Archive of Our Own ^beta

Matteusz could hear them all trying to figure out what this thing was, what it could possibly do but since the thing had gone up in smoke moments ago no one had wanted to go near it. How else would they find out exactly what this was though? Besides a meteor at least. Okay then he shrugged his shoulders deciding there and then he'd help figure this out. This way as well if it was dangerous and he got hurt then at least no one else would. It'd just be him.

He'd gripped it ready to throw it when something had stopped him.

How had Poland landed here? In his detention room?

He saw his babcia the clearest - the one who had accepted him only leaving him with a tap on his knuckles for being so stupid she wouldn't - this memory clouding his vision fully now. He'd only realised he'd said something not good and not of choice when he saw the look on the other's faces...and then on Charlie's.

What had he said?

Finally his brain caught up with his running mouth now almost wanting to jump out into the abyss out there. He'd said he was afraid and well that was nothing new- Ever since leaving Poland, coming over here to Coal Hill and then the alien true fighting crime,he hadn't had time to pause and take stock of things or calm down - apparently this meteor had decided to stir up some unwanted feelings, sort it all out for him and seemed happy to do so.

Something happened on Charlie's face again. He'd just admitted what he hoped he'd never say; that he was afraid of someone he loved.

No one needed their fears cast out for the world to see, their fears were theirs only. He felt another somewhere coming up from out of nowhere wanting to push it back with no such luck. His worst thoughts aired. More words came out of his mouth and every single one hurt.

"Sometimes my heart breaks just for the thinking of you" Okay, well that definitely is true enough Matti, you've always wanted to protect the broken man in front of you. Everytime you've seen those restless or sad eyes, you've wanted to wrap him up and not let the world see him. Great, now you sound like a moron tripping over your learned English and you sound like you might be crying, stop it stop it.

"But I'm also afraid of you" No I know that, he doesn't, he doesn't need to. Matteusz stop, you're hurting him.

"You're human all over. But inside you're not human at all" Oh god oh god look at the others, how they must think of you, you've said enough. You can do it. Fight back.

No how hard he tried though, he couldn't. The truth had to come out, it had to be said, the air must be cleared. The man's voice had begun to crack again but this time with fear creeping in closer and tears ready to appear. How could he be saying these things? The meteor clung to his hand with barely any sign of letting go until everything was up in the air.

Please stop, you have my truths now, just let me go, look at how they see me. I do not like being angry or sad. I do not like feeling of dread and loss of hope.

"Of what you're capable of. Of what you will do" Good job, you're pushing them further away, not only hurting him but yourself, this may be the real truth but it should not be. You love him. What would Charlie do after this? I can't lose him. Not do I come back from this? But he is dangerous, I know this. He almost used the Cabinet last time, should I be right to feel like this? He had the ability to hurt people. Hurt me.

The tears had been building for a while now not just from his confession but from his feeling his heart physically breaking. He could have sworn it crack. He'd been about to admit something else surely when April had thankfully knocked it of his hands.

Matteusz felt drained, couldn't even face his boyfriend. He felt somewhat ashamed and somewhat relived it was out there instead of a few years down the line. All couples fought and this didn't exclude them even if both knew their situation was definitely...unique. He felt his presence and sense of mind back in the room focusing on the person he needed most and saw it facing back crestfallen.

How could he explain? How could they come back from this? Maybe they needed space from each other or something, they'd been spending a lot of their time together and maybe that's why it all slipped.

They'd be fine right?

Right?