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Met-- well, everyone-- played it off as a joke for the most part. Something to laugh about, instead of something that genuniely kept Met up most nights if not all. It was more of a coping mechanism, joking about it. Maybe it would become less serious, and it wouldn't hurt to think about anymore if she taught herself to laugh at it rather than break down and become emotional, which, unfortunately happened more often than not.
Sure, Met liked Hanten. Well, "like" isn't really the strongest word to explain how she felt about Hanten. She loved Hanten. She adored Hanten. She idolized Hanten. Hell, she worshipped the demon. But everybody knew how Met felt, how she had a crush on Hanten. Even Hanten herself knew. But this wasnt some grade school one-week-long infatuation. She guessed that was what everyone else thought, and Met had no idea how to prove them wrong without completely making a fool of herself. It's not like everything she said didn't already do that for her though.
She was so hatefully obsessed with the way Hanten made her feel deep inside. It was gross-- girls were only supposed to feel this way about boys, not other girls! As a matter of fact, Met couldn't even remember the last time she felt anything for a boy that wasn't total aggravation with a hint of annoyance. Sure, boys tried to ask her out once or twice while she was alive, but she always told them that she had better thing to do than waste her time being some boring guys fucktoy. She never even felt any regret, it almost felt good to hurt boys in this way.
But now she was on the recieving end of this kind of treatment.
Maybe this was Hell. Maybe she was sent here so she'd feel the weight of all the horrible things she'd done as a human as long as she existed. It almost made the eternal flames of the true hell look appealing.
Oh no, she's crying again. Met's grateful she's home alone, her crying is so uncharacteristic of her that people would think that she herself had gotten possessed or something. Nobody saw her cry, and she was grateful for that. As far as her roommates knew, she couldn't cry. She liked it that way, because if anybody ever found out how many feelings she exhibited while she was alone, she'd never hear the end of it.
It was lonely, though. She couldn't reach out to anybody. Met knew that nobody would care. They didn't care about her feelings. Her happiness was annoying, her anger was bothersome, and she could only assume they'd call her sadness something like that too.
Met didn't even know why she loved Hanten. All Hanten did was hurt her, insult her, beat her, punch her, kick her. Anbody with common sense would have half a mind to hate Hanten and tremble at the thought of her. But, Met didn't have an ounce of common sense, minus the thing about the trembling. She did in fact tremble at the thought of her crush, but for a different reason.
Her bed was damp, her pillow especiallly. Most of her bed was covered in bloodstains that the washing machine couldn't remove no matter how much detergent they fed the damn thing. It looked cool though, so she didn't mind much.
But she would remain grateful her tears were clear and wouldnt leave a noticable mark no matter how much or how hard she cried.
"Met?"
Shit, that was Kurotsuno. "...What?"
"The hell is this?" The demon's voice was monotone, which was scaries than anything in that moment.
"I have no idea what you're talking about!" Met's voice cracked as more tears found their way down her cheeks.
"Met, I know you're an idiot, but I'm not, and that kind of stuff won't work on me."
Met didn't have a reply. Instead, she pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her forehead on top of them. Maybe if she ignored Kurotsuno, she'd go away.
Kurotsuno stepped towards the bed, and pulled a slight disgusted face when she noticed the splotchy red blots that made up most of the surface area of Met's bed. She hesitated before sitting on the kind-of-less-dirty bedspread.
"Calm down, drama queen. I washed it, the stains won't come out." Kurotsuno jumped a bit at the sound of Met's voice. Aw, now she feels bad! She had no idea Met was watching her, if she had known, she would have at least tried to be a little more sublte. She didn't apologize, the look on her face said enough.
"So whats the deal?" Kurotsuno's voice was mellow, probably in an attempt to soothe the ghost. It had done little to pacify the sobs that had come to rack her body. Kurotsuno didn't want to touch Met. If bad came to worse and she HAD to touch Met, she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.
The ghost shifted uncomfortably. She could feel Kurotsuno's cold gaze burning holes into her. It made Met want to stay silent, but she knew Kurotsuno wouldn't leave until Met spilled her soul to her like some kind of baby. "Why do you care? I thought you hated me."
"I don't hate you. I just have a complicated relationship with you, with everyone. I have a complicated relationship with my emotions. I don't think I have it in my heart to hate you, Met. I think I do the things i do just to keep up appearances in front of Hanten."
Hanten. The name struck a nerve, and Met bit down hard on her tongue to prevent another fit of sobs. She knew if she opened her mouth words wouldn't come out, so she drew in a deep breath and held it.
"Tell me. Now."
Met lifted her head. "It's stupid!"
The demon flinched. "I don't care."
Met blinked at Kurotsuno. "Jesus, you're gonna think I'm a pussy if I tell you this." Her voice trembled as she desperately tried to wipe her face dry.
"I already think you're a pussy. Now hurry up, I don't have all day."
"I love Hanten." Met immedietely regretter being so bold and letting the words fly out almost before she opened her mouth.
"I know. Everyone knows." Kurotsuno rolled her eyes.
"Nah... I don't think you get it. This isn't anything like how that sheep kid feels about you. You barely know the tip of the iceburg."
"Met, I'm pretty sure I know--"
"You don't, okay?! Neither of you will EVER be able to understand what goes on in my head 'cuz of this!" Met snapped, not realizing she had begun crying again. Kurotsuno flinched. Met never acted like this. "I shouldn't even be telling you this."
"Why, what do I have to do with this?!"
""Cuz Hanten's in love with you! This is your fault!"
Met could have slapped Kurotsuno in the face and it would have hurt less. "Met, I can't... I can't control that!"
"I don't think you know how it feels. How I feel. It took me so long to actually gather up the courage to love again... It took me song to stop hating myself for liking girls instead of boys like a normal girl should! Hell, I'm STILL dealing with that! And seeing the only girl i can be myself around, the only girl i can forget most of my problems around, the only girl i know how to love, loving someone else... I don't know, but it's agonizing, Kuro! And to see her openly love someone who she has a signifigant chance with, someone who's liteally better than me in every way, shape, and form, someone who has me beat at everything..." Her voice quavers, just barely able to cover up the sobs that remained in her throat. "I don't want anybody else. I don't know if that makes me obsessed with her or not. I don't know."
Kurotsuno was currently experiencing an emotion that did not exist. "Met... I don't know if it helps or not, but I'm not attracted to Hanten. I never will be, so you don't have to worry about me 'taking her away from you' or anything. Plus, we may not be able to tell now, but there's a good chance Hanten is going through the same fellings you; she knows how I feel. It may be hard, but try to bond with her over this. Don't let it draw you apart. Of course, it may not be wise to discuss your feelings with her in the beginning stages, but you can be there for her. I'm sure youd love to see her happy. Be her shoulder to cry on, let her vent to you, even if it hurts. If its of any consolation, this could only go two ways-- either she gets over me and leaves me alone, or she falls in love with you. I'm sure you're happy with either, as am I. It'd be good for everyone involved if she got over me."
Met thought long and hard about what her friend told her. Maybe she was right. She never really though about how Kurotsuno never actually showed any sort of interest in Hanten. She was so engrossed in making sure nothing happened between them that she never took time to notice what was really going on. Met hated seeing Hanten in pain ,but she had to admit it felt sickeningly satisfying to see Hanten in the same heartbroken state she had put Met in so many times before. Oh god, there she goes again.
"I'm actually glad you're talking to me about this," Kurotsuno started, "I had considered-- only for a moment-- just throwing all my cards down on the table and going out with her, just so she'd stop making a fuss about it. I don't think i was ever actually gonna do it, but I definitely won't now."
Met grinned a little, her face dried. Something inside her sparked, and she threw her arms around Kurotsuno. "Thanks, Kurotsun!"
Kurotsuno didn't hug or reply back, but she felt herself smiling as well.