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Leo thinks about Kefka a lot. His whole existence mystifies Leo, as bewitching as it is terrifying and unnatural.
Kefka is a glittering bauble, a glass ornament so delicate and fragile that even attempting to touch it will leave your hands bleeding, cut open on razor sharp shards that it shatters into upon the slightest disturbance. His own disturbance doesn't move him, the frantic chaotic disarray of his thoughts so natural to him, he would be lost if someone was to put it in order, let the light in. If someone put him back together, the way humans are supposed to be, Kefka would disappear. He's a puzzle made from constantly changing pieces, and the solution eludes Leo each time he thinks he found it, tantalizingly close until it fades away into nothingness, leaving him stumped once again. Leo is frustrated, it's just human nature to want to solve riddles, but he's still glad that he doesn't figure Kefka out, because knowing the answers would likely drive him insane too. And still, he searches for a way to demistify the magician's existence. Once you know the secret to a magic trick, it doesn't fool you anymore. Once Leo understands, why Kefka is who he is, how he works, what makes him tick, he would probably be less drawn to him, the curse would fall and Leo would love someone... someone else. Anyone else.
Kefka's smile is a wide slash of red, a wet gaping wound, disgusting, horrifying and still bewitching as always as it draws Leo in. Kefka's tongue darts out, following the sharp edges of his canines and all Leo could think about is feeling those teeth on his neck, pressing hard enough to draw blood. Kefka smiles like he can read Leo's shameful thoughts, but Kefka always smiles, no matter what. He smiles like a god, his amusement never reaching his eyes, his fury making the edges of his face sharper, the stretch of his mouth wider, his sadness puts a line between his brows, but it never wipes his grin away. He smiles like a god, both benevolent and cruel, endlessly bored and always entertained.
Beneath the layers and layers of decadent fabrics, the glitz of dripping jewels, delicate filigree of eyeliner and a mask of greasy white facepaint there is a human, Leo reminds himself, but each time Kefka strips off his layers, it feels like theres nothing left at all, nothing left besides the extraordinary power that can not be controled, and Leo never was a coward, but the sheer strength residing inside Kefka is so alien, so uncanny, the mere glimpse of it makes Leo's skin crawl. Still, Leo extends his hands towards his lover and embraces him like he's trying to put it all back, give that raw power some kind of shape, press it and mold it into place, but no matter how hard he tries, he just cuts himself on jagged edges over and over.
Kefka is a serpent that bit on it's own tail just to see what would happen, but once tasted blood, ravenously devoured itself whole, until there was nothing left, a paradoxical nonexistence of someone who's so real, so vivid, so warm, impossible to ignore.
It's a carefully constructed facade, a zero-sum game with punishing rules that is played by one and one person alone. In the constant change of masks, the true face is lost and under a thick coat of strategically applied warpaint there's nothing left. Kefka bares himself before Leo, because it's an another whim of his, but in his submission there's no vulnerability to be found, no sincerity or trust, there's only sharpness and danger and Leo dives in despite all reason.
Maybe he's already mad, Leo thinks to himself, because no one in their right mind would want to be with Kefka. It's insane to think he would be reformed, healed, subdued long enough that his power won't pose a threat to anymore. The ones who think that Kefka can be fixed, are far beyond the brink themselves. And would Leo even want him when his deranged antics subside, Leo is not sure.It shouldn't be a question what is the right thing to do, because Kefka is dangerous, becomes more dangerous with every day and not only Leo's life is at stake, but he keeps searching for a compromise in a world of impossibilities, he can't understand Kefka, he can't fix Kefka's shattered mind, he can't stop Kefka from hurting people, so he has to kill him, but that means he would lose him, just like finding the answers means the same thing. And Leo can't lose Kefka. No matter what.