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With a stifled cry, Keyra startled up from her sleep. It took her a moment to orient herself and realize she was safely in her cabin.
It had only been a nightmare... Yet she could have sworn to still have the stench of burnt flesh in her nose.
Keyra sighed silently and tucked the blanket tighter around her. She usually found the cool air in her cabin pleasant, but now, on her sweaty skin, it felt far too cold.
The slight movement of the mattress below her when Kaidan carefully shifted his weight was no more surprising than the warm hand that shortly after gently stroked over her back. Of course she had woken him up. Once again.
"It's all right, go back to sleep," she said, making an effort to get out of bed, but Kaidan put an arm around her hip to hold her back.
"Another nightmare?" He sat up beside her and pulled Keyra closer to him.
The question had of course only been rhetorical.
She was dripping with sweat, dishevelled, and even in the dim light that emanated from the fish tank, he was able to see the grim expression on her face, that she always put on when she wouldn't admit that something was straining her.
So it was obvious that she had had another nightmare.
"I only slept poorly, don't worry about it," Keyra replied soothingly and tried to get up again, but Kaidans arm still held her back.
"Come on, Major," she teased him with a smile, "let me go. I just want to get a glass of water."
"You say that every time," he countered and pulled her closer to him, placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder. "And then you always end up sitting in the mess with a cup of coffee and a stack of data pads working instead of sleeping."
~That would have been roughly the plan.~ Keyra thought by herself, but she didn't say it out loud.
Kaidan's forehead was already showing this deep worry line again, which showed up whenever he was brooding or worried about something. Lately, she saw this wrinkle much more often than she would have liked.And the fact that he had this expression mostly because of her didn't make things any better.
It had been selfish to ask Kaidan to move into her cabin.... in the crew quarters he had at least been able to get a good night's rest, now her bloody nightmares made not only her lose her sleep, but him as well.
Kaidan noticed that she was distracted and used the moment to slip out of bed.
"Where are you going?"
He could see from the corners of her eyes how she put one foot on the floor and threw a stern look over his shoulder. "Fetch your water. Stay in bed!"
Keyra hesitated briefly. The less she discussed with him, the more likely it was that at least he would get some more sleep... So she pulled her foot back under the blanket, while Kaidan went to her desk and rummaged through one of the cupboards.
When he came back into her field of view Kaidan had not only a bottle of water in his hand. It was only at second glance that she realized that the object in his hand was the edition of Le Petit Prince that Kasumi had given to her. Whatever the master thief had been thinking of giving her a French book, although Keyra couldn't understand a single word of French.
She had seen Kaidan flip through the book a couple of times before. But what was he planning to do with it now?
"What are you going to do with it, reading me a bedtime story?" she asked jokingly and gratefully received the water bottle he handed her.
While Kaidan slipped under the blanket next to her again, she took a big sip from the bottle. It was nice to get the bitter taste of bile out of your mouth.
Kaidan had in the meantime made himself comfortable again and patted invitingly next to himself on the mattress.
"You're not so wrong about the bedtime story. Come here."
Keyra stared at him in disbelief and Kaidan reached out to her with a mischievous grin. "Come on."
"Kaidan..." Keyra sighed quietly. "I'm not a little kid anymore that you have to rock to sleep with a story."
"But it's also no harm if we just cuddle up a little bit and I read aloud" Kaidan held against it. And he didn't look like he was giving up so easily. This man was so bloody stubborn...
With a resigning sigh, Keyra placed the bottle on her bedside table and snuggled up to him. But not without nudging him into the side first and muttering a half-loud “Stop smiling so smugly.”
Kaidan put his arm around her and pressed a kiss on her forehead, his smug grin still in place, before he flipped through the book.
"Don't you usually start at the beginning?" Keyra asked cheeky and he snorted quietly.
"Smartass. I already know the story, and if you can't follow it - let me know."
The two of them exchanged a quick glance and began to laugh. After all they both knew all too well that Keyra couldn't even follow a manual to boil water if it was written in French.
Eventually Kaidan swept his attention back to the little book while Keyra put her head on his chest and closed her eyes. She simply loved to hear his voice, and if it came down to him reading her a French children's book, she wouldn't disdain that either.
After both of them had slid deeper into the cushions and made themselves comfortable, Kaidan cleared his throat and began to read.
“Le petit prince s’sen fut revoir les roses
The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.
Vous n’êtes pas du tout semblables à ma rose, vous n’êtes rien encore, leur dit-il. Personne ne vous a apprivoisées et vous n’avez apprivioisé personne. Vous êtes comme était mon renard. Ce n’était qu’un renard semblable à cent mille autres. Mais j’en ai fait mon ami, et il est maintenant unique au monde.”
„You are not at all like my rose.“ he said. “As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world.”
Keyra took a deep breath. Kaidan's calm voice and his steady heartbeat at her ear were wonderfully soothing, and slowly her eyes began to grow heavy.
„Et les roses étaient bien gênées.
And the roses were very much embarrassed.
Vous êtes belles, mais vous êtes vides, leur dit-il encore. On ne peut pas mourir pour vous. Bien sûr, ma rose à moi, un passant ordinaire croirait qu’elle vous ressemble. Mais à elle seule elle est plus importante que vous toutes, puisque c’est elle que j’ai arrosée. Puisque c’est elle que j’ai misse globe. Puisque c’est elle que j’ai abritée par le paravent. Puisque c’est elle dont j’ai tué les chenilles (sauf les deux ou trois pour les papillons). Puisque c’est elle que j’ai écoutée se plaindre, ou se vanter ou même quelquefois se taire. Puisque c’est ma rose.“
„You are beautiful, but you are empty.“ he went on. “One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you – the rose that belongs to me. But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose.
Kaidan could feel how Keyra slowly calmed down next to him. She didn't constantly shift her weight any more to find a more comfortable position and her fingers, which at the beginning had wandered restlessly over his stomach, slowly came to rest.
„Et il revint vers le renaird: Adieu, dit-il…
And he went back to meet the fox. “Goodbye.” he said.
Adieu, dit le renard. Voici mon secret. Il est très simple: on ne voit bien qu’avec le Coeur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.
„Goodbye.“ Said the fox. „And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.“
L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux, répéta le petit prince, afin de se souvenier
„What is essential is invisible tot he eye.“ the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.
C’est le temps que tu as perdu pour ta rose qui fait ta rose si importante.
„It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.“
C’est le temps que j’ai perdu pour ma rose… fit le petit prince, afin de souvenier
„It is the time I have wasted for my rose…“ said the little prince, so that he would sure to remember.
Les hommes ont oublié cette vérité, dit le renard. Mais tu ne dois pas I’ oublier. Tu deviens responsable pour toujours de ce que tu as apprivoisé. Tu es responsable de ta rose…
„Men have forgotten this truth.“ said the fox. “But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose…”
Je suis responsable de ma rose… répéta le petit prince, afin de se souvenier.“
„I am responsible for my rose.” The little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember...
Careful not to startle Keyra with a sudden movement, Kaidan closed the book and put it next to him on the bedside table after he had convinced himself that she had fallen asleep. By now he knew it when she was only pretending to be asleep. As convincing as she acted, she never managed entirely to release her tension.
Not at all like she seemed at the moment. She looked so peaceful, much... softer than during the day, when there were permanent lines of worry on her forehead and a hard trait around her mouth. Now she was just Keyra, not Commander Shepard, the war heroine on whom everyone placed their hopes, happily ignoring the fact that behind the legend there was still a woman of flesh and blood.
It was no wonder that she forgot it more and more herself as the pressure on her was steadily increasing. But Kaidan intended to keep reminding her of that.
And if he had to read to her every night from The Little Prince so that she could at least strip off the mask of Commander Shepard for a few hours and just be Keyra, he would gladly do so.
Gently, he caressed a strand of hair from Keyras face and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.
"De beaux rêves, ma rose."