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Everyone looks grim-faced when they filed back into the bridge after the mission. Champ, who had not been chosen by the luck of the Kyulette Chance, immediately stops lifting weights and jumps to his feet.
“What happened?” Balance asks, turning around from the pilot’s seat. Four of the five who’d gone on the mission trade worried looks. The fifth…
Champ focuses his attention on his partner. Stinger has his arms crossed, face drawn, his entire posture screaming ‘leave me alone’ which, with Stinger, is a sure sign that you should not leave him alone.
“Well, we defeated the monster…” Spada begins hesitantly, wringing his cap in his hands. “But…”
It’s Raptor who blurts it out: “Stinger got cursed by a witch!”
Champ stares at him. Stinger pointedly does not look at him, or at anyone else.
“A witch?” Tsurugi repeats blankly. “What kind of witch? What kind of curse? You look all right to me.” This, he tosses at Stinger, who looks at him only to glare. “Well, as all right as you ever look.”
The glare deepens.
“The witch said,” Lucky says, and lowers his voice either for dramatic effect or because he’s genuinely scared, Champ can’t tell, “that he was mean-spirited and no one would love him, so in two days he’s going to turn into a frog.”
“That’s not it,” snaps Stinger before anyone can properly react to this, although Champ’s inner systems have already started roiling in protest and preparation. “She said she couldn’t believe anyone would put up with me, so if I don’t find someone to… to do that in two days, then I’ll turn into a frog.”
He still has his gaze averted. Champ can’t tell if the color rising on the back of his neck is an angry flush or an embarrassed one.
“Holy moly,” says Tsurugi helpfully.
“But we all put up with you,” Champ says in bewilderment. “Whaddya mean you’re gonna turn into a frog? Let me find this witch, I’ll prove—”
Naga interjects matter-of-factly, “Someone has to kiss him to prove it.”
Champ stops in his tracks. “What?”
“What?” at least three other people echo.
Stinger scowls. “It doesn’t matter—I’ll deal with it—”
Kotaro, who hadn’t gone on the mission and had been studying his big brother with worry creasing his forehead, pipes up, “Does it have to be on the lips? Can’t someone just kiss him on the cheek—”
“No.” Stinger’s scowl grows more pronounced. “That’s… that’s not how it works.”
“Oh,” says Kotaro quietly. Then, “But what if—”
“I said I’ll deal with it,” Stinger snaps.
“How?” Champ asks, and is rewarded by a truly impressive glare in response. He sometimes thinks Stinger practices these expressions in the mirror. Forging on in the face of danger, he adds, “One of us can just kiss you, it’s not a big deal.”
“It has to be someone who actually likes him,” Lucky says, then brightens up. “I can do it.”
Stinger flinches. “No.”
Lucky turns a wounded look on him. “But I like—”
“You like everyone,” Stinger mutters. “Doesn’t count.”
Lucky looks comically upset by the thought that his never-ending boundless joy for every person he comes across might be a downside for this one situation. Stinger heaves a deep sigh and whirls to leave the main room.
As soon as he leaves, Raptor speaks up. “She said it had to be reciprocated.”
“What’s that mean?” Garu asks blankly.
“Like, he has to like the other person and they have to like him, too, or the spell won’t break,” Spada explains. “So we can’t just force him into a kiss or it won’t take.”
“Well, that should be easy,” Commander Xiao finally speaks up, a cheerfulness to his voice that Champ thinks is not entirely appropriate for the situation. “Stinger likes everybody!”
As one, the rest of the Kyurangers turn disbelieving looks on him.
Xiao falters. “…Doesn’t he?”
“Do you pay any attention at all?” Raptor asks scornfully. “There are maybe three people on this ship he can actually stand.”
Champ counts only two, but keeps quiet.
“And just ‘tolerating company’ won’t work,” Naga says. “The witch was very mad because he was ignoring all of us.” He looks mildly confused in the way he always does when discussing other people’s emotions.
“But he always ignores us,” Hammy says, brow furrowing. “That’s just how he is.”
“Well,” Champ says, lifting one of his dumbbells up onto his shoulder, “just how he is ain’t going to break this curse. I’ll go talk to him. Why don’t you all decide who gets to kiss him in the meanwhile?”
In hindsight, he really should have known better than to leave something like that up to his teammates.
.
It takes him ten minutes to track Stinger down, who is pacing around in the voyager bay like a caged animal. Champ doesn’t quite see the sense in this, but it seems to calm Stinger down, at least to the point where when he looks up at Champ, he’s not automatically scowling.
His “What?” is pretty snappy, though. Champ looks at him until Stinger’s shoulders deflate. “Sorry.”
“You always have to go and get yourself into trouble when I’m not there, huh?” Champ asks fondly, setting his weight down on the ground and walking over to Stinger’s bright orange voyager. “What’d you do to that witch?”
“Nothing!” Stinger’s scowl is back, but it’s not aimed at him. “We needed her help. She took offense to my… entire spiritual being, as she called it.”
“Yeah, I can see that,” says Champ, amused. Stinger huffs and looks away from him. “So, really, a frog? Like out of those Earthling fairytales?”
Stinger glances sidelong back at him. “Kotaro got to you, too, huh?”
“Someone has to read to the kid or else he won’t go to bed,” Champ agrees. “What’re you gonna do?”
Stinger groans and presses his head into the side of his voyager. “I don’t know. She just disappeared after cursing me, she could be anywhere in the system by now. How do you even fight a witch?”
“I think your best bet is to just accept a kiss,” Champ says carefully.
Stinger lifts his head only to look balefully at him. “From who?”
There’s a minor commotion outside the bay window, which thankfully distracts him from the answer Champ doesn’t have. They both turn to see Spada, Raptor, and Hammy – not the most promising of trios – standing there arguing over something held between them.
“Better go check that out,” Champ says, and reaches for Stinger’s arm before his partner can run into his voyager to escape. “None of that. They want to help you.”
“I don’t want their help.” Stinger’s voice is getting dangerously close to the kind of whining that Kotaro does when he doesn’t want to eat the vegetables Spada cooks for him. Champ debates pointing that out, but figures it’s not worth it.
“What’s up?” Champ asks, all but pushing Stinger out into the hallway. Spada, Raptor, and Hammy stop arguing and trade conspiratorial looks with each other.
“Here,” says Hammy, looking awfully put-out, and shoves a sprig of green plant at Stinger. “This should work.”
Stinger stares at it, then at the three of them. “What?”
“We’ve decided,” says Raptor with a hint of smugness, “that a mistletoe kiss might make things easier on everyone involved. And that Hammy will be the one to kiss you.”
Hammy makes a face. Champ gets the strangest feeling she didn’t actually agree to this, but Spada and Raptor must have been convincing. Or possibly bribed her, that was always easier with Hammy.
Stinger looks horrified. “What?” he repeats. “What’s a mistletoe? And why Hammy?”
“It’s an Earth tradition,” Spada begins to explain, but Hammy cuts in, looking offended.
“What do you mean, ‘why me,’ I’m the only decent choice you have, unless you really want to kiss Mister Legendary back there!”
Stinger glances at her with just the right amount of cutting disdain that has Champ worried. “Can you even reach me?”
This was the wrong thing to say.
.
After extricating Stinger from Hammy’s surprisingly-sharp nails, which involved Champ having to quite literally pick her up and throw her over his shoulder so she would stop attempting to murder his partner and thereby prove the damn witch right, he takes her back down to the bridge to see how everyone else is getting on.
“Was this really your brightest idea?” he demands of the group at large, setting Hammy down on the ground. She gets to her feet with a huff but at least has the intelligence not to attempt to punch him.
“It didn’t work?” Balance seems disappointed. Champ eyes him suspiciously. Sure enough, he grumbles a bit before tossing two gold coins at Naga, who pockets them neatly. “Waste of perfectly good betting money, Hammy.”
“It’s not my fault!” she insists. “He’s annoying! It’s no wonder the witch cursed him.”
“Hammy was our most traditional option,” Tsurugi muses. “Where do we go from here?”
“Are we sure family kisses won’t work?” Kotaro asks, in the tone of one who has asked this question several times already. He’s frowning, clearly upset with the idea of his big brother turning into a frog without him being able to do anything about it.
“Nah, we’ve established family has to put up with you,” Garu says with a shake of his head. “Unless they’re like Stinger’s dead brother, of course.” He growls at the thought, and Champ amuses himself for a moment by imagining Scorpio turned into a frog instead of his little brother.
“So it doesn’t count,” Lucky says, patting Kotaro on the head. “Don’t worry, we’ll think of something.” As always, his optimism is back in full force. “I still think I could do it.”
“I think…” Naga begins slowly. “We might have to force him.”
“But that doesn’t count either,” Kotaro points out.
“Yes, but it’s Stinger,” Naga says, as if this explains everything. There’s a beat of silence while the others process this, followed by a series of nods and assenting murmurs.
Champ is about to protest in his partner’s honor, although Stinger hasn’t left him much room for defense there, when a movement out of the corner of his eye catches his attention. He turns in time to see Tsurugi slipping out of the room.
Come to think of it, he had been awfully quiet this whole meeting…
.
An hour later, having vetoed several different bizarre ideas ranging from tying Stinger up (Garu) to feeding him love potion (Raptor, who had returned from fixing up the injures Stinger had gotten from Hammy after a full thirty minutes), Champ sets off back down the ship towards his rooms, feeling only semi-confident that none of the others will try anything else ridiculous tonight, at least.
The part of his mind that doesn’t have so much faith in his teammates points out that ridiculous is how the Kyurangers thrive, but he manages to ignore that voice all the way up until he runs into a steaming-mad Stinger in the hallway being pursued by Tsurugi.
“Oh, no,” Champ mutters, just before he braces his hands out and catches Stinger by the shoulders. “What now?”
“He’s trying to kiss me,” Stinger sputters in outrage. His tail is almost straight upright behind him, vibrating silently as if it’s taking all his control to keep it from stabbing someone.
Champ holds him down and levels what he hopes is an unimpressed look at him, although laughter is threatening to build in his voice system. “That’s what everyone’s trying to do, partner.”
Stinger glowers at him. “Yes, but he is the last person on this ship who could possibly break the curse.”
“Really?” Champ asks in mild surprise. “You would rank the Commander higher than him?”
Stinger pauses and tilts his head, seeming to genuinely consider this. In this time, Tsurugi crosses the hallway and comes to a stop in front of both of them, breathing heavily.
“Out of shape?” Champ asks sympathetically.
Tsurugi narrows his eyes at Stinger, who shoots him a glare in return. “He made me chase him through the entire upper decks.”
“Stinger,” says Champ, mildly reproachful.
“He kept spraying breath mint at me,” Stinger retorts. Champ can’t argue with that.
“It helps!” Tsurugi says defensively. “Besides, you should feel lucky to kiss me, I’m a legendary—”
Stinger, still facing Champ and away from Tsurugi, jabs his elbow backwards and nails their ever-irritating twelfth member in the guts. Tsurugi doubles over, coughing, and Stinger takes advantage of Champ’s surprise to slip out of his grasp and down the hallway.
“I think,” Champ says, after a moment of silence punctuated by Tsurugi’s choking noises, “you might have to let this one go.”
.
Luckily for at least one member of the team, Stinger’s room is on the way to Champ’s, so before he goes to power down for the night, he happens to come across what looks alarmingly like the scene of an attempted kidnapping.
“Get off me!” Stinger demands, struggling to overpower Lucky and Garu at the same time. Champ’s eyes zero in on Spada in between them, quickly crafting a spoonful of whatever concoction is in the bowl he’s holding.
“This’ll just help relax you,” says Spada soothingly. “It’s my special herbal remedy for nerves—” But the green flakes in the bowl are sparkling, which means there’s a good chance there’s a Kyutama at work here. Worriedly, Champ starts forward, ready to separate by force if necessary.
“If you feed me that, I will hurt you,” Stinger hisses, practically spitting at Spada, who looks concerned now. But Lucky and Garu are strong enough together to keep Stinger from lunging at their chef.
“It’s just a kiss,” Spada says hesitantly. If looks could kill, he would already be dead.
“All right,” Champ says loudly, coming forward and managing to surprise them enough that Lucky and Garu falter and Stinger shoves them both away, his tail stabbing Spada in the arm for good measure. “I think that’s enough. You know we can’t force a kiss, it goes against the rules of the damned curse.”
He pauses and takes the spoonful of – whatever it was, yogurt, maybe? – food from Spada, who’s wincing and cradling his arm, and observes it in silent suspicion. “Also, I’m pretty sure it goes against Rebellion code of conduct to force Kyutamas on a teammate outside of emergencies.”
“But this is an emergency!” Garu protests. “He’s going to turn into a frog tomorrow!”
“Not tomorrow.” Stinger sniffs. “I have two days. This was day one.”
Lucky looks incredulously at him. “And you’re not worried?”
Stinger spares him a poisonous glance. “Why don’t you all mind your own business and let me deal with this myself?”
“We’re just trying to help,” says Spada, looking hurt.
Stinger rolls his eyes. Sensing another fight about to break out, this time from Garu who’s started growling, Champ quickly herds the three of them away from Stinger so nobody gets more injured tonight.
“Go,” he insists when Lucky tries to protest. “We’ll all deal with this tomorrow.”
“Maybe we should just let him get turned into a frog,” Garu grumbles as the three of them slink away.
Champ turns to look at his partner and notes the annoyance fading to genuine upset on his face, although it only lasts a moment before Stinger turns on his heel to enter his room. He doesn’t slam the door behind him, which Champ takes as an invitation to come in.
“Champ,” says Stinger carefully. “Does my bed look off to you?”
He glances at the bed. The blankets and pillows are all black with orange accents, and everything is neatly made and perfectly tucked-in.
“Yeah, it looks like you haven’t slept in it for a month,” Champ says. Stinger has been sleeping in it for a month, and he never keeps it this neat. Champ inhales and gets a strong whiff of flowers and some other perfume-y smell.
Stinger rubs a hand tiredly over his face. “This is Raptor’s idea,” he decides. “There’s probably something on the sheets…”
“Maybe you should sleep in my room tonight,” Champ agrees. “Less chance of getting surprised in the morning.”
Stinger looks at him sharply. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” says Champ with a shrug. “S’not like I need the bed. And I can keep watch, make sure none of them try anything funny.”
“Right,” Stinger sighs and heads for the door. Halfway there, he stops and looks over his shoulder. “You don’t seem as worried as everyone else.”
Champ snorts and claps him on the shoulder. “’Course not. I know you, and you’ve faced down tougher enemies than a little witch from some backwater planet in the Monoceros system.”
This brings a smile to Stinger’s face. “I suppose you’re right. But if I do get turned into a frog…”
“I promise to keep you in a clean cage and feed you every day,” Champ says solemnly. Stinger shoves his arm and Champ chuckles as the two of them head down the hallway to his room.
.
His systems jolt awake the next morning at the sound of Stinger’s shout.
“What are you doing?” Stinger demands of whoever else is in the room – after a moment, Champ’s eyes flash and reorient themselves to the light to see Raptor leaning over Stinger in his bed.
Raptor backs away quickly, because Stinger’s tail is curling dangerously in the air, ready to stab. “I thought it would help if you weren’t so… wound up when the kiss happened.” As a robot, she can’t exactly blush, but she looks a lot pinker at the moment anyway.
“So you thought you’d kiss me while I was sleeping?” Stinger asks in outrage.
“I wasn’t going to kiss you!” Raptor snaps, sounding offended. “I was going to wake you up first, I’m not an animal.”
“Hey,” Champ protests.
“Sorry,” she says to him. “But studies show that people are calmer when they’re just waking up and, well, Stinger is always so…”
Stinger glares at her, daring her to finish the sentence.
“Uptight?” Champ offers for her, and Stinger turns his glare on him.
“Yes,” says Raptor, nodding. “But clearly you’re too paranoid to wake up like a normal person.” With a huff, she turns and leaves the room, leaving Stinger staring after her in disbelief.
“How am I in the wrong here?” he asks of Champ, waving a hand wildly. “You can’t just kiss someone while they’re sleeping!”
“Actually,” Champ begins, thinking of another one of Kotaro’s fairytales, but Stinger silences him with a glower. “Well, she’s only trying to help you, partner. Can’t really blame her there.”
“I can,” Stinger grumbles, sitting up straight and swinging his legs over the bed, clearly done with sleep. “If they weren’t so concerned with kissing me, maybe they could have tracked down that witch already and gotten her to reverse the curse.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works,” Champ says doubtfully, but Stinger is already pulling on his boots. “What, you’re gonna go back down there and find her?”
“It’s my only option,” says Stinger grimly. “At least, my only option other than sitting around here waiting for my idiotic teammates to attack me with surprise kisses.”
“That sounds fun to me,” Champ says, and ducks to avoid the balled up sock Stinger throws at him.
.
They narrowly avoid three more kissing attempts on their way out of the Orion, once by Lucky and twice by Balance, who Champ is pretty sure is only doing this to win some of his money back from Naga. Stinger is in a thoroughly sour mood when they finally land in the park on the planet they had run into the witch the day before.
“She might not be here,” Champ warns him, surveying the rather peaceable park around them. There’s a lot of unicorns grazing on the grass, and several children with glittery hair running around, which is about normal for the Monoceros system.
“Maybe, but it’s worth a shot.” Stinger stops in front of a bench where an old lady with silver hair is sitting. She looks up at him with mild curiosity. “Do you know a witch around here?”
Champ steps around a unicorn in a hurry, hoping the lady doesn’t take offense and end up cursing Stinger, too, but she only laughs and points a wrinkled finger at him.
“You’ve been cursed,” she says with delight. Stinger’s mouth twists down. “I can’t help you. Only the witch who cast the spell can take it off, and witches would never do that.”
“Just tell me where I can find her,” Stinger says through gritted teeth.
“Can’t,” says the woman smugly. “She’ll be far gone by now. But I can tell you, the only way to beat a witch’s curse is to either fulfill her conditions… or get a true love’s kiss.”
Stinger narrows his eyes at her. “The condition is a kiss,” he says stiffly.
“Amazing!” she crows, clapping her hands together. “What a spectacular curse. Then there’s no two ways about it, you must get a kiss to break it.” She squints at him. “How long do you have?”
“Lady, we only have a day,” Champ says when Stinger seems disinclined to answer in favor of glowering at the woman. “Can you help us out at all or not?”
“Nope,” she says and gets to her feet with the help of a long silver cane. “But good luck. And may I say, you would have a much easier time getting rid of her curse if you stopped being so prideful.”
With that, she sets off down the park, still chuckling to herself. Stinger stares after her with the look of one being sentenced to death.
Champ touches his shoulder, aiming to be gentle this time. “Suppose we’re back to square one, then,” he says ruefully.
“Yeah,” Stinger says with a deep sigh. “Who hasn’t tried to kiss me yet?”
.
The answer, as it turns out, is almost everyone. When the two of them return to the ship after several fruitless hours of search, there seems to be a whole party waiting for them. Literally. They’ve put up streamers and everything.
On edge immediately, Stinger demands, “What’s going on?”
“We thought having a party would take your mind off things,” Commander Xiao says cheerfully. “Plus, who doesn’t love parties? We’ll have a ball!”
“I don’t want—” Stinger begins, but Champ shoves him gently forward into the room before he can run away. He shoots a glare over his shoulder, but Balance starts the music and it’s a lost cause at that point.
“Just enjoy it,” Champ advises him quietly. “You never know, it could be your last.”
Stinger scoffs. “If you think I’m gonna let a stupid curse get—stop that.” This is aimed at Lucky who’d been trying to sneak a kiss on him. Champ had seen him coming, but he’d wanted to see how long it would take Stinger to notice.
Lucky, never one to be beaten, only beams at him. “I’ll keep trying,” he says in a stage whisper to Champ, and then quickly runs from Stinger’s murderous glare.
“They’re impossible,” Stinger grumbles. “How do they not get that none of them can break the curse? She said it had to be someone I liked.”
“Have you tried liking them?” Champ asks reasonably.
Stinger scowls. “I would like them better if they would stop trying to kiss me, no, Spada, I’m not going to dance with you.”
“But it’s a party!” Spada looks crestfallen. Champ catches him making hand gestures behind his back and Naga and Hammy quickly backing away. “You have to dance!”
“No.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Champ says in amusement as Spada sighs and walks off. “You know, this is probably what the witch was talking about.”
“What?” Stinger asks blankly.
“Your complete inability to let people into your life without some traumatic incident.”
Stinger gapes at him. “What—that is not true!”
Champ takes a swig of his oil carton and waits. Stinger slumps.
“Okay, it is true,” he acknowledges. “But this is a cruel and unusual punishment.”
“It’s only cruel and unusual because you’re making it a big deal,” Champ tells him. “If you would calm down and let one of them kiss you, it would be over in a flash.”
Stinger’s face twists. “But I don’t want—don’t look at me like that, you know it’s not going to work if I’m only doing it to get rid of the curse.”
“You can’t handle kissing anyone in this room?” Champ asks, gesturing around them. Despite the party only being a pretense, the rest of the team is genuinely getting into the music and dancing, and Kotaro’s started up a card game on the pool table.
Stinger pauses and looks at him, mouth open but no words coming out. “I—”
“Stinger!” says the Commander from behind them. Stinger whirls just in time to get sprayed in the face with some sort of mist. “Say cheese!”
“That’s for pictures,” Champ says, bemused, as Stinger coughs on the mist.
“Is it?” Xiao looks disappointed. “That’s odd.”
Garu, evidently chosen by the luck of the draw that Balance and Hammy were leading in the corner for this particular mission, comes up through the mist and grabs Stinger by the collar. “Don’t make this difficult,” he warns him, leaning in.
Stinger, who excels in making things difficult, ducks down, cuffs Garu on the wrist so he drops him, and runs away.
Champ sighs deeply. “I’ll go get him.”
.
He finds Stinger out on the decks, leaning over the edge and watching the clouds drift by below. They’re still parked over Earth, so there’s trees reaching up into the sky and mountains barely visible in the distance.
Stinger looks defeated. Champ walks over to the railing and watches him in silence for a moment, letting him have the first word.
“You’re right,” Stinger finally says, slowly. “Everyone’s trying to help me and I’m being…” He pauses, debating the right word. “A dick.”
Champ snorts in amusement. “Where’d you learn that?”
“Kotaro,” Stinger admits, then glances at him contemplatively. “I don’t think he should know that word.”
“No, probably not,” Champ agrees. “Think that one’s Tsurugi’s fault.”
Stinger grins briefly, then looks away again. “I should just let them do it, right?”
“If that’s what you want,” Champ says gently. “If you really want to get turned into a frog, we can’t stop you.”
Stinger huffs out a half-laugh. “I don’t want that. But I guess the witch was right. I’m not good at dealing with people. And I’ve been with these guys for months now.”
“Want my suggestion?” Champ asks, and Stinger nods. “Go in there, pick the lesser of ten evils, kiss them, and then threaten them on pain of death to never talk about it again. Problem solved, everyone’s happy except for Balance because he’s been running a betting pool on all this.”
Stinger mulls this over. “Lesser of ten evils, huh?” he says, and looks at Champ sidelong, almost bashfully. “I notice you’re not included in that count.”
Champ stares at him, a little caught off guard. “Well, I—I’m a robot, partner. I don’t think I actually can kiss you.”
“Raptor and Balance both tried,” Stinger points out, carefully not looking at him again.
“Yes, but Balance is a mechanical lifeform, and Raptor is…” Champ pauses. “Raptor.”
A small smile plays on Stinger’s lips. “True. But you’re… you’re my partner.” His voice gets softer as he speaks. “If you’d been there, I don’t think the witch would have cursed me.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t,” says Champ, something inside him whirring strangely. “Is it because I would’ve punched her first?”
“Maybe,” Stinger says, a note of amusement in his voice. “Or because you’re the only one who can stand me.”
“That’s not true,” Champ protests. “They love you. They wouldn’t go to all this trouble if they didn’t.”
“Right.” Stinger pushes himself off the railing and turns to face him, and Champ catches the flash of hurt lingering in his expression. “I guess I’ll just go back in there and…”
“Hey,” Champ interrupts, reaching out to touch his shoulder. Stinger jumps in place, just a little. “If you really want, I can do it.”
Stinger looks away, mouth pressed into a line. “It won’t work if you don’t want to.”
“What makes you think I don’t want to?”
They’re in an open space but the air still seems to press in on them all of a sudden. Stinger’s lips part in surprise and Champ takes the opportunity to move his hand from Stinger’s shoulder to his chin and lift his head up. His eyes are wide, and a flush is slowly creeping up the back of his neck. In the golden deck lights, Stinger’s hair looks even softer, his skin warm under Champ’s touch.
All these details and more whiz through his mind as he watches Stinger’s intake of breath, the way it gets caught in his throat.
“You—” Stinger’s eyes close for a second. “What if it doesn’t work?”
“Then,” Champ says patiently, “I will find that witch in whatever corner of the galaxy she’s hiding out in, and I will shake her until she agrees to uncurse you.”
Stinger lets out a breathless laugh. “Okay,” he says. “That’s—are you going to—”
Champ leans down at the same time as Stinger moves up, and the silver plating of his mouth presses against Stinger’s lips just as the sun begins to set in the distant horizon. He’s still not sure if this counts, since he can’t do much in the way of kissing except let Stinger’s mouth linger over his, but it’s a pleasant sensation nonetheless, warming up his systems so much that they start whirring in his chest again, like he’s got butterflies in there or something.
Stinger pulls back, now flushed all the way to his cheeks. “That was,” he starts to say, fumbling for the right descriptor, when he’s cut off by a cheer from just around the corner.
Immediately, Stinger jumps apart, both of them whirling around to see Balance, Naga, and Hammy standing there. Of the three, only Hammy has the decency to look guilty; Naga just looks curious, and Balance was the one cheering.
“Don’t tell me,” Champ groans. “You actually won the bet.”
“How crazily crazy is that!” Balance says, practically beaming, if a mechanical lifeform could beam. “And just in time! Who doesn’t love a happy ending?”
“We still don’t know if it worked,” Naga points out delicately.
“If I’m turning into a frog tomorrow, I’m taking all of you down with me,” Stinger threatens, taking two steps forward.
The three scatter to the winds, Hammy shrieking as she dives back around the corner and Balance tripping over Naga before they stumble through the nearest doorway. Stinger makes to run after them but stops as soon as they disappear, turning back to Champ with a sheepish smile.
“Guess we won’t know till tomorrow,” Champ says with a snort of laughter, walking forward to Stinger’s side. “How do you want to celebrate your possibly-last day as a scorpion-human?”
Stinger fixes a look on him, but his tail is twitching in amusement. “I’m going to steal the money pot from Balance,” he announces.
“You’re going to steal from a thief?” Champ asks, bemused.
“He doesn’t deserve it,” Stinger says. “We earned that money.”
“Somehow, I don’t think he’s going to see it that way.”
Stinger’s lips quirk in a small, secret smile that makes Champ’s heart-systems start vibrating in that warm, pleasant sort of way again.
“He’ll just have to deal with it,” he says, and hesitates only a moment before reaching out and slipping his hand into Champ’s, tugging him forward and through the door, back to the party.
.
Balance does not, in fact, see it that way, but Stinger has the brilliant idea to stash the money – and himself – in Champ’s room instead of his, where nobody would dare break into (well, except Raptor, but Champ thinks she’ll be staying away this time).
The next morning, Champ wakes up to the sound of several people whispering rather loudly outside his room. Since he knows none of his teammates are capable of being quiet when they want something, he makes sure the money is locked up well before opening the door.
“Did it work?” Kotaro asks, hands clasped and eyes wide with worry. “Is Bro okay?”
Champ glances over his shoulder, to where Stinger is stirring in his bed. Then he glances back at the team, most of whom are crowded up against the door and trying to look inside to find out if Stinger is actually a frog now.
“Aside from the fact that he snores worse than Garu, yes,” Champ answers, and studiously ignores the pillow thrown at his back. Of course Stinger would wake up just in time to be offended.
“Holy moly,” says Tsurugi. “So kissing him actually worked?”
“I want my money back!” Balance calls loudly.
“Are you sure he’s not a frog?” Hammy sounds disappointed; Champ makes a mental note to keep her away from any witches they might meet again, ever.
“I’ll check and get back to you,” he says dryly, and closes the door before any of the others can comment or Balance can demand his money back again.
Stinger sits up in bed, now missing a pillow, and rubs his eyes. “They’re not gonna leave, are they?”
“Doubt it,” Champ says, listening to the sounds of a scuffle outside, probably for who gets to press their ears to the door. “How’re you feeling, partner?”
“Human,” says Stinger, observing his arms which are indeed still human. “Better than expected.”
Champ picks up the pillow on the floor and tosses it back at Stinger, who catches it easily. “Not even a little green?” he teases.
Stinger rolls his eyes. “You’d like that, huh?” His voice is grumpy but his face is absurdly fond as he looks up at him, hair ruffled and eyes still-sleepy, a smile threatening to escape.
“Not at all,” Champ says with a chuckle and sits down next to him on the bed, covering Stinger’s hand with his own and squeezing. “Glad you’re back, partner.”
Stinger stares down at their hands. “Yeah,” he says softly. “Me too.” Then, louder, so his voice will carry out the door, “I think we should go down to Earth today and spend all of that money we won.”
“You didn’t win!” Balance protests from outside as Champ struggles to stop his laughter from escaping.
“And maybe we should go hunt down that witch again so she can turn any of our nosy, gambling teammates into frogs for real,” Stinger continues, his voice getting louder with every word.
Champ snorts. Outside, there’s a beat of silence as the team debates whether or not Stinger is serious – probably – and whether or not it’s worth it to stay and eavesdrop – probably not – and then a mad scramble down the hallway. At least two people trip and fall with audible thumps; Champ turns on his enhanced hearing to note with some satisfaction that it’s Balance and Lucky.
“What are you even going to spend all the money on?” he asks Stinger after they leave. In his palm, Stinger’s hand turns up and their fingers interlace.
“I don’t know… expensive things. Stuff Balance would normally steal and therefore find it a complete and offensive waste of money to actually buy.” Stinger’s smile turns wicked. “We could buy them all gifts and then they’d have to decide whether they can swallow their pride and accept the stuff I bought with their stolen money or not.”
“Devious,” Champ remarks dryly. “I think you actually like them, partner.”
Stinger shudders. “Don’t say things like that.” But his face is still all warm when he looks over at Champ. “Maybe we could just… go to that amusement park or a nice restaurant and waste all the money on a day off.”
“You asking me out?”
“Maybe.” Stinger’s face is flushed but he goes on, “Are you saying yes?”
Champ snorts. “Like I would say no to you.” He gets up from the bed but doesn’t miss the way a smile blooms over Stinger’s face, still holding onto his hand. “Come on, then, let’s get you cleaned up so we can go waste all of their money.”
Stinger’s hair is still all mussed up from sleep when he stands, so Champ reaches his free hand out to smooth down the errant strands. Stinger stands there, looking up at him, and without really thinking about it, Champ’s hand drifts down to cup his cheek, absently brushing an eyelash off his skin.
“You good?” Champ asks slowly, seriously, searching Stinger’s face for any signs of a curse, or any second thoughts, or anything.
Stinger leans into the touch, then upwards until his mouth brushes Champ’s again. For a moment, he lingers on the kiss, just as warm and sweet as last night, if less urgent and dramatic. When he pulls back, his lips quirk in a smile, secretive and soft, just for him.
“I’m good,” he confirms, curling a hand around Champ’s and squeezing. There’s a world of meaning in the touch that Champ can’t begin to decipher just yet. “Thanks to you.”
Champ chuckles, and is about to respond when there’s a sound just outside their door – apparently they have a teammate with a death wish. Stinger sighs.
“I’ll take care of it,” Champ assures him, pressing his hand to Stinger’s cheek once more in gentle assurance before stepping back.
“Turn them into a frog if you can,” Stinger mutters, heading for the bathroom. Despite his tone, his smile remains, so Champ thinks he can maybe get away with going easy on whoever it is still outside there.
Still. He grabs a dumbbell off the floor just in case. If he’s going to scare them away from following him and Stinger on their date today, he needs to do a damn good job.