This question could easily be directed at both participants of this bizarre tomfoolery, and yet Yusaku was looking more at his duel disc wrapped in some sort of a bundle.
"Waaaahh!" the boy barely managed to cover his ears on time as he almost went deaf from hysterical crying.
"Ooh! Shhh, shhh, little one," Shoichi looked genuinely worried as he rocked the disc in his arms and then huffed at Yusaku. "Come on, darling! Don't be such a meanie to your own baby boy!"
Darling.
Baby boy.
His own.
Yusaku simply had no words.
"Aww, now that's more like it!" Shoichi smiled that incredibly perky and goofy smile as Ai giggled in his arms, giggled like a real baby at that. "Relax, Yusaku," the man explained, smiling at the boy who sat down on his chair and was watching them with eyes full of scepticism. "We're just playing house here."
"Like something that kindergarten and elementary school girls would do?" he raised an eyebrow.
"Well, uh," Shoichi's cheeks turned pink. "When I was small most of my neighbors happened to be girls and I used to hang out with them a lot. We played lots of games such as dressing up, "cooking" and tea parties and, of course, taking care of baby dolls."
"So you decided to refresh you childhood memories?" Yusaku smirked.
"There are times when adults want to become kids again," the man smiled shyly. "But this is not really that case. It's about Ai. Earlier today a young woman came by my stand. She was with her newborn daughter that started crying loudly in her baby carriage. This attracted Ai's attention and he got curious about human infants. You can say we're kinda role-playing right now."
"And this is boring as hell," the AI talked, his voice gave away massive irritation. "All I have to do most of the time is sleeping in that carton box called "crib" and occasionally be hysterical."
"Oh! That's right!" Shoichi reminded. "It's time to feed you, sweetie."
"With ketchup instead of milk?" Ai teased him and sighed as a closed red bottle was right in front of his face. "Okay, I'm full, sorta. Now put me to bed, momma."
Shoichi chuckled and, having pretended that he kissed "the baby", suddenly started to rock it in his arms and hum some nice melody.
"That one... Is that the Edo Lullaby?" Yusaku guessed.
"Yep, one and only," grinned "young mother".
"Geez," Ai huffed. "Why do humans need musical accompaniment to sleep anyway? Like, don't you have a sleep mode button or something?"
"You talk way too much for an infant," Yusaku noted sternly.
"Oh-oh, my "dadda" is so big and scary! I'm shaking in my boots!"
"First of all, young man," Shoichi frowned slightly too, "you don't have boots. Second, respect your father. And third, go to sleep already."
"Behind every great "man" there is a great "woman"," the AI taunted. "Okay, lovebirds, this "baby" here is going to slumberland and let you two coo in peace. Nighty-nighty!"
As he said that he immediately fell into "asleep" mode, pretending to be "sleeping" inside the duel disc.
"I'm being torn apart by certain doubts..." Yusaku sighed as Shoichi put the "baby" into "crib". "Is that really my child?"
"Huh?" Shoichi was a bit taken aback as his sat on his chair next to the boy. "What do you mean?"
"What I mean is," Yusaku crossed his arms, his face had that make-believe expression of righteous indignation, "that kid is purple just like your hair and he has got as much sense of humor as you. It's certain that this child is yours, and yet there is not a single indication pointing at my fatherhood. Like, my supposed "son" doesn't resemble me at all."
"Um..." Shoichi looked totally dumbfounded as the boy's bright emerald green eyes pierced right through him.
"Were you cheating on me, honey?"
The man almost jumped up from his seat as he felt all his blood rushing to his face and his cheeks burning.
"H-hey, Yusaku! What in the world are you talking about?!"
"Hm? Aren't we a married couple?" the boy's own face was indescribably cool and imperturbable. "You are my wife and I am your husband, isn't it?"
Shoichi couldn't properly understand what was going on as his thoughts turned into little chicks that were running around chaotically. Yusaku smirked at the sight of these huge gray eyes looking at him perplexedly.
"Though you still can be a husband and a papa too," he shrugged. "I don't see any problem in same-sex couples raising children. I think it's always better for kids to have a loving family, even if a nontraditional one, rather than living their lives as miserable orphans and turning into bitter adults. Besides, if that's the case with us then it explains why our baby resembles only you. He is biologically yours and I adopted him, right?"
As Shoichi was yet unable to regain his ability to speak Yusaku sighed heavily and a spark of regret became visible in his eyes.
"If only contemporary genetic engineering were developed to the point where two males' DNA could be combined to make a baby... If that were the case then we, my dear, would get a biological child of our own... Can you imagine what kind of happiness that would have been?"
Yusaku was looking right into Shoichi's eyes, having made the man feel so embarrassed that he wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
"Y-yusaku!" he shook his head frantically as he stuttered, his face was red beyond imaginable. "J-just what are you..? D-do you mean you want... with me..?!"
Suddenly, the boy's expression changed and he smiled a little mischievously.
"Oh, don't get so worked up, Kusanagi-san. I'm just joking and playing along with your fooling around. I'm still a bit young to seriously think about having children."
"Heh, is that so?" Shoichi nervously chuckled and sighed with relief.
"Waaaahh!"
"What's the matter now?" Yusaku clicked his tongue as he looked in "the cradle's" direction. "Need a diaper change?"
"AIs don't poop!" Ai snapped. "Hold me, you no-good dadda!"
The boy shrugged and walked to the "baby".
"But you know, Kusanagi-san," Yusaku said with absolutely serious face as he picked up their "son". "I might not be ready to become a "dadda" right now, but time doesn't stand still. That's why... please, do consider the possibility of this "playing house" becoming our reality in the future. Okay, darling?"
Even though Shoichi's mouth agape and saucer-like eyes expression was golden to watch the boy quickly turned away to hide that little sly smile of his.
After all, there is always some underlying truth behind every joke, isn't it?